Nocturnal Vengeance
By: Wordsworth 13
Rating: K+
Disclaimer: I do not own Hamtaro
Special Thanks: cappyandpashy4ever. Waah! I only got one review, oh well, I guess it's 'cause I published in the middle of the school week.
Chapter 3: Good Night
"So he's dreaming," Stan said, "and that helps us how?"
"I'm not entirely sure, but this knowledge could help us to wake him," Maxwell replied, they were, of course talking about Hamtaro, who had mysteriously fallen asleep, and no-one had been able to wake him up between an attempt using smelling salts and kicking him in his manhood, or hamsterhood, I suppose would be a slightly more fitting term. So in summary I'd say all attempts were painful and unsuccessful, although also a lot of fun.
Meanwhile, sitting on a porcelain throne was a maniacally grinning hamster with gleaming, crescent shaped eyes. "Hmm," he sighed, resting his chin in one of his paws, "I'm bored, there's no escaping it, I'm tired of waiting!" He then looked up and began to smile creepily, "Time to put my plan into motion."
Hamtaro on the other hand, as far as he could tell, was strutting towards a grey dot that he'd spotted a good twenty minutes ago, and was finally closing in. He was also in a good mood because for at least five minutes nothing had tried to kill him. He had no explanation, but he assumed the universe just hated him. He had been feeling random pain, as if people were kicking him and hitting him with shovels, but he was sure he was totally alone. He sighed "I don't even know where I am." Then a though struck him "Oh no! What if I can't find my way home, if I'm not home by 3 o'clock, Laura will get worried about me, I might never get home!" He then screamed for no real reason, which, as with many people, made him feel slightly better.
Back in the clubhouse, our mystery ham was slowly opening the door of Boss' bathroom, and crept out of his room, everyone was gathering around Hamtaro and the as-yet-nameless ham hid under the table, and thought, all I need is a way to give this powder to everyone at the same time, and then he looked up, and a devious smile spread over his face.
"I think we've established Hamtaro won't be awoken by normal means." Maxwell, who was now sat on the floor like everyone else who had crowded around Hamtaro, a group consisting of every ham in the clubhouse, all except of course, one unwanted and undetected guest.
While the group of, frankly, clueless hamsters began thinking and suggesting solutions, the ham-whose-name-must-not-be-spoken-because-we-don't-know-what-it-is-yet began climbing up the ladder on the wall, and walked over to the basket that was fastened to a rope, and used as a means of transportation, and climbed in, he then began to pull the rope, thus moving the basket, bit by bit until he was suspended in mid-air. At that point, on the floor, Bijou was kneeling over Hamtaro with a saddened look on her face, "Oh, Hamtaro," she said worriedly "please wake up." Our devilish mystery ham, was at this point in the basket, and reached into his sack, pulling out another handful of sparkling powder, "Heh, heh," he laughed "pixie dust, hm hm hm…", and sprinkled the whole lot over the Ham-Hams, innocently peering over Hamtaro and wondering if and when he'd awaken. Maxwell noticed the dust falling and looked up, wondering what on earth what appeared to be glitter was falling from the ceiling, and he saw a blurry and familiar shape, and then just closed his eyes.
He awoke in the middle of a dark turquoise field he looked around, all the other Ham Hams were waking up, rubbing their heads, and groaning. "What happened?" He weakly said to everyone and no-one, "Where are we?" Boss asked, being the first one on his feet. "I don't know," Maxwell groaned, still rubbing his head, and slowly getting to his feet. "I don't like zis," Bijou said, quietly trembling, Boss, seeing his chance to get on the cute French hamster's good side, sidled up to her and said "Don't worry Bijou;I'll protect you." Getting no real response.
"Yeah!" Howdy said in a voice at least twice as loud as a normal inside voice, but out here one can guess inside voices didn't matter "Where the heck are we, and how the hell'd we get here!"
"I'd say your guess is as good as mine but I'd be insulting myself," Howdy said, never missing a chance to zing Howdy.
"Guys, guys," Boss said "does anybody have any idea where we are or how we got here?" Everyone shook their heads, he turned to Maxwell hopefully
"Uh, I think I remember something like falling asleep. Oh! And glitter falling from the ceiling!" The tall, brown and white hamster said, shrugging.
"Maybe we're dead!" Howdy said, further demonstrating his stupidity, enforcing the message made by his 'let's beat the crap out of Hamtaro' idea, "This could be heaven!" "If this is heaven then where are the sunflowers?" Oxnard asked, pointing out by the lack of delicious seedy goodness this was obviously not heaven. "Well maybe it's hell then!" Howdy yelled "Why would we go to hell?" Boss asked Howdy shrugged.
"Casual swearing?"
Bijou meanwhile was looking the opposite direction of the other Ham Hams, "Guys," she said to them all "I sink I see somesing."
"Huh?" most of them said, all of them turning around,
"I, I sink it's a cave."
"A cave?" the same 'most people' asked.
"Oui!"
Everyone agreed that going to the cave, what was probably a stable and reliable shelter, was a good ides, and Boss, always a ham to step straight into the limelight, ran straight to the front of the group and yelled "Follow me guys!"
"But Boss!" Bijou cut in "You are going ze wrong way." Boss began to sweat anime style "Uh…uh, yeah I knew that! I was just, just testing you, that's all. And you passed congratulations, heh, heh-heh, heh…" No-one was convinced. Boss just began to walk off, in the right direction this time, thank God, and the not ramshackle, but still nowhere near shining rank of innocent hamsters began to follow him. Eventually, after a long walk that, a thought that occurred to both Dexter and Maxwell, should have been tiring but wasn't they arrived at the cave and decided to enter, it being perhaps a more ideal place to construct a plan of action than in the middle of an odd looking meadow that looked more like a painting than reality. But what they found inside was not what they had been expecting, except Maxwell, who had kind of expected to see him eventually, then Maxwell though, 'like falling asleep', hmm.
"H-hi guys." Hamtaro said weakly, there was a small trickle of blood running down from his mouth and there were tears welling up in his eyes. His fur was bedraggled and he was covered in bruises. "Hamtaro, what 'appened to you?" Bijou gasped in shock "I dunno," he said, shrugging and smiling, making it seem like his extensive injuries were nothing "somethin' invisible kept hitting me, at first I thought it was vanishing meteors, but their aim isn't that good." He laughed like everything he'd been through was a funny joke, it wasn't from his point of view, but admittedly it would have taken pride of place in a home video blooper show.
"C'mon, let's get you up," Maxwell said, helping Hamtaro to his feet.
"Having fun Ham Hams?" Came a sinister and familiar voice. Everyone trotted outside to see a mischievously grinning hamster with half moon eyes who was wearing a devil costume that made him look like a kid on a low budget on Halloween. "Hey, I remember you, what was your name again…?" Maxwell said, looking up and snapping his fingers in hope of remembering. The literally devilish ham fell over anime style "Sp…Sp…" Maxwell said "Yes, yes." The mysterious figure that was in plain sight said, encouraging Maxwell "Spit!" Maxwell finally said. The mystery-ham's jaw dropped anime style and his eyes became scribbly in annoyance. "What?" He screamed at Maxwell "No my name is not Spit!"
"Wait! Wait! I know! It's uh… Tiff!" Sandy declared
"Tiff?" The horned hamster said, in utter disbelief that after all the trouble they'd caused each other the Ham Hams couldn't even remember his name! "It's something beginning with S." Stan said in an almost-certain-but-not-quite-sure voice.
"Salisbury?" Hamtaro
"No!" Screamed a now very agitated villain "My name is Spat! S P A T! Spat!" Everyone paused, eventually Stan blurted out, him always being one to break a silence with an idiotic comment; "Well that's a stupid name!" A look of shock, and then of disdain came over Hamtaro's face.
"Oh, yeah now I remember you, you're that jerk who kept spreading mean rumours about us!"
"Finally some recognition!" Spat yelled "Yeah, that's right Rusty, it's me!" At that point the only thought running through Hamtaro's head was; Rusty? Who the hell is Rusty? "Don't call 'Amtaro names!" Bijou screamed at Spat "Shut up Frenchie!" He screamed back. "Hey! Don't call her that!" Boss and Stan screamed in perfect unison, as if they'd been rehearsing for it or something. "Oh," Spat said quietly "it's the fathead and the perv! Sorry, but I don't have time to chat." He said, and snapped his fingers. Suddenly a hole appeared beneath the Ham Hams and they began to fall. Hamtaro awoke and looked around, he was in a vast empty desert, Bijou laid next to him, still unconscious. And all he could say was: "Ah crap! Not again!"
Good eh, by the way I'm accepting flames now, but don't be too mean or I'll send you a muffin basket. An exploding muffin basket that is! Mwahahahahahah!