Chapter 3:

Ruto and the Beast

Link Melee: (singing) "Tale as old as time. Song as old as rhyme. Ruto and the Beast." Oh. Hi!

…

LM: Take it away, Link!

Link: zzzzz… zzzzz…

LN: OMFG.

Sora: I'll do it. Sigh… Link Melee does not own LoZ, or any Kingdom Hearts games. Darn nerd doesn't have any of my games… (walks off)

LM: I also don't own Disney, or the movie/play/book/musical (which I saw at Derry HS last Friday -) of "Beauty and the Beast. Start - ! Wait a darn minute! SORA!

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Link and Sora have just left the Fairy's Fountain, only to be interrupted by that owl again.

"OH MY GOD! Will you just leave us alone," Spra screams at him. Then, Kaepora grabs them by his talons, and flies them away.

Seconds later, they land in a cloud of dust in Hyrule Field. After they brush themselves off, Link says, "Well, I guess we should go to Zora's Domain now, eh?"

On the way up, Kaepora Gaebora stops them. AGAIN! Then, Navi snaps. He pulls out a bazooka, and says in a Terminator accent, "Asta la vista, fouly!" He never knew what hit him.

Sora goes nut when he falls in the waterfall at Zora's Domain. "I'm drowning! I'm drowning! I'm drowning! I'm – Oh." He sees Link standing up next to him. He sighs, and runs in.

King Zora tells Sora what's going on, and then Sora falls down the waterfall for the game. This time, he really sinks. Link dives off, and also gets stuck. They fight to the top, and see some guy with huge muscles, and a life preserver in his hand. Link yells, "I see the light!" Sora covers his eyes, and says, "Dude, that's the sun shining off his muscles. The music from Baywatch plays as he runs in slow motion across the water.

After the two boobs are rescued, they ask, "Who are you?" He says, "Well, I'm David Hasselhoff." They both say, "Whoopee!" Navi says in a girly voice, "He's so dreamy." o.O?

They go outside, and Sora decides he wants to poke Jabu Jabu. Link backs up. "I don't think you should do that. He might-" Then, they are all sucked inside the giant fish.

Navi goes nuts again. He pulls out two needlers (HALO fun -), and blasts away at the octorocks. Within seconds, the door opens. Link walks through, and then Navi. As Sora gets near the door, it shuts on his face. After he gets up, he goes through his normal summoning tribute… Toldya I don't have any of his games…

Link is running away from Ruto, when the door is bust open by… yeah, you guessed it, the Beast. Link screams, then faints. Navi pokes him, and says, "He never used to do that before…" Ruto stares, then walks over, and curls his fur. "You know, you're kinda cute…" He responds, "Well, shucks…" They hold hands and skip out.

Link wakes up, and looks around. He stands up, and screams, "THAT STALKER FINALLY GAVE UP!" Sora sighs, then goes over to a platform and picks up the sapphire.

Link says, "Great! Now we can go see Zelda!"

Oh, finally. Now they can both get older. And more annoying.

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Sora: That wasn't in the script!

(flips through pages)

LM: Ah, but it was on your contract. (whips out paper book, and a telescope with 50 lenses) Look here.

Sora: (reading) "Must be able to grow older by 7 years." Oh snap.

Link: Hey?That's my line!

LM: This isn't, "A Link Story" for cryin' out loud!

Link: … So? Where's my girlfriend?

(jigglypuff runs out)

Jigglypuff: Come on, Link! Let's go on our date!

(both walk out)

LM: Seriously, Rynada. That's a weird match up.

Rynada: I know… heh heh…

END