The sound of many hooves woke him up one morning. Merlin was squinting against the sun. Did he really hear horses? It could only mean there were more messengers arriving. Yawning he got out of his bed. Stretching his legs he was listening to the voices under his window. When he heard someone mention Arthurs name he sharpened his ears. He decided to leave his room. Better he was looking after the new arrivals.

When he headed down the hall he was met by the leader of the group that had woken him so early in the morning. It was Gawain, the son of King Lloth and the long time loyal friend of Arthur.

Gawain looked up in surprise seeing Merlin. The troubled events of the last days clearly had left their traces on his face. Dark circles were framing his eyes and a large scar, cut in there by Mordred's axe, was flaunting on his right cheek.

"Gawain, what is it that brings you here?", Merlin asked.

The young lord sighed. "We are here to pay our last respects to Arthur. This is the place where his tomb will be."

A sting in his heart, Merlin gulped, his throat to dry to say something.

He had not thought about this. Seeing Arthur die had been one thing. It had driven him mad and in his madness he just had rushed on leaving the corpse behind. He had cried and screamed and shouted to the Lady of the Lake. Yes and he had come to the decision to kill Mab. But to what had this led in the end?

Mab was here now and so was Arthur.

Some nobles and knights appeared behind Gawain followed by father Abbot. The monk saw him. "Ah Merlin there you are.", he said aloud. "As I see you are already informed. Will you help us please in preparation of the funeral?"

Horror widened Merlin's eyes.

But Abbot conciliatorily said, "Will you show our guests some rooms and see if you can help them bringing their baggage up here from the stables?"

Relieved he endorsed and made his way with them.

Later in the evening the king's men sat in the great dining hall. Some of them talking, some just dozing. All of them seemed stressed and weary. They had brought up the coffin earlier. Arthur had been laid out in the chapel. The priests had anointed the former king and now read their prayers to him. Tomorrow he would be brought to his grave never seeing the sun again.

Merlin had not visited him. He could not bear seeing his protégé laying there only a mere corpse. Even the thought of it gave him horrors. Instead of that he had gone to Mab sitting next to her bed and watching her dead like sleep.

Who was victim and who was the offender?

It seemed so easy changing the roles from saint to villain and from villain to saint. He didn't know what was right, knowing that he had done terrible things too. He had made his mistakes in trusting Uther or in using Arthur as his own puppet just like Mab had been using Mordred. And even Arthur had made his mistakes in leaving his country and wife just for chasing a legend. So, all of them shouldn't have tossed the first stone.

The squeaking of the door was pulling him out of his reverie.

Gawain entered. "Merlin, I j—", he stopped.

His eyes fixated on Mab. He seemed to recognize her. The woman he had seen by Mordreds side. In that moment the young knight realized, that it had been her who had brought up Mordred on the plan. And Mordred had killed his father and Arthur. And it had been her he had heard stories about as little boy; the very one witch who supposedly had been there before Camelot had fallen victim to the blaze.

Wasn't she the archenemy of them all?

The nemesis of Merlin, Arthur and all pious Christians, so why the hell was she here and still alive?

"Merlin what are you doing with her?", he finally brought out. "I hope you are planning something on her defeat – or what has this madness to mean?"

Gawain was furious and Merlin obviously at a loss of words again. How could he explain this to him? That he was saving their nemesis just because he was feeling sentimental, because he was feeling pity and because he wanted to keep something of his old life?

"Gawain, she is no more a danger to us.", he declared.

But the knight only vigorously shook his head.

"Merlin, are you trying to tell me, that you are going to let her come away with this? She is responsible for Arthur's death!"

"I know, but I am too, and Mordred is; just like Arthur himself in the end."

Gawain was not accepting his point. The knight had his hand on the hilt of his sword, ready to pull it out to end the life of the murderer of his king.

"Gawain, please killing her will gain us nothing!", he pleaded. "It won't bring your father or Arthur back nor will it satisfy your hunger for revenge. Trust me. I have tried."

"But this is betrayal! Merlin you are betraying Arthur! Not only by letting his murderer get away, but you are even helping her!"

"His murderer was Mordred! And he is dead!", Merlin shouted.

With lower voice he continued: "And she probably is as well. I guess she will never wake up again."

Merlin looked straight into Gawain's eyes.

"Let it go, there has been enough blood spilled."

Gawain let his hands fall down. But anger was still evident in his expression.

"I promise you, if she ever crosses my way outside the borders of this island, I will finish her off!"

With that remark Gawain left the room furiously snapping the door.

Merlin sighed. Of course the knight was angry and of course he wouldn't understand. How could Gawain, when even Merlin did not quite understand it himself?

The next morning Arthur was carried to his grave, accompanied by the chants of the monks and the sobs of the nuns. Merlin watched the procedure from afar. He could see the young knight amongst them. Gawain just turned around for a second but when he saw Merlin's gaze upon him he firmly turned away again. He had not spoken to him since their argument last evening.

Again tears were gathering in his eyes. So Merlin left the scene. Maybe he would return later saying goodbye to his king and pupil.

Gawain didn't speak to him for the rest of that day. And he would not have done so if Merlin had not visited him before the departure of the knights on the day after. The young lord was saddling his horse and pulling his baggage on the horses back. Yanking at the laces he tried to ignore the approaching wizard.

"So you are leaving?", Merlin asked.

"As you can see.", Gawain answered shortly.

"And where are you going, now that Camelot has fallen?"

"Back to my father's land. I have to protect our people in Lodainn."

"Against the Saxons?", Merlin asked.

Gawain just shrugged his shoulders. Merlin didn't understand.

"Who is taking the place of Arthur?"

Gawain was laughing bitterly following that question.

"Everyone wants and no one can."

Merlin frowned.

"Constantine of Cornwall, the son of Conomor ap Tutwal, will try becoming High King now, he has the most men on his side."

Gawain mounted his horse.

"But the other lords don't approve, and instead of joining together to fight the Saxons they are threatening each other with battles."

It was like Sir Rupert had told Merlin. Struggles for power tore the land apart and new forces used their chance. So the young lord had to fear his neighbor lordships and the gathering Saxons in the south.

"I bid you farewell then and wish you to be successful in defending your people!", Merlin said.

"Farewell master Merlin.", Gawain responded without sympathy in his expression.

Giving a command he and the other riders took off leaving for their homeland.

Merlin stood there for a while watching them disappear on the horizon.

A nudge by Sir Rupert's mouth on his shoulder told him not worry any further.