"I need your help," Di says in a panic over the phone.
"For what?" I ask her, puzzled at the urgency in her voice.
"Our model just quit on us and I don't know anyone else who is tiny like you, or has an ounce of experience posing"
"Wait, model? What are you talking about?" I say even more confused as keep watch on Owen as I step out on the patio with the door open, but the screen closed.
"My friends and I, well we are opening our own shop for bridal gowns. Yea it's top secret and mom and dad don't know that theatre wasn't working out. I don't know, but we did this crazy thing and we made this wedding dress for someone one day, and then her friend wanted one and next thing we have this list and I don't know but we found this space that we can afford and yeah. But our model for the photos in the shop just up and left us dry and I need you. We can come to you, but we really need you, actually if you know anyone who can help who is a size 12, or even a 16-18 I would also greatly appreciate it."
"Lillie is about a 12? But she's a bit more on the colourful side, pink hair side of fashion."
"We can work with that," Di says rushing in.
"Umm, have you tried Alice Parker? She's super pretty and has some curves, not sure what size she is though?" I say next
"Shit right! I didn't think about her!" Di says.
"But who is this mysterious partner in crime?" I ask her curiously.
"She's just a friend," Di says brushing me off. "I am seeing someone though, or I sorta am anyway, his name is Lucan and it's new I don't know really. We met at this thing and it just sorta happened. He was asking for my number, and I was drunk enough to give it. I don't know, but apparently, I'm dating a guy?"
"You're dating a guy, wow?" I ask rather shocked. While Di has always been open in her preferences, though she hadn't dated guys, and always stuck with the females. "What brought this about?"
"I don't know, he's really outdoorsy, wears a lot of plaid a bit of a meathead sometimes, but I like him?" Di says sighing. "Trust me it's news to me as well, Oh best part, he's a fisherman—with no college or university and doesn't really give a shit about it."
"All right then…wow. Well, I hope it works out and thank you for one day making Ken appear to be all not that horrid of a concept."
"God they are going to hate him aren't they, and I thought they let up on Ken?"
"I don't think letting up on Ken is them letting up, they just don't want me bouncing around friend's couches. It's like the lesser of two evils to them?" I tell her quietly.
"How is living with him?"
"It's good? It's easier to juggle Owen these days with both of us and her in one place, but it's also hard because she's always around and not always napping as much so yeah?" I say awkwardly.
"Cramping your style is she?" Di laughs. "Still crawling into your bed?"
"Yes and no?" I tell my sister. "She knows to knock if the door is closed, but honestly I'm in bed at like 8 pm with here for work half of the week, so it's not like that helps either? I think we got some smexy at like 3 am the other morning? Seriously I don't even. Know how mom and dad even managed to have seven kids I'm lucky to manage sex more than twice a week right now."
"Will you be stuck on morning all of the contracts?" Di asks.
"I'll eventually switch over to afternoon/evening," I tell her as Owen comes up to the window with Jack. " I gotta go, Jack needs to be let out. Send me the details, I'll figure a day that works for me and Ken that I can get away for a few hours and I'll talk to Lillie for you."
"Sounds good and thank you, thank you," Di says. "Oh, happy Graduation Day tomorrow!" She remembers last minute.
I find myself laughing and shaking my head. If she only knew how much I was dreading the day.
"Which dress?" I ask Owen holding up two different dresses, one a light pink that I had I had found in a second-hand store with Olivia one day. It was a light dusty rose, with dark pink florals. It had tie-able straps that hung over my shoulders in a way that I liked.
"Pink," she chirps from her spot on the bed. I smiled and nod my head as I stand in my underwear and bra. I undo the zipper and step into the dress until have it pulled up.
"Ken?" I call out.
"Yes, dear?" He says poking his head into the room, hair still wet from his shower.
"Can you zip me up?" I ask him, walking closer to him. He sneaks a kiss on the back of my shoulder, as he pulls the zipper into its resting place at the base of my neck.
"What doing?" Owen asks still only in her own little panties and tights.
"We're going to see mommy graduate college," Ken says explaining to her.
"Me pretty dress too?" She asks us looking down at her half-naked self.
"Of course," I tell her, "but first what shoes should I wear?" I ask her and she jumps off the bed and races towards my closet, looking at me before my small pile of heels. She picks out a pair that is velvet and black after much deliberation.
"Thank you," I tell her. "Shall we find you a dress?" I watch her nod her head enthusiastically, I kiss Ken on my way to her room.
I watch Owen go to her closet and stand there with great determination. She looks back at me, before taking a pink sparkly dress from the hanger and holding it up to me. It's similar to mine but different.
I help her put it on, zipping it up and tying the sash.
"Daddy look," Owen says twirling away when she says Ken buttoning his shirt for the day. He compliments her and soon keeps her occupied when I finish getting ready by putting on my make-up and pinning back some of my curls away from my face. I needed a haircut, I noted as I look at the straggly ends.
I'm not looking forward to seeing my parents, but they are there waiting as we approach the auditorium of the college.
I already feel a headache coming on.
'Grammy, Paw-paw!" Owen squeals as she races towards them.
"You look very nice," Dad says as I stop in front of him. "All of you," he says looking over Ken as he picks up Owen.
"I have to go pick up my gown and cap," I say awkwardly.
"We'll see you on the stage," Ken says quietly, hand resting on the small of my back.
"Rilla wait," Mom says before I could escape them.
"Aunt Marilla wanted you to have this when you graduated," Mom hands me an old familiar brooch, that had been somehow been made into a necklace. I remember playing with it as a child, memorized by the silver and fairly large purple stone. "It was supposed to be for your 20th birthday, but since that is only a few weeks away I thought now would be a better time."
I reach out for the chain gingerly, afraid that it would disappear. Don't cry, don't cry, I tell myself as mom takes it upon herself to fasten it around my neck. I still wear my little gemstone bootie that Ken bought me on my first mother's days. This chain is longer and sits lower, but still above the neckline of my dress.
"I really have to go," I say quickly. I tell Owen to be good and give Ken a quick kiss before I scurry off leaving him with my parents.
I find Lillie and Dahlia who have come back for the day, already in their robes. We hug each other fiercely.
"Oh I have missed you," I say to both of them. "How's your summer going?"
"Busy, but good," Lillie tells me, and Dahlia just shrugs. "Though what about you girl, that's a lot of changes!"
"Yeah, it has been, but It's been good," I say with a small smile. "Better, than what it has been anyway minus a few little hick-ups."
"What is life without a few hick-ups," Dahlia says nodding. "Though I have some news?"
"I hope the good kind?" I say cheekily.
"After much deliberation and talks between families, Deacon and I, well we're engaged," Dahlia says holding out her hand. "It will be a long engagement, of course as he finishing up his degree."
"Oh my god, congratulations," I say pulling her in for a hug. She was a little bit older than us, to begin with. "It's gorgeous, I'm glad it worked out."
"So no converting necessary?" Lillie says going in for a hug after me.
"No, he has proven himself respectful of my faith," Dahlia says with a small wicked grin. We both knew that they bent a few rules that were dared not talked about other than the confines of girl's night. "Though any children will be raised in both and have a choice to choose one day." She further explains as we hear someone call for attention.
Let's get this show on the road!
I don't expect Walter to show up, but when I find Ken and Owen after what feels like a lifetime. Walter is there with Rye with Mom and Dad. I hug both of them firmly.
"You didn't say that you were coming," I tell him, kissing his cheek.
"I had a few days off so we decided to come for a visit," Walter says. "Plus I can't miss my baby sister graduating college after all."
"Congratulations Rilla," Rye says before pulling out a bouquet of flowers. "I hope you like them, and my apologies for making everyone else look bad." Rye jokes.
"They are lovely, thank you," I say giving him another hug. "Owen and Ken got me flowers as well, but we left them at home," I tell him explaining.
We talk for a few more minutes as we wait for the crowd too thin before we make our way.
"Mommy?" I feel Owen tug on my gown and I bend down to pick her up when she leans into whispers in my ear and I nod my head.
"Excuse us for a moment please," I say. "The ladies need to find the washroom before we head out for photos?"
We spend the next half hour taking photos in my cap and gown, and then just in my dress. Taking turns for photos Owen wanted in every chance she could get. We browse the reception area, not wanting to stay longer. But I feed Owen some fruit and vegetables from the table as we make small talk and my other classmates and some of my professors come up as well to greet us.
Many of them say the same thing, 'You must be very proud,' 'Rilla is a talented young woman and will go far. I smile awkwardly as my parents agree and nod their heads, I can't quite forget how they tried to push me to university. All the arguments and fights, nights with a screaming baby and tired mornings when Mom pushed me to school.
In the end, I end up out for an early dinner with my parents. Ken took Owen home after we found her with half of the cupcake in her mouth. We weren't entirely sure if she consumed anything that might set off her allergies so Ken said he would keep watch as I had dinner alone with my parents. I shot him daggers at the suggestion, being along with my parents was the last thing I wanted! I had hoped for Walter and Rye to tag along, but they excused themselves as they wanted to meet up with a friend, as it was Walter's birth in two days and most likely have dinner out with them then.
So it was just me, sitting awkwardly with them eating my salad. It was going all right given everything that past two months as I filled them in on how and what work was like and how I was balancing everything.
Except because they are my parents they bring it up. They bring up the pregnancy test that Owen told them about.
"It happens, I'm not pregnant I know I'm not, end of story," I tell them, hoping my firmness would tell them it wasn't up for discussion.
"Well, you can get pregnant on the pill it's not fool-proof, it's why it's good to have a backup" I hear dad tell me. "Which is why every doctor will recommend a second method of contraception."
"Stop it?" I say setting down my fork in disbelief.
"Pardon" Mom says mouth agape.
"I said stop it, don't go there, because if you think I am answering that question. You are incorrect, you wouldn't dare ask Shirley and Wynnie that question, or Nan and Chris. So no, that is between Ken and me and what we feel is best for our relationship." My eyes narrow at them.
"We just asking if you are being safe," Dad says reiterating.
"No, you were one question away from asking what we are doing to ensure I don't get pregnant. Being safe is a yes or no, a noninvasive line of questioning. I get enough fishing from my co-workers about my life choices. I don't need it from you as well. As I said you wouldn't dare ask anyone else in this family that question who is above eighteen so you don't get to ask me that anymore and if you do I can rightfully and politely refuse and if you wish to stay on this hill and die upon it. I will leave right now and rethink everything." I tell him and it seems to quiet them.
"Thank you," I say stabbing my lettuce. "If it puts any worries to the bay, Ken and I agreed to not think about such things until I was twenty-six. Just about the same age, you were having Jem and Walter." I remind them.
"That a good age," Dad says gruffly and I merely shrug.
"If we decide to have more at all," I add on.
"I heard your friends invite you out tonight?" Mom says next. "Are you going to go?"
"Probably not? Ken has a gig which means someone has to watch Owen which is well me?" I say simply. "We have plans to build a fort and eat marshmallows," I tell them making it seem like it didn't matter, nor was I looking for any offers for babysitting.
"You seem to have a good schedule together?" Mom says carefully next and I shrug.
"It's less a schedule and who isn't working and other times it's just whoever asks first? Though he watches her if I sneak away to dance for an hour or go for a run and I'll do the same. Just really saving each other's sanity, I'm sure you remember that well enough?"
I know they probably want me to admit that parenting and adulting are harder now than it was at home, but I wasn't letting that happen anytime soon. Life was harder for personal time, money seems to come and go faster than ever.
They come up to the apartment, wanting to see Owen and leading them down the hallway of Ken's third-floor apartment was quiet. My keys jingle in my hands as I unlock the door. Always keep the door locked when you have a toddler I learned quickly.
I can see mom look around the apartment, picking out things mentally that had been in my room. Photos, pillows, and colourful blankets now had their own places among Ken's things. Photos of Owen and I, and my friends out at night dressed up and made up. I quickly turn around a pillow that Olivia has recently sent us as congratulations. Before Mom sits down on the couch next to Dad. The pillow was actually it was a set, but the others are less obvious. As one was in a chair that merely stated 'And Here.'
Ken cuts some cake that he bought for the evening and brings up cups of tea. Owen babbles as she makes a mess of her cake before running off to play in her corner. Clearly not being bothered by the cake she had consumed earlier today so far.
"I don't think I've ever been in here," Mom says honestly looking around. "I am surprised at the fireplace."
"Well, it's not much but it's nice and warm in the winter," Ken says simply as mom put down her plate on the coffee table.
"Your mother and I would like to propose a small truce to both of you," Dad says gruffly. "Given everything, and also for Owen as she seems to need some help adjusting to the changes. That we have dinner once a week as a family." Dad says.
"Dinner once a week?" I say stunned. "You don't make the others have dinner once a week." I find myself retorting.
"Most of your siblings, don't live down the road from us," Mom says next. "Even Shirley and Wynnie make time for dinner once a week, usually Sundays. We can do Fridays as they did in Gilmore Girls, though I am sure I am already too much Emily Gilmore for your liking, so any day that works for you and your father's schedule works for me." I watch her adjust herself, moving the pillow and realizing on the dark purple there are the words 'We Had Sex Here' stitched onto what is the front of the pillow.
"Rilla, seriously!" She exclaims scowling at that offensive pillow.
"Oh come on it's a joke, Olivia sent them over to us," I say reaching to take the pillow from her.
"It's highly inappropriate with children around," Mom counters back.
"Yep, totally channelling Emily Gilmore," I say under my breath. "I guess when she learns to read we'll hide them away," I say rolling my eyes and tossing it in the corner as I watch Dad turn to look at whatever pillow was near him.
"Do you really think we can do such things with a toddler around?" I say patience wearing thinner.
"Also Olivia?" Dad says holding up a pillow that had two hearts on it said. "Kneel Here'. His cheeks were tinged with pink as he carefully put it beside the couch. I realize he doesn't actually want an answer.
"I would say company as well, but I have a feeling that the company you would have would be the ones who find it funny," Mom says shaking her head.
"Me sleeps Grammy, Paw-paw?" Owen says zooming over with her backpack on her back.
"You want to spend the night?" Mom asks her face softening. "I think that would be all right with us if it's all right with your mommy and daddy?" She asks looking up at us and Owen looks at us.
"What about forts and marshmallows?" I ask her.
"Grammy, paw-paw?" She repeats and I sigh and motion for her to turn around. I dig through her bag.
"Well, you are going to need more than socks and do you need ten pairs of panties?" I ask her shaking my head.
We got Owen packed up and out the door with my parents just before dinner time. We spend the next few hours tidying up our space and I take a photo of the pillows and send it to Olivia with a message that my mom 'loved' them. Not.
By 9pm we decided to finally get ready for the evening.
"Well, that worked out better than expected," Ken says pulling on a black shirt he wears for when he plays with the band.
"So it seems," I say looking through my drawers and pulling out a silver backless top before I pull off my shirt and unhook my bra. I had changed out of my dress when I got back after all, and now I rifle through the top drawer and find the silicone pasties that I had for such occasions.
"I don't mean this how it is going to come out, so please don't take offence….but please tell me you are wearing something more thing pasties under that backless top?" Ken asks slightly worried.
"Well pants obviously, and if I wasn't?" I look at him, daring him to continue with anything that he might have in his head.
"I go braless all the time Ken, don't go getting all overprotective and jealous now," I say shaking my head. "I just spent the afternoon with my parents, being as civil as possible. If I want to wear some vintage tank top and no bra I will."
"Duly noted, and really wasn't trying to complain," Ken says hands up in the air towards me. "It's just hot….and if I have to send death glares all night I will." He adds one.
I shake my head at him. "Well, aren't you the lucky one who gets to take it off later tonight? Also, who is driving tonight?" I ask him.
"I'll drive, I don't usually drink much other than one beer which is gone by the time the night is over anyway," Ken tells me.
"Okay then," I say nodding my head as I wiggle into a pair of black skinny pants. "If you want to drink more I'm sure I can get Dahlia to drive us home?"
"Good to know but I'll be okay, this is sort of routine at this point for me," Ken says pressing a kiss to the back of my neck.
The bar is still quiet when we show up, but I help the guys unload their stuff before people do start flowing into the bar. I wave to my friends who squeal when they see me.
It doesn't take long for the place to fill up, and for the first time, I see just how many people come just to hear the band that Ken is in. He doesn't always sing, content on just playing guitar and harmonizing at times. He pulls me into his arms and kisses me deeply before the set starts. He tastes like beer, not something I entirely enjoy and he chuckles when I make a face.
"You're his girlfriend!" I hear and turn around to see two girls behind me. Part of me feels as if they got in from fake ids if that was even possible here? "You are so much prettier in person than on Instagram."
I smile weakly feeling signalled out. "Thank you?" I say unsure of their intent.
"So got a night out after all?" I hear Walter's voice from behind me and I excuse myself from the two strangers.
"Well, this is a place I didn't expect you to be," I say hugging him.
"Jesus, does your shirt have a back at all? You're like one step away from a wardrobe malfunction!" Walter says clucking his tongue.
"Stop it," I warn him. "It's a shirt, plus your guy is wearing a sheer shirt..."
"Yeah, I don't think that can be classified as a shirt I'm surprised Ken let you out of the house in it," Walter shakes his head ignoring my comment about Rye.
"Oh he complained, but he doesn't get to tell me what to wear," I tell him. "Also promised he can be the one to take it off later, so he made me promise to not drink that much to keep that promise," I tell Him to just annoy him further. "Also again, isn't Rye wearing a sheer tee-shirt?"
"Still has more coverage than yours," Walter says grinning and I roll my eyes at him and swat at him.
The night goes by fast as I dance probably for the last time with my friends and my brothers. It is bittersweet when you think about it long enough, it makes me think of my promises to Olivia and Miranda who are busy as ever with their lives, but we try to call as often as we can. Even Walter wasn't around as much as he used to be either.
The music dies down, letting some of the band take a small break as the stereo comes on.
I motion for Ken to come over with a finger and pull him onto the dance floor for a dance. Maybe it was the atmosphere or the slight buzz of alcohol that ran through my body as my mind flashes back to that night years ago. My red dress, the blurry images that were faded more than ever these days.
"Any requests tonight?" His bandmate Mike asks the crowd as the music stops.
"Mayers, Wonderland!" I hear someone shout.
"What do you say, Ken?" They ask him and he leans towards the microphone they hold out to him.
"I say that my girlfriend's brother is in the crowd and I like to keep some mysteries to myself so I don't get hunted down or punched again," Ken jokes and there is a bunch of awes in the crowd.
"I think the toddler you share together gives away that mystery," Walter hollers out. "But thank you for the warning I will leave you to your seat. I rather not listen to you sing about defiling my sister."
Walter comes towards us giving me a look before kissing my cheek. "Be good," he tells me before leaving the room.
I shake my head, but somehow make my way up towards the stage area more as Hank the other guitarist is playing the opening riff after taking the hint.
I raise my eyebrow to him and he grins as he takes his spot and I whistle at him.
We got the afternoon
You got this room for two
One thing I've left to do
I find rolling my eyes at him, though a grin is spread across my face. I sway to the music as Lillie and Dahlia come to me and pull me into more dancing with them. Still, I watch Ken who doesn't take his eyes off of me, I know this song. Who doesn't know this song? I just didn't think it would ever sound as sexy, as entrancing as it could be when it comes from someone you loved.
Something 'bout the way the hair falls in your face
I love the shape you take when crawling towards the pillowcase
You tell me where to go and Though I might leave to find it
I'll never let your head hit the bed Without my hand behind it
It makes sense that Walter didn't want to hear such things, but still in the corner of my eye. I can see him in the far back corner with Rye.
You want love? We'll make it
Swim in a deep sea of blankets
Take all your big plans and break 'em
This is bound to be a while
I shake my head at him when he winks at me, but a bubbly feeling takes over my body and it wasn't from the alcohol I had consumed. It was just the sheer amount of love I had for this man who stood in front of me.
Your body is a wonderland, and I'll use my hands
Hope everyone has had a good week!
If you have a moment to spare and tell me what you think it is always appreciated.
Tina.