A/N: I'm very happy with this chapter. I, personally, think it's very funny. It also features several minor characters from the show. If you can guess them all, you'll get a prize!

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Chapter 17

THE THRILL OF THE HUNT

The rain had started to come down harder now and the sun had come out from behind a cloud. The alley Dib was hiding in was very humid and had a smell like a wet dog. Not that the alley behind McMeaties ever smelled good. He wasn't really bothered by this smell since he was busy digging through a dumpster for food. Dib was fortunate enough, not only to find a few chunks of fresh space meat, but also enough used aprons to fashion a primitive set of clothes.

He heard the doorknob rattle as someone inside was trying to come out into the alley, more than likely to investigate the commotion that was taking place in the dumpster. Then, out charged an old man with a burger-hat on his head. "You, get away from the SPAAAACE MEEEAT!" He yelled and pulled an old revolver out of his uniform.

'Is he supposed to have one of those,' Dib thought as he scrambled behind the dumpster for cover. It seemed all those hours of sci-fi combat rping had paid off.

The man fired his gun and screamed, "Come back here you damn meat thief!" The bullet missed Dib by a few inches and ricocheted of a wall and hit a gas main. At this, Dib scurried away in search of another hiding spot. "Gil, call animal control! We got a meat-thieving mutants infestation!" Failing to notice the intense and almost overpowering aroma of gas in the air, the clerk fire one more shot for good measure. The fireball and ensuing mushroom cloud could be seen four miles away, which, as it just so happens, was where Zim and Byron were.

As the ball of flame and charred space meat rose gracefully into the air like a flaming ballerina of doom, the two aliens looked at each other and with a nod they replied to the other, "Dib!"

Dib was hiding in the crawl space of a local home. He'd gorged himself on all the available bugs that had lived under the house and finally put his apron clothes together. He was trying to figure out a plan to escape and then it hit him, "Ughraasm!" he exclaimed and then realized that, since he no longer had proper, functioning vocal chords, he could not exclaim, to no one in particular, his plans and thoughts. 'I'll have to get to dad's house. He must have the equipment to make me normal again!' he thought. 'Then, Byron and Zim shall pay! I MUST save Gaz!' With this, he crawled back outside into the rain. Standing in the mud for a few seconds, Dib finally jump onto the side of the house and scaled the wall to the roof. From there, he got his bearings and began his journey, by rooftop, to his house.

"He's moving!" Byron yelled at Zim while he stared at the tracking monitor.

"Why didn't I think to implant a homing chip in his large head?" Zim asked his hunting partner.

"Because YOU didn't think it possible for him to escape, even though he's escaped from you how many times was it again?" Byron asked arrogantly.

"Eh, uh… seven?"

"Precisely! Every time you underestimate him and every time he gets away. NOT THIS TIME! Hear me, Dib! This is your last escape!" Byron yelled and pointed his claw into the air. He and Zim were completely oblivious to the crowd of people that were now staring at them.

"I know where he's heading!" Byron declared.

"Where?" Zim was fidgeting nervously. If they stayed out in the rain for too long, the paste would wear off.

"Professor membrane's house!" With this, the pair trudged on in the pouring rain. There pursuit far from the absolution they both anticipated.

The front door, after several minutes of fierce digging in the lock, swung open. Dib trudged inside and quickly made his way down to Professor Membrane's lab. As if sent by Nixon himself to the Watergate Hotel, Dib began to rummage through any available area of the lab in his frantic search. It had taken him twenty minutes before he had everything set up and ready to begin the procedure. He looked up at the computer and read to himself, 'Serum will be fully developed in: two hours!"

Dib couldn't believe this. How could his father's machines be so slow? What would he do for two hours? He went upstairs to see what was in the fridge. He made himself a sandwich and got a can of Poop cola and walked into the living room. Something seemed off. He set his food down and looked around the room. 'Hmmm. TV, couch, table, two menacing aliens standing in the door…what!" Dib started at the sight and instantly went into flight mode. He'd have to escape and avoid them for two hours. That's all he needed. He bolted up the stair with Byron and Zim in tow. Dib made somewhat humorous sicky and gurgling noises as he tried to scream.

"Come on, Zim! We've got ourselves a hunt!" Byron whooped and yelled as he charged up the stair with a net in one hand and a stun gun in the other.

Zim would have been right behind him if he hadn't tripped and fallen back down the stairs. "Go on! Don't let him get away!" Zim yelled as he lay in the floor.

Dib frantically kicked open the door to his room and ran for the window. Without realizing that it was already open, Dib picked up a chair and tossed it through the window. Not stopping to look surprised, Dib dove out the window and, to his great horror, landed on the chair. Byron stood in the window and laughed as he turned around and headed back down the stairs.

"Get up, Zim! He's getting away!" Byron yelled as he ran down the stairs and, without realizing it, landed with his boot in Zim's groin as he flew out the door. Zim rolled around on the floor in agony for a few minutes before he picked himself up and ran after his comrade.

For the time being, Dib had lost his pursuers. It had been a good hours chase before he was sure enough to slow his pace. He looked around for the first time in a while and tried to get his bearings. Dib had, by some twist of fate, found his way to the city mall. He looked up at the large sign reading, 'PARKING ENTRANCE'.

'It's my only chance,' he though, 'I've gotta' get out of the open street. Maybe THEY will grant me sanctuary!'

Without another moment wasted, Dib ran for the entrance and dove over the gate. The zit-faced teenager working in the booth just stared and yelled, "Damn rat people! I should really call the exterminator," he paused for a moment. "Huh, maybe if the paid me more!" he chuckled and returned to his Game Slave.

The garage was just as Dib remembered it. It was unnaturally cold and dark. It was almost like a cave. Water dripped from the ceiling and drifted about in the many puddles of oil and antifreeze. Dib thought he could hear voices. Every so often, he would catch a glimpse of a strange figure darting between the cars and into the shadows. Finally, Dib found a broken muffler on the floor of the garage and began banging it against the walls and cars in the hope of getting THEIR attention. It wasn't long before Dib could hear the familiar squeaks and skittering sounds of THE RAT PEOPLE!

They appeared from behind the parked cars. Crawling low to the ground in their investigation of the racket. Their large, red eyes, which were very similar to Dib's, glowed with a mixture of fear and curiosity. Several rat children followed behind them.

'Thank God!' Dib thought. 'The horrible rat people who live in the mall garage! I only hope they remember me.' Dib thought as he sat there on his knees looking at the approaching mutants.

One of the older ones of the group scurried up to him and laid a claw on Dib's face. He gazed into his red eyes and a look of realization washed over his face. "It is he, the big-headed child from long ago!" he announced.

"Long ago! Long ago!" several of the other rat people chanted.

Dib thought to himself, 'My head is not big!'

"As we foretold, he has become like us!"

Several of the other rat people began to chant, "Like us! Like us!"

A taller rat person, who appeared to be the colony's leader stepped forward and said, "Welcome, oh rodent brother. You are now one of us!"

"One of us! One of us!"

Despite how bizarre the entire situation was, Dib decided to play along. He bowed graciously to his new, temporary family and pulled out a notepad in an attempt to communicate with the rat people. He only hoped that at least one of them remembered how to read.

As he scribbled down a short version of what had happened, one of the female rat people chimed in, "I was once a man!" She covered her face with her claws in disgust and cried.

In response, another rat person said, "Shut up! Every time we get company, you try to scare them away with your 'I was once a man' bullshit! Just shut up before we eat you! Food's scarce and now we have another mouth to feed! We'll do it!" The other rat person slumped her shoulders and lumbered over to an especially dark corner sadly.

Dib handed the leader his note pad. He looked down over it and began to read aloud, to Dib's relief, what it said, "His name is Dib! He is as we are; half rodent, half man," the leader said.

"Half rodent, half man! Half rodent, half man!"

Their leader continued, "He hasn't any voice-making-thingies in his throat, so he must communicate through the tablet!" He declared and held up the little smiley-faced notebook. "He says he is being pursued by the five-finger men from the world above," the leader said and pointed one of his hairy claws up at the concrete ceiling.

This was met with many chants of, "The world above! The world above!"

Another said, "So bright! So warm! We never go there!"

"Silence!" The leader squeaked. "He asks us for protection and shelter. We cannot deny our brother what he requests! He is a part of the colony! He is one of us!"

Suddenly, footsteps could be heard approaching. Dib tensed up and prepared to run. The leader grabbed his arm and said, "Come with me, Brother. We will take you to the sanctuary!"

"Sanctuary! Sanctuary!"

As the headed deeper into the garage, the leader asked, "Must you repeat everything I say?"

"Repeat! Repeat!"

Just as they left, the figure in the darkness became visible. "Damn, rat people! Every time I try to check the meters they freak out!" the repairman said to himself and tossed a huge brick of Swiss cheese in the direction the rat people had headed.

"Hurry, Zim! He is close! I can almost smell him!" Byron announced as they stood outside the mall. "He's inside!"

"Finally!" Zim declared as steam began to rise off of him. "The paste is beginning to wear off! Let's get inside!"

The two dashed into the mall entrance. Neither of them were prepared for the unspeakable, mind warping horrors of unspeakable horror that lay beyond the doors ahead. "Welcome to the twenty-seventh annual Tri-state Sci-fi Convention!" Yelled a fat woman with nappy brown hair, a band-aid on her face, and a large red t-shirt with a flying saucer on it. "My name is Trudy and I'm a member of The Children of the Bright and Shinning Saucer!" She happily declared.

"Eh!" Zim stumbled back as he remembered her being one of the many stupid humans who had almost foiled his attempts at retrieving his Voot cruiser. 'What if she remembers me?' he thought as panic swept over him.

"Say, you look familiar. Have we met before?"

Byron quickly tried to defuse the situation. "No, of course you haven't! This is my cousin, Boris! He's from Russia and doesn't speak any English. Isn't that right Boris?" Byron asked Zim.

"Uh," Zim replied, more in confusion than playing along with Byron's charade.

"Oh," Trudy said. She then said to "Boris" slowly, "Have - a - swell - time - in - America!"

Zim just looked at her fearfully.

"Well, I hope you fella's enjoy the convention! And I love your costumes!" She shouted. Neither Zim nor Byron had realized that, in all the hustle and bustle of the hunt, their disguises had fallen off.

"Uh, thanks. Thanks a lot," Byron answered confusedly with a very unctuous grin.

"There's free food and you have to register over there," Trudy said and pointed to a table that was made to look like a papier-mâché saucer.

"Thanks again, Trudy," Byron said as they walked over to the table. "You know her, Zim?" he asked.

"No! I don't want to talk about it!" he quickly said defensively.

As they waited in the line for registration, Byron looked around to see, as far as the Irken eye can see, thousands of nerds all dressed as aliens and robots and many other characters who are obviously protected under international copy right laws mulling about and talking.

A large fat guy in a sweater-like uniform walked up to Byron and said, "I am Volax, Captain First Class of the Interstellar Frigate Jhonen-12!" He declared proudly and saluted. "Who are you?"

Caught a bit off guard, Byron quickly thought up a plausible lie and said, "I'm Invader Bile from the planet Irk. And this is my co-invader, Zim!" Technically, since the dude would never believe that this was the truth, Byron was lying. "We are proud and mighty invaders from the planer Irk and we have come to DECIMATE this pathetic ball of stinky dirt stuff!"

"Oh," Volax said, a bit put off. "Cool costumes!" He declared in an attempt to rekindle their conversation.

Byron moved up a spot in the line and said, "Thanks, our mom made them," he lied again.

"You live with your mom too? COOL!" He yelled.

Byron gave another unctuous smile and thought, 'You shall pay for this, Dib! YOU SHALL PAY!'

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A/N: Never thought it would come to this did you? Hahaha! I couldn't help it. I love the rat people, they're SO funny. Anyway, I hope you like this. Please review. Regardless of what I said, the next chapter will introduce the new character and will feature a co-author whose name will not be mentioned until LATER! Ooh, suspense! Please review!