In His Eyes
Canon AU / Aang (21) – Katara (22)
Song: In Your Eyes - The Weeknd - Yes, Another Song Fic because I LOVE The Weeknd
Responses to Reviews:
MAJIN: Yes, I agree, although i didn't want to make Katara like that in Heartborken, it just happened so, yeh, I get you. And If I do decide to continue the story, I'm still not sure if It'll be Kataang endgame, so yeh, idk. But thanks for reading it.
TheQuietReader23: Wellllllllll... I still think the stories shit :) But it didn't go the way I wanted as I wrote a couple spontaneous chapters which included character arcs that weren't supposed to happen until later: like Katara wasn't supposed to reveal her love for Aang until like chapter 16, Aang wasn't supposed to forgive Katara until the very end, Katara wasn't supposed to 'fall in love' with Aang as soon as she see's him, he was supposed to make her jealous and what not. But either way, I'm glad you like it. I don't know If I'm going to continue it as I am sold on my previous Revenge Oneshot to be a story on its own, but I will say that it wont be a Heartbroken rewrite. It'll be different in plot, story and characters, and will take inspiration from The Dark Knight. There may be a few similarities but it'll be its own story instead of a rewrite. Btw, great catch on noticing the similarities between Revenge and Heartbroken, while I was writing the oneshot, I didn't even think of Aang's confrontation with King Kuei, but you found a link I didn't even intend on writing.
Destraumis1: Thanks for reading it, and yes, I will be turning Revenge into a book. I'll start writing and publishing as soon as I get the whole story wrapped around my head.
Ashley Barbosa: Thanks for reviewing my work, it means alot to me and I'm glad I was able to take you through a rollercoaster of emotions through my work.
anayeli12: I'll be posting short stories and updating my new story regularly so be sure to check them out, thanks for reading and reviewing.
She always admired the sunsets that grazed the Air Temples – the blinding rays Illuminating the vast complex structures only the fortunate could gaze upon. Upon first viewing, an Air Temple seemed so lifeless that it was heart-breaking; the ghosts of past memories of laughing children riding their air-scooters across the many vast halls now haunted what was once a such a treasured environment. The sadness was practically oozing from the bloodstained walls, the skull ground gardens, and the void of life training grounds. When she first visited an Air Temple, she could see it all… in his eyes.
As she laid there beneath the sheets, with him hovering above her; kissing her neck so tenderly it made her squirm in delight – she wondered if the reconstructions of the temples could ever revitalise this once breathtakingly beautiful structure. Continuing to lowly moan when he bit the sensitive flesh on her neck, he pulled back to gaze at the sight beneath him; a beautiful waterbender verbally eliciting her desire for him - something he thought he'd never witness. As he continued gazing at her lovingly, while stroking a few locks of her chocolate hair away from her face, she searched for the answer to her question… in his eyes.
I just pretend that I'm in the dark,
I don't regret, cause my heart can't take a loss,
I'd rather be so oblivious,
I'd rather be with you,
The war had ended nine years ago, and even after everything, she couldn't find it within herself to lie to him; she couldn't tell him she wasn't still confused. Giving him false hope after what he had done would've crushed him further… and during that moment, what he needed most was a friend. Someone who understood him and wouldn't judge him for making the difficult decision. Someone who wouldn't belittle or criticise him for going back on his beliefs. Someone who would simply be there for him. And so, she was… and she wasn't.
Sure, she was there in the flesh, holding him, accompanying him – but never truly there in spirit. Her inner turmoil only seemed to grow the more she spent time with him; the more she gazed within his eyes, she saw the once carefree monk brought to nothing but despair and regret. Fortunately, because she and his friends remained, he was able to accept what he did and move on in fair time. However, she still couldn't come to a conclusion about how she felt.
Now, gazing into his eyes, she could recognise a look of understanding shimmering within him. She knew he didn't take his breakup with Suki well – and she knew that he knew that she was just trying to fill the emptiness within her; one that was caused through her own breakup. However, there was much more to it, she recognised this and so did she – they just hadn't verbally communicated it yet. They rather communicated by studying their respective partner's eyes. He understood why she acted like nothing was wrong l those years ago. He understood why she acted like she couldn't see his pain, when she so clearly could. He understood why she remained distant to him after the war; the fear of losing him was still pumping the blood in her heart. It didn't matter that the war was over – he would always be in another battle as he was still the Avatar, and she was still so hopelessly in love. And if she cleared her confusion, nothing would stop her from claiming him – and in the process, claiming a loss of another loved one, eventually.
So, she pretended to be a ghost to his emotions because… she'd rather be free from another heartbreak, even if she'd much rather be with him.
When it's said, when it's done, yeah,
I don't ever wanna know,
I can tell what you done, yeah,
When I look at you,
In your eyes,
I see there's something burning inside you,
Oh, inside you,
She didn't need to search to deep, the storm clouds were just an illusion; all the pain from leaving that night – the night that doomed the Air Nomads – it was all in those clouds themselves. She could feel his regret crackling like thunder as she gazed; regret from running away, regret from burning her, regret from… killing the Firelord, regret from ending things with Suki, regret from… regret from falling in love with her, regret from not forcing her to face her feelings for him sooner, regret from not slamming her against the wall and taking her like she asked him to all those years ago, regret from letting her go… regret from not coming back to her sooner. She could see it all in his eyes.
In your eyes,
I know it hurts to smile, but you try to,
Oh, you try to,
All those years spent together, together physically – as friends, yes – yet apart, apart mentally and spiritually. All those years of them going back forth with other men and women, knowing that no matter who they turned to, they would simply be forcing their unspoken feelings for one another upon their respected partner – a partner who could never comprehend or live up to the Avatar's or the Waterbender's love. She often noticed that all those years took away the beauty held within his smile. Whenever he'd witness her cuddling or kissing her boyfriends, she could tell it hurt to smile, but he still tried to.
Now however, as he leaned down to capture her velvet soft lips with his own, she could see the formation of a sight she hadn't in a long time: Aang's sweet goofy smile, the same one she fell in love with when she was a kid.
You always try to hide the pain,
You always know just what to say,
I always look the other way,
I'm blind, I'm blind,
In your eyes,
You lie but I don't let it define you,
Oh, define you,
He was never truly open with his emotions after the war. Ozai's death took a major toll on him, more so than anyone even thought possible. He felt like he let his people down, like he let the world down, but more importantly, he let himself and her down – even though she tried to convince him to end it in the first place. She knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he actually killed him, so she hoped that he hadn't listened to her or her friends the day before the comet. Yet, he had, and he lost a piece of himself, a piece of his identity, his religion – something he held dear, something he would not be able to attain now. He knew he had to forgive himself, he had done what was necessary and the world was safer now, but that didn't make him feel any better. So, at first, he tried to supress his regrets… he tried to hide his pain.
He was able to convince everyone he was fine. He knew exactly what to say to reassure them. He knew exactly how to smile to avert their eyes. He knew exactly how to act to ease their suspicions. He knew exactly how to lie… and she saw right through it. Yet, she decided to act oblivious to his pain; something that was against her very nature as a person, yet for herself, she had to. She didn't know how to help him without willingly acknowledging her feelings for him, and she didn't want to feel something for him because that would lead to eventual heartbreak – something she didn't think she could endure again.
She wasn't blind… she just chose to be. And he lied… but she knew why.
I tried, to find love,
In someone else, too many times,
But I, hope you know I mean it,
When I tell you, you're the one that was on my mind,
Jet, Haru, and Zuko – she tried to find the same love she denied herself, in them. After learning that Jet survived his injuries, she decided to date him – they lasted a year before she gave up on him. Haru was similar to the lover she truly desired as they had similar traits, however, it wasn't enough. Even though he was kind and attractive, he was mostly boring and had no sense of humour – so, eventually, that relationship died too. Zuko was a break she didn't know she needed; he was a spark she didn't know existed – but that's all he was. He was passionate, but so was she, and he was hot headed, but so was she, and he was short tempered, but so was she – and that was a mixture for a toxic relationship. They argued and fought and couldn't stand each other near the end of it. She thought she found the love she was searching for within Zuko – but love doesn't rely on a 'spark', and a 'spark' was the foundation of their relationship – so, it made sense that it faltered and ended. Their 'love' was like a flame, when it was first lit, it burned brightly, but eventually, it died – like all flames eventually do.
She didn't realise it at the time, but during her relationships, she'd always subconsciously compare her partners to Aang – and that in of itself is what caused everything to crumble. She was trying to find the love she held for him in someone else, and knowing that it was impossible, she continued to do so as she understood: if she could never find that kind of love in anyone else, then she could never truly be in love with them. Thus, she could never get her heart broken. Was this wrong? Stringing people along and dumping them after realising that they weren't him and never could be? Yes. However, she couldn't help it, and neither could he; for he was doing the exact same thing.
He didn't remain a monk his entire life either as he had dated Toph, On Ji and Suki during the years after the war. And from what Toph and Suki told her, he certainly wasn't disappointing in the least bit. She learned that Aang was always thoughtful and intimate, and that they never lost the 'feelings' they had for him even after breaking up. He did something to them… something that caused them to engrave his name in their hearts forever – she, however, could not say the same about her previous boyfriends for she held no feelings for any of them anymore. And from what Aang told her, after breaking up, he no longer held any romantic feelings for his previous girlfriends either.
She always thought they'd forever remain friends…
Yet, here she was, being pressed up against the soft mattress as his hard, toned body engulfed hers in a state of pure loving and lustful bliss. Despite her previous turmoil, the one thing she couldn't deny – while clawing at his back as he kissed and sucked on her breasts – was that he was always on her mind; even when she was with others, he never left her mind… because, in all honesty… he never left her heart.
When it's said, when it's done, yeah,
I would never let you know,
I'm ashamed of what I've done yeah,
When I look at you,
In your eyes,
I see there's something burning inside you,
Oh, inside you,
As he leans up again to capture lips hastily, she gets a glimpse of the darker lust-filled clouds contrasting against the sun's illuminating rays. Neither they, however, could hide the pain floating just above the surface. She knew that by denying how she felt about him for all those years, all she brought upon them was pain and unhappiness. She understood that she wasn't ready back then, but after her first boyfriend, she was mainly just making excuses; desperately trying to force herself to feel numb as she was afraid of the heartbreak that would occur if she admitted she had fallen in love with the Avatar. It was foolish, she could see it now, she was ashamed of it now, but she did not regret it. If she hadn't been with all those other guys, she never would've recognised just how perfect he was for her, both on an intimate, personal, spiritual and mental level.
He was the best of all her previous boyfriends mixed into one spectacularly handsome and thoughtful Avatar. His carefree and goofy personality lit up her most depressing days, bringing life and fun to an otherwise bleak winter. His calm and understanding demeanour comforted her tears as well as perfectly dealt with her hot heated and 'never-say-die' attitude; instead of fighting and arguing with her, he'd listen and wait for her to finish before explaining himself. And even if he wasn't in the wrong, he'd always apologise first, which would in turn cause her to come to her senses and run into his arms, stuttering an endless stream of 'I'm sorry' as she'd realise that her stubbornness had caused yet another argument. He was also kind, gentle and cute – offering her loving words and reassuring her whenever she felt insecure. Yet, he was also daring, passionate, and intimate – never hesitating to flip the switch and let her see his animalistic side when he knew she wanted or needed it.
And if the way he was thrusting into her while growling near her ear was any indication, she knew she'd never grow tired or fall out of love with this airbender.
In your eyes,
I know it hurts to smile, but you try to,
Oh, you try to,
You always try to hide the pain,
You always know just what to say,
I always look the other way,
I'm blind, I'm blind,
In your eyes,
You lie but I don't let it define you,
Oh, define you,
He tries to hide his regrets, but she knows of them too well. He tries to bury his pain, but she see's right through the smile. He lies… for her. And she couldn't take it anymore. Borrowing a Fire Nation airship from Zuko, she flew to the Western Air Temple, one which he was currently reconstructing, and she tackled him to the ground. They talked it out for a while and realised what they both already knew; they couldn't find a 'spark' between each other because it was never there to begin with… and it never needed to be.
A love born from a 'spark' – despite being exciting at first, never lasts. Their love, however, was like the euphoric garden in the Air Temple: at first, there was nothing in her life except a monotonous routine; she was going through the motions, living in a frozen wasteland that she called a village – she was still, like the soil. However, when he entered her life, he planted a seed in that soil; a seed containing a life full of adventure, purpose and fun. They both cared for the garden, watering it with compassion and shining it with rays of understanding. Soon, the garden – much like their relationship – began to grow, and it transformed into a strong bond of friendship. Now, they could have allowed it to remain as is, but the nomad's love knew no bounds, and whether she knew it or not, she too was hoping for the same thing. He fulfilled her dream of travelling the world and becoming a master waterbender, and she in turn gave him her full support; encouraging him to never give into despair, helping him train to win a war while also falling for him in the process.
As the garden began to slowly blossom, so did their relationship; as they stole kisses, glances, dreams, and long hugs from each other – literally dancing between the very thin line between friendship… and something much more beautiful. Just as their garden of love blossomed, it was just as quickly killed… when he was killed. Seeing him fall into her arms lifeless, she felt as if her own life had ended, the hope for a bright future… her future, lying dead in her arms.
This is where the differences between a flame and a garden differ; not much is put into a spark to form a flame, all it requires is passion… and due to that, once the passion fades, the flame itself fades. And Although it can be re-lit, more often than not, it meets the same conclusion as it falters and fades once again. A garden, however, requires time, attention, care, and love to fully blossom… and even if it dies, it doesn't require much effort to rebuild as the foundation is laid bare in the soil – all it needs is commitment. So, she fought to keep her garden, her future, her love alive… and when he awoke in her arms again, she saw all the feelings he had for her laid bare… in his eyes.
That day, Katara conveyed everything she felt for him, everything she held back, everything she feared, hated, regretted, needed, desired, loved… she communicated everything when she embraced him in an earthshattering kiss. She let her fear of heartbreak flow down the river of despair as she had left that boat, and now, there was nothing but the warmth of love she felt in his arms. His eyes sunk in bliss as he wrapped his forearms around her waist tightly, pulling her closer aggressively while she wrapped her arms around his neck and angled her head – closing whatever distance remained between them as their gentle kiss transitioned into a hungry make-out session. They spent the entire day in Aang's bedroom, making love – talking – but mostly making love; for they spent years imagining and questioning how the other tasted and felt beneath their touch… and after suffering for so long, they demanded answers.
Reaching her climax, she fell onto his chest, their breathing in sync as their chests rose and fell together. Adjusting herself slightly, she crossed her arms across his pecks and leaned her chin on her arms, propping herself up slightly so she could stare into his eyes. Like before, she saw it all; the regret, the pain – but more importantly, the longing, the love… Aang. She saw Aang… and she wouldn't trade it… trade him, for anything.
In your eyes,
I see there's something burning inside you,
Oh, inside you,
You always try to hide the pain,
You always know just what to say,
I always look the other way,
I'm blind, I'm blind,
In your eyes,
You lie but I don't let it define you,
Oh, define you,
He hides… to keep her safe. He smiles… to keep her afloat. He lies… to keep her heart intact. He tries… but she could see it all… in his eyes.