When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Her mother had abandoned her when she was five. Her father had left when she was fifteen. She had no brother or sister to take care of her, so Meredith took comfort in one thing, her books.

She got the best grades in all of her classes, and she ignored everything else. She had friends that she kept at a distance, until now. Two years ago when she made a promise to make friends. That she wouldn't die alone, she refused to die alone.

It was hard somedays. Some days, everything just slipped away from her, her mother's dying her father left them. She needed something stable, something to root her down so she wouldn't slip away too.

Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.
She got it. Maddy. For all that she hated Shepard…well semi-hated Shepard, she was glad that he gave her…Maddy.

It was a cliché and she knew it, but Maddy was something good and pure and she needed that. The innocence of children.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
He was at her door again, giving her a smile.

"What?"

"I have a surprise for you…"

"What?"

He grinned and then reached down to pull up a carrier.

"Say hello to mommy Maddy…" He grinned as he picked up the little girl from the carrier, closing the door with a leg.

I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.
Meredith smiled at the irony, the last time he did that, they were involved in something a lot more…heated.

"Hello Maddy, how have you been?" She said as she accepted her daughter.

Derek sat on the bed, watching mother and daughter.

"Did you miss me? I know you missed me. I hope you missed me, but I'm sure that you were good for Aunty Izzie, and Uncle George. Were you good for your daddy too?"

"She was an angel, she didn't cry the whole way here…"

Meredith smiled, "Thanks…"

"How's she doing?" Izzie went onto her tip toes trying to see through the window.

"I don't know, her charts say she's getting better…" George murmurred

"He's been in there for a while…" Cristina said plainly.

Then they heard it. The beep, the outright beep that meant nothing good.

"Code Blue! We have a code blue!" Derek shouted.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
The interns rushed to assist.

"Yang, get a defib. O'Malley get Bailey or somebody. Izzie take Maddy somewhere, she can't be here right now…"

They rushed to work, Izzie collecting little Maddy.

You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;

"Push 60!" Cristina applied liquid to the paddles and Derek opened up Meredith's gown slightly.

"Yang…"

You raise me up... To more than I can be.
She's a mother, a friend, a daughter…there was no trace of anything wrong, what's happening?

It swirled through Derek's mind that she was dead. It was wrong…she couldn't be dead.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
"Push 120!"

Cristina nodded.

The jolt made Meredith's body lift from the bed.

"Push 160…"

"Shepard, that's high."
"Yang, push 160…"

Cristina opened her mouth and then closed it. Silently she cranked up the voltage.

The jolt wasn't enough.

"Dammit, make it higher Cristina!"

"Shepard…it could kill her…"

I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.
"Cristina, she's already dead."

Cristina muttered something as she turned it even higher.

The blip on the monitor beeped after the jolt was delivered. It grew more steady slowly, slowly it grew.

"Thank god…" Derek muttered, wiping a piece of hair that had been pressed to his forehead.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas

"Should I get Izzie?"

"Ask her to bring back Maddy if you can…"

Cristina nodded, and the nurses and other people slowly drifted out of the room.

Her heart was beating steadily, and the sound of her breathing returned.

"What happened?" Derek muttered thoughtfully.

What would make her stop breathing, if her lung collapsed, if she had a clog in her windpipe…something in her mind that just told her to stop breathing. Is it possible?

He would look into it, but for now he would monitor her to make sure she didn't relapse…

"I hate it Izzie."

"What?"

"Cristina's switched sides now."

"George what are you talking about?"

They were sitting in the hallways, their hallway, Izzie's eyes shut, George rocking back and forth. It was dark in the hallway, and few people went through it.

"You liked him after her swore that he loved Maddy, Cristina admires the fact that he almost killed her…"

"He saved her George…"

"Whatever, I'm just saying that she could've died from that…"

"She was technically already dead."

"I know Izzie, I'm a doctor too…"

"I'm just saying."

"I'm saying that everyone's forgetting what he did. He left her for Addison and then left all of us Izzie, out of the city, state…to New York, and New York isn't a couple of hours away…"

"It is by plane actually…"

"Izzie! Not helping, all I'm saying is that it's not fair that you're all forgiving him, we had a deal."

Izzie rolled her eyes, "George, listen to me. I have a feeling that this doesn't have anything to do with Derek…"

"See you're even calling him Derek now…"

"George…" It was the warning tone.

He was quiet, "I told her that I would never hurt her, or leave her. I told her that I'd love her forever Izzie. But when she looked at me, she wasn't looking at ME, she was looking at McDreamy who had manifested himself in me… it was always him, I chose her, she chose me, he chose Addison and Addison chose…god knows who. I chose her, I left myself in the open and she shot me down. It's not fair Izzie…"

"She fell for him George, there's nothing that you can do about that…"

"But I fell for her." It was the voice of the lost child.

I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.
"I know George. I know."

Meredith's dreams were the same as usual, that day when she crashed.

She had sworn off alcohol, she would do nothing to harm this baby. If it wasn't Derek's then it wouldn't be fair to hurt it. It was just a child…she'd be able to deal.

She pulled out of the hospital and drove on the side streets slowly, so she be able to think. The lights ran over her car making shadows flicker. George and Izzie were talking about something in the back seat, Izzie had to turn around because George was right behind her.

Then she heard Izzie screaming and she jolted. Thankful she had her seatbelt on, she felt blood trickle down her forhead, and Izzie's face in front of her. Someone else's, she saw Derek's face there…but he was in New York. How was he…

The last thing she saw was the flickering street light, she knew she had been pulled out of her car. She told Izzie to call Cristina, but the words didn't come out. Nothing came out. Black filled her vision, until she completely lost consciousness.

Meredith's woke up slowly.

"So do you watch every girl who's in a coma or was it only me and the girl who had my shoes…"

Derek paused, "I was going to tell George to call your family Mer, but then I realized something. There's no one to call. Maddy was here, your mother wouldn't be able to help and no one knows your father's number. I don't think you'd want him here either. That's why I can't leave your life Meredith, not yet. Someone has to be there to take care of Maddy. You and I both know that I'm one of the best people for that job. So? What's it going to be?"

She sighed, "All right Derek," She paused and then slowly said threw words, "I choose you."

You raise me up... To more than I can be.