Hello my friends, I feel that it is inappropriate to not give you a fair warning before you read this story. The story you are about to witness may surprise you. It may shock you. It may even come out and eat you... Enjoy...
Chapter One: The Bad Brain
The church bells rang in the far distance of the graveyard from which the priest stood. The grave before him was freshly dug with the coffin beside it. A small crowd of five people stood beside him, dressed in black.
One of the women wailed. "Ohhhhhhhohohho..."
The priest began. "Life is a thing. A thing that happens after we are born, goes on for a little, then stops. Today, we are witnessing such a thing."
Just beyond the grave from which the priest was standing, was a iron fence. Standing by it were two men. One was tall with unruly green hair and blue eyes behind his glasses. The other was taller with long messy blackish-brown hair with a silver bang and tan skin with blue eyes.
The one with the green hair licked his lips eagerly at the sight of the new grave, trembling with excitement.
The other just smirked.
The priest continued, "The life in this poor man...is no longer in this poor man. And what do we do with lifeless bodies? Anyone?"
No one answered.
"We bury it," the priest continued. "Because if we don't it'll be a matter of bacteria and it gets very stinky..."
The people fell silent with wailing and stared at the priest with shocked expressions.
The priest raised a hand. "And now I believe the brother would like to say a few words..."
One of the men sniffed. "Thank you minister... My brother Bob had a hard life. When he was young our parents disowned him. He failed in business. He totally destroyed his personal life..."
The priest's eyes drooped and he began to snore, only to snap out of it.
The brother continued. "And he had no friends to speak of... And now the only thing that could make this worse is if maybe, you know, he was dug up and...dissected in an experiment of...I don't know! Rejuvenation of dead tissue!"
The two men by the fence looked at each other, then away whistling.
"Good-bye Bob!" the brother yelled. "Yeah, that's all I have to say."
The priest blinked. "And so, we weep... For-"
The brother suddenly began to sob. "HE OWES ME MONEY! Is there a buffet? Food...drinks?"
The woman sudden gave a huge wail, crossing her eyes.
The priest gave her a comforting look. "It's all right my dear lady, he's in a better place."
The woman shook her head. "Not him! It's a rat!"
"HUH?"
Everyone looked at the ground to see a huge cute looking rat staring up at them.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"RAT!" the priest shrieked as he and the other people ran away.
Giving a small squeak, the rat scampered off.
Seeing that the coast was clear, the two men by the fence raced to the coffin eagerly.
"Open it Gallows!" the green haired one said in delight as the brown haired man began to pry the coffin lid off. "Hurry! Hurry, the clock is ticking! We must get it back to the lab while it's still fresh!"
As the lid snapped off, Gallows stood up with a satisfied smile.
The green haired man, Clive, looking into the coffin with amazement. "Yes, Gallows! Yes! He'll do just perfectly! We'll use his bun cheeks!"
Gallows stared at Clive with an uneasy expression.
"Onward to the next grave!" Clive shouted, picking up a shovel.
After their evening graverobbing, Clive and Gallows stood in the lab of their huge stone castle, around a table witch had a wooden cage in the middle of it that had a brown furry thing inside with red eyes that bounced every second with tremendous speed.
Clive raised an eyebrow. "Well, well, it seems the reanimated squirrel is doing quite well."
The "squirrel" bounced wildly while squeaking rapidly.
"Gallows, it appears we are ready for human experimentation!" Clive giggled.
Gallows stared. "Is it safe, master?" he asked gesturing to the squirrel.
Clive nodded. "Certainly. It's just an animal from the wild...doesn't like to be caged..."
Gallows raised his eyebrows. "Oh...okay."
Clive inhaled deeply. "We have gathered the finest parts for our human experiment. But..." He looked at Gallows. "We lack a brain. We need a perfect brain to suit a perfect being. He will be a genius! And this genius will show to the world that I, Dr. Winslet, have seriously got it going on!"
Suddenly the squirrel began to shake so rapidly that it was just a blur. It squealed, then surprisingly exploded. Clive and Gallows jumped as fur and squirrel guts flew all over the place.
Gallows's jaw dropped.
Clive chuckled nervously. "Well...heh, heh...he certainly didn't like being cooped up, did he?"
Gallows shrugged. "Who does?"
Lighting crackled across the sky as Gallows walked in the darkness toward a closed for the night building. He looked over at the sign. It read:
BAD BRAIN INSTITUTE Est. 1847
With an affirming nod, he threw himself against the front door which snapped and he walked in. Gallows took steady steps backwards, knocking into a chair while doing so. "Yikes!" he yelped as it fell over.
He took another few uneasy steps backward, this time knocking down a huge shelf of glass jars and books. "Omigawd!" he yelled, jumping in surprise as it fell with a crash.
Then, something caught his eye. A long self with brains in jars lined up on it. As he walked over, he saw labels under the brains. Each of them read, in order:
"Violent" "Really Violent" "A Whole New Level Of Violence"
"More Violent Than The Brain In The Last Jar" "Bat Man" "La Brain De Violente"
At the last jar, Gallows gave a smirk and a nod.
"Finally! Finally!" Clive shrieked with delight. "Yes! The eyes of a surgeon. The legs and torso of a dancer. The bun cheeks of that guy from the opening scene." He turned to Gallows who stood at a small table with two brains in jars laid on it. "Excellent work Gallows! Are they scholars?"
Gallows scratched the back of his neck. "Huh?"
"Are they men of great grace and wealth?" Clive asked.
Gallows frowned. "What's a scholar?"
Clive raised an eyebrow. "An educated man. Are they...genius?"
Gallows shrugged. "I guess so... I-I..." He had tears in his eyes. "I CAN'T READ!"
Clive rolled his eyes. "Of course you can't. No matter. As long as you didn't get them from the BAD BRAIN INSTITUTE." He laughed.
Gallows jumped, eyes growing huge with shock and fear. Clive didn't seem to notice.
Clive stroked his chin. "Now...which one?" He pointed at one." Iny-miny, minny-mosey!" He laughed again. "Put him in a bucket, saddle up the horse and move to Nantucket!"
One hour later...
Gallows sat on a chair, drool coming out of his mouth as he slept.
"...and I choose you!" Clive finally finished. "Gallows!"
Gallows jerked awake in surprise.
"Secure the electrodes!" Clive demanded with a smile.
Gallows begun to get up, but his foot got caught on the leg of the chair. "AAHHHHHH!" he yelled, falling to the floor, facefirst.
The whole town gathered around the Mayor's house, yelling and screaming angrily. Virginia, the Mayor, stood out on the balcony of her house, trying to figure out what was wrong.
Jonny, a peasant boy with dirty blonde hair, gave a shout. "Go after it with the torches!"
Virginia raised her hands. "Please! Please! One at a time for heaven's sake!"
"I'm mad!" a baker with a fluffy baker's hat named Luke stated.
"Me too!" Jonny agreed.
"At what?" Virginia inquired.
"They've got to be stopped," Luke said, stomping his foot.
"I'm sorry?" Virginia said cocking an eyebrow.
"Hang'em high!" Luke shouted.
"Hang'em high who?" Virginia asked.
"Hang'em!" Jonny growled.
"Who hanging high?" Virginia yelled. "Who are we hanging?"
Luke and Jonny looked confused.
Luke shrugged. "Uhh...I dunno... BUT ARE WE GONNA TAKE THIS ANYMORE?"
The whole crowd cheered with Luke's statement.
Virginia shook her head. "Take what?"
Jonny frowned. "There must be something going on that we don't approve of. And I think we should go out and stop it! OR KILL IT! OR WHATEVER! WHO'S WITH ME?"
The whole crowd gave yells of agreement at Jonny's saying.
Luke waved his arms. "YEAH! KILL SOMETHING! WHATEVER!"
Virginia put a hand up, silencing the crowd. "My friends, there is nothing to mob about at this time."
"WELL-" Luke started, then frowned. "Okay..."
A murmur of disappointment drifted through the crowd.
Virginia gave a smile. "Now, go back to your homes and get some rest. I'm sure that if we all wait quietly, there will be plenty of things to mob about okay? Okay now, bye-bye."
"I hope it's soon..." Jonny murmured.
"Yeah," Luke agreed as they walked away with the crowd.
But little did the town know, Clive and Gallows were working on something to mob about with in time.
How'd you like that? I hafta finish the Blair Whatever, but oh well! REVIEW PLEASE!