Chapter 9

FIELD OF NIGHTMARES

While Byron's foul deeds were being executed at his house, Dib was obliviously wandering around in a field near the old Higgins place scouring the tree line for Bigfoot. His net in one hand, the trank gun in the other.

It was a beautiful day. No, it was a perfect day, unlike any other that your humble narrator has ever had the privilege to see. The sun was shining high in the sky without a cloud in sight. Birds flew by and sang a happy summer song. The air was fresh and a cool breeze danced across the wheat fields causing them to sway and rock like waves in an ocean. In the distance, Dib could see the large, red barn, the little, blue farmhouse, and silos. The house's tin roof glimmered in the sun like a candle in the wind.

The apple trees that lined the dirt driveway by the old, wooden fence were heavily drooping with their red, sweet fruits. The little, clear-crystal stream that ran along the edge of the property was teeming with life. Small, silver fish swam along carelessly as the beavers and raccoons danced together on the banks. The squirrels were hard at work gathering acorns and mixed nuts for the approaching winter. They still had plenty of time for gathering but why dodle? It is best to be prepared. Up on a hilltop that rose up out of the forest, stood a proud family of moose. These animals gave Dib a quiet shudder as he remembered what could have been had he not escaped the wormhole. Oh, what it did to those innocent walnuts!

The entire scene was a glorious and splendid sight to take in. It was a landscape or panoramic view that was befitting of an Old Dutch Master. Unfortunately, there weren't any Old Dutch Masters to be found since they're all dead. Every one of them was dead, all dead, dead and gone, dead and buried, but anyway. THEY WERE DEAD!

Despite the awe-inspiring glory of flora and fauna around him, Dib was more concerned about the possible capture of Bigfoot and the fame and respect it would earn him. Besides, nature was stupid! Dib hastily paced up and down the edge of the field and looked behind trees. He was desperately trying to spot the furry beast. Unknown to him, another type of beast was keenly watching him from the safety of a bush. Dib pulled up his binoculars and tried to spy deeper into the forest. This was getting bothersome and he knew if something didn't happen soon, he'd have to go home. He knew what was waiting for him at home. Probably right now, at this very moment, Gaz was evoking the forces of darkness to avenge the loss of her pizza and cola.

"Bigfoot, I know you're here! Come out now! I can smell you!" He yelled and looked under a log.

"As I can smell you, Dib," came a voice from behind.

"Bigfoot, is that really you!" He asked eagerly. The he yelled and vindictively shook his fist, "I want my belt sander back you hairy, smelly piece of…"

"SILENCE you fool! It is I, ZIIIIIIIIIIIM!" Came a shriek from behind.

"Zim!" Dib said aloud. He spun around to see Zim standing atop a large rock brandishing a nasty looking pistol. "How did you know Bigfoot was out here?"

"What?" Zim asked agitatedly. "Bigfoot's just a myth you stupid pig-smelly!

"A myth? What, like space aliens are a myth?" Dib stated defensively. Gunpoint or not, he wasn't about to let a little, green alien insult his field of specialty.

"I'm not here to debate whether or not Bigfoot exists, Dib. I'm here to save you!" He stated with a worried tone in his voice.

"Really?" Dib asked. His eyes brightened and his eyebrows rose up in surprise.

"No, not really!" Zim pulled the trigger on thee hypnosis gun and before Dib could react, everything went black for Dib. Zim laughed and hopped down from the boulder. He landed with sub par footing and fell flat on his face. He got up indignantly and walked over to Dib. He triumphantly placed his foot on top of Dib's sleeping body and continued laughing dramatically. He stood there in the field laughing like mad. He stood there for about a minute-and-a-half. "At last, I have the Dib-stink and nothing can stop me. I AM Zim and I am INVINCIBLE! Nothing can stop… Ahhh! A BEE!" He screamed and hastily began running like a mad, frightened child that flees from a creepy, balloon animal-making birthday clown as the misleadingly cute, fat-cheeked DEATH BEE happily followed behind the invader. "Get away from me, you terrible Death Bee! I command you! BE GONE! Do not evoke my wrath!" His threats were to no avail as the malicious bee continued on its relentless hunt for alien meats intent on its kill. Zim yelled out, "LU! Save me, LU!"

The little, home-made SIR unit sprang up and came charging out of the bushes with a laser firing out of the top of his head. Laser shots flew in all directions as he jolted down toward the bee. Every so often one would just miss Zim's head as he ducked and rolled to avoid both the bee and LU's terrible aim. Finally, a beam stuck the evil bee in the side and it, ironically, burst into flames and crashed to the ground with a smoke trail behind it much like it had done to Zim's Voot cruiser. "Excellent hit, LU. I shall invent and then present you with a medal!"

THANK YOU, SIR!" Lu saluted.

"I was being sarcastic, LU! You almost shot me!"

"But I DIDN'T shoot you. Isn't that what matters?" The robot asked his master.

Zim couldn't think of an answer to this question. He walked in silence over to where the beast had been felled and stood over the smoldering bee as he laughed. "That will teach you to interfere with the might of Z… Ahhh! It's still alive! It's still alive!" He screamed and danced in place frightened. The Death Bee's crispy corpse gave a slight, involuntary twitch and sent Zim continuing on his mad sprint down the field as LU finished the vile insect off. It was almost like something out of a mafia movie. LU stood there cool and collected and fired shot after shot into the bee until all that was left was a two foot deep crated in the lush green grass of the pasture.

"Is it dead yet?" Zim called to LU from quite a distance away.

"YES, MY MASTER! IT WILL TROUBLE YOU NO MORE!" He declared dutifully.

Once Zim recomposed himself, he walked back up the hill and collected Dib's sleeping form. He scooped him up and handed off the sleeping Dib to Lu. Zim had a quick gaze at the breath-taking display of untouched nature at it's finest. "Pathetic, hideous planet! All this 'nature' stuff makes me feel sick! I wish I had a bucket! I cannot wait to be rid of all this! Look upon it, LU! One day, all this…"

"Will be mine?" LU asked and shifted the weight on his shoulder.

"NO! One day, all this will be another proud planet of the Irken Empire with another proud city, its buildings rising high and defiantly into the air. The skies will be red and cloudy and choked with ship traffic. Irken children will play viciously competitive games of Fisk Ball and everyone will have a human slave! It will never rain again and there will be absolutely no meat! NO MEAT, DO YOU HEAR ME, MEAT! Your end is near! And here, here where I stand right now," he claimed with a proud stomp of his boot, "will stand a mighty statue of me! And it shall read, 'Zim, mighty conqueror of Earth'! It will be beautiful! It will be the most beautiful and glorious sight to ever be beheld by Irken eyes!" A little yellow butterfly flapped up in front of Zim and gently landed perching on his shoulder. He reached up and squashed it with his fist. "Filthy Earth-bug –winged-thingy! You have met your doom!" He laughed at this sight and looked at LU. "Come LU, we must get back to the base before Dib wakes up!"

Zim climbed on LU's back and he and Zim, and Dib of course, rocketed off into the sky toward Zim's secret base where horrific horrors of horror awaited Dib when he awakened.

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A/N: Well, that was really short. As usual, I hope you like it. Please review. It's all about to get going, seriously. Next chapter is where everything starts to come together.