How I Conquered The Earth Chapter 7: A Trip To The Picture Show, an invader zim fanfic

A/N: Hello everybody! I finally finished the next chapter. I hope you guys enjoy it so much that your heads explode. Well, not quite that much. Then you wouldn't be able to leave reviews. Anyway, get ready for some fun. Byron's taking Zim to the movies to take his mind off what he did to his base today. Yay!

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Chapter 7

A TRIP TO THE PICTURE SHOW

The streetlights were just beginning to turn on when Byron and Zim arrived at the movie theatre. It was a colossal building covered in bright lights that cast such a shine on the street that it seemed like mid-afternoon. There were three ticket booths outside. Only one was open. Needless to say, the line that had formed on that cloudy Friday evening was unfathomably LONG.

"How are we supposed to get in?" Zim asked.

Byron smiled and motioned for him to follow. "We're taking the VIP entrance, Zim." They walked into an alley that wrapped around the building. Byron came to a door marked, 'STAFF ENTRANCE' and tried the handle. "They always lock 'em, Zim."

Byron reached into his pocket and pulled out the knife that Zim knew all to well and began to pick the lock. A few seconds later, there was a satisfying 'click' sound and the door opened. "Come on, Zim, before the flick starts!"

"I'm coming," he said hurriedly and the two began to search the winding halls for the correct theatre.

"Ah, here it is!" Byron stated looking up at the marquee. "Revenge of Doom of the Zombie Cheerleader Massacre From Outer Space 7 in 3-D! Hell yes!" he kicked open the door and they walked in. The theatre was almost completely empty, which was strange seeing how long the line was outside. "Hmm, I guess everybody else is going to see that new teen coming-of-age bullshit." Byron said angrily. "Oh, well, more room for us."

Zim, being new to the concept of movie going, stayed surprisingly quiet. Just as the two took their seats, the film started. Or should I say, the twenty minutes of gay movie trivia, and commercials, not trailers, commercials started. "Hey, Zim. I'm gonna' run to the bathroom before this starts, you want me to get ya' anything from the snack counter on the way back?"

"Ha! Pathetic human and your, 'BA-TH-ROOM'! I laugh ... Ooh, snacks?" Zim said happily. Normally, only the Almighty Tallests were allowed the privilege of snacks. He couldn't resist. "I'll go while you 'go'," he said.

Byron laughed and started walking down the hall toward the bathroom while Zim almost skipped toward the snack counter. Things seemed to be going well for Byron. His plan was falling into place beautifully and not a single creepy guy had stared at him while he used the urinal. Then, as if a cosmic force sensed his happiness, there was the loud squeak of an opening stall door behind Byron and a VERY familiar voice.

"So, vampire scum, you're in league with the alien now?" It was Dib, and of course, Dib's huge head!

Byron spun around just in time to come face to face with the annoying boy with the large head. "My grandma, what a big head you have!"

"My head IS NOT BIG!" Dib yelled and angrily tried to shake some 'water' off of his boots.

"Yes it is!"

"No it's not!"

"Yes it is!"

Meanwhile, Zim had finally gotten his snacks, but it had been quite a hustle, though. The "candy drone", as Zim called her, was a steely-eyed little bitch with an attitude problem. Zim had become enraged that she refused to take his Irken monies.

"Nice try kid," she'd said, "we don't take Monopoly money." This only made Zim angrier.

"How dare you impugn the MIGHTY currency of the Irken Empire! Now give me the snacks!" He yelled and thrust his fist into the air. People started to stop and stare at the weird, green child with the anger management problem.

"No way kid! Now beat it!" She said agitatedly and continued to do her nails.

"You shall rue the day you crossed Zim! For I am ZIM and YOU shall taste my wrath! Taste it!" He screamed and activated his time disruption cuff. Suddenly, time stopped and Zim happily began to loot the snack bar. Once he'd pillaged to his heart's content, he threw everything into a large sack he pulled from his PAK. Then, just for good measure, replaced the snack girl's brain with a package of Twizlers. He walked down the hall back to the theatre and reactivated the time stream.

"Yes it is!" Byron continued.

"No it's not!"

"Yes it is!"

"No it's not!"

"Yes it is!"

"No it's … enough!" Dib screamed and balled up his fists in anger. This was the fifth time he'd had this argument with someone today. "I know what you're doing and you won't get away with it!"

'How cliché was that statement?' Byron thought and quirked an eyebrow, "Oh, really? Then do tell. Stupefy me with you're amazing skills of telepathic espionage! 'Pick my brain', as they say." He chuckled.

"What?" Dib said confusedly.

'Oh, yeah, I used big words again. Is everybody around here stupid?' He thought. "Just tell me."

"You're going to turn the entire population of Earth into vampires and then…"

"Wrong! Try again."

"Um, you're going to, um. That's about all I had," Dib admitted dejectedly. For a genius, he WAS pretty stupid.

"Must not be too much in that ENORMOUS head of yours, if that's the best you can do!" Byron laughed in a cruel manner. His blood was pumping as he thought about what fate awaited Dib once the sun rose tomorrow morning.

"It's not that big!"

"Yes it is!"

"No it's not!"

"Yes it is!"

"No it's not!"

Zim sat in his seat waiting Byron to return. His bulging bag of candy was in the seat next to him and his Mega Gulp of diet Poop cola was firmly grasped in his hand. "Stupid human trivia! I t does not concern the mighty ZIM if this 'Kevin Bacon' can be tied to anyone in six steps or less!" He declared defiantly at the screen. "Where could Byron be?" he thought and took a sip of the cola. He then spit it out and began to scream as smoke poured out of his mouth, "This has WATER in it!"

"Yes it is!"

"No it's not!"

"Yes it is!"

"No it's not!"

Then, in a flash of unimaginable speed, Byron had pinned Dib against a wall and had his knife to his throat. "Dib, I don't have time for this! My movie is about to start and I don't trust Zim to be by himself during a slasher film! Now, GO HOME! You'll know my plan soon enough! Understand?" He spoke with cold venom in his voice. Hatred poured from his squinting eyes as his sneering teeth glistened in the fluorescent lighting. Had Dib of not just used the bathroom, he would have pissed himself.

"Okay." Dib said. And began to run toward the door.

"Wait," Byron said, "just to make sure you remember this conversation." Byron grabbed Dib by the back of his collar and, again with that same frightening speed, gave Dib the worst "swirly" he'd ever had in his life. Trust me, he's had plenty before. He's like a connoisseur of "swirlies!

Byron reached into Dib's coat pocket and pulled out, surprise, a clove of garlic. Over the years, Byron had grown fond of them. "I knew you'd have this," he said and bit into it like an apple. "See you around, Dib!" He laughed and left the boy with the large head to think about what they'd discussed.

"Jerk!" He mumbled.

What took you so long?" Zim asked. "The movie's already started and the PATHETIC humans are being eaten alive," Zim said joyously.

"Had some trouble with the plumbing," Byron said and sat down next to Zim. He reached into Zim's bag of snacks and grabbed a couple of candy bars. He looked at Zim's soda and asked, "You gonna' drink that?"

"No!" Zim answered angrily.

After the movie was over, the two left. Zim was ecstatic. The film was one of the most amazing things he'd ever seen. Byron, on the other hand, was rather bored.

"That was great when she bit off his head. His ENTIRE head!" Zim cheered.

"Yeah, I guess."

Once they got outside, the nerdy kid in the ticket booth saw them and said, "Hey, you guys didn't buy tickets!"

"So?" Byron said.

"SILENCE, ticket slave! We are not your concern! Go about your business or you shall end up like her!" He yelled and pointed at the girl behind the snack counter who was still doing her nails. "Hmm, I thought that would have a greater effect than that."

Suddenly, there was a loud rumble in the sky and something landed on Zim's face. It was cold at first, but then it became hot. Then it began to burn. "Ahh! It's raining!" People began to stare, yet again, at Zim. "I have a skin condition!" He yelled and everybody looked away hurriedly.

"Zim, wait inside. I'll be right back," Byron said. Zim complied and no more than forty seconds later, Byron pulled up in a large car with the driver side window busted out. "Get in," he said and opened the passenger side door.

Zim dramatically ran and dove into the car. He closed the door and looked at the mess of sparking wires under the steering wheel. "Is this you vehicle?"

"Nope."

After about an hour-and-a-half's worth of reckless joyriding and playing chicken with anyone foolish enough to be out on the road, the two headed home for the night.

A/N: That was pretty fun, eh? Hope you enjoyed this. It's all about to get REALLY good from here! Please leave a review. PLEASE!