Happy Birthday to Me?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIZAAN! (17 August)

AN: I do not own Card Captor Sakura

Chapter 9

Sakura's P.O.V.

I didn't want him to know.

I didn't want him to know.

I clutched my legs close to my body as I cried under the jungle gym. The wind was cold whenever it touched my skin and my body was aching from all the crying. I didn't want to go back to them… to him. I really didn't.

Every time I think I have it all figured out I find myself hanging by my feet swinging to and throw and making me confused all over again. And then those bastards, confusion and uncertainty, comes drifting by on my sneakers pointing and laughing.

All I want to do is take each one of them by the throat and drown them as I strangle them with my bare hands. Laugh at me will you? Laugh at a Kinomoto and pay the price. I'll take confusion and wring his neck until he turns blue in the face and then I'll dunk his head in my blood and drown him until he is dead. And then I'll repeat he process with uncertainty and I'll burry their bodies in the deepest most remote forest possible so that no one will ever find them.

Yeah! That's what I'll do. I'll burry their bodies in the deepest grave known to man kind and let them rot there. I'll leave them to rot and I'll take my sneakers back and point my finger at their unmarked graves and laugh. I'll laugh long and hard. I'll laugh until my eyes start to tear and my body aches form all the laughter.

And then? Then I'll put on my sneaker and proudly walk back to our apartment. I will great Li and give him a kiss on the cheek and tell him that he has to wait while I prepare dinner. Then we will eat and talk about all kinds of interesting things and he'll smile at me. We will watch television for a while and then we will go to bed. And I will ask him…

I will ask him if I can sleep with him, because I like having him close to me. I like feeling his chest rise and fall and I like listening to his loud, heavy heart beat as he sleeps. I like watching him sleep silently and I like having his arms wrapped around me when he does.

I opened my eyes and watched white lightning fork across the angry sky. The heavy clouds complained loudly as they bumped against each other and slowly, one by one, they let their sorrows fall to the earth.

The rain felt pleasant and cold against my skin. Slowly I got up form my hiding place and let my face turn to the angry sky. The clouds took my invitation and let their full load fall down on me and the warm earth, soaking me from head to toe. Inside me I could feel my heart rumble with the thunder, but it felt warm and certain. Something I haven't felt in a long time.

I opened my eyes and smiled as another flash of lightning forked across the sky. I finally knew. I finally knew what to do with him… What to do with myself. And I am going to try my utmost best to do everything within my power to make it work, just like him. I am going to give it my best.

I smiled at the sky yelling at me. "Do you hear me! I'm going to try! I am going to try my best! And there it nothing you can do about it!" The dark sky answered in a loud disapproving tone and I grinned at it. "You can't do anything to stop me!" I took a deep breath, ready to scream the one thing I have just learned about myself. "BECAUSE I LOVE XIAO-LANG LI!"

Syaoran's P.O.V.

I sat with my hands in my hair as I listened to my mother, sisters and bothers-in-law talk in hushed voices. I was worried. I was worried sick to say the least. She had run and I couldn't catch up with her. She ran from me. And I couldn't find her. I looked for four hours, calling her name and knocking on doors and I couldn't find her.

This is all my fault. I should have kept my mouth shut; I shouldn't have talked to her. Then she still would have been here, then I would know she is safe.

I watched water drip from my hair onto my wet pants. I had started raining more than an hour ago and I had to give up my search. I felt weak being unable to battle the storm to find the girl. I need her back here with me. I need her in my arms, to comfort her and tell her that everything is alright.

I called Tomoyo only a few moments ago and asked her to come over as soon as possible. Maybe her friend will be able to help her, because I only seem to make things worse. She had agreed and told me not to worry. That it is Sakura's way of sorting out her feelings. How can I not worry?

How can I not worry about her? What if something happens to her out there? I will never be able to forgive myself if anything happens to that girl. I just… I…

I just love her to damn much.

The door opened and I looked up. There stood the girl with her jeans all dirty and her eyes all puffy, soaked from head to toe. She was shivering lightly, but there was a new determination in that green of hers. "Oh god, Sakura!" I pulled her close to me and she buried her face in my shirt as she started to cry. Together we sank to the ground, but I kept my hold on her. I held her close and refused to let go.

"You don't have to be the perfect wife; you just have to be you." I whispered in her ear as she held on to me. Her warm tears soaked my shirt slowly. "I don't need the perfect wife. I need you. All I need it is you. I love you Sakura. I love you."

"I know." She hiccupped and tightened her hold on me. Slowly her tears stopped rolling down her cold pretty face. She wrapped her arms around my neck, and though slightly confused, I hugged her back. Her breath was hot in my neck as she held on to me. It seemed as if she never wanted to let go. "I know." She breathed once again and I felt her lips curve into a slight smile against my skin.

"I'm sorry, Xiao-lang." She whispered to me before my mother and sisters pulled her from my hold and wrapped a towel around her. I watched her being urged upstairs to the bathroom for a hot bath and dry clothes. In the distance I could hear my brother-in-law tell me that it would be wise if I did the same thing.

I nodded dully and made my way to my old bedroom. It seemed empty somehow, my room. Everything was still there, my bed, dresser, desk and bookcase, everything except one thing. I glanced around and smiled slightly at the place I had once called home. Everything was there except her.

Sighing I pulled my wet clothes off my body and climbed into the shower. Hot water beat down on my body and I could feel the tension and fear slowly leaving me. With every droplet beating down on me I found that all the tension and fear was replaced with relief and warmth.

She was back and safe. She was safe… that is all that matters. She must stay safe… Always. Always safe with me. That is a selfish wish, but a wish I never felt so strongly about. I want her to stay with me for all of eternity if it is permitted by the Force above, if the girl herself permits it.

My bed sheets felt cold when I slipped in under them and outside the clouds were still complaining loudly about the load they had to carry for miles before they were allowed to cry it all out over the earth. I kept my eyes on the window as I watched the cold rain beat against the windows in a violent display of despair.

Soft yellow light suddenly flooded into my dark room and I turned to look at the person who opened the door. There stood the girl, unsure, with her eyes locked on me. I watched her swallow hard as her eyes searched mine in the darkness and she closed the door behind her before leaning against it slightly.

She was dressed in one of my old shirts I used to wear as a teenager and it doubled as a nightgown twice her size. Her naked legs moved slightly in uncertainty before she started to walk to my bed. She sighed as she sat down on the edge. "I'm sorry." Her voice was soft and honest. "I'm sorry I made you worry about me, it was selfish of me."

"Sakura…"

"No. You try your best and I don't. It's not fair, but I promise I'll try from now on. I promise you, I'll really try and if you find me not trying you can…" I watched her back as she spoke. "You can hit me over the head and tell me that I'm being daft again and that I am being selfish. Or you can shake me by the shoulders and tell me to stop my nonsense, that I am not a little girl anymore and that I should not want my way with everything."

"You're being a little girl now."

"I am?" She turned to look at me and I smiled at her.

"Yes. You are taking all the blame onto yourself, while I too am a guilty party."

"No! No, you're not. You were nice to me and everything and I spoiled it all because I was scared and angry…"

"And I didn't take your feelings into account. Not really. I was selfish too. I wanted you to myself, whether you were truly happy or not. I still want you to myself, but I want you to be happy as well. I don't want you to pretend to like me."

"But I do like you! I like you a lot." I smiled at her and pulled her under the covers with me. Her back felt cold against my chest and her hair smelled of rain as I rested my face in the crook of her neck.

"I know you do, but it is not just a question of like. You have to love the person to keep them in your life. The only reason we keep people around is because we love them, is it not true?"

"Yes." Her hand tightened around mine and I squeezed her fingers gently. We remained in that position for quite some time, my finger constantly gliding over hers as I held her in my arms. Her breathing had become slower and steady and I let mine follow her rhythmic pattern. She suddenly turned on her back and I found myself staring down at her dark green eyes.

"I thought you were a sleep."

"No." Her voice was barely a whisper. Her fingers reached up to my face and I kept my eyes on hers as her tender touch explored the lines of my face. Slowly, softly her fingers trailed over my skin, pausing here and there for a brief moment. Her thumb brushed over my lips and I kissed it slightly.

Her hand drifted down my face to the back of my neck. A slight weight pulled on me and I watched her close her eyes as she brought her lips closer to mine. I smiled slightly as I closed my own and our lips brushed against each other's. She was sweet and soft, just like I remembered.

I let my body rest on top of hers as I deepened the kiss. Her fingers laced with mine above her head and she squeezed my hands in surrender. I smiled and I could feel her smiling too. This is what I have been dreaming of since I heard about the girl and even more so when I first laid eyes on her.

I never wanted it to end.

Sakura's P.O.V.

It was still very early when I woke up. The sky outside was still dark and soft rain fell down from the dark clouds and every now and again the clouds would rumble in slight discomfort. It seemed that they have not been able to get rid of their load in one go. I smiled at another load grumble, it was going to rain all day long.

I turned on my back and Li's sleeping body fell halfway on top of mine. He moaned slightly in his sleep as he moved himself in a more comfortable position, enabling me to free my arm from him for less than a second. I held my breath as he kept moving, adjusting his body to fit mine. In the end he managed to rest his head on my chest with his arm securely wrapped around my waist.

I glanced down at the mess of hair resting on me. "I know you're awake Xiao-lang." He ignored me and kept his eyes closed, his fingers, however, stroked my side slightly through the t-shirt material. "Don't do that." I grabbed his fingers and he held onto mine.

"Why not? It sends your heart racing." I held my breath. "I can hear it."

"Just don't." I breathed and he gave my fingers a tight squeeze before letting them stroke my side again.

"See, there it goes again."

"Do you enjoy aggravating me?"

"I'm not aggravating you. You would have done more to stop me if I was aggravating you. Go back to sleep, it's still early." I nodded at him even though he couldn't see me and turned my head to look at the window once again. Stray lightning forked across the sky in an eerie silence and I jumped at the extremely loud delayed sound. Li laughed slightly and his breath burned me through the material. "Afraid of a little thunder?"

"Hardly, I was startled." I defended myself. He only made a mocking 'uh-hu' sound at me. My eyes averted from the window to my arm. Frowning I watched him trace his fingers up and down my arm. Goose bumps became visible in even the poor light and I could feel my hair stand on ends.

"Du-dum-du-dum, du-dum-du-dum…" He mimicked my fast heart beat and I closed my eyes in both embarrassment and slight annoyance. "Du-dum-du-dum, du-dum-du-dum… Breathe love." My eyes shot open and I looked down at him. He called me… "Du-dum-du-dum, du-dum-du-dum…" He echoed my heart beat. It sounded much faster than before, so much faster than before.

He lifted his head of my chest and looked up at me. A cheeky smile was playing on his lips as he pulled his body halfway on top of mine. He casually crossed his arms across my chest and rested his chin on the top arm, his dark eyes resting on me all the way. "Du-dum-du-dum, du-dum-du-dum…" He mimicked my heart beat. "I can still feel it."

"You are insufferable." I whined and closed my eyes.

"Du-dum-du-dum, du-dum-du-dum…" His rhythm slowed. "Don't cheat."

"I'm not cheating."

"You are. You are slowing it on purpose."

"How the heck do you slow your heart beat on purpose?"

"Like this." The next thing I know he was kissing me and I was kissing him back. He pulled away with a smile on his face and let his head rest on my chest once again, his ear pressed against the material so he can listen to my heart beat and mock me. "Du-dum-du-dum, du-dum-du-dum…" The rhythm was extremely fast now and I could feel him smiling as he voiced my heart's excitement.

Ignoring him I closed my eyes as he wrapped his arm around my waist, sleep slowly finding its way to me for a second time. The loud grumbles from the clouds were still audible and the soft rain was still falling, but it did not call my attention to it anymore. A smile crept to my lips as I felt Li's heart beat rapidly in his chest and against my body. "Du-dum-du-dum, du-dum-du-dum…" I mimicked it softly before sleep over came me completely.

Syaoran's P.O.V.

"I don't know she is not in her room."

"Not in her room!"

"Where on earth… You don't think that she ran off again, do you?"

"I'll go wake Xiao-lang, he'll know what to do."

I smiled at the panicked voices of my mother and sisters outside my bedroom door. They must have been worried about the girl and decided to check up on her, only to find her bed empty and in fact, not been slept in at all. It sometimes surprised me how easily they could get upset.

My door creaked open and I saw my mother slip in. "Xiao-lang…"

"She's with me mother."

"Oh." Her voice sounded relieved and then her expression changed suddenly to shock. "Oh! Xiao-lang… You didn't…"

"No mother."

"Then what is she doing here dear? Not that I am not pleased to see her safe and sleeping, it's just…"

"She came to talk and I asked her to stay." That was kind of true, even though I did not ask her to stay. It has become a habit for the both of us to share a bed and I did not mind at all. Having her close to me made me feel at ease.

"What did she say?"

"Can't this wait till morning?"

"It is morning. And no it can't, because you will find a way to wriggle yourself out of this conversation like you always do."

"And now you have me cornered with my fiancé sleeping on top of me, thus rendering me helpless and unable to escape." She gave me her you-know-it-now-spill look and I sighed. "She said that she will try."

My mother frowned at me. "Try? What on earth is that suppose to mean?"

"She'll try to be the best wife and friend she can be for me. She'll try not to make things anymore difficult than it need be and she will try to show her love for me in her way, although I think that one might take some work."

"She confessed her love?"

"Not in so many words, mother."

"Well she implied it. Wonderful!" Yes wonderful. I stared at my mother as she nearly jumped up and down with joy. "I'll leave you two alone now. Good rest dear."

"Just go, please mother." I watched the door close before I let out the sigh of annoyance that I have been holding in although my mother's 'visit'. My gaze drifted down to the girl cuddled close to me with her hand in a secure fist on my pyjama pants.

She did indeed imply that she loves me. I am convinced of it. She was just unable to express it to me, or not yet ready to openly admit that she loves me. Not in words in any case, her kisses on the other hand told me all that I needed to know about the girl. The same love I hold for her is boiling through her blood as it is with mine and she has now come to realise that it is futile to resist her feelings.

Bold words for a man, I know. But it is like that corny song says, it is in her kiss. So I changed the gender, so what? It applies to all, and heaven knows that the passion I feel coming from that girl when she kisses me could only mean one thing. L.o.v.e. Love.

I held back a laugh as I brushed my fingers though the girl's hair. If I had not known better I would have thought that we were flung into a cheep romance novel – Girl meets boy, boy likes girl, girl hates boy, boy seduce girl, both fall in love… But here the difference comes in. I will not sleep with my girl until we are married.

It is a sacred vow that two people make to one another. It is a vow that promises the other that he or she will love the other unconditionally and for all eternity. It is not something you can give to every second man or woman you meet. I want the girl to my only. My first and my last and I know that she feels the same.

My fingers brushed through the girl's thick hair and I closed my eyes. Yes, she will be my firs and my last. My only. I only want the girl. I only need the girl. The only girl who has been able to steel my heart with a glance of her deep eyes, a giggle induced by chocolate covered toffees and a tale about a girl and her sneakers at the prom. I only love Sakura.

Sakura's P.O.V.

I groaned as I sat up in the bed. My fingers got tangled in my hair when I tried to push my hand through it and glared up at my untameable locks. "I need a hair cut." I mumbled to myself. Li was nowhere to be seen in the room and I assumed that he was already down stairs with the others.

Yawning I let my feet drop to the soft carpet and walked to the bathroom. The door handle felt cold under my touch as I turned it. The door swung open and hot steam escaped the small tiled room. My breath caught in my throat at the sight. "S…s…sorry." I stuttered and slammed the door shut.

Groaning I slid down with my back against the door. What a fool I must look like. I walked in on a very, very naked Li. And I must have stared a good five minutes before anything registered up stairs and I was able to voice some form of an apology. Oh, what a fool in deed. Then again… Why on earth didn't he lock the door? Because he never locks any door.

I groaned again and then shrieked when my support was abruptly pulled away from me and I was left to tumble to the ground. "Owe." I moaned and rubbed my head. I looked up and found a very amused Li looking down at me. My back was against his now clad in jeans legs and I figured my head must have knocked against his knee. "Not funny."

"Very funny." He mused and lifted me up from the ground. "Like what you saw?"

"Don't be stupid." I snapped and I could feel my cheeks warming with embarrassment. Ignoring his pleased look I tried to push past him and he let me.

"I'll take that as a yes." I groaned as I pushed the door shut. I turned my glare at the innocent, yet somehow guilty, shower. It is after all its fault that Li had to get naked to begin with. Being embarrassed first this in the morning…

What a way to start a day!

AN: Dun-dun-dun!. Lots and lots of confessions and soppy fluffy romance! URG! It's enough to make me sick and to send you all screaming for more. Ok people, from here on end it is going to be more stable. We are still going to experience some up and downs, but now they are going to be more external than internal. And no! There will be no secret crushes out for revenge or missing wedding cakes. Let's just say Tomoyo and Eriol will be quite interesting together.

Form the quiz I gathered that most of you are around 13 or 16. I feel old, since I'm turning 20 this year. And in case you are wondering, I do have a social life. A very active one at that, I just enjoy keeping myself busy 24/7. I write these stories at night when I don't have projects for varsity or any social obligations (Which is rare these days.)

Another question: From where are you guys? I am from the Republic of South Africa R.S.A (I'm a white South African, mind you). I know one girl said she is from California (U.S.A.) - very impressive. So let me know please!

Sorry for the long time it takes to update. I have a hecktic schedual to keep up with this year with varsity. I don't get time to write anymore, but I'll finish this one! Thank you for the great reviews!

Tella

To Cherrysinger: Apology accepted girl! So breathe and relax. I am not angry at you, I was only annoyed. You would have had more than one swear word (in another language) directed towards you if I was angry, believe me. Also, sorry about the swearing. I swear at my friends, but then they swear back and together we swear at others – mad ritual. Don't ask. So chill please! I am not angry!