Late September-2021
"How are we all doing?" I ask the morning ballet class that I teach for Tessa. It was a class of women my mother's age and older.
I was greeted with a bunch of hello's and I'm goods.
"Don't forget your posture, and plie slowly. One and two, and three, and four," I count with the music. "Stretch, rise and hold. Lean forward more Debra you will have better balance," I say walking around. Correcting as needed.
"Very good, don't grasp the barre like a bicycle handle, thumbs should always be just out of reach," I remind them. "Looking lovely ladies, wonderful pointed feet."
I am fairly sweaty by the time I pack up to go to class, Wednesday is 10:30 to 1 pm. I take a quick shower in the change room off Tessa's office and pull on my school clothes, which are pretty much leggings and a hoodie at the moment.
"Anything special come in?" I ask Tessa who was doing inventory in the shop before heading out.
"Just the shoes we ordered and tights," She tells me and I look in the large mirror.
"Stop that," she warns me gently, but not so gently.
"Stop what? I can't even look at myself in the mirror?" I rebuff her.
"I know that look, you were one look away from being critical about something." Tess gives me a look.
"You sound like my father," I say under my breath. "I was merely just admiring the leggings that I got on sale that is all," I tell her matter of factly.
"Very well, I'll see you tonight? Don't forget to eat you after dance snack," Tessa asks and I nod my head.
"I'll be here at 6 pm, but I should get to school," I tell her grabbing the school bag that I set down.
I eat my yogurt in my car before heading into class, saving my banana for later I decide before I head into my wing of the college. I nod my head to my teacher as I walk into class and fall into the seat I usually occupy. I nod to Seth and smile at Dahlia and Lillie before we get down to business. Planning for next week's topic and shows. What articles need to be written and who will have what, we go on for an hour before we break apart and head to our areas with our laptops.
I got through my schedule refreshing my week pulling out my calendar. Things don't change that much week to week but there is always tweaking here and there. My friends were shocked when they first saw it that was for sure, but it was needed for my life. It came to a running joke in a way, that any plans outside of what was written had a choice for a new colour that I would let you choose from. Much like the first time Tristan asked me out.
Mondays— I start off teaching a morning adult dance class, after dropping Owen off at daycare. Then I have Storytelling and Critical Thinking-Manipulation and the media, and Creative Non-Fiction. Between 10:30 and 4:30, then I pick Owen up and we go home for the evening.
Tuesdays— I had Practicum which was the student news that runs to Noon. Then I usually work at the cafe in the evening, starting between 3-4. I often run errands or hang out with Tristan in my free time. Ken will pick up Owen from daycare and have her until tomorrow afternoon.
Wednesdays—The same morning ballet class, and then Reporting and Communications workshops, or prep for next week. Between 10:30 to 1:30pm. I pick up Owen from Ken's office at the university and take her for the rest of the afternoon and evening. We go to the dance studio in the evening( her dancing, me teaching)
Thursdays—Student news and feature writing, and reporting fundamentals, was much like Tuesday, except only an hour or two between classes and work to see Tristan before starting my shift at the cafe. Owen stays with Ken every other week overnight, while my parents watch her for us when he has his late-night class.
Fridays—I had no classes and only worked in the evening at the cafe.
Saturdays-I taught dance in the mornings and Tessa let me 'borrow' the studio afterwards for my own dancing.
Sundays- I had completely off with a full day of mommy and daughter time, or every other weekend Ken and I took Owen to do something together. Go to the park, the local petting zoo, to the beach in the summer, or the skating rink in the winter.
It wasn't that bad of a load and manageable. I could get in enough work hours to make enough money, but still have some time with Owen, and work in seeing Tristan as well. We've been dating for 7 months at this point, almost eight as we started dating back in early March.
We all do our work, sometimes in small groups other times alone. We could even leave and go to the library or whatnot if we needed to. I was busy in my typing when I saw Tristan's shadow on the screen of my computer. He moves my hair and places a kiss on my neck. He usually stops by to say a quick hello on his way to his class. He's studying to be a paramedic which I find rather sexy at times. I had been so unsure at the beginning wondering how everything would go, work? He never minded the concept of Owen, the child that he hasn't even met yet. Wouldn't meet until I knew it was the long haul, I was very protective about Owen.
"You're beautiful when you're in your thinking mode," he whispers. He is not the only one who stops by. Others have friends, boyfriends and girlfriends who stop by occasionally as well, so he wasn't truly disturbing anyone.
"Stop sweet-talking and get to class," I tease him, giving him a quick kiss before he sneaks out of the room once more. I shake my head smelling at him, before continuing with my work until it is done.
I check the time on my phone, smiling at the photo of Owen I had on as my wallpaper. I say goodbye to Dahlia and Lillie before I head to my car. I need to make my way over to the University to pick up Owen who was spending the morning with Ken in his office, for his office hours as he is a teacher there now that he's finished his master's.
The drive is only a few minutes, and while most of the university is still unknown to me I know my way to Ken's office. I park near his building, my purse is slung on my shoulder and smile at random people. I'm here once a week and it no longer feels as awkward as it first did.
I walk through the halls, down to his small office, only to find a note on his board alerting people he was covering a class in 215 lecture hall.
"Excuse me, where can I find 215?" I ask a random student passing by.
"Oh just down the hall to the left, down the stairs, through the door it's in that hall." They say quickly.
"Thank you," I say before making my way, trying to remember the directions as stated. Down the hall, turn left. Go down the stairs, down the hallway to the double doors. 209, 211, 213, 215.
The door is open and I hear Ken's voice.
"Now, think about Egypt, the pyramids, the Aztecs and their temples. Every civilization has something that makes them memorable. The Seven wonders of the ancient world, most of them destroyed," he speaks clearly as he walks with Owen in his arms.
"The hanging garden of Babylon, a complete mystery, the Temple of Artemis, only pieces of ruins, the statue of Zeus—destroyed. The only one still standing is the Pyramid of Giza," he clicks his computer and the photo comes up on a projector. "I saw it back in 2017 in my post-graduation trip. Now for homework, if you could choose to bring back a wonder, or create a new one, which or what would it be?" Ken says. "Thank you for coming today."
"Thank you!" Owen chirps into his microphone.
A bunch of students giggle. It takes a few more moments for his students to filter out.
"Professor Ford is just a DILF, like my god I don't even like kids and I would do it for a piece of that," I hear someone say as they pass by me without noticing.
"Isn't he with the mother?"
"Even if he was, I can still dream?"
I wait until the class has filtered out before making my way to the from of the lecture.
"Mommy!" Owen exclaims.
"Found us did you?" Ken says in greeting.
"I did, covering a class are we?" I ask him as I pat Owens head affectionately as she hugged my legs.
"Yeah, I will for the next little while, Julian is out with a thrown out back after a fall. So I will be covering it until he's back." Ken says nodding his head. "At least none of them seem smart enough to piece together the dates of the pyramid of Giza and this one's age," Ken jokes.
"Give it time, I'm sure someone will," I tease him before sobering a bit. "They know our stance about the whole social media thing?"
"I told them they all agreed to be respectful to our wishes," Ken nods his head.
I nod my head.
"Do we need to figure out what to do with the minion for Wednesday mornings?" I ask smiling as Owen detaches herself a sits on the floor waiting for us to be done talking.
"Nah, she's fine in class it's just ancient history. I don't think it will be that extreme of a class," Ken says shaking her head. "I can set her up with some colouring and just make do?"
"Mommy I need to go potty," Owen announces to me and I smile and shake my head looking at Ken who would most likely know where the nearest washroom was.
"I'll show you where the washrooms are," Ken says grabbing his laptop and folders tossing them in his bag. I grab Owen to carry her up the stairs, and Ken takes us down the hall and around the corner
I help Owen on the toilet, still mystified that this was my life most days. We wash our hands together before I set her down the floor once more.
"Say goodbye to daddy," I whisper to her as we reach my car.
"Bye-bye Daddy," Owen says as he bends to hug her goodbye.
She toddles over to me I lift her into her car seat and buckle her in, her little legs folding to make herself more comfortable, still rear-facing. Because dad says it is safer for her and I don't argue with him about it.
"Have a good rest of your day," I say to Ken who nods his head.
"You as well," He tells me.
He watches us leave, before being back inside which I see in my rearview mirror.
I leave campus and head to Joy's house which is actually in Stratford, across the bridge since Delilah had been born. I turn on the radio and hit play so it syncs to my phone it opens on the song I had been playing before.
You say that we'll just screw it up in these trying times
We're not trying
So cut the headlights, summer's a knife
I'm always waiting for you just to cut to the bone
Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes
And if I bleed, you'll be the last to know
Oh, it's new, the shape of your body
It's blue, the feeling I've got
And it's ooh, whoa, oh
It's a cruel summer
I sing along to the song that probably hits harder than it should when it came out, because 'that' summer had been cruel, so cruel. Still, the song stays with me as I blast it on the stereo, singing it at the top of my lungs because it's a bop if nothing else.
I'm drunk in the back of the car
And I cried like a baby coming home from the bar
Said I'm fine, but it wasn't true
I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you
And I snuck in through the garden gate
Every night that summer just to seal my fate
And I screamed for whatever it's worth
"I love you, " ain't that the worst thing you ever heard?
He looks up grinning like a devil
Owen joins in on the bridge screaming words that she knows of the song at this point. She doesn't get the meaning behind them of course, not really. But she loves screaming, 'He looks up grinning like a devil' in her little toddler's way.
"Mommy play melon sugar!" Owen shrieks from the back seat as the song ends for us.
I laugh and shake my head. "Play Watermelon Sugar," I tell the car the system.
She sings the words as it plays, or mostly just screams Watermelon Sugar every time it comes on.
I pull up to Joy's house I get out of the car and unbuckle Owen from her car seat and let her climb out. "Don't you dare run for the street," I warn her as she gives me that look that means trouble usually?
I grab her hand and we make our way to the house, I let myself in.
"Joy?" I call out over the tv that was playing paw patrol and crying children.
Somehow after years of struggling to have a child, Delilah jumped started something because five months after the baby was born she found herself accidentally pregnant once more.
So barely a year after the first one was born she had another, or two having somehow had a set of twins. If Matt was shocked at his first set, he was plundered by the second set. Five children!
Samantha and Scarlett, they were named.
"Teetee Willa," Delilah toddles over to us. Teetee is how you say Auntie to Delilah.
"Rilla is that you?" Joy calls out from upstairs.
"Elliot well you continue to watch the girls?" I ask the one preteen boy who was on his phone.
"Sure," he says absentmindedly. "Come on Lilah and Owen I'll show you how to play on the iPad." He tells them.
I shake my head ready to tell him that isn't looking after them but decided to leave it. "Liam," I say in greeting as he comes out of the kitchen while on FaceTime with someone. "Looking mighty handsome today," I tease him and he blushes and hides away his phone.
I find Joy in the nursery with the twins who are about two months old. Like the twins before them, they weren't identical twins. Samantha had ginger hair like Joy and Scarlet was an icy blonde that most likely turn out to be like Matt and her brothers Liam and Elliot were close to being teenagers these days.
Joy often laughed at how they decided on Scarlett last minute and named the wrong twin it. I find myself taking Delilah for her when I could to the park with Owen and me to give her some much-needed rest.
"How are you doing?" I ask her peering over one of the cribs.
"Slowly dying from sleep exhaustion, but managing," Joy says squeezing my shoulder and resting her head on the other. "I don't know how mom did it, truly I don't."
"Well, she didn't have Nan and Di, fourteen months after having Walter," I tell her. "So no more?"
"I got that shit taken care of during the c-section," Joy reminds me. "I am done, I am so done, I have three little miracles and that is enough."
"And Owen will be a teenager, or almost an adult by the time I ever decide to have another one," I say shaking my head.
"Well, she carries on the tradition, who knows maybe she'll have hers by sixteen," Joy teases me tiredly. "How old would you be"
"Don't you dare say things like that," I warn her? "I come over to help you and you say things like that." I shake my head laughing to show that I am teasing her. "I never want to think of that ever. She will graduate high school without being pregnant or having a baby." I tell my sister.
"Of course, but things happen." Joy teases me tiredly and I give her a look. "You know I thought with that new boyfriend you would lighten up a little." Joy says poking me. "How is Tristan?"
"He's fine, I think?" I say sighing. "Most of the time anyway, it's not easy when there are children potentially involved but you know that?"
"Dating is hard in general, it's harder when there are children involved." Joy agrees. "I'm just glad you and Ken don't get jealous and try and sabotage each other."
"I like Victoria she seems nice," I say shrugging. She didn't bother me being around, she was far from being in my daughter's life though. But occasionally she would be around for a little bit when Ken had Owen. But they were older, and dating longer than Tristan and I, and Tristan was no near ready to meet Owen.
"I'm glad you like her then, the boy's mom is a nightmare at times." Joy says sinking into her rocking chair. "Are you taking them to the park?"
"That was the plan," I nod my head. "I'll have her back for dinner?"
"Sounds good," Joy nods her head tiredly. "I might just catch a nap in here."
"I'll let the boys know," I tell her. "Do you need anything from the store?"
"Nah, Matt went last night," Joy says yawning
I go back downstairs and gather up the girls and walk them down to the park that was down the road.
They mostly play run around the play structure and in the sandbox with each other than other children at this point in her life.
"Which one is yours?" A young woman asked curiously.
"The dark-haired one," I say looking at her. "The redhead is my niece."
"Mine's the blonde boy," she tells me pointing to a boy. "You're new around here?"
"No, I'm just helping out my sister lately," I shake my head. "I live out in Glen, I'm Rilla by the way."
"Chelsea," the other girl tells me. "Not that often I see another one of us around."
"I tend to stick close to home, and while I had plenty of intention of joining some teen mom support groups. Well, life just got in the way of everything?" I say.
"They're good if you need support, but sometimes they can be a bit catty when jealously got in the way? At least that was my experience." She tells me
"I can see that," I say quietly. I definitely would have been hated for sure. "I was sixteen," I offer up.
"Seventeen." She replies. "Leo! Don't hog the slide," She calls out. "What's yours called?"
"Elowen," I tell her. "but mostly I just call her Owen."
"That's a nice name," She says. "The dad around?"
"Yeah, we're not together but he is around and helps the whole shebang. "I say quietly not wanting to brag about it just in case she wasn't in the same predicament.
"That's nice, mine is too. His parents didn't take it well when it happened. So we live in my parent's basement. " Chelsea explains. "They haven't even come to see him at all since he was born, believe it or not."
"You must get a lot of time with him then?" I ask. "Some days it feels like I barely see her, between school, my two jobs, time with her father. I feel like I missing everything and one morning I'm going to wake up and she's going to be a teenager and hate me for never being around."
"You're there though, she sees you working and doing school work," Chelsea reminds me.
"Mommy!" Owen screams for me and I look at the other mom who waves me off.
"Whatever are you doing?" I playfully say to Owen is looking up from the play structure.
"Catch me!" She shrieks ready to throw herself from the desk she was standing on.
"No no!" I hurry. "You don't jump off things!" I try to tell her urgently. The last thing I need is a trip to the emergency room with broken bones!
Before I leave, I ask if Chelsea wants to exchange numbers. Maybe we could meet up with kids so they can play together, and maybe I can have a mom friend?
Owen falls into a snap on the drive home as a call comes through from Olivia who was away at college in New Brunswick. Further away, yet we still talk weekly and text all the time.
"Hey what's up," I hit the call button on the steering wheel. "Also little ears so please don't swear," I tell her as Owen tends to pick up on words fairly quickly these days.
Song lyrics are a song that inspired this story from the beginning.
Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift.
Tina.