She Tried
This is written from Suzanna Kirkwood's point of view about what happened to her and her thoughts about Sara, it's just a random idea that suddenly jumped into my head, well thanks to the book that I'm reading at the moment. Well enjoy the read and feel free to leave any reviews that you feel are appropriate. Just a final note as there are possible spoilers for Homebodies in Series 4, and as always I don't own anything that you recognise.
When I was sat there in her car I knew that she would help me, even though I didn't want the help. Or maybe I did, I don't know what I was thinking at that point. I didn't mean to scare her when she got into the car, I just didn't know what else to do.
I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't pregnant, or worse. I didn't need her to get them to do the other tests on me, I didn't want them to be done, I just couldn't find my voice to tell them to stop. My legs just wouldn't carry me out of the door, it was like I was watching it all happen, like it wasn't me in that hospital room, almost like it never happened.
I let her down. When I saw his eyes looking at the glass, almost as if he could see right through and was looking straight into mine. I just stood there, completely still. I suppose I was thinking that if I didn't move he wouldn't be able to see me. I just stood there, all I needed to do was write down that one number, just one little number and it all would have been over there and then. Again it was like I was watching someone else, I kept thinking why me over and over again. I didn't move until he was gone from that side of the glass. I left as quickly as I could, but not before I saw the look on her face.
She tried to help, I know that she did. In the end I was the one that failed and that's why I'm not there anymore. I never wanted to die, not by his hands at least, but it is my fault I just wish that I could tell her that and stop her blaming herself.
I was still there when she got to my driveway; she just stood there and stared at me lying on the tarmac. I was stood two feet away from her, I don't know if she could feel me there. I wanted her to, just so that she could tell that I was free from all of it. I saw her sitting in her car crying. I can't tell you how much I wanted to tell her that it wasn't her fault, it was never her fault and it never will be.
I let her down; I just wish that she could see that. She tried, she really did.
The books called 'The Lovely Bones' by Alice Seabold, basically it's about a girl who was murdered and how she's watching everyone that was left behind. Finally thank you for reading this!