A/N: So, you've made it to the last chapter! Aren't you proud? I am. Thank you for all the kind reviews, they really make my day. I have another story planned, hopefully I can start writing it soon with all that studying I have to do. RL sucks, what a surprise!
I hope you liked the story!
Kathleen (my beta), you're my hero g
Carson dropped everything he was doing when he heard Teyla's frantic calls. His mind was racing, trying to come up with the various possible complications a patient was likely to suffer in Sheppard's condition and how they could be treated.
By the time he reached the Colonel's bed, Teyla had stopped screaming for him. She was bent over the Colonel's lifeless form, shaking his limp shoulders and urging him to wake up, receiving no response.
"I'm here, Teyla," Carson said, gently pushing her aside when she didn't move. As soon as he'd gotten a better look at John, he was genuinely surprised at the condition in which he found his patient. He was used to all sorts of horrible medical scenarios, especially with Colonel Sheppard, but this was entirely different.
His patient seemed to be resting peacefully, though the covers were drenched in sweat. He wasn't struggling for air or thrashing around in pain – something Carson had fully expected to see.
"I cannot get him to wake…" Teyla explained with a small, shivering voice.
Carson continued to check the readings on the monitors and took the Colonel's pulse and temperature. He took a minute to scribble something down on his chart after he had listened to John's chest and sides with his stethoscope.
"Well, other than a slightly elevated temperature, there doesn't seem ta be anything wrong with him, lass." Teyla stared at him with disbelieving eyes. Carson knew that for her to be reacting this way, something must really be eating at her, and he didn't need a degree in psychology to guess what it was.
"Listen, love, he's gonna be fine!" he reassured.
"Then why will he not wake?"
"It's his body's own way of making sure it gets plenty of rest ta heal itself. Up ta now, this is just a minor setback, and his temperature seems ta be holdin' steady. If that doesn't change, he'll be back on his feet before ya know it."
"Are you sure?" Teyla asked, still not looking convinced.
Carson sighed. He was starting to think that the Athosian needed to have a talk with Kate. Not only did she have a panic attack when the Colonel had merely fallen asleep, now she was doubting his diagnosis. Where did all of this mistrust suddenly come from?
"I'm sure. Now, I want ya ta go and let the Colonel rest." She allowed him to guide her out of the main infirmary entrance.
"I would like to apologize for my reaction, Dr. Beckett. It was unaccounted for." The despair in her voice made Carson's heart melt. The young woman had a long way to go before she could even think about forgiving herself.
"No need ta apologize, love. Ya didn't know what was wrong with him, it could have been much worse."
"This is bad enough," Teyla added with a tone of defeat in her voice. Carson wanted to reassure her again that it wasn't her fault, to tell her that she had to stop beating herself up over this, but he knew he wasn't in a position to make her feel any better.
"I'll call ya when his condition changes."
Teyla nodded and silently walked away toward the gym.
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Two days later in the infirmary
"Hey, Elizabeth!" John greeted when she pulled back the curtain and sat down on the only chair, looking somewhat surprised.
"Carson told me you were asleep."
"Did he say that before or after he yelled at Rodney to get out of his way?" he asked, earning a smirk from his visitor. Elizabeth noted that he still looked somewhat pale, and his voice sounded weaker as usual. However, Carson had assured her that the infection had cleared, and he was finally on the mend. It was about time after a whole week of fighting for his life.
A wheezing sound shook her out of her thoughts, and she saw that John was having difficulty sitting up.
"Hey, hey, that's what adjustable beds are for," she argued and propped up the head of the bed before John had the chance to struggle anymore. He lent back and nodded thankfully.
"Right, we wouldn't want the Ancients to have spent all that ancient money for nothing, would we?"
Elizabeth smiled. It was a good sign that John was starting to get his humour back.
"So, how's your physical therapy coming?"
"Doc said I could walk around for a bit today. He's taking bets on whether I make it to the next bed without falling on my face."
Elizabeth couldn't hide her smirk, partly because she could actually picture Carson saying that and partly because she was relieved John was finally feeling better. It reminded her of what she came here to say. "Um, listen. Now that you're fully lucid, I just wanted to tell you again how sorry I am. I was screaming at her not to do it, but…" Her voice staggered.
"I know, Elizabeth. The same thing happened to me, remember? And I might not have been at my best, but I do remember hearing at least five of the ten apologies from you before." He paused. "Look, let's just forget all of this, okay? It wasn't exactly our finest moment."
Elizabeth hesitated, but when she saw the pleading look in the Colonel's eyes, she knew what she had to do. He was right. Nobody understood better what she had gone through than John, and she could see in his eyes that he had forgiven her. If he wanted them to forget this, she would do that. The poor Colonel was probably sick of going over this again and again.
"Okay, let's forget it." She caved in.
"Great!" Elizabeth knew they would be okay, because John shot her a sincere smile and it was enough to convince her that she needed to leave this behind her.
"Alright, now I need you to do me a favour." His mischievous expression gave her the impression that he was up to something.
"Yes?" she asked cautiously.
"Remember, you still kinda owe me." He pointed at the wound on his stomach, pouting slightly as he did so.
"Wait, I thought we were going to forget this?"
"We will. Just reminding you, is all. Listen, Teyla hasn't been to visit me in the last couple of days, and I think there might be something wrong with her."
Elizabeth interrupted him as soon as she figured out what he was going to ask. "Forget it, John. I'm not taking you down there!"
"I wouldn't ask you if it wasn't important. I'd go alone, but I seriously doubt I'd make it that far. Of course, I could try it by myself, but you're gonna have to mount a search team to find me after I painfully collapse out of pure exhaustion." John Sheppard knew exactly what buttons he had to push. He hated playing with her guilty conscience, but it seemed to be the only way.
"Well, why didn't you ask Carson to get you a wheelchair and wheel you down?" she asked innocently.
"Oh please, I could also strap myself down on this bed…"
"He's gonna kill me for this!" she said quietly but loud enough for John to hear.
"Is that a yes? Elizabeth, you're the best!" John had already pushed his blanket aside, revealing his grey sweat pants. He was trying to get up, but his legs kind of felt like jello.
"Not so fast, young man." Elizabeth pushed him back onto the bed and disappeared, only to return with a wheelchair a few moments later.
"You want me to get into that thing?" he asked with shock disbelief. He was painfully aware of the fact that Carson was right – he probably wouldn't make it to the next bed, not to mention all the way to the gym, where Teyla probably was.
"Either that thing or your bed, Colonel. You choose." John almost had to smile at her dead serious expression.
"Wow, you can be scary!" he added but let Elizabeth help him into the wheelchair. It wasn't an easy task, his legs weren't doing what he wanted them to do, and Elizabeth practically had to lift him into the wheelchair. By the time he was settled, his face was contorted with pain, and he was panting hard.
Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure you can do this? I'd much rather call Carson…"
"No!" he exclaimed, trying to catch his breath, "I'll be fine…"
"But…"
"Elizabeth, I really need to do this now!" he was relieved that his voice had regained its strength in that exact moment.
"Who's scary now?" He glanced at her, trying to show her that this was very important to him.
"Alright, alright. Stop the puppy look, would you?" she asked while wheeling him out of the infirmary. Before they sneaked out, she was able to catch a glance of Carson sitting in his office, absorbed in his studies.
The doctor would certainly be pissed when he found out about this "jail break"!
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"Will you be okay?" Elizabeth asked once they had reached the gym. The unmistakeable sounds coming from inside proved that Teyla was practicing as Sheppard had expected.
"Yeah, thanks Elizabeth!" John moved his hand over the consol, and the door swooshed open. Teyla was so caught up in her training, she hadn't noticed him entering.
"I'll just go and leave you two to it," Elizabeth said and quietly retreated.
"Pretty good!" John said after watching one of Teyla's moves. She instantly turned around and stared at John.
"Colonel!" she stuttered, throwing her sticks on the mat. She stayed a few feet away from him.
"Yeah, me. The guy that's been locked up in the infirmary. Remember me?" he asked with a slight hint of annoyance in his voice.
"Should you be out of bed?" Teyla asked uncertainly. She couldn't help but notice his pale face. He looked worn out and bone-tired.
"You know, I was kinda counting on you keeping me company in Carson's cage of terror, but you haven't been down there to see me once in two days."
"I have been busy," she said evasively, averting her eyes at once.
"Oh, come on Teyla. Let's just cut the crap and get to the point! Why do you feel so guilty? I told you again and again that you didn't have any choice, and you still can't look me in the eyes. What else does it take to convince you that this wasn't your fault?"
"That is not the point, Colonel. I know that you do not blame me, but I cannot forgive myself. I almost killed you, and that is going to be on my conscience for the rest of my days."
"You know what your conscience would do to you if you hadn't shot? If you had let all those people die just because of me? You need to learn to let things go, or you'll never be happy in your life. Everything seems to be going downhill with the Wraith, and we can trust no one but each other. If you don't trust yourself, I can't count on you out there! You're probably gonna have to do things that are much worse than this, and you need to learn to live with it!"
Teyla stared at him in silence before turning away. He had never been good at reading her expressions, and he had no clue what she thought right now.
"It sounds so easy when you say it and yet I have found myself unable to look in the mirror. How do you stop that, Colonel? How do you make that feeling go away?" The defeated, tired tone in her voice surprised him. It was very rare for Teyla to show such consuming emotion as this.
John awkwardly got up and unsteadily walked to Teyla's position. He put a hand on her shoulder.
The Athosian quickly turned around when she felt the light touch on her shoulder and put both hands on John's arms to support him. He looked about ready to fall.
"John, you should not be up!" She guided him back to the chair, but his strength was quickly failing. When they reached the wheelchair, Teyla was dragging him more than supporting him. She gently sat him back down and kneeled down to be at his eye level.
"I am going to bring you back to the infirmary."
"No, I want to finish this first," he argued, his voice coming out weaker than he intended.
"Thing is, the feeling never goes away, but you have to learn to live with it. Think about all the lives you saved that day! And I'm not even dead!" he said, earning a light smile from Teyla.
"There were a lot of lives at stake. And it is quite obvious that you are not dead!" Teyla looked like she had just now realized that things weren't so bad after all. She smiled at John.
"Feel better?" he asked, but Teyla noticed that he was starting to slur his words and sag in the wheelchair.
"I do feel better, and now it is time for you to get back to bed!" she said and wheeled him out of the gym toward the infirmary.
"Any chance you'd take me to my quarters?" he asked tiredly.
"That is not an option. I am sure Dr. Beckett will be anxiously awaiting your return."
She heard him sigh before his head fell sideways, forcing her to shift his position. He had fallen asleep.
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They were still a few corridors away when Teyla heard somebody shouting, and as they got closer, she recognized the accent.
Carson was screaming at somebody.
Teyla thought about leaving the Colonel here and taking off, but she knew she had to face the anger of the doctor eventually. Either now or later, it wouldn't make much of a difference.
Before she could enter the infirmary, she saw that Elizabeth was the one the doctor was screaming at. She took pity on her – she knew that somebody had had to wheel the Colonel to the gym, and Elizabeth was most likely that somebody.
Upon entering, Carson's attention was immediately shifted from Elizabeth to John, who was still sound asleep.
"Now, look at what ya've done!" he yelled at nobody in particular.
"He fell asleep on the way here, he must be very tired," Teyla explained, hoping that the appearance of an exhausted John would calm the doctor down somewhat.
Fortunately, it worked. Carson knelt down to see if his patient was alright and wheeled him back to his bed without saying another word. He and Teyla lifted John onto his bed and covered him with a blanket.
Carson looked at Teyla angrily. "We're gonna talk later," he hissed and stomped away, making Teyla shudder.
"Is he gone?"
"I thought you were asleep," Teyla chided, looking down at Sheppard's half-open eyes.
"I woke up when you were moving me." The Athosian smiled, realizing that John had just pretended to be asleep to escape the doctor's anger.
"I know yer awake, and ya'll be spending the next two years in here, I can promise ya that!" Carson yelled from the next room over.
John grimaced at that last statement before giving in to exhaustion and allowing his eyes to drift close. Teyla couldn't help but smile.
Everything was back to normal!
THE END
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