Disclaimer: Prison Break doesn't belong to me but it is a lot of fun to take the characters out for a spin.
He slipped out, again.
For the last three nights in a row he's waited until he thought I was asleep and then slipped out of the room to take up residence on the sofa.
Until tonight I was willing to give him the space he seemed to need, but his distance over the last couple days paired with the fact that he's hardly said ten words to his own brother, and even less to me, leads me to believe that tonight I have to try, make an attempt, to go out there and get him to talk to me.
No matter how quiet I tried to be, the element of surprise is completely lost with the soft squeak of the bedroom door hinge surprising him to the point he sits up quickly, his head snapping around to face me alarmed and on guard.
As soon as he sees me he does his best to hide the tension, tension I can easily see written all over his face even in the faint bit of moonlight that barely illuminates room, with a quick 'hey' and a soft smile.
I return the greeting, hardly meaning it myself, finding the pleasantries downright silly at time when it's clear to me that neither one of us is half as comfortable with one another at the moment as we are trying appear, and move in to stand next to him.
"Sit up, Michael."
He looks up, watching me. For a moment, he's just sitting there, not moving,
staring at me flatly in the eye making me begin to think he intends to shut me out
before I even get started; until without a word he does exactly as asked and
sits up.
As soon as he moves I snatch the pillow up from where his head had been, replace it with myself, sitting down quickly, and put the pillow on my lap. " Okay, you can lay back down now."
He gives me a frown in protest pointing out that there is 'hardly enough room or one...' to which I pat the pillow and point out to him that since his choices are at pretty limited at the moment perhaps its best to... " Lie back down. You give me a few minutes and I'll give you your space back."
With a defeated sigh he lies down turning to his side, facing away from me, his head resting lightly on the pillow in my lap. " Sorry I woke you. I couldn't get to sleep tonight."
While I realize I don't know the man half as well as I'd like to, I do know that reaching him at all right now is likely to prove next to impossible.
Knowing I have to try I lay my hand gently on his shoulder hoping the
physical contact, the kind he'd been dodging for days, will eventually ease
the tension and help him to open up.
" I know. And last night... And the night before that... As far as I can see
you've hardly slept in days, Michael."
He pulls away a bit under my hand but I maintain the contact refusing to allow him to slip away that easily. " With all the stress, everything we've been through it stands to reason that you, all of us, should have difficultly sleeping."
" Is that a professional opinion, Doc?"
" It is. Sleeplessness, in this situation, would be a normal reaction." Relieved, apparently believing my inquiry into his recent sleep habits is to make up the bulk of what I want to say, he relaxes under my touch enabling me to grow bolder, working carefully to put him as at ease as possible by moving my hand up, over his shoulder, across his neck, stiff with tension, before running my hand, massaging gently, over his head " Your hair is really starting to grow in. It's..."
Moving my fingertip though his hair working them slowly toward the base of
his neck he reaches up, scrubbing his hand over his scalp harshly before capturing my
hand in his and pulling it down to rest, cupped in his, firmly against his chest.
" Its' pretty bad is what it is."
I can't help smiling knowing, from his way, that the Michael I know is still in there somewhere. "That's a little harsh. I was leaning more toward potentially unruly."
His laughter is soft as he speaks," you're far too generous" eases the tension and lightens the mood to the point he moves his body back, the small bit he'd tried to move away, resting himself fully against me and drawing my hand in tight against his body. " I've never been able to grow facial hair like Linc can, so I guess as long as I keep a long sleeve shirt on, the hair actually makes me a little less recognizable."
For a while I sit there without saying a word, hesitant now that I managed to
get him to relax, to say what I need to say, needing, for my own piece of mind,
to enjoy the comfort of him near and at ease before asking and watching him
slip away with my words.
" Tell me you have a plan, Michael?"
He tenses just a little fearing the worst. " A plan for what?"
I tighten my grip on his hand, knowing his impulse to pull away will
be strong, and hoping for a way to keep him from doing just that.
"Tell me once LJ is safe you have a plan to get away from him, Michael?"
Instead of pulling away he rolls onto his back to face me.
At some point clouds have begun rolling in periodically overtaking the moonlight
filtering in through the window leaving me waiting there, in the dark for minutes that
feel like an eternity until the soft light returns enabling me to see his face.
His eyes are wide, fixed on mine. " He told you! "
He looks so angry that I find myself wishing for more clouds to come and bring back the darkness. " No one told me anything, Michael. I heard you leaving the room. I was at the door the whole time. You were quiet but it's a small place in the middle of a 'silent' nowhere and I heard every word for myself."
The anger on his face fades into a look I can't place as his eyes slowly drift shut.
For a moment I consider telling him that, more then hearing, I'd opened my eyes in time to see them, Michael in a frighteningly vulnerable position, leaving the room together. Still fearing the worse, not wanting to make things any harder I ask the least I can and still get answers leaving what he's willing to tell me entirely up to him. " Did he hurt you? "
Keeping his eyes closed he swallows hard before speaking, in little more than
a whisper, leading me to believe that perhaps there is more to what happened
than he's willing to say while putting to rest what I feared most.
" No ... he didn't."
The clouds roll in again and with the soft rumble of thunder outside the light is gone for good. " What are you going to do, Michael?"
Not realizing I had done it he takes advantage of my loosened grip on his hand by switching roles and moving his hand over, to cover mine, pressing it down against his chest. " I don't know yet. He's just a kid, Sara. Once he's safe I'll deal with T-Bag the best I can."
Understanding from his exhausted deep breath, heavy hearted exhale, and the feel of his heart pounding in his chest under my hand, that what he says is the truth, for now. All he knows and all he has to offer for reassurance. I raise up in my seat just enough to disturb him, to urge him to move. " I understand. There's nothing you can do right now except get some rest. I'm smaller I'll stay here and you take the bed, tonight. You need to rest, Michael"
He moves his body to sit, then stand, holding onto my hand as he goes pulling me to my feet along with him. "Yeah, alright. I know you're right."
Using my hand in his, reeling me in, he wraps his arms tightly around me,
pulling me near, right against him as he stands.
" I'll go. I won't lie, I do need it. But only if you come with me."
He leans back just a little brushing his lips gently over my forehead urging me to tilt my head upward and look into his eyes. "As much as I need sleep, right now, I need you more."