It's been a MINUTE since I last published anything. But I'm back with an important story for you all.
Back in January when I started publishing stories on here, almost a year ago, I got a message from a user who read my stories. Like others I have received, it was a person who asked my why I didn't ship Rocky and Zuma as a gay couple when it comes to writing my fiction. I told that person that it would have been too hard for me to write three ships at a time, and that writing a gay relationship (while I'm not against them) would be very difficult. After talking with that person more, I decided to at least make Rocky homosexual. The idea of him coming out to his friends slowly formed in my head, and as June rolled around, I started developing something that I never thought I would develop as a writer.
An OC.
Yeah, yeah, I get it. OCs are weird, cringy and blah blah blah.
But this was a necessary move. I tooled the OC to have a distinct personality, and I have plans for the OC in the future, so this character is NOT a one and done project.
Another reason I decided to make Rocky gay was that, well, I think it's a good reflection of society today. Over the last 15 years, LGBTQ+ rights and awareness have increased substantially. Most of us know at least one person in our life that is lesbian, bi, transgender or any other sexual orientation. I, for one, am not a LGBTQ+ individual.
I am, however, an LGBTQ+ ally.
I respect LGBTQ+ youths and others in their journey to self-acceptance and stand with any that are going through tough challenges regarding mental health, egregious stigmas, among other issues.
I'm also against homophobia and transphobia of any kind.
Because, with Rocky being a symbol of accepting one's true self, I think that my stories can be a bit more inclusive and reflecting of social norms, and Rocky's friends would be great allies. A goal of mine as a writer is to publish these stories and make the world slightly better for you all, and I hope this piece helps in any way possible.
If anyone reading my stories identifies as LGBTQ+, then I strongly support you and love you as you are. People like you make this world a better place, for you and for me.
And if you don't like my decision to make Rocky LGBTQ, then I have one simple request for you.
Don't read this story further.
Thanks.
Anyways, enjoy, everyone! :)
paw patrol: all grown up #21: closet
Written September 30th to October 11th, November 1st to November 30th, 2021
chapter 1: a little backstory
ROCKY POV
Hi, everyone. You may know me as Rocky. You know, the recycling dog on the PAW Patrol. You might know me for what I do: fixing and recycling old materials and making them new again. My whole job is odd. Doing something on a rescue team that isn't very common, but helping my friends and the community in a pinch is an awesome feeling. But...well...I'm a lot more than that. This job I have reflects something as well: my personality. I've been different from my pals since Day 1. My friends on the team, like Marshall, Rubble, Everest and Skye, for example, talk a lot and are "social butterflies" as you would call them. But me? I don't like to talk much. I struggle in social situations sometimes and usually keep to myself (unless it's my PAW Patrol friends. I've known them for so long that I trust them a ton). I don't usually like talking to the humans except Ryder in town at length. Not because I dislike them, but it's how my brain's wired. I have no recollection of anything prior to being 3, so I'll try to explain my origins.
According to the owner of the orphanage I lived in (I don't remember her name), I was dumped here as a newborn in a box and simply left behind on a dark, stormy night. The owner of the orphanage stared down and opened the box. I was malnourished and my eyes weren't even open yet. I was on the verge of starvation. Thankfully, she gave me some milk that helped me grow. But the milk that she gave me didn't help. As I got slightly older, I started organizing things on an uncanny basis. I never talked to the other puppies my age in the orphanage, or anyone for that matter. I was all alone, watching TV for hours on end in the playroom of the orphanage. The owner was concerned about me, so she sent over some doctors to examine me. The doctors diagnosed me with asperger's syndrome at the age of three dog years old. According to Ryder, who adopted me into the PAW Patrol, I was also nonverbal for most of my life until I was diagnosed with the condition. The doctors were worried that I might never speak again.
That's when my orphanage began to put me in extensive therapy: I was taught how to read, learned numbers and letters and basic canine behaviors, social cues and all. I barely remember this period of my life, being that I was so young, but I remember being quite fussy at times. I refused to be involved in some of those sessions, because I thought that they were dumb and stupid and would never serve me any purpose. That was when my life began to change forever. One day, after I went through a rigorous session of learning in particular, I saw several puppies that I knew in my orphanage being adopted into families. I saw this and grew jealous of the other puppies. I wanted to be in a family as well. I wanted love and the attention that they received. So, I decided to tackle my therapy sessions with more determination. I focused a lot more, and I became more "interactive" in a sense.
In just a month, by the time I was 4, I was communicating at length with the owner of the orphanage and a few of the puppies there. And not too long later, my life changed again. One sunny day, I was working on a broken stool when a young boy walked over to my area. A boy with a red jacket, blue jeans and spiky, tall brown hair. He saw what I was doing and complimented me on my smarts. He must have had a brilliant idea, because the next thing I knew, the boy was talking to the owner of the orphanage. The boy introduced himself to me as Ryder, and he was the leader of a rescue team called the PAW Patrol, a group of dogs that helps others in need. He asked me if I could be a recycling dog, and I immediately jumped at the chance. Ryder adopted me that same day, and I was introduced to Chase, Marshall and Skye.
They welcomed me with open paws and treated me like, well, a friend. The first ones I ever truly had. And I will always thank them for that. I was also introduced to the townspeople as a recycling dog. Some laughed at my job description when they first heard about me: even Mayor Goodway didn't take me seriously at first. But, after I showed them my knack for fixing things, they were impressed. After a few more months, more dogs came onto the team. Zuma came onto the team just after I did, and I took him under my wing. We've been best friends ever since. Even though we don't have much in common and he sometimes makes fun of me for the way I act, he's still a great dude to hang out with. We just...understand each other. Both of us are orphans, and I view Zuma as not only my best friend, but my brother. Rubble and Everest came onto the PAW Patrol not much later, and that completed our squad. We've all been together since we were 6 years old, and I view each and every one of my friends as family. We've had our typical squabbles and fights, the laughs and the tough times. But that makes us who we are, and I am super happy that I can live with them and work with my friends every day.
But there's also a deep and mysterious thing I have been feeling...a feeling that I never thought I would obtain in my entire life. I've had the strangest feeling ever since I was 12 years old...I started looking at the guys a bit...differently. It's been at least 4 years now, and I can't hide this from anyone anymore. This...thought been thumping and ringing in my brain for several years now. I'm seemingly trapped in this box. This box is just keeping me from experiencing life to the fullest, to the best extent that I can love and be myself.
I think...that I'm gay.
Yeah, you read that right.
I'm gay.
A flaming homosexual.
That right there is my deepest secret. I'm very scared of coming out to everyone...I just have no idea how they would react, that's why. I'm afraid that the guys, especially Zuma, would never talk to me anymore. I'm afraid that Skye and Everest would completely shun me and never look in my direction again. I'm scared that Ryder would kick me off the team and force me to live on the streets, making me homeless and wasting away, forever alone to die. These gay thoughts have always haunted my everyday life since I was 12, and every night, I cried before I went to sleep. Being the intellectual I am, I did some research as well on the topic of homosexuality in dogs, and it's quite nerve-racking. Even though gay dogs have existed for millennia, they were rarely accepted into society until very recently. Most dogs who confessed were kicked out and starved to death, had to become strays or kept themselves in the closet for their entire lives.
I've also had dreams...very...intimate ones at that. I would have dreams where I had sex with every single guy dog on the team. Chase, Marshall, Rubble. And Zuma...those dreams with him in particular...I vividly remember being especially happy in those. We felt so much ecstasy and joy...making love to one another. Everything was perfect in those dreams with my best friend, and it hurts even more, knowing that I'll never experience that kind of love with him. You see...ever since I was 12...I've had a crush on Zuma.
It's so strange, being that he's my best friend and he's the complete opposite of me when it comes to love life. Zuma is a straight up womanizer-talking to girls almost everywhere we go. He's been on more dates with more girls than I can count on my two front paws. He's never even had a steady girlfriend yet, either. Who knows? Maybe he's hiding the fact that he's bisexual or something. He always says that he loves hanging out with the boys, and I totally get it. Dogs are commonly more seen with the same sex. Have I ever gone on a date with a girl before, you ask? No, I have not. I have never seen any girl that really caught my eyes before in terms of beauty and attractiveness. If I was straight, I would have definitely given Everest some thought.
And, well, I'm also a bit jealous. Ever since Chase, Skye, Marshall and Everest all started dating when we were 13, I've been feeling somewhat empty. Like, something is missing from my life. What both couples have is incredibly special and contagious, and I'm still happy for them regardless. The point is, well, I'm the opposite of all my friends. I have been different from them all my life thanks to my aspergers, and my sexuality only increases that notion tenfold. Maybe sometime this week...I'll tell Zuma about my secret and my feelings for him. I know it's a long shot that he'll return my affections, but it's well worth the chance. Plus, he's my best friend. I think he deserves to be the first one that I come out to.