Living in the Grey Zone and surviving from day-to-day could be dicey on the best days, but if Razoreus knew one thing, it only got harder in the months following Eurydice's death. Scratch had apologized to Orpheus for who knew how many times for yelling her name and messing it up, and while Axel was confident Orpheus would have turned around regardless, Scratch wasn't so sure. The guilt ate at her worse than the hunger that gnawed at them all, and not even the hottest hard rock music and improvised percussion could wash it away completely—though they certainly tried their best.
It was especially difficult on the rare occasion a Grey Zoner tuned into the EBN broadcast and saw Eurydice onscreen, dancing in Hades' arms to a chintzy violin tune and looking dead to the world. The first time Orpheus saw the show, it took 5 days of a locked door and increasingly worried bandmates before Linus was able to coax him out, and when he finally emerged Orpheus had looked half-dead himself.
Razoreus didn't think he'd forget that hollow, sunken gaze any time soon, and it made his heart ache even when he and Scratch managed to score a not-so-legal haul from the shipping trucks—boxes of instant noodles and some stray packets of seasoning that would serve them well when properly heated over a fire pit. Scratch wanted nothing to do with the chemical-filled seasoning packets, but had her fair share of noodles, and Axel and Razoreus followed her lead and eagerly dug in. What would have been a Grey Zone feast left Razoreus feeling empty even after his stomach was full, and the others were quick to pick up on it.
"Somethin' on your mind," Axel asked, and the young boy sullenly nodded.
Razoreus knew he was still too young to know true love for himself, but he sure saw it in Orpheus and Eurydice. He couldn't imagine having that kind of love and losing it—it'd surely be worse than giving up skateboarding and rock music combined. He'd heard once that it was like losing part of yourself, but even that comparison felt inadequate in some respects; Axel had lost the use of his hips and lower nervous system in the war and could still shred with the best of them.
But as far as Razoreus could see, there was nothing Orpheus could do about losing Eurydice—not just once, but twice.
"Yeah. I've been thinkin', you know, about Orpheus and all that. Hades gave him a raw deal. One look and he's blown it with Eurydice forever? I call that the pits."
"Wasn't even his fault," Scratch said, guilt flickering across her face for an instant. "I'd call it the pits too. But it's nothin' a little thrashin' can't fix—for us and him," Scratch said with authority. Razoreus wanted to believe her, but something in his mind wouldn't let him.
"What good is us thrashing if he won't go with us? It's not fair," Razoreus bit out, and Axel nodded.
"Life ain't fair, kid, 'n' neither's death. If you don't learn it yourself, that network will force the lesson, just like with Orpheus," the veteran said with a scowl aimed in the general direction of the EBN broadcast building and satellite dish. Razoreus followed his gaze and scowled right back, and just before breaking into a string of expletives towards Hades, Persephone, and their soul-sucking network, Axel gave the young boy a genuine smile. When he finished his round of cursing the EBN, Axel turned back to Razoreus.
"Tell you what. Let's check if Orpheus will come out of his hole."
The Grey Zone trio skated up to the bright red shipping container that Orpheus called home, trying and failing to pretend that they hadn't done this before, to no avail. Scratch knocked on the door and was met with a muffled groan from within.
"I'll get back to you on that later, Linus," Orpheus croaked, sounding like he had his head buried in a pillow. At that, Scratch grinned and raised her voice. "It's not your manager; it's us! Open up and let's go thrashing!"
"Maybe later," Orpheus mumbled, but by that time Razoreus had hoisted Axel up to pick the lock and open the door. All three Grey Zoners entered, and were stunned at what they saw.
Orpheus was a sight, lying on rumpled bedsheets in a worn, weary pose that suggested he was too tired to move, let alone get up. His eyes were dull and his cheeks hollow, as if he hadn't eaten in days. The rest of his room wasn't faring any better; it looked too lived-in, as if it had been days or even weeks since he'd left it. A thin layer of dust coated his desk and the bedside reading lamp, and his once-proud Gibsonian Lyre-Axe Guitar sat as discarded and untouched as his prized skateboard. But one object that Orpheus clearly treated with reverent care was a photo of Eurydice, tenderly kept safe in the folds of a magazine with worn pages, as if he'd recently flipped through them.
"You need to get out more, Orpheus," Scratch finally said, and Razoreus and Axel couldn't help but nod with her. "How about you thrash with us? Come on!"
"Not in the mood," Orpheus said in a tone that clearly meant the conversation was over. Axel scowled and started to say something, but Razoreus overtook him and stepped into the dusty room, inspecting the instrument on the desk with curious eyes. "If you're not gonna thrash, maybe you could play something. That Lyre-Axe you got is radical!"
"Not anymore. It's been busted for a while," Orpheus bit out, and when it became clear that they weren't leaving, he sighed and sat up, facing the trio head-on. "Look, I'll show you."
He took the futuristic guitar from Razoreus and turned it on, playing a few notes. At first the Lyre-Axe sounded in-tune and perfectly clear, filling the space around them with a sense of calmness and power at the same time. But soon the light behind the strings began to fade, and the notes became distorted and ugly, sounding more like microphone feedback than anything else; it was like the world itself was falling out of tune. After a second, Orpheus turned it off with a sigh. "No one knows what's wrong with it—one of the designers is dead and the other went AWOL, so not like we can ask them. And that's if you believe what Linus said was true—you know he loves a good story. Jimi Hendrix trying to unlock new realms of human consciousness makes for more mystique than a wedding gift he bought for 20 bucks at a garage sale."
"People sell garages now? Scratch, we gotta get in on this," Razoreus exclaimed, earning him a good-natured rap on the head from Axel. To their relief, Orpheus was smiling, and he put the instrument away with a small grin before taking in his room with a heavy sigh and noting his stomach starting to growl. "Maybe I will go out shredding with you guys. No promises, though."
"Sounds like a promise to me," Scratch said, and the rest happily agreed, ushering Orpheus out of bed and into his street clothes, which were pristine and unwashed. Soon they'd be caked with sweat and dirt, and that was how the Grey Zoners liked it. Anything that got the blood pumping, the soul moving, helped them survive the place they lived in and drowned out the EBN's signals, however briefly.
After stopping at the fire pit to ensure Orpheus had a meal—they all knew too well what shredding on an empty stomach could cost you—Razoreus spent the rest of the day thrashing with Scratch, Axel, and Orpheus, reliving ennui in whatever ways they saw fit. If he closed his eyes, well, that'd get him a one-way ticket to crashing into a wall, but if he closed them for a bit he could pretend things were normal. The group spent their energy shredding the boards, trashing junkyard cars, and pointedly ignoring any EBN screens in the line of vision, and for a moment things felt right, like they had before the disaster at Orpheus and Eurydice's wedding. It was just them, their skateboards, the open air, and no one and nothing could stand in their way; if Hades and Persephone themselves stood before them, Razoreus felt he could take them both on with his hands tied.
By nighttime the group was too exhausted to skate much more—they'd save dumpster diving and blatantly ignoring the city's curfew for another day. Orpheus left in better spirits, thanking Axel, Scratch, and Razoreus for the night out and promising to pull strings with Linus so they could sneak into his next concert no matter their finances. Before long, the remaining Grey Zoners split for the separate shipping containers the city was generous enough to call their homes, scattering to myriad alleyways in the tangled heart of the city.
Razoreus hadn't gotten far into his ride home when a woman stepped in front of him, out of a nearby alley. He swore and screeched to a halt just in time, skateboard scraping the pavement from the sudden stop. The boy was just about to tell her to watch where she was walking, but then he recognized her face—it was Persephone, Hades' wife and co-manager of the Euthanasia Broadcast Network. Everyone in the Grey Zone had heard the rumors that she turned up in the city every six months or so, but none of the stories ever mentioned what happened to those unfortunate enough to see Persephone in person.
Given the EBN's modus operandi, though, Razoreus knew it couldn't be anything but bad news.
"Oh no," Razoreus breathed as the situation began to sink in. He tried to turn around and skate away, but strong hands lifted him up, hoisting him off his skateboard. Razoreus met the face of a hulking man who snarled like a dog, with smoke emanating from his nostrils. The boy kicked and fought to no avail, and his assailant deposited him in a heap at the hem of Persephone's dress and her polished heels. The Underworld queen seemed unworried at his attempted escape, raising a finger to his captor instead. "Now, Cerberus," she chided, "I told you there's no need to be so rough on the boy. I'm technically on summer break, so you're off-the-clock for guard duty too."
"Sorry, ma'am," the bestial man said sheepishly, but he moved forward all the same, blocking nearby paths so there was nowhere Razoreus could run to.
"What do you want," the boy asked cautiously, and Persephone's eyes lit up as she smiled.
"Cerberus and I are conducting an unofficial survey about our EBN programming—what viewers like, what they dislike, and what they'd like to see in future shows. Summer break is an ideal time for you youngsters to be tuning in, so I thought we'd start with you—the fact that you're friends with that young musician we had on some time ago is just a bonus."
Razoreus wanted to retort that in the Grey Zone summer vacations didn't exactly exist anymore (and neither did schools, for that matter), but he thought better of it. The queen's serious tone implied there was far more to this survey than she was letting on, and the boy swallowed hard. "What if I don't wanna fill out your Q&A session?"
Persephone just smiled wider and gestured to Cerberus, who was suddenly holding a folder that bore Razoreus's name and standing next to a medium-sized machine of some kind. Razoreus had never seen anything like it, but he instinctively flinched at the sight, and shuddered at Persephone's words. "That's why we brought along this EBN portable shredder along with your memory files. I'm sure you can guess what happens to your memory if it's turned into confetti, yes?"
His first instinct was to grab for the papers and run for it, but Razoreus knew he wasn't going anywhere with Cerberus nearby and Persephone's threat of a mind shredded to pieces lingering in the air. After a moment, the boy lowered his head. "Fine, I'll take your survey. Don't expect any prize-winning answers, though."
"Excellent," Persephone chirped. "First question: When would you say you tune into the EBN most?"
That wasn't a hard question to answer. "When there's nothing else to do. Usually when the gang's asleep or busy."
The queen nodded. "I see. Second question: What would you say is your favorite EBN program?"
That was difficult for Razoreus to answer; the more he thought on the network and its mind-numbing shows, the less he seemed to remember. All he could really remember was the need to keep watching and give himself up to the cathode ray, which wasn't exactly what Persephone had asked.
"Don't have one," the boy finally said; when the Underworld queen frowned, he amended his statement. "It all sort of blurs together."
The smile was back on Persephone's face as she looked into his frightened eyes. "Alright; we're almost done! You're doing so well. Third question: Do you have a least favorite EBN program? How would you recommend we improve it?"
That question Razoreus knew the answer to instantly. "The one with Eurydice and Hades," he said with a scowl. "You ever see how sad she looks, or how her dancin' is off the beat? Trust me, lady, you're better off sendin' her back to the Grey Zone. At least here she had Orpheus."
"I'll take your honest feedback into consideration," the queen said with a grin that implied she'd do nothing of the sort. "And now, your final question—what sort of programs would you like to see in the future?"
She watched him intently, from every angle, and Razoreus could feel that Persephone seemed interested in his input. As much as the Grey Zoners loathed the EBN, it was here to stay—and he knew the hand Orpheus had been dealt wasn't fair by a long shot.
Maybe he could help even the score a little; even if Persephone ignored his answer, he could at least say he tried to help Orpheus.
"How about you bring Orpheus back on-air? Give him another shot to save Eurydice. That whole turning-around thing was the pits, and you know it. Make it fair, and I know he can win."
At his response, Persephone seemed intrigued. "Interesting. Thank you for your time, young man; you can rest assured your feedback will have fresh EBN content headed your way, like springtime following winter."
Razoreus rolled his eyes, and in the same instant, with a smile, Persephone turned to Cerberus. "Now, please erase any papers dealing with this encounter, would you? My husband hates loose ends."
"What," the boy managed, but before he could take more than a step, the hulking man procured two sheets of paper from the folder that was his mind. He skated towards Cerberus and grasped for the pages, desperate, but Cerberus knocked him back with a heavy arm and turned the paper shredder on.
"This won't hurt," Persephone said cheerfully, and Cerberus carefully fed the first paper into the machine.
As soon as the metal teeth began to eat at the page, Razoreus stopped in his tracks, suddenly feeling woozy. He groaned and closed his eyes, rubbing at his head and willing for the wave of dizziness to pass. Ribbons of shredded memory danced before his mind's eye as Cerberus fed the second paper into the machine, and Razoreus tried to fight it—he had to remember something—but in seconds, it was over, and the boy forgot to remember at all.
When Razoreus opened his eyes, he cursed—it was dark, past curfew, and if he didn't want to spend the night in a cell, he'd have to hurry home. He wasn't sure what he'd been doing out so late; the last thing he remembered was shredding with Orpheus and the gang. The thought made him smile as he skated home, trying to shed the feeling that something wasn't quite right.
When he made it back to his personal shipping container, safe and sound and with his skateboard in one piece, he found to his dismay that he couldn't sleep. After tossing and turning a bit, Razoreus sighed, gave into temptation, and switched on the EBN television. Just a little bit, he promised himself, to put his weary mind to bed.
He scowled at what he saw onscreen—Eurydice, dancing with Hades again, her movements as wooden as ever and her eyes betraying deep sorrow. Couldn't they see how unhappy she was? Even a soul-sucking Underworld network couldn't be completely heartless. He hoped they at least gave her time off now and then.
And wouldn't it be nice, Razoreus mused sleepily, if she could see Orpheus again? He knew what the Grey Zoners accepted as fact—no one living could go to the EBN and back.
But Orpheus had. It stood to reason that if anyone could go down there a second time, Orpheus could. Razoreus didn't know how, but he had a feeling it was only a matter of time before he saw his friend on the PTR stage once more, risking it all to save his love.
From behind the cathode rays, Hades caught the camera's eye and smiled. The plans for an encore performance were well underway.