Late July 2021

The opening of Di invites us to see her shop falls on a random day, but Ken drives us out to Halifax for it at her invitation. I take a day off of work to make a long weekend out of it.

We have Owen buckled into her seat, and for the first time, she is forward-facing in her seat. At least this way on the long drive we can easily hand her snacks or one of her juice or water cups. I'm a little nervous about it, given how stressed people were about keeping children rear-facing as long as possible. Still, she was getting too tall and heavy for her old car seat and we finally broke down and switched out the newer one that I got after the accident in Ken's car, this time letting her face forwards for the first time.

She looks out the windows in amazement, I had been worried about turning her but she is passed three at this point and if she didn't like it, we could turn her back until she was ready. Though so far she had no issues.

We sing the hours away in the car, laughing and stopping once or twice during the four-hour drive for bathroom breaks and leg stretches. As Owen wasn't used to long rides just yet when we finally pull into the familiar house that was Nan's I sighed.

Mom and Dad were staying at a hotel, but given our tight budget, Di asked Nan if we could stay at her place, which of course was fine. Di only had a small apartment for herself right now after all. Walter and Rye lived across the city, and Jem and Faith lived near the hospital of course. Though no one wanted to bother Faith with company and a toddler when Poppy was barely 6 months old at this point.

"I know, I look like sh—poop, I know, I can't breathe, my sinuses are messed up right now," Nan says before I even say hello to her. "Ken, it's nice to see you. Rilla you know where to go, my apologies for the cramped space, but it's just for the weekend anyway."

"Is it allergies?" I ask my sister who shrugs.

"I'm sure it will clear up at some point," Nan tells me and I watch her more. She's gained a few pounds since January. Not that I would say anything about it though, I may be strict about myself, but I would never judge another.

"Auntie Nana," Owen says holding up her doll from her birthday and Nan smiles at her.

"Come on, I dug out a few things for you," She takes Owen's hand and leads her over towards the kitchen.

We meet up at the shop the following day, as we come together as a family, most of us anyway. Walter is there, because he and Di have always been close, and Nan of course. Of course, Joy and Shirley were missing and their spouses and Jem were working but Faith popped in with Poppy who we all gushed over until Di showed up and let us in the door.

Mom and Dad are shocked, to say the least when Di, ushered us into the shop that was all set to open that Monday. It's light bright, with touches of jewel tones and stained wood.

"What is this?" Mom asks looking around. "I don't understand?"

"Maya and I, we opened own this place,' Di says nervously.

"You opened a bridal shop?" I hear mom asks for clarification, looking around at the dresses on the mannequin and a few hanging up.

"All those business courses you made me take….well, it helped a lot," Di tells her.

"How and why?" Mom asks confused, while Dad looked around quietly.

"Well, it started as something to do for extra money, and then one bride turned into three, and then six. We made some prom dresses and we were working from my living room and it just felt right. We were already looking for commercial space for creation, we just sort of decided to make a showroom as well?"

"You did this all by yourself, with your partner?" Dad asks looking around the shop, stopping at a large canvas on the wall.

"We did," Di says nodding her head. "With savings and a few grants that we applied for through the government," Di tells them. "We always would have bride over for fittings, and I don't know it just became a dream and we were looking for a long while and when we saw the place was for lease. We just jumped at it?"

She talks nervously wringing her hands, watching Mom and Dad take it in, looking around as we all stand around. No one seems to notice that I was on the walls yet. The photos were breathtaking that was for sure and in some of them, I looked so unlike me, that you barely could tell.

"That is your sister," he looks sharply at me and I grin sheepishly. Mom comes up to the large photo and looks at me and the photo. Realizing other ones were of me as well for the first time. "How?" She says to me and I just impishly shrug my shoulders, I didn't want to outright tell her I've known for a while.

"Is this a bad time?" A voice speaks up and I turn to see who I can only assume is Di's boyfriend. Wearing a plaid shirt and dark jeans and no shoes, as there is a pair of work boots at the front of the door.

"No," Di says shaking her head. "Everyone this is Lucan," she says. "Lucan this is most of my family. My mom and dad, Anne and Gilbert, you know Nan and Walter, and this is my little sister Rilla and her boyfriend Ken and their daughter Owen. Faith is my sister-in-law, she's married to Jem and her little one is Poppy."

"It's nice to meet you," I say to him.

We all say it to him.

"I can't stay long, I have to be at the boat to check the nets this afternoon. I just wanted to say hello as I know Diana was anxious about this morning," he says wrapping his arm around her.

"Boat?" Mom asks curiously and I shoot a look around at everyone.

"Fishing," Lucan says simply. "Though next week I'll be on a lobster boat up around the island."

"Oh, are you working through University?" Dad asks and I almost snort when Lucan laughs out loud.

"Didn't see the purpose in University, fishing runs in the family. My brother took a business course, but otherwise, I don't see much in it for myself." Lucan says simply before kissing Di on the lips. "I brought, some of the mom's smoked salmon for you. I'll just put it near your purse and be one my way."

"Tell your mother to thank you," Di tells me quietly and we all watch him go grab a container and disappear to a back room as if he knows every corner of this place.

"So fishing?" Dad says when he comes back. "That much be hard work?"

"The nets can be heavy," Lucan says nodding his head.

"You'll have to explain more of it, we are going for dinner later tonight. You're more than welcome to join in if you wish to?" Mom says.

I can see Lucan look over at Di for an answer before nodding his head.

"That would be great thank you," Lucan says nodding his head. He goes over to Di and whispers something before nodding his head and leaving out the door grabbing his boots.
"I didn't realize you were dating a guy?" Faith says, swaying slightly as Poppy was in the carrier sleeping.

"Yeah, it's a new thing," Di says blushing. "Didn't want to jinx things I guess by telling a lot of people. He's lovely though."

"I hope so," Mom says. "Though, I do worry about his future."

"Mom, not everyone needs a degree to be happy or have a secure future," Walter tells our mother first. Mom scoffs lightly shaking her head. Turning around to look in a tucked-away corner that had a lace robe and garter belts on display. Maybe she wouldn't see it?

She browses the intimates on display and looks around the shop once more and then focuses on the canvas on the wall. Her brow furrows as she assesses it.

"That's your sister, I know that birthmark!" Mom says looking closely at the large portrait of me, the same one that she framed for me. I had forgotten about the slightly discoloured birthmark that was on my hip. "You have your sister half naked up on the wall Diana Stacey!"

I look at Di and she looks back at me.

"It is," Di says nodding her head.

"You got your sister, who—the sister who won't even let other people post her or her child anywhere on the internet. The sister who went through hell and back to take those photos, so you can hang them in such a way. Do you have any sense at all Di!" Mom says beginning to chastise Di. "How can you ask her such a thing after knowing what she went through!"

"I gave her permission," I say stepping in front of Di as she speaks at the same time.

"I…She had the choice! Plus she's 20 years old I think she can decide for herself what she is comfortable doing these days. Let her gain some control back to the autonomy that was taken from her, god knows it might do her some good to have that sort of confidence again." Di says not mentioning how the shoot affected me, not her to prove mom right, but not me to make Di look bad.

"You gave her permission?" Mom looks at me, rather wide-eyed like she didn't expect that from me, not after Issac anyway.

"I did, I gave perimeters and she followed them, I approved the photos," I tell mom quietly. "It was my choice, and that is the main thing isn't it? It is my choice, not someone else's. I'm twenty years old, I can make my own choices. I can choose, I can decide what I am comfortable with. I can—look she's right in a way that for three bloody years since it was discovered I felt like parts of me were stolen without my permission. Because of the photos and everything else, for once in my life since I was ten years old, I am not abusing my body, I am not actively counting calories. I may still have issues I'm still working on, but these are not an issue, so don't go making this an issue. Don't tell me I was wrong, don't tell me trying to claim back part of myself and my body as my own was a mistake because it was not. You don't have to like the photo but you don't get to question them."

I look at Mom until she looks defeated and shakes her head.

"Mommy pretty," Owen says out loud and I bend to pick her up. I hear Walter laugh, and I look at Dad who is artfully trying not to look at the photo, knowing it was me in such a pose.

"I don't think your family likes me much," Luca says taking a swig of his second beer, as we sit in a pub that Di brought us to after dinner with the family. Nan and Chris were home as Chris had to work, and Nan didn't feel like drinking so she stayed back and watched Owen for us and to put her to bed.

Dinner had been slightly awkward at times, and Jem fresh from a post-hospital shower, tired on his feet came with Faith and Poppy. It was a family dinner and poor Lucan was stuck in it practically as a stranger. Trying to talk in multiple conversations, and impress my parents. I felt rather sorry for him overall, and Mom kept bringing up that I was going to University in the fall. I keep away from mom and ignore any mention of the photos I took for Di. I did not want to argue about it that is for sure.

"They do, it's just complicated with them," Di says rubbing his back. We were all a little tipsy I think at this point.

"Yeah, I mean their list of what they consider good life choices, tends to be a little off-putting even to their own children," I tell him taking a drink of gin and tonic. "Trust me, I am trying to get out of University, but nothing seems to be a good enough excuse?"

"You can just not go?" Lucan says plainly. "Why spend the money if you don't want to go? I mean what are they going to do tell you if you don't go that you'll need to move out?"

"Well, I already live with Ken?" I say awkwardly. "Either way, If there is one thing that they stress just about the same as not having a teen pregnancy is that college or university is non-negotiable. And it's not like go study anything. They like to know it's career achievable, and will veto anything that isn't from the college fund." I find myself speaking up.

"I wanted to go to Ballet school, and Di wanted fashion," I tell him.

"Costuming had good moments, but yet Fashion would have been much better," Di says taking a long drink. "Though the business courses did help."

"Well, if I have a choice, being the uneducated fisherman is a hell of a lot better than a drunken idiot roaming the hallways of the dorms," Lucan says.

"Not everyone drinks obsessively at college," Ken says with a small growl. "Some enjoy learning and their time there. Either way, I'm pretty sure that you're still above me in terms of likability?" Ken tells him. "So you have that going for you?"

"I would hope so," Lucan says taking a drink of his own. "I think anyone would side-eye a twenty-year-old impregnating a sixteen-year-old they should have recognized. Not that Di has said much, but clearly there is some age difference."

I watch Di choke on her drink. "Luca!"

Ken just sorta stares for a moment as I wonder if Di had not told Lucan everything about Ken and me. "It's fine Di, it's the truth is it not?" Ken tells me impassively, as he squeezes my thigh as I catch my breath.

I am used to judgment, and yes we are all drinking at the moment, but it doesn't feel fair to be judged so harshly by someone who my sister is dating.

"Look, no one is proud of those days, but there is a hell of a lot more to the story than you may ever imagine and some of those things are private, especially to me. I don't know what Di has told you, but you do not get to pass judgment on something extremely personal. So unless you want us all to think of you as an asshole, and wonder why Di is dating you….keep your opinions to yourself."

"I was just reading the situation," Lucan starts.

"Don't go starting a pissing contest now, Rilla is right don't judge things you don't fully understand," Di says out loud giving Lucan a look. "As for the rest, my parents will get over themselves, you help run a business and can chart the sea in a way that no college person can. I don't care what they think."

Luca nods his head slowly. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cast judgment on things I don't know about. I just have a younger sister who is maybe too naive for her own good sometimes and I worry about her."

"Well, I am not your sister, and Ken isn't the only one at fault," I tell him eyes narrowing and he nods his head. "Why don't we try again?" I say looking over at Ken, I know by the look on his face he feels a bit insulted at this point. I squeeze his hand and smile at him until he smiles back at me.

Lucan looks over at Di before nodding his head. We order another round of drinks before we call it a night and we stumble back from the pub hand in hand. The porch light at Nan's twinkled in the night. I stop Ken before going in.

"I love you," I tell him. "Though thick and thin and anyone who tries to tell us that we aren't meant to be together, will be ignored"

"I love you too," He responds his eyes soft with emotions beyond imagination. We aren't used to people's judgement these days. I try to think that Di wouldn't date anyone who would be ultimately judgemental, but only time will tell.

I wake up confused, Ken is snoring lightly beside me, and I look at the time feeling like something was off. I get up and slip into the slippers Nan let me borrow. I use the washroom before I see the stove hood light on, creating a dull glow and then I hear a moan.

"Nan? You all right?" I ask stepping into the kitchen and she's hunched over on the counter.

"Just cramps, I think a cyst burst," She says straightening up. "I just came out for some painkillers and hot water for the bottle?" She tells me through her teeth.

"Just cramps? I say shaking my head. I grabbed the kettle on the counter and fill it up and put it on the stove for her. She straightens up, brushing her nutty brown hair from her face and sighs a breath of relief.

2:27, the microwave blinks at me.

I watch her, my sister was wrapped up in a hoodie that if I remember last time was larger on her, and her hands and feet looked puffy as she stands there. Catching her breath it seems like

"I'm all right Rilla, I am," Nan says walking past me and grabbing the hot water bottle. "It's just the same things I deal with most of the time."

"It was never this bad?" I say frowning as the microwaves turned to 2:30.

"Well, tonight it is," Nan snaps and empties the bottle and waits for the kettle to boil. I don't answer I just watch her and then the kettle.

I was about to say something when she groans again. Gripping the counter she cries,

2:34…the microwave blinks at me.

"What are you feeling?" I ask her

"Pain, Rilla, intense pain, like I want to stab my uterus and reproductive parts with a knife it is that bad." Nan hisses as if my question was stupid as she put a hand to her back before straightening up again.

She takes a drink of water and grabbed the kettle before it was about to whistle.

She fills the rubber hot water bottle and holds it against her pelvis for a moment. We say nothing at the microwave counting another minute and then another.

2:37

2:38

A hand on her lower back brings me back to a hospital room.

"What does it feel like," I ask again. "Seriously Nan, just explain it?"

"I don't know, I had a backache all day, dull annoying pain that suddenly just started to send shooting pains."

"I'm calling dad," I tell her going for a phone.

"I don't need Dad, Rilla." Nan hisses and we hear footsteps. "I'm barely even bleeding!"

"This could be a miscarriage or something Nan," I argue with her and I look to see Ken in his pyjamas "Can you call Chris?"

"I'm —-!" Nan begins before crouching inwards at the pain, tears running down her face.

"I'm taking her to the hospital," I tell Ken.

"I'll drive-," he realizes that Owen is asleep. "Are you okay to drive?" He says quietly.

"I had two drinks tonight, before 10 pm I'm fine," I tell him. It's almost three am after all. "Stay and call Chris for us and explain," I tell him. I leave my sister long enough to toss on some clothing and kens hoodie. I shove my feet in my shoes and grab Nan's car keys from the bowl. Just in case ken needed a car with a car seat for Owen

I drive to the nearest hospital I find on google it's not a long drive, but I count three more waves of pain for Nan. I get her checked in and when she almost keels over from pain they rush her into a wheelchair. I toss her health card at the reception following her. Explaining what my sister couldn't.

"Are you pregnant?" Is one of the first things out of their mouths and Nan shakes her head?

"I get bad cysts, but this is-this is much more than that," she says hissing as they press on her stomach.

"Get an ultrasound," someone calls out. "You could have eternal bleeding, you could be experiencing an ectopic pregnancy."

"You can wait outside," someone tells me and Nan grabs my hand shouting No she stays.

They look at each other I give them space, my phone is ringing but I can't answer it.

I notice it before Nan as I can see the screen from my spot. My gut instincts, the waves of pain and her overall appearance.

It's a blur of words and explanations and Nan keeps looking at me of all people. I mainly squeeze her hand, I don't know half of what they are saying, being pregnant at 16 doesn't give you all the magical knowledge.

"Chris," Nan says looking at me when the doctors ask if she has a partner or husband-the baby's father.

I grab my phone and are a dozen messages from Ken and Chris. "He's here, they won't let him back because he's not family, is he family enough now?" I ask them.

A nurse nods and grabs the folder and goes to get him

He's white as a sheet and I'm glad to let him take my place I sneak out of the room.

I fall into a chair and make the decision to call mom and dad, I text Ken what I know first, and message Di as well because she would want to know.

It feels like hours when I open my eyes from zoning out when I see Mom and Dad, I see Di as well as we all hug each other. They ask if I had heard anything yet and I shake my head, Chris hasn't said much of anything since he came.

I explain to Dad mostly what I had woken up to, and what happened until Chris came. I just specifically left out the main thing. It didn't feel like my place to tell them, in case something happened.

"Family of Anne Blythe?" We hear a nurse call out and we all race to the desk. We all fall back naturally to Dad to talk doctor to doctor, but Chris is there as well, frazzled when we see him, then again one would be in his place.

"Nan is out of surgery and in recovery, she'll be okay they think in the long wrong?" Chris says and the doctor nods her head. 'It's all a little crazy right now." He tells us and looks over at me. "Thank you, Rilla, for everything I don't want to think what could have happened if you hadn't been there."

I merely nod my head.

There is only so much waiting one can do. I go back to Nan's and pack everything I think she might want and need. She won't be able to see anyone until out of recovery anyway.

I hug Owen and Ken when I get back to Nan's for a good long moment before finding the bag that Chris told me about and I packed it up for Nan, throwing in a few things of Chris's as well.

"I'll take her to the children's museum or something," Ken tells me. Children weren't allowed to be in the part of the hospital that Nan was in. I give him a long kiss, yawning.

"Take a nap for an hour, you said yourself you would be able to see her for a while." Ken urges me. And I mostly nod my head.

It's late afternoon when Chris tells me that Nan has been moved and then it was safe to stop by for a visit.

"What am I going to call him?" Nan says in a wheelchair later that day. The rest of my family was scrambling for other things. Mom and Dad were surprised, to say the least.

I look at the incubator, where a teeny, tiny little baby was. Three pounds estimated gestation of 29 weeks or so, which also meant when I asked back in January it had been right. Nan was quiet, but Chris swore up and down that neither of them thought or considered anything. Nan was also beside herself because she had drunk, not a lot, but still, she had drank on occasion and had sushi as well.

She looks almost afraid to touch him but wants to touch him at the same time. She has heard all the words being thrown around. Placenta previa, eclampsia, gestational diabetes, things I have heard, but I still don't know all that much about what happened. She hadn't looked seven months pregnant that was for sure, I had been small, but I had looked pregnant at the end of the day though.

"Anything you want," I tell her honestly.

"I didn't know, I swore I took a test and it said negative," Nan tells me. "God, is this some sort of a cruel punishment for last time?"

"It's not Nan, if you had known you would have done everything right," I say shaking my head. "He has a good fighting chance, doesn't he? The doctors are optimistic, he'll be here for a good while, but so far tests are coming back positively Dad said?."

"How couldn't I have known? Why couldn't I feel him? I should have felt him?"

"I don't know Nana, but he's here and you're going to take a deep breath and breathe because it's the only way you will get through this right now. You and Chris both, you will adjust and you will watch this little one grow and grow." I say sitting down next to her.

"How did you do it? I am terrified Rilla and I'm almost twenty-five. You were sixteen and you just did it."

"I'm still terrified Nan, that never leaves you," I say quietly, looking at my nephew who is covered in, tubes wires and monitors. Memories of Owen's birth flood my mind and how she seemed giant in my mind now. "Let's just be glad that you didn't have him in a toilet or something?"

Nan laughed and cries at the same time, hissing at how it made her c-section incision hurt even more.

"What am I going to do? I have nothing Rilla, I look at him and wonder what the fuck to do and feel? Oh my god, I just swore in front of him!"

"Deep breaths," I tell her quickly, rubbing her shoulders.

"I don't think you'll have to worry about stuff, he may end up with a bunch of pink handy-downs, but I have a feeling Mom and Dad will help you just like they helped me," I tell her honestly.

"And the rest?"

"As for the rest, he's a stranger. Give it time, it doesn't make you less of a mother, it took me months to completely bond with Owen and feel comfortable expressing how much I loved her out loud. I loved her, but I didn't know her. As for the swearing he's a baby it's fined it's when they can talk and love repeating you is when there is an issue."

We sit in silence for a few minutes, before I see Chris at the door. A fresh change of clothes it looks like.

"He still needs a name," I say again, knowing it might make it more real to her.

"Theo," Nan says out of nowhere.

"Huh?" I ask out loud and so does Chris when he comes next to her.

"His name will be Theo?" Nan tells both of us. "Think it was a name we both liked?" She looks at Chris for the first time, who nods.

"Theo Atlas Rivers," Nan tells him. "Theo means god gift doesn't it?"

"It does?" Chris nods his head as I slowly back towards the door to give them privacy.

"You're parents can't be mad at it then when they get here?" Nan says. She is worried about his religious parents I gather from her statement.

"I already told them to keep their thoughts to themselves, and there is no need for impromptu baptisms, or weddings either right now," Chris tells her and kisses the top of her head. I quietly leave the private room and shut the door.

If you have any time to spare comments and thoughts on these chapters is always greatly appreciated! What do we think of Nan's big surprise? and Lucan what do we think of him? I don't mean for him to be an ass, but people can make foot-in-mouth comments or be opinionated in stressful situations and I like to think he deserves a chance to redeem himself. I hope you do as well.