A/N: Hey! Sorry this took so long, but I've been really busy. Anyway, this chapter is, in my opinion, pretty funny. I hope you like it. Also, WARNING: Feature "heavy petting"! lol

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Chapter 15

RAINY DAY ACTIVITIES

Over the course of those few days that had shortly followed Byron devastating attempt to take a warm shower, the skies had slowly and surely darkened and filled with thick, black clouds that, now, menacingly hung over Zim's house. The air was thick with humidity and the smell of wet dog was carried on the wind. The world had taken on that soothing green tint that was always the prelude to a powerful thunderstorm.

Not caring what the weather was doing, Gaz had run to the store to get a few necessary food staples like microwave pizza, Poop cola, and waffle mix. As for Zim, he was sitting on the couch with Gir in the living room staring at the TV with much vigor and concentration. Having taken some of Byron's previous advice, Zim had started religiously watching The Weather Channel. And so, he sat there glaring at the screen, and longing for Gaz's return, as a tall and hideous human in a puffy coat yelled and screamed over powerful winds about the severity of this incoming storm. All this talk of pressure zones, lines, and cold fronts were totally wasted on Zim. He was only familiar with a "different" type of line or front.

"It's going to be about a ninety-nine percent chance of rain today. So, get out those umbrellas folks! This may be the big one!" Suddenly, a heavy gust knocked the cameraman down and Jim could be heard screaming, "We're all going to die!" With that, the feed went black.

About this time, a blinding flash filled the living room windows that stood next to the couch and a deep, low rumbles resounded afterward. Then, the windows were blocked out by the raging torrent of water that the storm had just unleashed. The clouds had finally ripped apart and were profusely bleeding to death.

Zim dove to the other end of the couch to get as far away from the window as possible and yelled, "CURSE YOU!" and pointed his claw at the TV. He looked over at Gir and said, "I must discover the horrible secret that give the weather minion his power to control the rains! Somehow, HE controls the weather! Mark my words, Jim Cantore, and mark them well, you shall not plague ZIM with your rains of doom forever!" He then abruptly lost his footing on the couch and went crashing to the floor with a humorous thudding sound like a sack of evil, green potatoes.

"Yay!" Gir cheered both happily and supportively and began to madly bounce up and down on the couch while Zim made sure none of his amazing bones were broken.

"Gir," he said while twisting his neck with a few cracking noises, "what did I say to you about jumping on my couch!"

"You didn't say nothing about me jumping on the couch!" Gir lied.

"Oh, okay then." Zim said with appeasement.

There was a rattling sound of the doorknob and the door opened with a crash against the wall. In the doorway, silhouetted against the thunder stood an angry, no, an enraged Gaz. Her clothes stuck to her body and her hair was plastered against her head with dampness. In here arms was a soggy, brown-paper bag of groceries. She stomped in toward the kitchen and the door, seemingly on its own, slammed shut behind her.

"What'd ya' get me?" Gir asked.

"Shut up, Gir," the pair responded simultaneously.

"You want me to help you with that, Gaz?" Zim asked her sweetly.

"No, Zim, everything is wet. You'll just get burned, again," she said from the kitchen.

"Okay," he said and changed the channel mumbling, "Some day, Jim Cantore!"

Meanwhile, down below on the prisoner level, Dib's life hadn't changed much. It still sucked. His changes had finally completed, but when I say, "completed", I only mean that they weren't going to continue. By no stretch of the imagination do I intend to press upon you the assumption that he, too, is now an Irken, for it was quite the contrary. It was an extremely twisted twist of fate that had decided that the painless dose of serum was the defective one, since Byron had originally intended it for himself.

The alterations had only progressed about halfway and had left Dib a horrific creature that a silly person who is obsesses with The Lord of the Rings, which most definitely, I am not, would note a keen resemblance to the character Golem. He was now a disgusting, pale creature with claws, yellowish skin, and red bug-eyes that rested inside his huge, bald head. It was dually ironic, that he now seemed the spitting image of the very type of creature he would have gladly chased down a dark alley in an attempt to capture and experiment on it. Now, he was the experiment.

Over the past few days, he'd employed the services of his newly acquired claws in his new hobby; tunneling. The long tube of dirt punctured the wall of the holding cell and stretched upward through layer upon layer of dirt as it snaked toward the surface. Dib had ignored all other things in his life, save food and bathroom, and focused his every waking hour to attaining his freedom once more. He worked and toiled with such fevered zealous that it was frighteningly similar to Byron's attitude just a week previous.

Then, the days of hard and filthy work culminated into that one glorious moment went Dib's great, red eyes could see s dim light just a few inches ahead of him. With a powerful kick of his boot, he breached the surface of Zim's back yard. Then, for the next few seconds, Dib found himself in an awkward position as he was struggling, upside down in his tunnel, to free his boot from the hole.

With a loud "pop" sound, his boot was free and Dib was free, that is, to tumble back down the some one hundred and seventy-two feet to the bottom of the tunnel. He laid there for a few minutes in a daze. His shoulder was hurting and he looked over to see his arm was twisted at a VERY unnatural angle and was tucked under his back. He stood up, his arm limply swaying at his side and grab hold of it. With a quick jerk, and a nasty snap, he popped the arm back into socket.

Finally, Dib scaled back up the tunnel all the way to the end and squirmed through the hole. He stood up, the grotesque, muddy creature blinking its large eyes.

While she was still in the middle of unloading the soggy groceries, something strange in the backyard caught her eye. "Zim, there's some hideous creature stumbling around in the mud outback. Can I go beat the shit out of it?" she asked sweetly.

"No Gaz, it's probably just one of the insufferable stink-beast neighbors' spawnlings. They tend to get back there every now and then. The lasers'll take care of it," he said with a smile.

Just about that time, three well-placed laser turrets rose up out of the lawn and began to fire at the Dib creature. He jumped and rolled and dodged for all he was worth. If only he had of been like this all those times they'd played dodge ball at skool! He made a break for the fence, still avoiding the rapid fire of the lasers, and quickly jumped over the fence to the alley that ran behind it.

Gaz looked gloomily out the window, "It got away, Zim!"

"I'm sorry, Gaz. Remind me to install some more traps. Those mines should have gone off!" They would have worked, if Zim hadn't have installed them upside down. He got off the couch and walked into the kitchen. He looked out the window to see an empty yard. "Zim sees nothing! It must have been your imagination. Oh, what a GHASTLY imagination you have!"

Gaz wasn't in the mood to enter a full-blown argument with Zim at the moment, so she forced him to help finish putting away the groceries. Once this task was complete, and the two had gotten a snack, they decided the most amply productive thing they could possible do with their free time was to spontaneously start making out right there in the kitchen.

It was an amazing spectacle of lewd conduct and blinding speed and the pair groped each other and appeared to be attempting to eat their partner's face with mad kissing. They bumped against the counter and sent things spilling and crashing into the floor. They knocked over the table and chairs as the traveled, like a tornado, toward the living room. They landed on the couch with a loud squeaking sound and continued on with their fun. Good thing Dib couldn't see this. Suddenly, Zim stopped and looked up to see Gir standing in front of them staring intently.

"Gir, go outside and play in the horrible rain! We're busy! GO NOOOOOOOOOW!" He screamed and waved a fist threateningly at Gir's head.

"Yes, sir!" He saluted and ran madly out the door screaming. It quickly stopped when he discovered there was mud to frolic in. "MUD! Come on Pig, let's play!"

As soon as the door was closed, the human and the alien recommenced their "exercises".

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A/N: So? Did you like it? I hope so! Please leave a review. I'll give you CANDY!