Nocturnal Vengeance
By: Wordsworth 13
Rating: K+
Disclaimer: I do not own Hamtaro
Special Thanks: Ringa ham, cappyandpashy4ever, MST3K Forever and sparkleshine101! Thanks for all your reviews; I will now consider not putting sulphuric acid in your muffins.
Chapter 4: The Desert of Dreams
Maxwell slowly opened his eyes, everything was blurry. "Muh, neh, wassappnen'?" He slowly said in a drowsy tone. He blinked and looked around, he was in the middle of a huge desert, thankfully however, he was not alone. Stan was groaning on the floor and Oxnard was already up "Oh, Maxwell you're awake?" He said, then suddenly burst out "Oh my God! I'm sorry! I was staring at you and it's not polite to stare!"
"It's okay, it's okay!" Maxwell said, trying to calm him down, and thinking; whoa, this guy has issues! Stan groaned and pulled himself to his feet, "wha, what happened?" Maxwell put a paw to his chin "Well-" he began but was cut off by a loud and extremely strange sound. Like a crow cawing. Maxwell looked up, and then wished that he hadn't, above him was a giant crow, by hamster standards of course, it was about the size of a dustbin. So to Stan, Maxwell and Oxnard, it was bloody huge!
"Run!" Stan screamed, as he began pegging it, and was followed by a hamster with too big a brain, and another hamster with too big a stomach. After a short while of running and screaming and generally looking like complete twats, Maxwell spotted a hole and ran to the front of the group, and jumped down it, the others followed. The crow seeing this put its black beak in the hole and started scratching around. Maxwell yelped and everyone scooted up to the sides after a few seconds and a couple of deft pecks the bird gave up.
"What," Stan managed to say, gasping for breath, "the hell, is going, on." He breathed in a huge breath, let it out and stopped gasping. Once again Maxwell put his paw to his chin, Stan decided he was going to say something boring and put on a face like he was listening and began running through chat up lines in his head, that and how girls were supposed to react to them, and not, of course, the way they actually would. "Well," Maxwell began "judging by the fact that Hamtaro's here to I'd have to say that we're in some kind of dream,"
"Yeah, yeah, we know that part!" Stan blurted out rudely
"And that Splut's controlling it somehow!"
"His name wasn't Splut it was Sprat!"
"Whatever!" Maxwell said as he began to clamber out of the hole, "We need to wake up, but I don't know how. External methods aren't helping, not that we can use them anymore."
"What are external methods?" Oxnard asked, his limited vocabulary being a major downfall in the mess of boredom and complicated words that was standing next to Maxwell for more than five seconds. "External methods are ways we try to wake people up, like pouring water over their heads. But we're gonna have to wake our selves up from inside the dream, but I don't have any idea how." After a few seconds of bemused staring, thankfully without him screaming something about impoliteness, Oxnard snapped his fingers and said "Pouring water over his head! Why didn't I think of that?" Maxwell sighed, I'm wasting my time, he thought.
Stan slowly struggled out of the hole as Maxwell continued his train of thought, after a few seconds of clicking and whirring in his logical brain, Maxwell opened his eyes "That's it!" He said to himself, though in an excited voice that everyone could hear.
"What is it?" Stan asked
"Have you ever noticed that in dreams, you always wake up just before you die?"
"Mm-hmm," Stan said quietly, but he was facing away from Maxwell, with his paw over his forehead. "Well" Maxwell continued "I think, if we die in this dream, we'll wake up just before we do!"
"Oh," Stan said as if he wasn't interested "then I suppose that cannonball flying towards us is nothing to worry about."
"What?" Maxwell screamed pushing Stan out of the way, as the cannonball just kept flying into the distance. "What?" Stan said in confusion "When we start out, dying's bad like always, but then suddenly dying's good, but now for no reason, dying's bad again!" "The idea's no good if the only ones who know about it aren't in the dream anymore!" Maxwell yelled, "I think Sput's onto us!"
"Very good," came a familiar and unwanted voice "but my name isn't Sput!"
Meanwhile Sandy, Pashmina and Penelope were sat in a circle "Like, does anyone have any idea what just happened?" Sandy asked. Pashmina and Penelope shook their heads. "Like, any idea where we are?" Once again, the two shook their heads "Any idea what we should do?" More shaking of heads commenced. Sandy sighed.
"Aaah!" Maxwell screamed "It's Splort!
"My name isn't Splort either!" Spat, hissed through gritted teeth
"Spartan?" Maxwell guessed
"Splorge?" Oxnard hazarded
"Rebecca?" Stan asked completely randomly. Spat had a bulging vein on his forehead and was tapping his foot, "No," he said calmly "My name is Spat! Spat! Spat! Spat! Damn you!"
"So," Stan said slowly "not Rebecca then?" Spat screamed in frustration.
"Look!" He said "Let's get back to the point, yes I'm on to you, I know you know my plan, so, I'll just have to send you away from here, somewhere outside of my little Desert of Dreams."
"How did you get us here?" Maxwell demanded
"Ah, that would be the dream dust." Spat said, as if he had any idea how it worked. "Now, back to the banishing you to the land of wind and ghosts!"
"That doesn't sound good!" Stan said fearfully. Black lightning began to appear in Spat's hands. Stan and Maxwell, just stood, frozen in fear, their hair standing on end, when out of nowhere, a rock hit Spat on the head and he vanished in a puff of purple smoke. Oxnard stood where Spat had just been, the small brown stone clutched in his paws. "All right Oxnard!" Maxwell exclaimed
"Nice goin' Oxy" Stan congratulated him.
"Okay, now we can tell the others how to get out of the dream! The only problem is; how?"
"What about that?" Oxnard said, pointing to a small phone booth.
"What?" Maxwell shouted "Why is there a pay phone out here in the desert?"
"Who cares?" Stan yelled "My ham Oxy's on a roll today!" The three ran to the booth. Maxwell looked inside, it had a rather plaintive metal phone, what was odd however, was that there were twenty six keys, each with a bold capital letter printed on it. The only way it was different to a normal pay phone was that it was hamster sized and that the coin slot was shaped like a sunflower seed. "Aw, we need a sunflower seed to operate the phone." Maxwell whined in disappointment. "I could sure go for a sunflower seed right now." Oxnard said, rubbing his stomach. At that moment, out of the blue a sunflower appeared in his paws in a plume of violet smoke. "Thank you," Maxwell said, taking it out of Oxnard's hands and slotting it into the machine, causing Oxnard's face to become a portrait of displeasure and hunger.
"Hmm," Maxwell looked at the odd keyboard on the silver panel "if anyone can help us it's Hamtaro!" He began dialling "H-A-M-T-A-R-O, and ring!" Maxwell put his ear to the receiver.
Bijou rubbed her eyes as she sat up on the fine, soft yellow sand. Hamtaro was already up next to her, looking around. Apart from the cool breeze and the distant, chocolate coloured mountains they were completely alone. "Uh, 'Amtaro?" she said "Yeah?"
"Why is zere a phone box in ze middle of ze desert?" She pointed behind Hamtaro. "What are you talking about?" He asked turning around, behind him, there was a shiny metal phone booth. "Wha?" He said. As random as the phone had actually been there it began ringing. He picked up the receiver "H-hello?"
"Hamtaro?" A voice said
"Maxwell?"
"Yeah?"
"What is it? How are you calling this phone?"
"I have no idea how I'm calling, but I think I've found a way to get out of this dream!"
"Dream?"
"Yeah, now listen carefully!"
Sandy, Pashmina and Penelope meanwhile, were walking, deciding it was better than sitting still, and back where Maxwell was on the phone, bored.
"Are you sure it'll work, is there anything else that might happen?"
"Well, either we'll just reappear somewhere else in the dream or…"
"Or what?"
"We'll die for real."
"What?"
"Don't worry there's only a five percent chance of that happening!"
"Well, if you say so."
Then Hamtaro heard Bijou's voice "Sandy, Pashmina, Penelope!"
"Bye." Hamtaro said, hanging up. He turned around and saw the four girl-hams. "Hey guys, Maxwell's got a plan!"
"Yeah, I knew my Maxy'd come up with something!"
"Yeah!" Hamtaro replied "All we gotta do to escape from here, here's a dream by the way, is die!"
"Huh?"
"Yeah that's what he said."
Maxwell put the phone down. "Did ya tell 'em?" Stan inquired
"Yeah, the rest's up to Hamtaro now. But I'm sure he can do it!" Maxwell replied
"Yeah," Oxnard said, nodding.
"Hey, what's that?" Stan asked, pointing to the group's right. "That black dot!"
"It looks like that cannonball I pushed you out of the way of." Maxwell said in awe "But that means it would have circled the entire world, dream world I mean, without losing any momen-" He was cut off when the ball hit him, he being absent minded enough not to step out of the way. He vanished in a puff of amethyst smoke. "Where'd he go?" Stan asked.
Hooray! I'm finally done! This could be my longest chapter ever! Sorry it took so long! Hope you enjoyed it! Please read and review, I want lot's of names to put on my 'Special Thanks' list!