We all have our own little surprises. Something that we can't get behind us, something that looms over us like a shadow. THen when we aren't looking, it just appears. "Boo!", just a sudden and unwanted surprise. Definitely unwanted. That's what happens when you get your guard down, you get something like that to remind you of what you are.
The woman stood in the lobby, searching for a familiar face.
"Addison?"
"Izzie, you've grown…"
Izzie's look was frosty, "Can I help you?"
"Yes, I was looking for my husband and I had a feeling that he might've made it back here."
"I haven't seen him." Izzie walked off.
"Thanks for your help." Addison sighed. Izzie had a lot to be mad at her for. She hurt her, she hurt her friend.
"Face it Addison, you're a bitch." She muttered.
She walked up to the front desk, "Hi, do you know where I could find Derek Shepard?"
"Yeah."
"Okay…where?"
The receptionist gave her an icy look and sighed like it was the most obvious thing ever.
"Room 326." She then went back to her work.
"Thanks…"
Derek was laughing, not chuckling, but laughing. She could only guess who was in there with him.
Addison opened the door slowly as she saw her husband laugh.
"He never does that with me…" she thought to herself, feeling jealousy rise inside her.
She didn't take any time, "Hello Derek, fancy meeting you here."
"Addison, nice to see you, I was just talking to Meredith about everything…"
Addison knew it was Meredith on the bed, but she had bandages around her head, and various machines for life support, a morphine drip.
"Are you okay Meredith?"
Meredith gave her look that said, "As if you care…"
"Yes, the surgery went well." Derek interrupted.
"What happened?"
"I had a car accident a couple of years ago, the trauma grew and reappeared."
Addison's eyes went wide, "Oh, how are you feeling…?"
Meredith bit her lip, she was about to say something, when Derek interrupted.
"She's getting better slowly, is there something you want Addison?"
"Yes, I just wanted to… talk, for a second, can we speak outside?"
"Derek, why didn't you tell me you were coming back to Seattle Grace?"
"Addison, I told you I was coming back to Seattle."
"It's not the same Derek and you know that."
He was quiet and Addison ignored urges to strangle him.
"Can you say something?"
"What can I say Addison?"
"That you didn't tell me because you knew that it was wrong, because you knew you still love her…"Addison felt herself go shrill.
"Sh! Addison, she's just in the other room!"
"You haven't told her yet Derek? I'm surprised." She spat it at him.
"Addison, don't act like this."
"Like what?"
"Like a five year old for starters!" Derek's temper rose slowly.
"Derek, we all know who's acting like the five year old here."
"Addison!"
"Well it's the truth, isn't it? You're the one who's sneaking off to see your girlfriend. Why Derek? Why would you leave it all behind?"
"Addison."
"Derek, can you say something? I feel like I'm talking to a rock!" She started to hyperventilate, panic. Was he mad at her? Why couldn't she just stop talking…stop talking!
"Addison! Listen to me…"
She took in a breath, she couldn't breathe, she couldn't focus.
"Addison?"
She nodded, taking in another breath. She was fine, listen, he needs you to listen….
"When we left, she was pregnant…"
Addison couldn't hold it in any longer, she fainted.
Cristina fiddled around on the computer, she was supposed to be doing research on her patient, but that could wait. She'd be able to do it in five minutes. She needed to find something out.
The person who was driving, who hit Meredith's car when they ran the red…who was it?
Cristina sifted through website after website. She couldn't find anything, she made phone calls and she wrote emails…nothing.
Then she saw something, a link at the bottom of the page. She clicked on it to find the case. It was part of Meredith's hospital record…
"This is driving me crazy..." cristina muttered, she was so close that it bothered her. Just a little further...
"Addison? Can you hear me?"
She was on a gurney and being rolled.
"I'm fine…" she murmured.
"That's a lie Addison."
"No, I'm really fine…"
"Addison…"
She was stopped, a room maybe, that's what it felt like. Someone was doing something to her arm.
"Let me go…" she muttered, trying to yank her arm away.
"It's allright, let her sleep…"
Derek carefully put a cool towel to her forehead.
It was silent for a minute.
"It's exhaustion isn't it?"
"No…I'm fine Derek." Her voice came back.
"Addison ever since the baby you've been…"
"Miscarriage Derek, it's called a miscarriage."
"Ever since the miscarriage you've become completely absorbed with your work…"
"No I haven't."
"When's the last time you slept for more than five hours…"
She was quiet.
"That's my point Addison, you can't work yourself raw."
"Don't lecture me Derek."
"What?"
"You got your mistress pregnant, you're in no position to lecture me…"
"Addison."
"What? You aren't. Leave my room Derek, I can't deal with it right now."
"Addison…"
"I don't even know why she kept it…I thought that she would…"
Derek was dumbfounded, "Addison, I'm going to leave right now, I'll send someone in to check up on you. Sleep okay?"
She was babbling something.
"I love you Derek…"
We all have a past, present and future, and no matter how hard we try to not look back, we always do. It always gets us when we least expect it . That's why we try and move forward. We need to break through, we have to break through. Our past helps lead us to our future, we just have to keep looking forward.