Disclaimer: RENT and its characters do not belong to me.
Author's notes: Thank you reviewers.
BTW, completely lied earlier. I can't resist the slash. So it's coming. Hints in this chapter.
Italics are flashbacks.
Roger walked briskly along the streets of New York one week after the fiasco with Benny. In a way this walk reminded him of the one where he had been looking for Mark, except this time he wasn't looking for Mark. He knew where Mark was. He had found him not twenty minutes after leaving the apartment, and then he had tried to talk with him. OK…so that hadn't gone so well.
"Mark! Hey Mark wait up!" Roger jogged until he was next to his retreating roommate. Mark's feet stopped moving and Roger spoke. "What was that all about?"
"Nothing." Mark shoved his hands into his pockets, looking down at his feet.
Roger shook his head, switching into caring mode. "That wasn't nothing Mark. You're upset about something."
"Maybe I'm upset about the fact that you guys won't leave me alone." Mark pointed out a little testily. "What part of 'I'm fine' don't you people get?"
"Maybe the part where you say you're fine but you're clearly not." Roger shot back, exasperated.
"How am I not fine?" Mark knew that this probably wasn't his strongest argument. He knew that he wasn't fine. But that didn't change the fact that he was now upset, verging on angry, and thinking wasn't his strong suit now.
"You're not sleeping…or talking…and you won't touch anything because your hands hurt too much from whatever it is you're doing to them." Roger watched Mark's eyes falter in surprise. "You didn't think I noticed that you weren't going around with your third eye?"
Mark clenched his jaw tightly. "I'm fine."
"You've been drinking coffee Mark."
"So?"
"So you hate coffee."
"I do not hate--."
"I was on smack and you lectured me on the evils of coffee."
"That's because every time that I brought up the drugs you just walked out!"
Roger ran a hand through his hair. "Mark, can't you just admit that you need some help?"
"Oh and you're one to talk about admitting things!"
"We aren't talking about me Mark!"
"Why not? You're here aren't you?"
"Because I'm not the one who's hurting himself by refusing to talk about what happened!"
"You don't know what happened!"
"That's because you won't talk about it! I am so sick of all this shit Mark! You think you can't talk about your problems because we're all sick and we're all gonna die! That's not an excuse to avoid talking about yourself!" Roger was officially yelling now. They were gaining glances from the people on the street, but no one was stopping to watch.
"Maybe my so called problems aren't so big!"
"The fact that we're sick isn't going to just go away. We've dealt with it. Move on! Your problems, and you have them Mark, aren't just something that you can blow off! I think you're the one who told me that."
"They are my problems to blow off!"
"Not if I have to watch the affects of what it does to you!"
"Then don't watch. Leave! It worked before when your friends had problems didn't it?"
"I'm not leaving! I jus don't want to see you destroy yourself!"
"Then I'll make it easy for you. I'll leave!" Mark turned and started walking away. He didn't really know what he was doing. He was just so mad. He didn't even know what he was mad about, but there was something about the two fights that made him furious.
"Mark!" Roger called weakly starting after him.
Roger knocked on the door of the apartment, waiting a few seconds before knocking again. He was very impatient when there was no answer, continuing to knock until he heard a shout from inside. "All right, hold on a second! Smoke a joint or something and relax a little will you!"
The door opened, and Collins stood in front of him. The first thing Collins did was sigh. "What are you doing here Roger?"
"I come across the city and that's all you have to say to me?" Roger looked at him quickly, hoping to gain some sort of sympathy with his friend.
Collins just gave him a look. "You didn't come across the city to see me. You came to see Mark. And Mark doesn't want to see you."
"How do you know unless you ask him?" Roger challenged, putting his hand on the doorframe.
"He's really mad at you, and---."
"Have you even told him that I called?" Roger cut him off. "That I've been trying to apologize all week?"
"He's heard every message you left." Collins informed. "He doesn't want to talk to you Roger. He's really hurt."
"It's been a week. I think that's enough time to---…"
"To what!" Collins stepped out into the hall closing the door behind him while he interrupted harshly. "To make up for seven years?"
"Seven years of what?"
"Of a one sided relationship."
Roger faltered. "What?" He asked quietly.
"Why exactly is it that you think Mark sticks around? You and I both know that he has potential…That he could send his documentary to any producer and get a great career going."
"Where is this going Tom?" Roger was more subdued now; he would always call Collins Tom when he was confused and upset. It was the only time that anybody did.
Collins took a breath, as though thinking of the best way to go about saying something. "Mark hasn't stayed here because he can't go places. He's stayed because he wants to make sure you're taken care of."
"Why does he care? I don't understand."
"Mark loves you Roger…Now whether it's boyfriend love or brotherly love, I don't know, but he loves you, and he doesn't want to see you alone. He has been there for you in the seven years that you've known him and cared for you every step of the way. And from what I can tell…this robbery experience made him realize that in the seven years you haven't really cared back."
Roger's frown deepened. "Of course I've cared. That doesn't even begin to make sense."
"Does it? Before ten days ago when's the last time you can remember talking about what was going on with him, and how he was doing?" Roger didn't answer. "That's what I thought. Mark is having a hard time dealing with what happened in that store, and it doesn't help him that you didn't ease into the whole caring thing. You just started when his emotions were all out of joint. He needs a few more days."
"Fine. I'll just…" Roger railed off, and it seemed to hit him what Collins had said. After a few moments of silence, where it started to sink in he spoke again. "Is he getting better? Taking care of himself? I mean is he eating, and sleeping or what?"
Collins hesitated. "He's eating, and having nightmares. But he's doing better than when he showed up last week. Look, we were talking…I should probably get back…"
"Yeah…" Roger nodded. "I'll go and I guess I'll come back in a couple--
The door opened cutting him off. Mark stood in the doorway. "Roger, could we talk?"
I think I'll just leave it at that. Thoughts?