Chapter 4

When Charlie showed up at the FBI office just before lunch Tuesday, to return the files he still had, Amita was with him. Colby had already left for lunch himself, but Megan flashed her a bright smile.

"Amita! It's nice to see you again. You've been well?"

The two women embraced. "Yes, Megan. It's been a busy six months."

"Excuse me, I see Don." Charlie left the women talking and approached his brother. He dropped the files on his desk. "I'm sorry, I couldn't come up with anything more from these."

Don picked up the files, looked beyond Charlie's shoulder to Amita. "Joined at the hip?"

Charlie stiffened, and Don instantly regretted his harsh tone. "We're just going to lunch. You're welcome to join us. I'm sure she's inviting Megan to her girl's night out tomorrow. Larry and several members of Cal Sci's physics department are throwing a going-away dinner tonight." Charlie looked around for a chair, dragged it to the front of Don's desk and sat down. His voice was low. "I myself am going stay home tonight and have dinner with Dad, who will be home by then. Between lunch, which I expect will end at…" he looked at his watch…"12:57, and then, I need to prepare for the Cal Sci class I have this afternoon at 2:30 and check on an experiement I have going in my off-campus office; something for my personal research." He looked at the watch again, continued, "I'd like to schedule the bathroom after class at 4:30, before I drive home, but I can clear that with you later, if you'd like."

By this time Charlie's voice had risen, and his body language screamed his anger. People were starting to look their way, including Megan and Amita. Don rose from his chair and grabbed his brother forcefully by the arm. "You come with me," he hissed, dragging him into the first empty conference room they came to. When the door shut behind them, Don released his arm quickly, before he was ready, and Charlie stumbled backwards into some chairs. He caught himself on the table and looked at Don. He looked scared, and he didn't speak.

Don took a step toward him, and Charlie looked like he was going to climb up on the table. "Shit, Charlie, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. You ok?"

Charlie just nodded. Don started the hair rub while he paced the room. "I can't believe you sat out in the middle of the bullpen and spoke to me like that. I'm in charge, here, Charlie. I can't have my respect undermined. Doubting me in the field could get someome killed."

Charlie still didn't speak, but at least he sat down in one of the chairs. Don sat a few chairs away. "Look. This was my fault. I know I haven't been exactly…supportive, lately. What's between you and Amita is none of my business."

Charlie met his eyes, then. Don hadn't seen that kind of pain and confusion in a while now, and the fact that he was probably the cause of it hurt him to the core.

"I thought you liked her," Charlie finally said softly.

Don rubbed his neck and looked around the room. Finally he stood and walked to his brother. "I did, Charlie, I loved her." Charlie looked up at him. "But she's a potential threat to someone I love more." Charlie's mouth opened as if he were about to speak, and Don hurried on. "She was my friend, too, Charlie, especially after you two started dating. I've missed that friendship, myself. And I don't believe she sat up all night long making a list of the ways she could hurt you, it's not that I think she's diabolical or something. She left a scar on you. It's hard for me to trust her again."

"So you get defensive."

"Just a little. I'm trying here."

Charlie looked like he was thinking about something, finally deciding to go for it. He stood. "Look, " he said, "we have lunch today, then we both have other plans for a few days…I'd like to have her come to the house Thursday night for dinner. An early night — her flight leaves early Friday morning. But I know she'd like to make things right with you and Dad. Or at least righter."

Don reached for his brother again, but Charlie involuntarily jerked back. "I hurt him," Don suddenly thought. "Not just today…I've hurt him a lot over the years. Not just when we were kids. I say things, do things all the time…" He reached for Charlie again, and this time his brother let him take his arm. Don continued to wonder. "And he has always let himself trust me again, just like he's doing now. Why does it surprise me that he's so willing to forgive Amita?"

He squeezed Charlie's arm gently. "I really am sorry," he said. "Do you believe that?"

"Of course," Charlie said, smiling, a little sadly, Don thought. "I'm sorry, too. This is what people do, Don. They love each other as best they can, and sometimes, we all have things to be sorry about. If we love each other enough, we find a way to go on." Don didn't speak for a moment while he thought about that, so Charlie continued. He grasped Don's hand with one of his own, looked directly at him. "I literally would not have a life without you," he said, "and I wouldn't want one. We've forgiven each other a lot, over the years. We're brothers. At first, because that's how we were born. But lately, the last few years…I think we're brothers because we want to be."

Don quickly turned away, releasing Charlie so that he could bring a sleeve to his eyes. "Damn," he grumbled, cleared his throat. "I thought I was supposed to be the big brother." He turned back to Charlie, who was smiling, arms crossed, looking more relaxed than he remembered him looking in a long time.

"Early dinner Thursday, huh?" he asked, as they walked together to the door. "I should be able to make that."