Mab looked around herself. She couldn't see anything. No, she could see herself, but everything else was black. No walls, no floor, no ceiling above her, she was just surrounded by the absolute Nothing. Had she lost? Was that the end of the Old Ways?

Mab tried to explore the area, but there indeed was nothing, no matter where she walked.

"Where of all gods am I?"

"You're dead!", said a voice behind her.

Mab whirled around. There stood a young woman with dark brown hair. Mab was startled at her sight.

"You… this cannot be."

"Queen Mab of the Old Ways – it seems to me your mission wasn't successful.", the other said and gave her a reproachful look.

"Don't look at me like that! I have tried everything!", Mab exclaimed.

"Ts ts ts, but at what cost… so many, many, many, many victims." The other woman shook her head theatrically.

"But I didn't kill you!", Mab replied. "You, Gwledyr of Dyfed, knew perfectly well, what price it would cost you to conceive a magical child."

Mab seemed upset.

"I know you didn't", Gwledyr answered, "and I don't blame you for my death."

She was looking directly into Mabs eyes, her expression somewhat sad.

"But obviously someone else does.", she said meaningfully.

Mab frowned. "So what happens now? I'm dead you say?", she asked.

"We are talking," the other declared, "and I am dead indeed."

Mab shook her head. Not believing what she had heard. She tried to remember about what might have happened, but only fragments were blurring through her mind.

"This cannot be the end. I have to get out of here!", she said.

Looking up again she found that Merlins mother had disappeared.

"Poor poor… poor Queen."

Mab could hear her voice echoing through the space.

"Why do you always try to mess with powers greater than yours?"

The voice was fading away. Desperately Mab was looking around, scared of being alone again. Where had she gone?

"Don't go!", she shouted. "I don't' want to stay here!"

"You can't fight fate.", the other voice sounded again.

"PLEASE!", Mab yelled.

Silence was turning a small moment to eternity.

"As you wish…"

Suddenly Mab felt like she lost her balance. The black unreal floor seemed to quaver. Then the ground under her feet gave way and was gone. She felt herself falling, falling down into nothing. A scream was leaving her mouth when she was vanishing in the deep.

Merlin had slept uneasy, but at least he had gotten some rest. For two days they had been on this island now. Most of this time he had spent looking after Mab and trying to avoid father Abbot. To his luck the priest and his fellows soon got distracted by the important news the messengers one by one brought to Avalon. The whole world seemed to be in tumult. He decided to see, if Rupert had anything to say about this.

When he was reaching the stables, the horse was greeting him with delight.

"Merlin alas, how are the things going?", he wanted to know.

"Well our dear Mab is not dead yet. Actually it even seems like her inner wounds have started healing. Maybe the herbs are doing their job on her."

Merlin pulled some hay batches toward Sir Rupert.

"Yes herbs have immense power, now you know why I never get sick!"

Merlin could only smile on his horses comment. Maybe he was right and maybe he should put some trust in the healing skills of the nuns. Something else lay on his mind.

"Sir Rupert, have you heard about the rumors concerning a new war?"

"Well that was quite predictable." Merlin frowned. "You see that's how history goes," the horse was pointing out, "A king is dying leaving a power vacuum with no rightful heirs; so everyone is trying to fill in."

Merlin was surprised how wisely his old companion was always judging situations. He only wished Arthur would have not died so early, if he just had lived a little longer…

"Then the same thing would still have happened.", the horse interfered. "It is not your fault, Merlin, that Arthur rather was chasing after the Holy Grail, than he was thinking about ensuring his progeny."

"You are probably right.", Merlin sighed. "And what about the Saxons?"

"What should be with them?", the horse was asking.

"When they take over the country, it will be bad times for Christianity.", he explained.

But Rupert only vehemently shook his head. "Merlin don't you think, you have interfered enough in human politics?"

After his conversation with Sir Rupert he had gone to see Mab again. He had wanted to ensure himself that her state had not worsened.

When he saw her now, deathly pale and lying motionless on her bed, his heart sunk again. But touching her forehead told him, that at least her temperature seemed normal again. Still her breathing was very shallow and she wasn't moving at all. A young nun was approaching the room followed by two other sisters.

"You have to leave.", she exclaimed, "We are changing her bandages now."

Merlin nodded and made his way to the door, his shoulders sunken with sagging steps.

"Do not despair!", he heard the sister say. "God will save her!"

If you knew, he thought.

Leaving the room and he headed back to the dormitories.

This procedure was repeated the following days. First he would go down to the stables for a talk with Sir Rupert, and then he would see after Mab. The monks kept on praying and the nuns went on treating their patient. But there wasn't much of a change in her state. The sisters told him her wounds were healing slowly, but without another life sign of her he was not going to be optimistic.

She wasn't feeling the impact, when she finally landed on solid ground once more. How could she apparently be dead? She existed, didn´t she?

When she looked up she saw that she was surrounded by large hedges. No usual hedges of course. Dark tendriled and impenetrable plants with thorns were reaching highly in the air with no sight of their top. I didn't matter; the sky or ceiling was as unreal as the ground. Mab made her way through the strange twilight. This area was no bit better than the Nothing she had been in before.

The hedges turned out to be a labyrinth. Obviously it was up to her to find a way out. Maybe the way out would also be her way back. Gwledyr may have arranged this on her pleadings. Or if it was not her, death himself may have given her another chance.

'You can't fight fate'

Was this supposed to mean, she was to stay here forever in this no man's land?

But why had Gwledyr appeared after all?

Thinking of that, she remembered Merlin.

'But obviously someone else does' blame you, it was echoing in her mind.

Could she really have meant it that way? What was Merlin doing right now? Was it on his behalf that she was here – did he actually kill her? Did he ban her to some hell?

The last thing she could remember was him beating her to the ground. Then everything had gone black and she remembered smelling smoke. If he did kill her, then it was useless. She couldn't go back there, what was left at all?

Seeing his hatred again and being fought by every being in this world.

She gave a sigh. Standing here would bring her nothing. She could as well try to find some way out of here by wandering around a little.

But the little bit of wandering turned into hours and then into days – at least so she believed.

She was so tired but unable to give up. She felt responsible for the lives she had saved. A distant memory somewhere hidden in her mind like a melody…

It felt like an eternity that she was wandering through these dead gardens seeing nothing but thorny grey hedges.

Hearing no sound, seeing no light and feeling no warmth she became weary. Grey, it seemed to her, was the biggest expression of a miserable nonexistence.

All the tales were told, all the orchids gone, lost in her own world, now she'd care for dead gardens…

It must have been weeks and it would become years.

No wandering anymore she thought.

Exhausted she sat down. She just wanted to close her eyes and to stop being.

"If I were you, I wouldn't do that!", she heard right in the moment as she lay down her body.

Startled she gave a quick jump. She spun around to face a slightly amused Ambrosia.

"I wouldn't dare to fall asleep here!", this one repeated.

Mab frowned, but approached her cautiously.

"Why not?", she asked.

"Ah because if you settle down your royal butt and start a catnap, the last bit of your soul is going to fade away.", Ambrosia shot back.

"So what does it matter? I'm dead anyway", Mab replied.

"Oh come on. The Mab I know would still fight, even if she were all in bones."

Mab didn't answer.

"You obviously aren't dead.", Ambrosia continued, "Your soul is not like the immortal soul of a human."

Mab still didn't understand. So the old woman got on telling her.

"If we die our souls are transferred, but if you do, yours fades away."

Pointing at her she meant: "so seeing you here means, that somewhere you still must be alive." Mab let out a gasp. She was not used to being lectured by Ambrosia, especially when she had to admit, that the woman seemed to be right.

Ambrosia didn't let herself be deterred.

"I suppose you should walk on and find a way back."

Mab shook her head.

"I have been walking for ages and there seems to be no end at all!"

"Oh please do not let me interfere with your dying plans.", Ambrosia was snapping back at her.

Playing with a thorny tendril she gave Mab a moment to think about her words.

"But what if I can't find it? What if there is no way out? I'm feeling more and more weary."

Ambrosia gave her a serious look.

"You are running out of time. Do not rely onto some lucky incident. You cannot always rely on the help of others.", the old woman turned directly towards her, "do something!"

"You hate me for killing you, don't you?", Mab asked feeling challenged by the old one.

But Ambrosia only gave a laugh.

"Oh yes I forgot the mighty ego of our almighty Queen, responsible for each heart stroke of an eighty year old woman on this planet."

"What do you mean by th…-"

"I would not talk to you if it were that way.", Ambrosia interrupted her. "Now go and see what you can do!"

Before Mab could reply something, Ambrosia had vanished. Alone again she was and now completely confused. This had been the second person from her past whose death had been somehow related to her actions. Who else might turn up here?

So if this was not death for her… what a strange damnation it would it mean being trapped here but getting the absolution from people from her past.

She decided to hold onto Ambrosias words. She would walk on, until she found some way out of these endless dead gardens.