Where should he go from here? Again he was uncertain if he should return to Camelot or to what at least was left of the royal court or if he should betake himself to a place where he may find former allies. But of course there were none left of them. He had to avoid those areas which now were centers of struggles between Britons and Saxons. In his indecision Merlin made his way southwards passing fields of the old Dummonian territories. Maybe he just would have to go home. On the other hand, once there, he easily could travel forth into Kernow. If he wanted to find some pure pagan mystical place, that could help Mab somehow, chances were good if he turned westwards, were no Roman nor Christian culture ever had set food. The most western reign of Britain, now belonging to Constantine of Cornwall, had been the place where Mab had forged her plans about Mordred becoming the High King. He could understand now why she had chosen this area as a basis for her resistance. He had no idea if the castle of Dun Tagell, where she had lived with Moragan and Mordred would still be occupied.
The summer was already moving to its end. And soon the countrymen would bring in their harvest and prepare for the colder months of the year. And even though it was still not autumn it seemed as if there was a chill like some foreboding in the air. Maybe he only was exaggerating things in an overstressed mind. Lost in his thoughts Merlin didn't give further attention to his surroundings trusting Rupert to find the right way.
By noon they were reaching the settlement of Twyverton. Here he would usually turn north heading for the little wood surrounded village of Barum, where he had his little hut. But he could also continue on the old Roman road from Cryditon to Dun Tagell. He was curious what changes he would find there now that Mordred and Morgan had gone. From there he could start his search for old pagan cult places, where he believed there could be sources of magic to reinvigorate the powerless fairy queen in his arms. There were many ancient places in the moors. And without a real destination it wouldn't be that much of a long way round he thought. He still could return to his hut in the next days.
Of course it was a great advantage having a magical horse on his side, for Sir Rupert was much stronger, more persistent and faster than any horse in this world – even being of such an old age by now.
Tugging Mab a bit closer and rearranging the blanket on her to protect her body against the wind he gave his horse the command to move on.
Passing Cryditon he noticed, how rural and wild the countryside still was. The area consisted of wide areas full of lush green rushes and moorland. Only small forests could be found aside the rivers. These parts were still much more bound to its old pagan inhabitants. And even Rome's influence just had reached to Caer-wysg, which they had called Isca Dumnoniorum – city of the Dummonians. So the more western areas, the moors and forests Merlin now was traveling through seemed still wild and untouched. Now and then Cairns were marking the route they had to take. And further on next to the road Merlin could see some of the old Standing Stones. The maen hir belonged to the ancient pagan folks. But nowadays these old cult places were deserted and abandoned. But in return he had actually seen several stone crosses in the villages. He passed them just as he passed the wild tors and ancient hill forts of the people of old.
The sun was slowly setting. They would not make it to Tintagel this evening; they had barely reached the area of Goon Brenn. So he decided it would be the best to find a resting place for the night.
He kept looking around the countryside, seeing not much but open land and rocks.
Not very protective against the wind, he thought.
He already began to scold himself for not having thought about the distance earlier, when he saw the stones.
Another ancient place, once it had been a tomb for a chieftain – the now empty Cist-veyn held enough space for the two travelers.
He stopped Rupert. Got off and placed Mab against the capstone.
Then he prepared some blankets inside the cist to pad it out.
From the corner of his eye he saw a flicker.
His heart made a jump.
Watching closely as he approached Mab, he waited.
Nothing happened; there was nothing, perhaps just his imagination.
He carried her down into the cist and softly he laid her onto the blankets – then he prepared to make a small fire in front of the entrance.
Roasting himself some ham for his bread he watched the darker growing sky. His eyes were fixating the flames of his little fire. Starring at their dance he lost himself in thoughts.
Mab fell. Below her there were cliffs and waves rocking against those.
She could hear them roaring now. No more silence. Load and deafening.
With increasing speed rocks and water seemed to come closer.
Fear. No. Terror filled her heart.
She tried to brace herself for the impact, but that one came sooner than she had anticipated.
Not on the rocks but on an invisible barrier her fall came to an abrupt halt.
She felt like being torn apart and pressed together in the same time. All air left her lungs. Her vision became blurry and suddenly it completely faded into darkness.
She couldn't see, couldn't hear, couldn't breathe and everything hurt suddenly – like there were thousand needles stinging her whole body. She tried to writhe but managed nothing but a moan bursting out into heavy coughs.
Merlin startled up, when he heard Mab's hard coughing. He turned and quickly he bent down to her, taking her by the shoulders trying to comfort her. He couldn't believe it. After all those weeks finally she gave a life sign. But it seemed a worrisome one.
She wasn't dying now, was she?
Mab was gasping and panting for air.
When her insides finally filled with the cold air, her body seemed to calm down again. Somewhere there were strong hands supporting her weight.
She could not hold herself up. Mab could hear a concerned voice in the distance. But quickly all strength left her again. It seemed to her that all energy had left her body again.
She felt heavy and tired and before she could think more about it, her consciousness slipped away, leaving her fast asleep.
Worried out of his mind Merlin had held her, calling her name, but she hadn't been reacting. Gently he had pulled her back down. Mab had fainted again.
She was sleeping now, really sleeping. This was different than before; she didn't seem like dead anymore. Her cheeks were slightly flushed in red. Her breast was heaving steadily.
He couldn't help but to lay his arms around her, bending down brining his ear onto her chest.
Tum tum tum… he heard the heartbeat. The sound of it gave him a strange feeling of relief. A tear was rolling down his cheek.
Morning came and then came noon. The sun was high up and the clouds were traveling over the Cornish meadows. The night had been cold. But the day had warmed up again. From time to time a soft breeze was grazing over the blades of grass.
Her head ached; this is how humans must feel after wassail, she thought.
She tried blinking, dazzling light stung in her eyes.
She gave a moan and tried to get up, unsuccessfully. When she finally managed to open her eyes, she only did it to meet some dark blue eyes piercing into hers – they belonged to Merlin.
She winced back immediately closing her eyes shut again. He is going to kill me.
Nothing happened.
After a few seconds she opened them again, but he was still there.
Instinct took over. She tried to struggle- but not having any strength to move at all, she could only cower and gaze fearful at Merlin.
"It's alright, don't be afraid!", Merlin tried calmingly. "Everything is okay, shhhh shhh you are safe."
Her panic must have been obvious to him. Gently he placed a hand under her neck, lifting her head slightly he said: "Here drink this." Skeptically she looked at him, pressing her lips hard together.
Something wasn't right here. But she could not remember what it was.
"It's just tea.", he said, raising the cup to her mouth.
Reluctant she parted her lips unwillingly swallowing some of the warm liquid.
It tasted bitter and left a strange starchy feeling on her tongue. Then she realized what it was, that was wrong. She never ever had drunk tea before. She never had drunk anything human-made before, least of all something simple like tea.
As a Fae as she was, she didn't need mortal nourishment.
So, why was he giving tea to her? And why couldn't she move? And why was it Merlin, who was offering the tea? Thousands of questions began storming through her mind.
But all she could finally ask was: "What happened?"
Her voice sounded weirdly thin. Different than before. A moment of silence passed between them.
"Don't you remember?", Merlin asked his hopes for redemption already crushed.
"What should I remember?", she replied.
Pausing for a thought, she tried to recall the recent happenings. There had been a battle. Mordred had fallen. She had wanted to destroy Merlin.
Well that obviously didn't work out, she thought sarcastically. But how did she end up like this? Weak and nursed by her enemy.
For a few moments neither of them said a word. In both of their minds the thoughts seemed to follow in quick succession.
Merlin wasn't sure what he should to tell her now. She just had woken up again, how could he possibly tell her, that it had been him, who nearly had killed her? How could he explain his change of mind to her?
"Our battle is over, Mab.", he started. "You have been… let's say… a little bit indisposed for the last weeks."
Mab looked at him inquiringly. But he continued. "This is the first time you are awake for months now."
So something must have gone absolutely wrong, it dawned on her. She felt awful. Her head still was throbbing. The situation got no inch better.
"So why am I with you?", she asked. He didn't answer immediately, so she tried to look around. "And where the heck am I?"
Merlin decided that the latter question was the easier one to answer.
"We're on the road to Dun Tagell Castle." He continued: "Yesterday we passed Cryditon, and when nightfall came, I had to look for a resting place."
Mab looked a bit irritated. "That's a tomb Merlin.", she stated. "Couldn't wait to lay me to rest, could you?"
He looked at her quite perturbed, searching for the adequate answer, Tears jumping to his eyes.
"Well .. you... know it is a little bit more complicated than that.", he said.
Looking for words he hesitated.
"I feared all the last days and weeks, that I would have to find you a grave, that you .. you also.. would pass away."
They both held each other's gaze. That was odd, how could Merlin be so concerned about her?
He felt uncomfortable, too. He realized, that he never had thought ahead, about what he would do, when she would be back again.
He had never given a thought about their future. Did he expect she would thank him? Did he expect them to fall into each other's arms and be all forgiving towards each other? He realized he had no idea what to expect from a situation like this. Instead he wished to distract himself from that matter, to deal with these problems and questions later.
He remembered that it was time to get up now.
Breaking their eye contact first appeasingly he went, "But don't… don't let us agonise over it now."
He got up, and began to gather up their luggage. Mab again noticed that something was really wrong with her. She couldn't get up. Even lifting an arm seemed an enormous exertion of strength. Another time she tried to lift her upper body, only to fall back exhausted. Merlin, who was already lading their stuff onto Sir Rupert, saw her efforts. For a moment he paused his actions and watched her.
With a slight grin on his face he said: "Wait, I'll get you up."
"My weakness seems to please you, Merlin", she hissed looking quite offended.
"No no, it's just good to see the old stubborn 'always fighting Queen Mab' again.", he said.
Mab sighed. What have I done to deserve this?
Again he cradled her into his arms, tugged the blankets around her and lifted her into the saddle. Taking his place behind her he pulled his arms protectively around her. For a short moment Mab had the desire to protest, but in a swift second this desire was gone and she was feeling deadly tired again. Resting against Merlin's warm body she noticed half sleeping that the horse had set its hooves into motion. Not able to ponder anymore about it she just fell asleep again.