Nocturnal Vengeance

By: Wordsworth 13

Rating: K+

Disclaimer: I do not own Hamtaro

Special Thanks: Wolfenheim & cappyandpashy4ever. Neither one of you will be receiving a muffin basket. Sorry!

Chapter 2: Rapid Eye Movement

"So," Boss said "is everyone sure they have no idea what 'without disrupting his internal organs' means?"

"Yup!" Everybody replied simultaneously.

"Okay," Boss said "then does anyone have any ideas to wake him up?"

"How about smelling salts?" Pashmina suggested.

"Smelling salts?" Inquired Oxnard.

"Yeah," Pashmina said nodding "June said something about waking people who've fainted up with smelling salts, they smell really strong!" Boss frowned and put his paw to his chin "I don't think I've got any of those," he said with a hint of disappointment in his voice "but I'll see what I can do!" He came back, brightening up. He marched off into the kitchen, and sounds of bottles and jars being unscrewed and emptied, then everyone heard the sound of breaking glass and Boss yell "Dammit!" He then came back holding a small dish containing what appeared to be a mixture of spices and salt, as if nothing had happened.

"Well," he said "let's get this stir fry boiling!" As he placed the dish beneath Hamtaro's small, pink nose, everyone's favourite orange and white hamster, was strolling through the meadow he'd found himself in, beginning to think there was nothing out here, when suddenly he caught an aroma in the air "Huh?" He said, his nose twitching "What's that smell, hif-hif, hif-hif, smells like… Salt coated gingerbread men in chilli sauce?" He paused, and thought for a moment. "Sounds delicious!" He exclaimed to no-one.

Boss looked down at the dish of spices he'd mixed together. "It's not working." Boss said quietly, then sighed, "Get rid of this for me." He said, handing the bowl to Howdy, "I've got an idea." Howdy said loudly, to a rude extent "Why can't we just hit him?"

"What?" Everyone exclaimed, Dexter the loudest of course,

"That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" He yelled,

"No it ain't, you're just sayin' that 'cause it was my idea!" Howdy screamed back

"No I'm not!"

"Yes you are!"

"I'm not!"

"Are!"

"Not!"

"Are!"

"Quiet!" Screamed boss. Everyone shut up "Does anyone have any better ideas?" No one said anything. "Okay then, we might as well try."

"Erm…" Bijou said quietly, everyone turned to her "Uh, I don't sink hitting him will help anysing."

"Uh…" Boss, said, blushing after being contradicted by the girl of his dreams.

"Whatever, we gotta try!" Howdy yelled. Meanwhile Maxwell turned to the next chapter in his book, losing hope of finding any remedy for Hamtaro, or even a diagnosis.

"Okay," Boss said, holding his shovel, "I'm ready."

"Well, then go ahead!" Howdy obnoxiously yelled, as was his way.

"Okay, here goes!" Boss said, then ran towards Hamtaro, raised his shovel and…

BANG!

Hamtaro glanced from side to side, "I don't think there's anything out here!" He yelled at everything and nothing. But then, in the corner of his eye he saw a tiny grey dot in the distance, it looked like a huge rock, and whereas rocks aren't very interesting, anything was worth investigating in this empty wasteland. He was about to set off for it when he felt a sharp pain on top of his head. He immediately yelped "Ow! Where the hell did that come from!" rubbing his head he resumed his quest, contemplating the possibility of a freak vanishing meteor hitting him on the noggin.

"He's still not awake." Dexter said, pointing out the obvious. Howdy scratched his chin and said "Maybe we just gotta hit him harder."

"What, that's preposterous, this is obviously not working!"

"How do you know, Four-Eyes!"

"Because I do!"

"Oh yeah!"

"Yeah!"

"Shut it!" Boss screamed for the umpteenth time, "Once again, does anyone have a better plan?" Everyone shook their heads "Then we go along with Howdy." Boss said authoritatively, "Hmph!" Dexter said turning around, then tilting his head to glare at Howdy. Maxwell, meanwhile, sighed, he wasn't finding any answers "I know all this stuff already." He said to himself in despair.

"Are you, like, sure?" Sandy said standing in front of the sleeping Hamtaro, glancing at him with a none-too-pleased look. "Yep." Boss said decisively, "You're a gymnast, you'll have the best kick!" She still wasn't entirely sure.

"Well, if you say so…" She raised her foot and Bijou covered her eyes.

Whump!

Out of nowhere Hamtaro was sent flying backwards, and landed on the ground with a thump, "What?" He said in confusion "Another vanishing meteor?" He dusted himself off and decided to think nothing of it, "Ah well," and once again he continued, headed for the rock in the distance. Meanwhile at the clubhouse Sandy looked disappointed "Aww, it didn't work."

"Well, never mind," Boss sighed

"No wait! One more try I'll make it work this time!" Sandy yelled, rearing up her right leg, and once again she kicked him, but not in the chest this time. Panda was staring in astonishment at Hamtaro, then at Sandy. He shook his head "That was just mean." Hamtaro meanwhile had stopped in his tracks once again, with an expression of unimaginable pain on his face. "Ooooooooooooooow!" He whined. "Now, I know that one wasn't a meteor." He waited about two minutes until he got his movement back, then set off hoping whatever was beating him to a pulp didn't have such good aim next time. Meanwhile Sandy's plan hadn't worked, Hamtaro was still sleeping and she was receiving a lecture from Panda about it being plain wrong to hit a boy 'there'.

Maxwell saw a paragraph that caught his eye, yes, he thought, this is the answer, and finished the double page spread to make sure he didn't miss anything. Meanwhile Panda yelled to the other HamHams, "I've got it", pulling out a hamster sized sledge hammer, "Uh, are we sure this is safe?" He asked, walking up to them

"Absolutely." Boss reassured him

"Well, okay…" he said raising the hammer above his head, he was about to bring it down when Maxwell grabbed his arm "Beating the proverbial daylights out of Hamtaro will not cause him to regain consciousness." He calmly chastised Panda. Everyone stared at him in confusion, finally Stan blurted out "What?" Sandy, who, being Maxwell's girlfriend, was accustomed to Maxwell-talk (Or hyper-intelligent-linguistics, either is acceptable.) said "He, like, means smashing Hamtaro's face in won't solve anything."

"See, I was right." Bijou said sharply to everyone except Maxwell.

"Now," Maxwell said, kneeling down, "let's take a look." He pulled one of Hamtaro's eyes open and watched as it darted back and forth. "Just, as I suspected, he's got R.E.M." "R.E.M! I love that band!" Stan yelled out and then began to sing; "I've got my spine, I've got my orange crush!"

"Shut up!" Sandy said sharply, dragging her brother to the back of the crowd with her pink gymnast's ribbon. "I meant he's got rapid eye movement, which means one thing." Maxwell told everyone "What?" They all questioned.

"He's dreaming."

What did ya think? Good, no flames but constructive criticism is accepted, Please review I wrote most of this in one go so I'd appreciate some readers, lots of reviews, please!