***** I do not own Avatar or any of its characters
Confusion - (This takes place after the Ember Island Players Episode in Season 3)
He had spent the entire day training firebending with more intensity than Zuko himself expected. It seemed to Zuko that Aang was blowing off steam, and he had the idea that it had something to do with that stupid play. Either way, he wasn't complaining; Aang needed to show intensity, he needed to show hunger, he needed the drive to stop the Firelord as Zuko knew first-hand just how ruthless and unforgiving his father could be. Zuko felt it his responsibility to fully arm Aang with every weapon and tactic regarding firebending he knew of, for he was sending a thirteen-year-old kid to face his oppressor. The same man who had taken thousands of lives. The same murderer who took his mother from him. The same monster who duelled his own son. The same devil who scarred a boy when he denied fighting his own father. Zuko was now sending a thirteen-year-old kid to face that same monster, it didn't matter whether that 'kid' was the most powerful being in the universe, for at the end of the day, he was still a kid – just like Zuko himself was when he first faced his father. So, he felt it necessary to teach Aang everything he knew, and Aang now seemed more than willing to comply with Zuko's intense and tough training camp.
Originally, he had an idea that Aang's sudden urgency to firebend had something to do with that moronic play. However, upon sensing the distance between Katara and Aang throughout the day, he figured it may have had something to do between them as well. But, for now, he had to focus on Aang's firebending lessons – rather than discussing the melodramatic tendencies of young love.
As the day came to an end, so did Aang's training. Deciding that he needed relax and calm his mind for a while, Aang thought to take a stroll along one of the beaches on Ember Island. So, he excused himself from dinner and made his way to the beach. However, once he got there, he felt himself unable to allow his worries to flow away as the gentle yet clashing waves reminded him of a certain 'confused' waterbender. Aang knew that Katara was only trying to set his priorities straight when she told him they couldn't yet be together due to the war. He accepted that for a fact as she spoke nothing but the truth, however, what actually stung him was the idea that Katara herself seemed 'unsure' of her feelings towards Aang. The sole reason he kissed her during the Invasion was because he didn't want her to not know how he felt about her in the case he didn't return from the pending battle, and so, he felt relieved that she felt the same way when she kissed him back on that submarine. Yet, now she said she was confused, and he didn't know what to think.
Realising that walking wouldn't do him much, Aang decided to gather some firewood and start a campfire by the beach. Using his heightened firebending to light the fire, Aang sandbended a short log which he laid his back against as he stared into the fire before turning his attention to the moon.
Although he wouldn't admit it, the play had certainly gotten to him; the idea of Katara and Zuko 'liking' each other was planted in his brain and Katara's sudden confusion only seemed to strengthen the doubt. In his heart, he knew that Katara loved him – he felt it; the way she kissed him back, the way she continuously ran her fingers though his hair to comfort him, the way she smiled for him and him only, the way she kissed his cheek affectionately as if to hint to him of her developing feelings. Deep down, he recognised that there was something between them, call it tension, call it love, call it whatever you want – but there definitely wasn't some sisterly love there. As far as he knew, a 'sister' wouldn't suggest kissing their 'brother' as an idea to escape a cave. A 'sister' wouldn't openly and affectionately kiss their 'brother' on the cheek while blushing madly after a heated dance session. And they certainly wouldn't lose themselves in a liplock – if they were normal, which Aang and Katara were.
So, even after all the logical reasoning which clearly suggested that Katara certainly had romantic feelings for him that weren't 'sisterly' or 'motherly', why did Aang allow a stupid play and a few words from the waterbender to dampen his mood so much so that he felt entirely miserable?
"Can you help me out here Yue?" Aang called out as he felt the glistening gaze of the beautiful spirit shining down on him. "Now I'm the one who's confused." Aang admitted while sighing in defeat.
Despite wanting to be alone, a couple seconds later, Aang felt somewhat relieved when Sokka, Suki, Katara and Zuko approached him, taking their seats by the benches Aang had sandbended for them. Suki and Sokka sat to Aang's left while Zuko sat further away to Sokka's left. Surprisingly, despite their recent tension, Katara sat fairly close to Aang, leaning on the sandbended-bench to his right.
"So, who were you talking to?" Sokka asked when he turned to his best friend.
"Myself." Aang truthfully answered, not wanting to drag this out.
Sokka and Katara raised an eyebrow to this as they had never seen Aang be so forward before; as usually he'd try to dodge and evade questions like the airbender he was.
"Why?", Sokka continued his line of questioning, his curiosity spiking.
Aang sighed in annoyance as he allowed his frustration and confusion to flow away with the wind for once, "Sometimes... you just need time to think to yourself Sokka. It helps when you're trying to find a way to defeat a megalomaniac without killing him..." Aang answered, somewhat truthfully. Not wanting to admit to the warrior what he was mostly worried about.
Sokka opened his mouth to object but soon closed it as he understood that Aang's response was more than reasonable. Sensing the growing tension between them, Suki quickly changed the topic in an attempt to lighten the mood.
"So, what are you going to do after the war Aang? Made any plans?"
"Isn't it a little too early to be thinking about that?" Zuko frankly stated. He was going to continue but was shut down when he noticed the Kyoshi Warrior and Master Waterbender glaring at him.
Sensing the disapproving glares from the girls, Aang chuckled at Zuko's frightened expression and responded truthfully again, "I'll probably just focus on helping the nations regain stability. This war has caused much damage to all nations and I'll have to help rebuild them if I am to truly bring balance to the world." Aang specifically left out the anything regarding his friends and Katara as he was unsure whether they'd want to accompany him on his journey, so he opted it better to not assume anything. However, as he thought about it more, he smiled when he remembered there was something he had wanted to do from the very moment he discovered his destroyed home, "And I'll also rebuild the Air Temples, starting with the Southern Air Temple. I can't bring my people back but... I can at least try to preserve their memory and rebuild our once peaceful nation."
Upon hearing this, Zuko dipped his head in shame as he frowned, remembering that his family were the ones responsible for the destruction of the Air Nomads - and even though he personally had nothing to do with it, he still felt some form of guilt and shame from even being remotely connected to it. Aang however, noticed Zuko's frown and airbent a gentle breeze his way, causing the firebender to look at the airbender. Once he gained Zuko's attention, Aang simply smiled with sincerity while nodding for a short while – silently communicating to his firebending master that it wasn't his fault and shouldn't dampen his mood even more so because of it. The moody teenager, somehow understood the unspoken sincere message his pupil was trying to convey and sweetly smiled back, nodding in response. Unbeknownst to them, Katara had also noticed the silent gesture from the airbender and grinned to herself, feeling satisfied that despite being hurt, Aang was still the same compassionate and caring person she'd always known him to be.
Feeling somewhat interested by notion of a 'rebuilt Air Nation', the Kyoshi Warrior opted to continue the conversation, "And you're thinking about having children, right?"
The Avatar shot Suki a confused look, to which she elaborated in response, "I mean, you're going to have to repopulate the Air Nation to properly rebuild it. So, you must have thought about having children..."
"No, I didn't really think about that.." Aang trailed off, not knowing what a proper response would be. Soon, he just settled on a simple statement, "I'll cross that bridge later."
Unbeknownst to any of them, a certain waterbender was currently blushing a mad hue of pink and red while thinking about the prospect of having children with Aang. Despite stating that she was 'confused', Katara herself knew deep down that she loved Aang. That night on Ember Island, during the play, she had said what she said merely to set Aang's priorities straight; she couldn't have him worrying and thinking about her when he should be preparing for the Firelord – for if he hurt himself during his battle simply because he was worried about her, she would never forgive herself. So, Katara did what she had to do - it killed her to do it, but it had to be done. Yet, she still couldn't keep these thoughts away, she wanted nothing more than to live a life with the boy she loved – but for now, she would have to wait untill after the war was over.
"Hey, from what I've seen, Aang will have no problem in that department. I mean he had girls chasing after him at Kyoshi Island. Not to mention that On Ji girl – she was crushing on him so hard, as were all the other girls from that Fire Nation school." Sokka stated excitedly – not noticing his sister's growing jealousy in the form of a death glare.
"What Fire Nation school?" Zuko questioned, to which Suki nodded, sharing his confusion.
"Oh, well – when we were hiding in the Fire Nation a couple weeks ago, I accidently got placed into a school." Aang replied after realising that neither Zuko nor Suki were with them at the time. "After witnessing how miserable those kids were, I decided to throw them a little dance party-"
"You should've seen it Suki!" Sokka again interjected excitedly, cutting Aang off - not that he minded. "Aang was on a roll, he was moving like he had no bones in his body and he managed to get all those other kids to loosen up for once. Not to mention he had all those girls drooling over him..." Noticing the how uncomfortable his sister was, Sokka thought to risk it and go in for the kill, "especially Katara."
Katara's eyes suddenly widened and her face reddened as she pressed her hands against her face, desperately trying to hide the blush on her face. Noticing her reaction, Sokka, Suki, Aang and Zuko smirked in response, clearly amused by embarrassing the waterbender beside them.
Deciding to have some mercy on her friend, Suki again changed the topic back to Aang, "Have you really never thought about it?"
Aang simply shook his head in denial.
"Cmon, you must have thought about it at least once." Zuko interjected, while Sokka followed up with a question of his own. "Have you ever had a crush on a girl?"
Aang and Katara's eyes widened in response, knowing full well that if Aang told the truth, they would have to spend the rest of their lives being tortured by Sokka and Toph's teasing.
"I – umm..." Aang began, not knowing how to answer. Although Toph wasn't currently present, which meant that he could lie and not get caught, he still felt it necessary to be open and truthful – as that was how the monks raised him. "Yes."
Katara and everyone else's eyes shot open, thinking that Aang was actually going to acknowledge his crush on Katara.
No, Aang. Don't do this. Not now. This isn't the right time... Katara begged internally.
"She was from the Western Air Temple..." Aang responded, causing the group to jerk their heads in his direction. Not expecting this response, Sokka, Suki and Zuko began leaning forward subconsciously, now growing interested in this revelation while Katara found herself fighting her thoughts.
No. No. No. Aang please. Say its not true. Please...
"I was introduced to her through Kuzon; he visited the Air Temple regularly and soon we became... close." Aang elaborated. Remembering his previous crush, Aang leaned further back on the log and set his gaze onto the Moon Spirit, "Her name was Tenshi, she was an airbending prodigy like me, she even beat me in sparring a couple times."
Aang chuckled at the memory, subconsciously smiling while reminiscing. Sokka, Suki and even Zuko also began smiling in response, becoming aware if the fact that Aang truly liked this girl and that he wasn't just lying or overexaggerating. Katara however, was sulking after realising that Aang was once truly happy with this girl – also, she couldn't help but think that this was the worst time to bring any of this up, considering how complicated her and Aang's relationship was now.
"She was really nice too... and really pretty."
"Have you had your first kiss yet?" Sokka asked out of the blue, catching Aang off-guard. But, before he could answer, Sokka cut him off, "Mine was Yue..." He stated while joining Aang in staring at the beauty of the Moon Spirit.
"What about you Suki?" Sokka suddenly asked his girlfriend, now intrigued by the notion he had brought up.
"Ummm..." Suki began reluctantly, unsure if she actually wanted to reveal this specific piece of information to the group. "You know that guy who foamed when you guys visited Kyoshi Island..."
"WHAT!?" Sokka screamed hysterically.
"Hey!" Suki cut him off before he could protest – and to also explain herself, "I was 14 and I was desperate. So just drop it!"
Sighing in defeat, Sokka turned his attention to Zuko, setting his gaze on the firebender as he was silently asking him the same question. Noticing this, Zuko rolled his eyes and sighed in annoyance before answering dryly, "My girlfriend, Mai - obviously..." However, upon remembering what he had done previously to join team Avatar, Zuko decided to elaborate some more as he replied sadly, "Well, ex-girlfriend now... I just hope it doesn't stay that way after the war."
Accepting his answer, Sokka now turned his attention to his sister. Although he had an idea of who Katara's first kiss was, he was hoping that it was a certain airbender rather than a former freedom fighter.
Sighing in annoyance similar to Zuko, Katara reluctantly answered, "Jet..." As soon as she answered, Katara dipped her head and frowned, regretting how she allowed Jet to smooth-talk her which led to his betrayal and bitter death.
Sokka noticed Aang frown upon hearing Katara's answer while he visibly cringed himself. He himself felt that something happened between Aang and Katara in the Cave of Two Lovers while he was stuck with those hippies. Judging from the way they were blushing the entire day, he knew that they either kissed or engaged in a rather intimate activity. However, now he felt sorry for his sister as he knew that Katara herself regretted ever trusting Jet and mistrusting her brother, so, he opted to turn to the one person whom he originally questioned.
"What about you Aang?"
Coming out of his trance regarding Jet and Katara, Aang blushed at the memory while Katara also reddened. While they both were recalling a memory, unbeknownst to them, they were in fact reminiscing on two completely different memories... and Katara was about to return to her state of sulking shortly.
"Tenshi..." Aang answered while smiling, a pink hue still covering his cheeks. "She was my first kiss."
Katara was now frowning completely, although she wished she could take back everything that happened with Jet, she at least figured that – if she wasn't his first crush – she would at least be his first kiss. However, even that notion was now proved wrong, and Katara couldn't feel more regretful and saddened.
"It was great when it happened... I was truly happy." Aang replied dreamily, his gaze still set on the Moon, thus not allowing him to realise that his words and joyful tone was stabbing the waterbender's heart.
"So, she kissed you-"
"Actually, I kissed her." Aang corrected Sokka, which left him astounded and impressed. "And well, she kissed me back. But it was a long time ago – and I'm over her now."
"Damn, you actually have some balls Aang. I'm proud of you", Sokka cheered while patting his best friend's back.
"Who knew a monk could be so assertive..." Suki added, smirking at the young airbender, causing him to blush in embarrassment.
As the group of friends laughed it off and took the conversation elsewhere, they soon grew tired and opted to sleep, knowing that they had to wake up earlier tomorrow to go scouting. After Suki and Sokka left, Katara reluctantly got up and said her 'goodnights' to Zuko and Aang, leaving the two teenagers to gaze into the campfire while they sat in comfortable silence.
Zuko didn't know when his relationship with Aang changed, but he was much more comfortable with the young Avatar now, and seeing how Aang was always open to starting a friendship with Zuko, he felt himself becoming more like an older brother for the young teenager as each day passed. Recognising the growing tension between Aang and Katara, Zuko finally understood why Aang was so intense in his firebending training earlier and why he seemed to be blowing off steam. And although he knew it wasn't his place to assume anything, he felt it his responsibility to console Aang and try to understand him when no one else would.
"Don't make the mistake I did."
"What?" Aang asked in confusion, wondering what his friend was alluding to.
"I said, don't make the same mistake I did." Noticing the young airbender raising his eyebrow in confusion, the firebender decided to elaborate. "Don't push her away. She cares for you, and no matter what happened or happens between you two, I can sense that she'll always deeply care for you..." Feeling the regret of breaking up with and leaving Mai behind pulling at his heart strings again, Zuko fought back a couple tears as he sighed and exhaled smoke, physically trying to contain his anger and frustration. "So, don't make the same mistake I did."
"I'm not...", the younger replied, "I'm not pushing her away. I'm just giving her the space she needs. That's all."
"It doesn't seem like it..." Zuko trailed off.
"Why do you care about it anyways?" Aang questioned, rather harshly.
"I'm just..." Zuko exhaled a breath he didn't know he was holding before replying "I'm just looking out for you. I don't want you to lose the person you love like I did."
Aang now blushed in embarrassment, shifted uncomfortably and began stuttering while trying to deny the obvious reality, "W-What – I, I d-don't l-love her..."
"Cut the shit, Aang", Zuko interrupted. "It's pretty obvious you're head over heals for her, so don't try to deny it."
Sighing in defeat, Aang decided to nod in acceptance to Zuko's statement before responding, "It doesn't matter anyways... she doesn't feel the same." Aang, upon taking a glance at his firebending master, saw his raised eyebrow and decided to elaborate – much to his dismay. "I'm pretty sure she likes you..."
Zuko took a moment to take in exactly what Aang had just said before he genuinely laughed at his confused statement, "And..." he spoke in between his laughter, "And where exactly... did you get that idea?"
"Well, in the play-"
"Oh Agni..." Zuko cut Aang off again, physically and mentally stunned by the teenager's obliviousness. "Are you really gonna believe a stupid propaganda play over something real that's staring you right in the face?"
"What do you mean?" Aang questioned back, not knowing the answer to Zuko's question or what he meant by it.
"Didn't you see how madly she was blushing when Sokka was talking about you and her dancing?"
"I just thought she was embarrassed, not that she actually cared for the fact", Aang replied flatly, shrugging off the idea that Katara could've possibly liked it and wasn't just embarrassed due to her brother's remark.
"Well..." Zuko continued, not knowing why he was so adamant on helping Aang figure this out, yet still going for it. "Didn't you notice how sad she looked when you were talking about Tenshi?" Aang simply shook his head in denial while Zuko got up from his seat and moved closer to the airbender. Now leaning against the same log as him, Zuko sat beside the young teenager as he continued, "Aang, she was basically sulking in sadness. Just the idea of you liking a girl other than her – even though it was hundred years ago – made her upset."
"I didn't mean to make her upset..." Aang remarked remorsefully. Even though he was hurt by what Katara did, he never wanted to intentionally hurt her. No, that was the last thing he wanted. How could he hurt someone who he was so deeply in love with?
Nodding in agreement, Zuko decided to continue, "Now, do you think she would be so upset about the concept of you liking another girl if she didn't have feelings for you herself?"
Aang's eyes widened in realisation as he took everything in, "Oh monkey feathers! I'm so stupid!" Aang facepalmed himself as he marvelled at his own obliviousness. Katara was displaying her dismay, she was sitting right beside him, showing him how much it pained her to know that Aang cared for a girl other than her; cared for them the same way he confessed he cared for her. She was sitting right beside him, blushing when Sokka mentioned how entranced she was by Aang during that dance party - and he simply shrugged it off as her being embarassed instead of for what it truly was; a display of her infactuation and affection for the airbender. Yes, now he felt truly stupid.
"Look... just, don't give up on her... that's all I'm saying." Zuko stated, pulling Aang away from his thoughts.
Sighing in relief at the thought of Katara liking him back, Aang turned to face his friend and smiled genuinely, "Thanks, Zuko. I appreciate it."
Zuko simply smiled while nodding back in agreement. Soon, they both set their gaze onto the Moon once again and a comfortable silence fell upon them. However, not long after, Zuko's curiosity once again peaked as he wondered what actually caused Aang and Katara to grow somewhat distant.
"If you don't mind, what actually made you think that Katara 'liked' me? Because, as far as I know, she hated me just a couple days ago, we just now became friends, she has never liked the idea of being paired up with me and nor I with her, and... honestly..." Zuko trailed off for a second as he tried to word his next sentence carefully, "You don't catch feelings for someone who's chased and terrorised you and your friends for half a year, after just a couple days of becoming friends. That seems... completely unnatural and... just absurd."
Aang sighed once he remembered what exactly caused him to doubt Katara in the first place. With the memory of the play still fresh within his mind, Aang decided to explain himself, "Well, during the play, your and Katara's characters were quite... close. And after the mid-point, when Katara came to talk to me, we kind of had an argument and she sort of... said something that stung." Changing his gaze from the Moon to the firebender beside him, Aang noticed Zuko's curiosity continuing to grow, and so he knew he'd have to be more specific shortly after.
"Well, what'd she say?"
While fiddling with his fingers and rubbing the back of his neck, Aang answered nervously, "I kind of... confessed my feelings for her, and she... she said that she was 'confused'."
While physically and mentally cringing at Katara's poor choice of words – as Zuko himself knew that Katara knew she wasn't confused, instead she was merely scared of losing Aang so she denied her feelings for him – the firebender leaned in and placed a comforting hand on Aang's left shoulder, gripping it firmly. Once Aang turned to face him again, Zuko responded awkwardly:
"That's rough buddy."
Staring into the other's eyes in amazement, surprise, and confusion, the two soon erupted in laughter as they continued to talk about what they would do after the war. With the renewed faith that Katara did in fact care for him the same way he did her, the young Avatar found his drive to save the world return with a vengeance. He would now defeat the Firelord for Katara and his friends, and after everything was settled, he would wait for her to find her way back to him, for she was worth waiting for. And as he sat by the campfire, discussing future plans with his friend, Aang finally felt thankful to have an older brother like Zuko to vent to.