Disclaimer: RENT and its characters do not belong to me.
Author's notes: Another chapter to make up for my lack of posting.
Roger entered the loft, after a long day of doing…absolutely nothing. He had done nothing, walking to Collins' to find him out, most likely teaching a class. He had done nothing while walking back to Alphabet City, taking the long route and watching a bunch of people doing whatever. And then he had done nothing, sitting in the Life Café for over an hour, nursing the one cup of coffee that he could afford until it was nothing more than the ice cold grains in the bottom of the mug. There was nothing to do when Mark wasn't around, which lately had been more and more frequently. In the month since the letter from Mimi, Mark had started spending long days outside of the loft, and Roger had no clue where he actually went.
Because that wasn't Roger's main concern. It was his secondary concern. His main concern was sorting out his feelings; the ones that were left over from the Mimi break-up, and the ones that were brought on by his talk with Collins when he and Mark were still fighting. The long walks of the day had been particularly helpful with that fact. He was actually ready to talk about them.
However, when he stepped into the loft his concerns were a bit more flip-flopped. Maybe it was time for him to start caring more about what Mark had been up to, because Mark was sitting underneath the table in the kitchen, staring into the living room.
At first Roger didn't see him, because he was under a table, but after a few moments of being in the loft, Roger saw that Mark was sitting under the table. Frowning, he started to remove his coat, and he tossed it onto the couch before going to the table and crouching down onto the ground in front of his friend. "So, are you comfortable or something?" Mark didn't answer, just continued staring ahead. "Mark? Hello? You OK in there?" He tapped a finger against Mark's forehead.
"What?" This is the action that got Mark's attention. His head turned and his eyes met Roger's.
"You're sitting under a table." Roger informed.
Mark glanced around, as though he hadn't noticed. "I guess I am."
"It's making you look like a bit of a jackass." But he didn't get a response out of the filmmaker. "So…what are you doing under the table?"
"Thinking." Mark shrugged.
Roger gave him a bit of a look at this. That hadn't been the answer he was expecting. He was expecting to hear that Mark had stolen some of Collin's pot and was contemplating the meaning of the crumbs. "Is the table like, feeding you good thought vibes or something?"
"What do you mean?"
"Uh, hello. You're under a table. It's not the normal place for long periods of thought. Or anything." Roger leaned himself back so he was actually sitting on the floor, and was actually slightly lower than Mark's level. "What are you thinking about down here?"
"Just stuff I guess."
Roger shook his head. He was getting nowhere, and he didn't know how to get anywhere. So he started to stand. "Well when I want to think about stuff I go up to the roof. The air helps. And people don't give me weird looks when I do it." Roger was walking away, thinking of the hopelessness of the situation when he heard Mark.
"I guess I'm just worried." Roger turned to see Mark getting out from under the table and hitting his head on the edge of the table. "Ow." He muttered.
Roger just laughed a little at his friends predicament before thinking back to where the conversation was going. Mark was actually about to talk to him. "Worried about what?"
Mark rubbed his head briefly. "Nothing. I'm worried about nothing. I was just thinking about my life."
"Everything's cool with you?" Roger's questions for Mark weren't great, but it was one of his first times being on the other side of the deep conversation. He thought that he was doing pretty good pulling from the conversations with Mark and Collins that he remembered.
"Yeah. You know that I've been doing fine ever since the whole fiasco we had." This was completely true, but it wasn't seeming as true, the way that Mark had been sitting under the table. "I just got a little scared. Nothing big…"
"Scared? About what?"
"About what's going to happen. With everything." Mark's answers were short and to the point. He didn't really want to elaborate on anything, but kept forcing himself to anyways.
"You mean with me. And Collins." Roger inferred. At the confirmatory look on Mark's face he was actually pretty proud of himself. He was getting this whole discussion thing now. "Uh…" Now he just had to figure out where to take it from there. "Come here." He grabbed Mark's elbow and brought him over to the couch, sitting them both on it. "I know that the situation sucks. And I know that it's always been a thing with you." Now he took a deep breath. "And I know what you told Collins. About me. I've known since our fight."
"What?"
Roger held up a hand to stop Mark from further questioning him. "I need you to just let me finish." He inhaled deeply again. "And I've been thinking about it…especially since the Mimi thing. I've come to the conclusion that I don't want you to have to have that one-sided relationship thing that Collins was talking about. And I don't want you to be scared." He paused. "I just want you to know that…I might be in love with you." Roger leaned over and gave Mark a gentle kiss, and then pulled back, watching the filmmakers reaction.
He was very unsure of himself. For the first time in his life he was very unsure about the relationship aspect of things. For the first time, his confession of love had been two things. The first of which was awkward, and not very poetic. The second, being that he really knew that he meant it. But after about a minute of silence he couldn't take it. "Mark, now what are you thinking?"
"That at the moment I'm not so scared." Mark waited a moment, but kissed Roger again. "And that, I might be in love with you." And they kissed again. "And that I might owe Collins a big thank you." And then they kissed a fourth time. "But I think that will have to wait."
OK, I know both chapters are kind of short, but I figured it's better than nothing, and it definitely got me back into writing this story so all is well that ends well.