"Oh my god, what did you do to your pretty face!" Olivia exclaims when she sees the line where my stitches used to be above my left eyebrow.
"I got in a fight with the snow in my car," I told her sheepishly. "We're okay though," I add on.
"You got in a car accident and didn't even tell me?" Olivia's mouth hangs open slightly. "I feel so left out."
"It's nothing to brag about, I crashed into a tree with my daughter in the tree which probably is still the scariest thing about it," I tell her quietly. "I could have killed us both we're both sorta recovering from it. Dad just took out the stitches this morning for me actually and today was the first day that Owen went to Ken without clinging to me crying."
Olivia sobers looking at me realizing how the whole event must have been like for me. I wouldn't admit it but it was almost nice to have mom fuss over the both of us when I had come home, and Owen refusing to be with Ken. After Ken dropped off we all cuddled in bed that night. The next day I woke sore and felt like I had been pushed around and spent the day listening to my parents talk to the insurance company, and the auto shop. While I recounted my accident back to the police with a bit more clarity. It was ruled an accident and nothing more.
"But you didn't and you got yourself help," Olivia tells me. "When is she expected back?
"He'll drop her off tonight?" I tell her. "I wanted to have some child-free time with you anyway," I tell her wrapping my arm around her.
"How was the end of the semester?" Olivia asks as she takes a bit of my plate of celery. "You really don't change do you?"
"I like my vegetables, nothing will change that." I remind her as I dip my celery into hummus. Something I only had when Owen wasn't around because for some reason Chickpeas did the same thing soybean did to her. "Semester was good, marks are still being calculated but I think I did all right. Not sure what exactly I'll be doing once school is finished, but I'll figure it out, how about you?"
"Good I think, health is hard but it will be worth it, I think, Oh hi Dr. Blythe!" Olivia says brightly seeing my Dad walk into the room.
"You know you can just call me Gilbert, Olivia," he chuckles. "How was your term at school?
"Yeah, I don't think that will ever be a thing, Dr. B," Olivia grins. "It went well I think we shall see I guess?"
"Well I will let you girls catch up, please don't drink all the wine in the fridge," Dad tells me.
"I'm more of a gin and tonic girl myself, so your wine is safe," Olivia grins and Dad shakes his head and leans to kiss the top of my head.
"Then please drink responsibly, don't go driving home or anything like that," Dad tells us before grabbing his keys and grabbing his winter coat and briefcase.
"They have gotten really chill haven't they?" Olivia turns to look at me and I shrug.
"We're nineteen it's not like they can frown upon the drinking," I remind her. "Though they do think that I am still dating Tristan, despite him not being around for a few weeks. I don't think the whole exams and school thing is gonna cut it anymore." I say quietly wincing.
"You haven't told them you broke up?" Olivia's mouth drops open.
"If I do, they'll just get all crazy and paranoid," I say shrugging. "I don't want to get into the issues of my broken relationship, I do that enough with Beth. It's just easy to not tell them and let it come out slowly."
Olivia looks at me for a long moment. "I think you can give them a bit more credit than that, it's not like you broke up and going to jump into Ken's arms or anything. They know it's not like that anymore, plus he's dating Victoria still isn't he?"
"As far as I know?" I say shrugging. "We have a fairly simple, don't ask-don't tell policy for our dating lives for most things, outside of the realm of Owen at the very least."
"Probably for the best?" Olivia says which shocks me. "I mean looking back on it and all, it was weird in its way. Not that he was creepy towards you really, but I guess being older and thinking about how old you were, and how old he was? Robbie and I are only a year apart, and his dating a high school his first year was strange enough for him?
"I wouldn't know, it's just life for me?" I say unsure of what else to say.
It feels like high school a bit having Olivia home, mostly because I had no car to get anywhere until it was fixed up by the dealer. Except unlike in high school, we did have wine and liquor and I had a toddler.
"No, no," I say shaking my head and laughing as I am still cradling my small glass of wine as mom opens the front door with her keys giving us both a look.
"Should I ask?" She asks.
Olivia looks at me and grinned. "You know Mrs. B, remember that time all the mice got lost in the biology lab at school?"
"Oh dear lord, what did you have to do with it?" Mom exclaims and I cackle using my foot to poke Olivia in the stomach as I sat against the armrest of the sofa.
"Well you see, we wanted to see how long it would take for them to get eaten if they were left to their own devices after one of the boys found a snake," Olivia says breathlessly.
"There was, is a snake in the school!" Mom yells. "Seriously girls!"
"It wasn't our idea! It just happened, Olivia just happened to be there for that after-school club?" I wave her off.
"How much wine have you had?" Mom looks at me.
"Just this much," I say showing her my glass and putting a finger slightly above where I had already drunk. "We're just happy that is all, Ken's dropping off Owen soon, so it's not like I can really get drunk. I'll save that for the bar on Friday?"
"Okay then" Mom shakes her head. "I'm going to start dinner then."
'Oh, your gift!" Olivia grins and gets up. Setting her drink on the coaster on the table and fished out a wrapped gift grinning from her bag, that also had one for Owen as well it appeared. "Open it." She urges me.
"Let me get yours at least," I say getting up and finding hers that was under the tree that was already set up.
We exchange gifts and I shake mine giving her a look. I ripped off some of the paper catching a glimpse at the toy. An adult toy of things!
"Olivia!" I shriek. "That is not! I do not need it!"
"Don't need what?" Mom pokes her head out of the kitchen to talk to us.
"Nothing Mom, nothing you want to even know about," I stress to her. I don't even know if I want anything like Olivia gifted me!
Olivia cackles kicking her feet. "You said you were lonely, so this should help with the loneliness." She takes the large box I set out for her with curiosity.
I watch her open it fascinated by what it could be. When I made the joke to Dad about it, I didn't think he would actually go for it.
"Oh my god is this an actual vintage skeleton?" Olivia looks up at me.
"Well it's not real," I stress to her, "but it is vintage Dad found it at the office and I asked if I could have it. I cleaned all the parts and bones and I think everything is there?"
"You are amazing you know that right?" Olivia tells me leaning forward for a hug which I return.
"I still can't believe you did this, by the way, you better not hope the minion doesn't find it and ask what it is," I warn her.
"So just hide it out of reach like birth control and anti-depressants," Olivia tells me shrugging.
"You do realize she knows they are there and to never touch them and why mommy takes them?" I tell her with a look as there was another knock at the door before it opened.
"Mommy!" Owen comes in only stopping to unvelcro her shoes. "Teetee Livy!" She says noticing Olivia.
I get off the couch stashing the offensive gift somewhere that Owen could not see it with the plan to hide it away for all eternity before my parents found it as well. Ken gives me a raised eyebrow and I shake my head at him to say I'm not getting into it.
"How was she?" I ask him.
"She was good, we video chatted with my parents before they went to bed in Japan," Ken tells me and hands me Owens backpack.
"Well, thanks for dropping her off. I think we get the car back in a day or two so it will be easier for you and Victoria," I tell him, my head going back to what Olivia said about the past him.
'She's actually out west visiting family for the holidays, and really it's no trouble at all," Ken says quietly.
"Owen say bye-bye to Daddy," I say out loud to gather Owen's attention.
"Bye-bye Daddy!" She comes racing over to hug him. "Dive safes," she tells him which shocks me slightly.
"I will," Ken ruffles her hair and crouches to kiss her goodbye on the cheek.
"Present me?" Owen looks at me confused when Olivia holds out the other gift she had brought.
"Say thank you," I remind her, letting her know she can take it.
"Thank you," she says very seriously.
"That better be child appropriate," I warn Olivia playfully. "You also didn't need to get either of us anything."
"Who do you think I am?" Olivia feigns distrust as Owen rips apart the paper. "And It's Christmas."
"A Dolly mommy!" Owen exclaims. "Open please!" She thrusts the box at me and I laugh lightly.
"She is always so polite," Olivia muses as I finagle with the box, Owen bouncing on her heels but still allowing me to do my job.
"I try my best that is all," I tell Olivia before managing to wrangle the doll from the package and pass it to Owen. "What do you say to Aunty Olivia?"
"Thank you, I love her," Owen hugs her to her chest before crawling into Olivia's lap and hugging her as well with a sloppy kiss on the cheek that makes Olivia laugh.
"I go show Grammy?" She looks at me and I nod my head and she scampers off and a few minutes later you can hear my mom gush over the doll.
"I can't believe how much she has grown," Olivia says sighing. "Seeing it in person just makes it so much more real I suppose? She was barely talking over the summer and now she is almost talking in sentences here and there?"
"It's coming along, new words all the time and just putting things together," I nod my head agreeing.
Christmas will be a smaller affair this year, Faith and Jem are finally on their honeymoon in some sunny place and not wintertime in Canada. Joy and Matt while they come over for dinner on boxing day, but stay home for Christmas with their family. Walter and Di will come home, and Shirley and Wynnie were of course home.
The one person who had always been here for Christmas and who was truly gone was Aunt Marilla and it hit harder than we all expected in different ways. Mom was quiet, catching herself whenever she mentioned her late guardian. The table cloth they usually used, one that Aunt Marilla made, the old turkey roaster that was a gift when they renewed their marriage vows before Jem was born. The gift they had already boughten for her, that she couldn't seem to return and didn't know what else to do.
For me, it hit in another way, a way I didn't expect, maybe because I haven't been so hyper-focused on something for so long. It was like a thread in me snapped as I find myself learning how to follow the old recipe past midnight after I had put out the Santa gifts for Owen.
Christmas wasn't Christmas without plum puffs that is for sure. Jars of plum jam are still hidden away in the back of the pantry.
I wrestle with the pastry, trying to understand. To think back to all the time I had watched her make it before my life changed before it felt like parts of my childhood had been taken away from me.
"What in the world are you doing?" Mom says padding out of her bedroom that was beside the kitchen.
"It's not Christmas without them if she's not here to make them. I have to make them, Owen needs to know them," I cry silently as I hit the pastry, smashing it together. "It's just not working, it's not working. She would show me how to make them, she taught me how to make them and I never paid attention to it! She's probably somewhere shaking her head at me thinking that I am useless Even the recipe is useless, it doesn't explain how to make them! It's not the same if you just use frozen pastry."
"Oh honey," Mom takes my hands from the bowl of dough. "She never let you help to teach you, she just liked having your company because you seemed to like helping her. She never cared about them living out her own life."
"I care though!" I cry, my body shaking. "Why isn't it working?"
"We'll figure it out," Mom tries to comfort me. "Aunt Marilla was known for leaving instruction out of her recipes if there were hers anyway.
Mom gets me a new bowl and works me through the recipe but first, she reminds me of a step I had forgotten about. As she works through rolling out the butter into a perfect square between two pieces of parchment paper and placing it in the freezer.
I had been trying to put the butter in the dough.
We work through the steps, folding, chilling, folding the dough, chilling and leaving it to chill.
"Thats enough for tonight, we can make them in the morning," Mom says holding my arms. "You can use some sleep, we both can?" Mom says looking at the clock.
"The dishes," I say looking at the mess I had made.
"They can wait until morning," Mom shakes her head at me.
"Can I sleep with you?" I ask quietly, still feeling unsettled.
Mom nods her head and wraps her arms around me as she leads me back into the master bedroom. I toss off my dirty pyjama stop leaving me in my bralette because the reality was she watched me nurse my child for over a year.
I still fall in a restless sleep though still find it utterly laughable that no matter where I end up, there are little feet in my face.
"Owen…" I groan as she kicks me slightly in her sleep. Did I leave the toddler gate open, she is good with stairs, but I keep it shut at night just for safety reasons.
"Mommy," She says in her sleepy haze curled up against me, in a way that was like she was still in me. Still not fully grasping that it's Christmas morning and I open my eyes to find mom still sleeping.
I quietly leave the bed, gathering Owen into my arms and sneaking out of bed. I lay her down on the couch before I got back to work on the plum puffs.
Rolling out the dough, cutting, dollops of jam brushed with egg wash and sugar before going into a high heat even for ultimate puffiness. I hoped anyway and by the time I pulled them out and were cooling Owen came in rubbing her eyes.
"Presents, Chrishmiis?" She asks, not even breakfast presents as she asked every other morning so far.
"When the others get up, let's have some breakfast first?" I gather her up and grab the cereal from the counter. Something to tide her over until brunch later today. "Merry Christmas though, do you know how to answer that?"
"Merry Chrishmiss?" She says back to me and I smile at her.
"Yes Merry Christmas," I pat her head and pour milk over the cereal.
"What were you doing last night I swear you were up all night?" Shirley groans coming into the Kitchen with Wynnie. "No coffee?"
"So make some?" I tell him rolling my eyes.
"Merry Chrishmiss!" Owen exclaims loudly, cereal spitting out of her mouth. "Chrishmiss!"
"Yes, munchkin, Merry Christmas," Shirley and Wynnie say both say grinning.
"What is that smell?" Walter asks looking at the oven and going over to open it as he comes into the kitchen that morning. "It smells like plum puffs?"
"Don't you dare open it!' I shriek. "They aren't done," I add on to explain.
"You made plum puffs?" Shirley quiets down looking at me clearly shocked. "But you can barely bake a cake?" Reminding me of the last time I tried to bake a cake for Owen's birthday last year that didn't turn out at all like the picot. Though in the corner of my eye I see Di who appeared as well go to swat him.
"It's not Christmas without them." I say quietly, though even when they were pulled out of the oven, on a rack to cool. Looking a little worse than wear, especially after Owen was the one who poured over the drizzle on them. No one made a move to touch them.
I work quickly to get Owen dressed her in her Christmas pyjamas and put on my matching ones, because Ken had texted and asked if it was all right to come over now.
"Merry Chrishmiss Daddy!" Owen runs over to him and gives him a slobbery kiss. Mom hands him a Kleenex and takes his bags from him.
"It's nice to have you, Kenneth," She tells him handing him a cup of coffee. "Gilbert should be here in a moment and then we can let this one open her presents."
"No worries, thank you for having me," Ken says nodding his head before taking a sip of the hot liquid.
Dad does a double-take of them when he gets home from his night shift at the hospital. He looks at mom, and then at me and silently hugs me as if Mom told him of our night. He stays up long enough to do a round of presents with Owen before we put him to bed. Family dinner will be tomorrow night, today was just simple fare made with extra care after all.
Owen is surrounded by her pile of toys and gifts from everyone today, and there would be more tomorrow at that. Ken and I work on unboxing as much as we can for her as she makes Walter and Rye play ponies with her. Di was reading her new book as Shirley and Wynnie went out for a walk.
"So another Christmas gone and done," Ken says out loud yawning.
"So it seems," I say nodding my head. My new pair of pointe shoes in my hand from Walter and Rye as I was still looking at the plate of plum puffs that no one has dared to eat just yet.
"Oh I got a notice from the allergy doctor in Halifax finally, he says he can fit her in the new year? I was thinking I can take the ferry over and spend the weekend with Nan and Chris if it's all right with you anyway? There's no point in both of us going or driving there and paying to leave the island?"
"Oh sure, I guess that works for me," Ken says after a minute, still quiet.
"You okay?" I ask him out of concern.
"Yeah it's all good, just tired," Ken says flashing one of his old smiles.
"Up late talking to Victoria?" I tease him, "What's that time difference of almost four hours?"
"No, she was at a party with her parents," Ken says shaking his head. "Honestly the way it's starting to look, she'll be moving back if she gets this job." He says so nonchalantly that I frown.
"You don't think she would choose to stay to be with you?" I ask him.
"It's really not that simple Rilla," Ken says sighing getting up and grabbing the bag of torn wrapping papers. "Would you expect Tristan to turn down a job of a lifetime because you wanted him to stay without any reasons beyond wanting him to stay? I can't leave Owen, and she's not bound to this place and deserves her own choices?"
He gave up his own dreams when he found out I was pregnant hadn't he? Didn't he deserve someone to choose him for once?
"I guess I would want him to do what is best for him?" I say quietly not telling him about the break-up. Hell my parents think he's back home for the holidays and none of my siblings really asked about him yet.
I sigh to myself, before giving in and grabbing a plum puff from the plate on the table. I shove it in my mouth. It's not exactly like Aunt Marilla's but it still sends my senses into overload, that find myself crying.
"Hey, hey," Ken says grabbing the box of tissues. "It's Christmas there shouldn't be any tears...she wouldn't want you to have tears especially while eating plum puffs." He tells me as I wrap my arms around him sobbing that I miss her as I soak his shirt.
I hope that everyone is enjoying this, life is really up and down lately and writing this story helps me keep a decent frame of a mind and any sort of feedback is always appreciated and cherished. We are coming to the tipping point, though! I've worked really hard making sure this build up and set up for Rilla works for both of them and that it felt natural as I wrote it. I knew I would have a to tread lightly, and I knew ultimately that it would have to be Rilla to approach Ken in this story. I hope everyone enjoys the next few chapters. There may not be a chapter next week as I am a busy bee working two jobs as well.
Tina.