Chapter 2
Mac's apartment
1820
Mac had been trying to pack since she'd gotten home. Mostly she just kept walking back and forth wondering where to start, letting her mind drift in and out of the many memories. This promotion should have had her on an adrenaline high: her own command. No matter how hard she tried, though, she simply couldn't get enthused about it. At the sound of Harm's knock, she let out a heavy sigh. Face it MacKenzie, he's what you've always wanted.
Harm stepped into the apartment. He felt as though everything around him was moving in slow motion.
"We never discussed what to do for food. I hope you don't mind, I picked up some Chinese on the way." Holding up the brown bag, Harm walked towards the kitchen.
"Good idea. I thought after dinner I would start throwing out things I don't really need or want anymore before the movers come."
"I don't have it in me to sort through anything. I'm packing the few things I'm taking with me and letting Uncle Sam handle the rest." Harm set the food on the counter while Mac pulled out the dishes and silverware.
Setting her plate on the table, Mac looked over to where Harm was standing. "Were you ready for this?"
"Were you?" Harm turned slightly before taking his seat.
"No, I mean the promotion and all. You had to know you were on the list."
"I knew, but with everything going on, I'd be lying if I said I'd given it any thought. Besides, with only twenty under my belt, I hadn't really expected it to go through this time." Harm took a bite of food, despite his lack of appetite.
They ate in near total silence.
"How's Mattie taking the news?" Mac finally asked.
"Better than I thought. I'm pretty sure I can get Tom to sign over guardianship to me. When she's ready to move out of the hospital, she'll come do her rehab in England." Harm swallowed hard. He was moving to England, thousands of miles away from Mac. This was going to be by far the hardest thing he'd ever done in his life.
"How long will that be?"
"We don't know. Maybe weeks, maybe more, maybe less. You know what it's been like. There is no such thing as straight answers with an injury like this." Harm couldn't take another bite. Sighing heavily, he pushed the plate away.
"I'm sorry."
"For what?" His brow furrowed in a show of obvious confusion.
"That I wasn't a better friend."
"Mac...you've been a great friend. You've done all you could, all I would let you. Your friendship means ... everything to me. I...I hope we don't...lose that."
"No matter where I am, you can always count on me." Mac grabbed her plate, walking away as quickly as she could without drawing attention to herself and the tears building in her eyes.
Slowly, Harm shoved his chair back and followed Mac into the kitchen. This was all so hard. By the time he'd made his way up to where she was standing, Mac had already begun cleaning out the drawers, tossing miscellaneous utensils into the trash with missile precision and nuclear force.
She was angry, very angry. None of this was fair. Her career was always on track and her personal life just plain sucked.
"Mac." Harm walked up behind her, placing his hands tenderly on her shoulders.
"Please don't." She couldn't take his cryptic comfort, not now, not like this. She wanted so much more.
As painful as it was, Harm took two steps back. "Unless you really need me, I should go home and start sorting myself. I've only got till Monday to take care of everything for Mattie, too."
Mac nodded her head but was unable to look at him. "I'll be okay. You go ahead and take care of your own stuff."
"I'll...I'll call...tomorrow... see if you need any help." Harm almost couldn't get the words out.
"Yeah, tomorrow." There weren't going to be many more of those, were there? Mac was going to lose it any minute if he didn't hurry up and leave.
"Night, Mac." Unable to resist, Harm leaned forward slightly and kissed the top of her head.
Turning slightly, she smiled up at him, tightly gripping some contraption or other in each hand.
"Good night." She didn't know how she was going to bring herself to say goodbye.
Unable to move, Mac watched Harm's back as he turned the corner into the dining room. Listening carefully to every step, when she heard the sound of the door click shut, she dropped what she was holding in her hands and let the tears she'd been fighting gush uncontrolled. She had no idea how long she cried. Totally drained, she finally walked to her room and threw herself on the bed. It may not have been very Marine-like behavior, but she'd earned herself at least one night's good cry, and by God she was going to take it. Sobbing again, the tears flowed until she fell into a restless sleep.
Next morning
Harm's apartmentHarm had gotten very little sleep, so he'd made some effort at making good use of the time he was awake. He'd managed to pack up a few boxes when he heard a light knocking on the door.
Opening the door wide, "Mac," his surprise was obvious.
"I see you're making pretty good progress." Mac walked around the boxes and took a seat by the bar.
"Didn't get much sleep."
"Me neither."
Sitting down on the stool across from her, they sat quietly for a few seconds before Harm reached out and took hold of her hand. "I have something I'd like to say to you."
Glancing down at their clasped hands, when she looked up again, her eyes were drawn to his. "Me too."
"Let me, please, before I lose my nerve." He'd already made up his mind he wasn't leaving for this billet until he had at least told her how he felt. "I..." The warm glimmer in her eyes was drawing him in like a magnet. His mind was a complete jumble of words; he didn't know where to start.
Before he knew how, he realized he was only inches away from her. His heart was racing frantically, caught in his throat. Slowly, inching even closer, he could feel her breath on his face. Without any of the fear or hesitation he'd struggled with all night, the words tumbled out. "I love you, Mac."
Her heart stopped and her jaw dropped. Unable to process anything other than the feel of his hand on hers, and the depth of his now steel-gray eyes, Mac closed the gap, her lips softly settling against his.
This was the response he had dreamed of but hadn't dared hope for. Gently his hands moved forward, molding easily against her hips. The desire to pull her in closer overwhelmed all other rational thought. Feeling the pressure of her kiss lighten and pull away, panic crept rapidly through him.
"I love you, too." Not willing to waste time with any more words, Mac's arms snaked up around his neck, pulling him in closer than she'd thought humanly possible. Delicately, she teased and played with his upper, then lower lip. Her senses were on fire. When his tongue slipped past to dance with hers, she could feel the flames of desire escalating like a fire spreading through a drought-ridden forest. In no time at all she was going to be fully engulfed in the greatest heat of her life.
Pulling her hips against him until she was sitting fully in his lap, her legs wrapped snugly around his waist, Harm could feel the wave of passion filling him to his very soul. This was more than he'd been prepared to deal with when he'd practiced his little speech. He so wanted to love this woman in every way, and now it suddenly seemed very possible.
Her weight fully on him, Mac was losing herself in the tantalizing feel of his touch. She could feel the warmth of fingers burning through the thin layers of fabric between them. She desperately wanted to feel more of him, all of him. Sliding her hands down his chest, she considered pausing to undo his buttons, wanting to feel his hard muscles directly under her touch, but she continued focused on her first goal, the feel of his hands on her bare skin.
In a move that caught Harm completely off guard, Mac pulled away from the kiss, and in a flash, her shirt came up over her head and flew across the room. He couldn't help but glance down at the beautiful, full breasts peeking out over the top of a skin-toned lace bra. Breathing heavily, he leaned closer, his lips gently caressing the side of her face. "I love you," he repeated.
His voice was husky and low with desire, but she could feel the love from the bottom of her toes to the deepest recesses of her soul. His lips descended on hers as she felt herself lifted up, being carried across the room.
Kicking the front door shut as he walked past to the stairs, Harm delved slowly into the cavernous warmth of Mac's moist mouth. Never in his life had he been so physically excited by a mere kiss. Then again, never in his life had he been free to explore the love of Sarah MacKenzie.