Guest-
Thank you! I am glad you enjoying the sequel so far. Rilla is definitely doing much better in this one which is lovely for her for sure! I hope you continue to enjoy it and if you have time to comment on it when possible! It's always nice to know that people are enjoying it!
Late October-2020
"Miss Rilla is here today!" I hear so kids exclaim who had gotten here early. I laugh because I am always here. "Is Owen here?"
"Owen is at her Dad's this morning," I tell them. More than once I had brought Owen to class because of plans change. Tessa didn't mind and Owen thought it was fun and it meant I didn't have to ask my parents to watch her or find a babysitter.
"Go get ready for class," I tell them smiling.
I take a breather as I pull off my shoes, wincing at the fresh blisters, and even more bruised and banged up toes. I pull my tights over my toes and pull out my slippers from my bag and slide them on.
I adjust my leotard in the mirror near me, going over my body as I usually do. Sucking in my stomach and running my hand over it feeling bloated today despite having sweated and danced for a good two hours this morning on my own after waking up early.
I spend the next three hours helping teach with Tessa. I toss back a bottle of Gatorade before I shower and change before I head back to Ken's place. If it was another day there would be a chance that I would go see Aunt Marilla, but then it dawns on me that I couldn't even if I wanted to which only made me feel worse.
I drive back to Glen St Mary, and as I pull into his parking lot I already see Owen and him kicking around a ball in a grassy area near his parking lot in their jackets as it was late October at this point.
"She's running for a goal, is she going to make it, she kicks!" Ken says loudly cheering her on. "She scores!"
"Mommy!" She notices me as she races. "Daddy made Dino cakes!" I laugh lightly as haul her up into my arms. When did she get so heavy?
We take Ken's car to the zoo because he has more gas than I do at the moment. Owen babbles away in her own seat.
I mostly stare out the window, not in the mood to talk. Ken has the radio on, singing to himself and Owen.
I gulp down a drink of coffee as the song changes. Ken turns it up a bit,
I have grown up, I am a father now
Everything has changed, but I am still the same somehow
You know I've never been afraid of death
But now I wanna see the things that haven't happened yet
I still love getting out of my mind, I should it cut down
I still know people I don't like and I should cut them out
I feel embarrassed 'bout the things that I did in my youth
'Cause now I have a child, I know one day that she'll go through it.
"Are you still doing the band thing?" I ask Ken as the song switches and I break the silence.
"Yeah, every once in a while we get around to practicing or playing," he answers. "I thought you might have seen a show or two? You friend the one with coloured hair is often there?" He asks in return.
"That's Lillie, also Ken if you're out at night who has Owen?" I ask him with a tired look. "I do, and vice versa in return. What am I going to do beg my parents to watch her so I can go out? I don't have money for a sitter and it's odd to ask someone to watch her if my parents are home. Joy is way too busy with the twins. Wynnie will offer but she does so much as it is. The most I get is an evening on the back deck or maybe a movie with friends at home when I have her. Last night was the first night I actually went out in god knows how long. Most of the time I'm stealing whatever I can just to try and be present in a relationship." I remind him.
"Of course, right I forgot," he says sighing. "I can always take her more you know that right, or if you need more money…"
"I hate taking your money as it is, and we tried more time and she didn't do that well," I remind him before sighing. "I'm sorry I'm just I don't know today?"
"Did you eat at all this morning?" Ken asks cautiously. "I'm just saying sometimes you get a bit cranky when you're hungry?"
I mostly grumble under my breath at him, after a few years of actually eating a normal diet. I feel the effects of not eating much more than I did at 15. I did through the bag I brought and find a pear that I packed.
"Fruit!" Owen shrieks and I instantly sigh.
"Mommy needs to eat, you have your goldfish," Ken warns her looking back in the mirror. I can see her wrinkle her nose at him but her little hand goes for the container of goldfish he packed for her.
I munch as silently as I can. While it gives my stomach a break, it's still not quite enough to make me feel more awake. We reach the petting zoo after 40 minutes of driving and Ken unstraps her and we both reach for her hand. We know what it looks like to many people, a little happy family. Maybe I was a little young, but a family nonetheless. I force a smile on my face, though Owen's exuberance is infectious as she races about the farm. Hot chocolate and cider are bought by Ken for us to keep us warm.
We watch as Owen gets to pet a baby goat that escaped from the pen by the careful watch of the caretaker of the barn and holds one of the bunnies they had in a pen in the area of one of the barns.
After a thorough hand washing, we end up at a small bistro, that after a short talk about soy products seemed promising. They buy their bread from a local bakery that I know to be safe for Owen that did not have soy flour like most sandwich bread you can buy in-store.
We order her a grilled cheese and I give her some of the salad that I ordered, while Ken orders his usual burger and fries, letting Owen sneak fries whenever she wanted.
"So is it just a bad day or just a bad hangover?" Ken finally asks as Owen was busy colouring.
"What are you, my mother?" I look at him pointedly with a dead look.
"You're the mother of my child?" He responds cheekily and I roll my eyes.
"I am not hungover, and I got six hours of sleep," I tell him even though I know don't have to explain myself to him. "I'm just in a funk I suppose and if I can't kick it I'll call Beth," I tell him honestly.
Ken merely nods his head as Owen grabs his attention.
"Are you nervous about meeting Victoria's parents?" I ask him.
"A bit I suppose?" He says after a moment as if he was shocked that I would ask such a thing. Then again we rarely ever speak about our respective dating lives. "I mean it could be worse, I've been through worse."
"So you have," I quietly agree.
"Oh, my parents decided to visit Persis and Yosuke in Japan over Christmas this year. So I thought we could just do a repeat of last year?" Ken asks, which was him coming over on Christmas morning.
"Sounds good," I tell him, actually slightly relieved by the plan.
We drive back in time for bath time, Owen has her bedtime snack in the car that Ken packed for her. He carries her inside for me and lays her out on the couch. Whispering to her something before kissing her head.
We say goodbye and I gather her up and get her into the bath, watching my phone here and there as Tristan was supposed to come over to watch a movie.
"She's finally asleep," I say sighing as I fall into the old chair and curl up into the blanket that Tristan held out for me.
"I didn't realize you sing to her," Tristan tells me and look up at him not realizing he could hear me.
"I have since she was little, I know I'm not the greatest but she likes it," I say quietly cuddling into him. "I'm glad you came over tonight though," I tell him.
"Well, it is better than not seeing you at all this weekend," He says quietly. "How was the farm?"
"It was good, she had a lot of fun," I tell him. "We settled the schedule for Christmas and whatnot as well which is good." Leaning forward to rub my calf muscle that was cramping. "Ouff that is not helping," I mutter to myself.
"To much dance?" Tristan asks.
"There is no such thing as too much dance," I give him a look as I learn back in the swing.
"You should dance for me," Tristan says quietly
"I thought you thought dance was boring?" I turn to look at him.
"I was thinking more of a special sort of dance," he nips my ear. "Like, more a private dance, alone in my room sort of dance?"
"You want me to strip for you?" I look at him raising my eyebrows. "I feel that's an insult to all the hard work I do for ballet."
"Oh come on, don't think of it like that. All I'm saying is I know who you get when the right song makes your body feel alive and it does incredible things?"
"You are really incorrigible," I shake my head at him rolling my eyes at him.
"So will you?" He asks whispering in my ear.
"Only if you watch me actually dance in return and not just sit there bored," I tell him back with a smirk.
"You drive a very hard bargain, Miss Blythe," he steals a kiss grinning.
"Well, I learned from the best," I grin. "You try getting a toddler to cooperate and we'll see how much better you get at bargaining," I tell him patting his cheek.
"Mommy?" I turn to my toddlers' voice. "I got sick…" and sure enough there was vomit all down her front.
"Give me a minute," I tell Tristen. "Or a bit," I say sighing and getting up and seeing just how bad it was. I lead her to the washroom that was off the kitchen, peeling off her dirty nightgown. She suddenly gives me a look and I grab her and hold her over the toilet.
"Mommy?" She whimpers before throwing up once more.
'It's going to be okay baby," I say trying to reassure her.
I grab a washcloth and the old bowl under the sink that has long been designated for such things. I sit her on the toilet in her pull-ups, I grab the thermometer from the cabinet and hold it under her underarm.
"Rilla?" Tristan calls out as Owen gets sick once more.
"Can you do me a favour?" I ask him hiding Owen from view as I talk from the small bathroom. "Go to the nearest open pharmacy and get some children's Gravol, the chewable kind-grape if they have it, and some children's Benadryl again grape if they have it. There's twenty-five in my purse, that should cover it." I turn back to Owen who heaving once again.
"What's wrong with her?" Tristan asks.
"She's sick, mostly despite double-checking everything she most likely ate something with some soy product in it," I tell him, eyeing the rash that had developed. "She just needs some medicine it's in her backpack which was left in Ken's car by accident."
"I'll be quick as I can," Tristan tells me. "Ughh, you have some sick on you?" He says carefully unsure if he should mention it or not.
I shrug sighing. "It's not the first time, nor will it be the last bodily fluid that will end up on me."
"Of course," He nods. "I'll be back as soon I can be." He says grabbing his jacket and leaving the house.
I fill up the bathtub with warm water, stripping down to my bralette and underwear I sit in the bath with her with me.
"Mommy," She continues to whimper.
"I know I'm sorry," I whisper back. "I should have checked better." This wasn't a common occurrence, but it's happened enough times that I knew unless she turned for the worse I would stay relatively panic-free these days. Mostly I try to think back to what I fed her, or mean to ask Ken if he gave her something new.
Benadryl will help the rash and the Gravol will settle her stomach enough she'll be able to sleep after throwing up as she has.
"Why are all the lights…"Shirley says coming home confused until he sees the bathroom door open a crack and Owen still crying. He pokes his head in, looking everywhere but me, as I pull the curtain for some modesty.
"Is she okay?" He calls out worried. "Do you need anything or help?"
"She'll be fine," I tell him quietly as I watch her carefully breathe, making sure she doesn't get worse but she stays the same.
"I thought Tristan was coming over?" Shirley asks turning away slightly and looking at the doorframe.
"He went out to get some medicine," I say quietly. "Can you wait for him? I don't want to leave her?"
"Of course," Shirley nods.
I wait for him to leave before I haul myself out of the tub and wrap myself and her in Dad's old housecoat. I make it upstairs, redressing her and myself. I assess her bed and pull off the sick-covered blankets.
"I just want to go up and see her, say goodnight to her," Tristan argues with my brother.
"She's putting Owen back to bed," Shirley tells him. "It's better if you don't disturb her. Look. we tolerate you because you make her happy, but Owen will always, always come first and right now Owen needs all her attention."
"Shirley!" I chastise my brother from the middle landing of the stairs who looks at me sheepishly. "Thank you, for running out Tristan. I'll call you tomorrow, maybe if she's feeling better we can actually watch a movie or something when she's in bed."
Tristan nods and hands me the bag. "Let me know," he gives me a small kiss and goes out the front door.
I look at my brother. "He doesn't need that, both of us know it's not easy dating me and my life is complicated. We don't need you making more problems for us."
I stalk back upstairs Owen is still curled up in my bed, I open the bag and look at the receipt, noting that he used debit and not cash. I sigh and shake my head, I grab my phone and send a thank you text before ripping open the Benadryl and measuring out the amount.
"Come on, this will make you itchy's feel better," I tell her. She drinks it without complaint and I open the Gravol and break it in half. "And this will make your tummy feel better."
I wait until she is asleep before I tear apart the kitchen for anything that could have set her off.
"What did she eat," I say into my phone after dialling Ken's number.
"Rilla?" Ken says confused, and soundingly out of breath or half asleep.
"What did she eat, she's been sick for the last hour puking and crying from being itchy. What did she eat?" I explain to him.
I hear him mutter something, and Victoria's voice and I realize that I most likely interrupted him.
"I check everything I buy for Owen," Ken tells me and it sounds like his riffling through his own cupboards. "I just did groceries, I only bought the usual things for her that I know are safe."
"Something set her off Ken!" I exclaim, tears running down my face. "You know the doctor warns us to not let it happen often because it could get worse." I remind him.
"I know that Rilla," Ken reminds me and then I hear him go silent as if he puts the phone down.
"When I asked you to grab the snacks for Owen's bag today, what did you grab?" I hear muffled
"Just want you usually give her Ken?" More shuffling and sounds of boxes and then I hear him groan.
"Her little puffs she likes. I just bought a new container of them. They must have changed the recipe without warning." Ken says sighing picking up his phone again. "I'll make sure to toss them, do you need anything though?"
"Tristan went out and got some medicine for her," I tell him. "We were out on the porch when she came downstairs," I explain. "Sorry I disturbed you."
"You didn't and thank you for letting me know," Ken says quietly. We say goodnight and I sigh climbing up the stairs back up to my room. Owen is still sleeping and looking at her reminds me of the time she had a fever as a baby and I drove myself to the hospital with her. Mom is out at Aunt Diana's and Dad is at working the night shift.
She cuddles with me in bed, though the garbage pail is right beside the bed just in case.
I'm up early despite everything and my mind is a million places after Owen falls back asleep after requesting a morning bath. This time in her own room.
"Do you know what time it is?" Olivia groans as she picks up her phone, realizing it was on video chat at that.
"8 am on a Sunday?" I say yawning. "I mean your night can't be as bad as mine."
"I don't know that," She says shaking her head. "What happened?"
"Tristan came over after Owen was down for the night except she ended up getting sick and it was just a mess of a night," I say sighing. "She woke up and wanted a bath, now she sleeping again in her own bed this time around. She'll be groggy today most likely, and thank god I don't work today."
"No, you just call college students who live in a dorm on Sunday at 8 am," Olivia says sarcastically yawning. "Though I am assuming you need my ever wonderful advice for a call this early. I thought we got all the weird sex questions out of the way already?"
"Cannot I just call you to chat?" I say rolling my eyes at her
"Not at 8 am on a Sunday," She gives me a look. "So out with it."
I sigh, getting up to shut my door a bit. I didn't want anyone overhearing if I could prevent it. I recap the conversation with Tristan from the night before.
"Do you think I should?" I ask Olivia biting my lip.
"Rilla if you're that uncomfortable with it, just tell him no," She tells me back. "I mean it can be fun, but if it's not fun for you, then what is the point of it? Yes, you can do things with your body that I am sure even the best stripper on the east coast would be jealous of. You're flexible and can move to any sort of music in perfect timing. But if you're not into it, that is fine you are allowed to have your boundaries."
"Isn't it just like usual though? Just a bit more intentional?" I ask sighing.
"It's completely intentional which is why it's your choice. You're 19, it's your body and your choice, he can ask, but that doesn't mean you have to. It's not like you give him a blowie every time he asks during shark week?"
"I only bleed for a day or two with my birth control," I say awkwardly.
"Well, lucky you," Olivia says sarcastically, but I know she teasing me.
"Look if you're afraid because you're self-conscious and just nervous about him seeing you as such, that is normal. If you're afraid and just don't want to do it, that is fine as well. If you are nervous and curious and want to try it, then go for it, what's the worse that will happen? You fall, make a mistake, who cares you have sex, get a mind-blowing orgasm and just move on and never mention it again." Olivia tells me. "Don't be afraid to say no, but also don't be afraid to try new things either."
I hum into the phone still not exactly sure how I felt but glad that I had Olivia to talk to about it either way.
Lyrics are from Ed Sheeran's song Tides. While not technically out in 2020...i threw it in anyway as I love the song and it fits for ken!