A/N: This chapter dedicated to DarkShadow1818 and HeavenSentHellBroken! You both know why!
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Chapter 19
SORA: THE OTHER HIDEOUS NEW GIRL!
A five-mile walk later, Byron and Zim returned to the base, basking in triumph of their exploits. They had taken off most of the crap they'd purchased at the convention. It had mainly been bought to blend in in the first place, but the fact they they caught sight of themselves in a window on the way home also weighed heavily in their decision. When they entered the room, they found, not just Gaz and Gir, but a strange girl who neither of them had laid eyes on before now, sitting in the living room. It would not have been such a problematic situation, or a shock for that matter, if either of the horrific alien invaders had been wearing their disguises. But alas, it was not so!
The young woman was sitting on the couch reading a little, black book and eating from a bag of candy corn that sat next to her. She looked up from the book and said, ""Oh, sup?" She looked at the two aliens in front of her and twisted her face into a half grin that flashed her pair of unnaturally pointy canines.
Zim looked over at Byron with a panicked expression that said, 'Who is this!"
Byron shrugged in response and said, "Don't look at me, I've never seen her before."
Deciding to go with the trend of looking over at the person next to you and whispering, the girl leaned over next to Gaz and said, "So, these are the two?"
"Yeah," Gaz answered.
The girl laughed and exclaimed, "Proverbial human traitor and his alien comrade, I presume." The girl stood up and forcefully grabbed Zim's hand and began to hastily shake it. "Nice to meet you, when do I get a pair of those?" She asked and pointed at Zim's antennae.
"Who is this!" Zim yelled.
Gaz looked at him and said, "This is my friend, Sora. She's knows everything, so don't try to kick her out! And you better not wipe her mind like you did my last friend."
He looked at her in a confused manner and began to yell and wave his fists wildly, "Get away from me, stink-human! Leave my stupendous base this instant, before I..."
"Zim!" Gaz said. "She's my friend and you will be nice to her!"
"But she'll compromise my AMAZING mission! She'll..." Gaz glared at him with a devious look in her eye. "Fine!" He huffed in defeat.
"Put her on the list, Byron. NOW!" Gaz hissed and then returned to her Game Slave.
Byron sighed and pulled a small note pad marked 'Saved List' out of his Pak. "Fine, Gaz. I'll add her to the list," he said and opened it to reveal the almost-totally blank pages of the "Saved List". At the top, under 'Gaz', he scribbled down, 'Sora' in his new language. "Happy, Gaz?"
"No, I'm never happy. You should know that by now."
"Aw, how sweet!" Sora said and looked at Zim. "Can I?" she asked and pointed at his antennae. Before Zim could respond, Sora was happily trying to climb onto Zim's head and rub one of his antennae. "Wow! They are real!" She laughed.
"You'll have to excuse Sora," Gaz said, "she's rather insane; nice, but totally and irretrievably INSANE!"
"I'm a health-hazard to society!" she said grinning again. "I'm also way into science. I love to experiment on things...more or less. The only two humans that stand in my way are Professor Membrane... and that horrible Bill Nye the science guy! CURSE his bow tie and mesmerizing theme song of doom!"
"Told you!" Gaz said vindicated.
Byron smiled and stuck out his hand, "Well, from one social disease to another, it's nice to make your acquaintance!" He smiled and showed his mouth full of zipper-like teeth.
"Like wise. Hey, freaks of a feather destroy all man-kind together!"
Byron looked at Gaz and said, "I liked her! She's got spunk!" He then turned back to Sora and said, "In a few months, man-kind will all be smoldering piles of ash. MISSION ASH!" He declared with a balled up fist.
She cracks a wicked grin, "Sounds sweet!" She eyes Zim. "So, what's it like where you come from?" she asked Zim.
"Er?"
"Zim doesn't use many big words when he's confused." Byron said and patted Zim on the back.
"Ahhhhhhh! I don't have my contact lenses in! Where's my wig!" Zim snapped out of his frightened trance and instantly realized that, even though it was far too late, he was completely exposed.
"See?"
She snickered, "Wow, that's... interesting." Sora looked at the pair for a moment and then asked, "So, what do you need me to help out with?"
"Nothing! The Mighty Zim does not need YOUR help! I need no..."
"Shut up, Zim! I said be nice, so quit yelling at Sora or I won't do that thing you like me to do!" She scowled and then winked at Zim.
"Too much information!" Byron and Sora yelled at the same time.
Zim's flesh paled slightly at the mentioning of this and quickly said, "Fine, worm-baby! You can...h-h-he-e-elp. Ah! It's on my tongue!" Zim yelled and tried to wring the nasty word out his tongue.
Her eyes slightly widened when Zim's tongue became visible. "Whoa... that's killer! What kinda' stuff can you do with that tongue?"
"Wouldn't you like to know!" chuckled Gaz.
"You can chuckle?" Byron asked confusedly.
"I see... well in that case, I'm gonna find a place and park my ass and read my comics..." She glances at Zim one last time, "Oh, and in the event of say... disaster would strike and you would need someone intelligent to be rid yourself of The DIB... feel free to hire me." She shrugged and sat down in an easy chair. She pulled out a comic and intently began reading it with the occasional chuckle coming from behind it.
"Oh, that reminds me!" Byron exclaimed and walked outside. "I left the little fella' out in the cold!" He laughed as he walked back in with something over his shoulder. It was Dib, obviously because of the size of the head, and he was wrapped up in a net. Byron dropped him on the floor with a sicky thud sound and Byron said, "Vincent, see that our visitor, the big-headed one, is made 'comfortable', if you get my meaning."
"YES, SIR!" Vincent said and Dib was lowered through the floor.
"Bye, Dib," Gaz hissed at her unconscious brother.
There was a short moment of awkward silence, seeing how there was a new face amongst this good company, and the Byron said, "What's on TV?"
Ah, TV! If only more people in the soon-to-be-destroyed world would forget about their differences and just watch TV together, the world would be a far more peaceful, and overweight, place!
Byron couldn't help but wonder, as he sat and watched TV, how he never noticed this fascinating young woman while he was in skool. For a brief moment, he has an awkward thought, but then remembered his previous commitments to Tak and quickly pushed them from his mind. While Byron pondered to himself, Sora reached into her army-style backpack and pulled out a can of Poop cola.
"Tonight on Hard Point: Aliens, do they exists? We don't think so, you decide." Said the little man in the bad suit with the even worse toupee on the TV.
Instantly, the four were completely transfixed. Byron, Sora, and Gaz were very much amused by the irony of this; Zim was paranoid about being exposed.
As the show went on, a rather professional looking professor was dragged in to be accosted with surprisingly stupid questions by a twerpy looking guy in a suit that was, surprisingly, worse than the previous man's suit.
"Do you believe that there are aliens in the Universe or, for that matter, on Earth? If so, do you think they come in peace?" He asked.
The professional looking professor paused for a moment to have a quick puff on his pipe and then said, with smoke wafting from his mouth, "It is in my firm and scientifically sound opinion, that there are "aliens", as you put it, in the Universe. But, it is also my opinion that they are not here on Earth, at the moment."
"That's comforting, but what about them being peaceful? You haven't responded to that," said the little twerp of a reporter.
The professor adjusted his glasses and said, "That all depends. If they are a race of brutish monsters that have barely advanced, then most definitely, they would be of a war-like nature. Much like the Aztecs of the fifteenth century. But, if they are an enlightened race with abundant technology, then they are most certainly peaceful and desire the pursuit of further knowledge and peace."
With this, all four of the viewers in Zim's living room began to laugh. "What a crock of horse shit!" Byron cheered.
Zim was laughing so hard, the only word he could manage to say was, "Pathetic!"
Gaz and Sora both rolled about in their respective places on the couch. Unfortunately, Sora forgot about the Poop cola she was drinking and it soon found itself the lucky recipient of a one-way trip to the floor. The can rattled about as it sprayed its contents into the air. A small droplet of soda arched through the air across the room and, like a kamikaze fighter pilot, landed squarely in Zim's face. He fell into the floor rolling around screaming as a small trail of steam rose into the air.
Sora watched wide eyed and quickly said, "Oh damn! Sorry 'bout that Zim! I should have paid more attention! Shit like that happens all the time to me!"
"He'll be fine." Gaz said. Within a few minutes, Zim got back into his chair, leaving his dignity sprawled in the floor, grumbling about 'humans and their water-based slark-beverages'.
"Oh yea?" She starts to smart-mouth. "Well what's Irken soda like?"
"Like all things Irken, it's far superior to your smelly Earth-soda-thingies," Zim said with a tone in his voice and a superior grin on his face. "And it doesn't burn the flesh from my MIGHTY skull! Oh, how mighty the skull of Zim is!" He added.
Sora grinned, "Can I have some?" Zim's ranting had planted a seed of interest in her mind. But, unlike most seeds of interest, since this seed was being of an alien nature, this once sprouted quickly like a weed.
"No! It's mine!" Zim yelled. Then a thought drifted through his head. 'What is it burns her alive from the inside? Ooh, what wonderful fun of DOOM that would be!' "On second thought, of course you can, oh wonderful Earth-stink guest of mine!"
"Thanks, Zim. You're not so hateful and filled with spite after all!" Sora chirped happily and tossed her comic in the floor. She got up and walked into the kitchen. After a few seconds of rummaging through the refrigerator, she returned with a black can with that all-too-familiar red symbol we all know and love.
She popped the top and had a quick sniff. She took a sip and let it sit in her mouth as if it were a fine wine. After she tasted the soda to her satisfaction, she quickly swallowed, cleared her throat, and calmly said, "HOLY SHIT THIS IS THE BEST SODA EVER! IT'S LIKE POOP COLA AND AN ENERGY DRINK ALL IN ONE!" So much for calmly speaking!
"Oh, god," Byron and Gaz say at the same time. Now she was going to be even more of a spaz!
Then, Sora suddenly gasped and fell to the floor, gagging and twitching madly for a few seconds before laying still. This, for Zim, was a kind of entertainment that no amount of monies could ever purchase! Stirring from her motionless state, Sora continued to spasm and foam at the mouth.
"Hahaha! The pathetic human is no match for the AMAZINGNESS of Zim's soda!"
"Shut up, Zim! Your gloating is stupid!" Gaz snarled and hurled the bag of candy corn at him.
"Ahhh! It's in my eye!" Zim screamed as he desperately tried to dig that cursed piece of candy corn out from his eye.
While all this was happening, Byron attempted to take charge of the situation as Sora continued on with her soda-induced seizure. "Vincent," Byron said nonchalantly, as if he anticipated this, "The defibrillator pads, please." Two electrical paddles dropped down from the ceiling. A loud humming sound began to emanate from the paddles as Byron rubbed them together.
"Wait," Gaz said. "She's fucking faking. I've seen her do this before! Get up, Sora. It wasn't funny last time and it sure as hell isn't funny this time!"
Suddenly, as if on command, Sora popped her head up and, with a very disappointed look on her face, said, "Oh you're no fun, Gaz! Oi, pretend to have some sort of seizure, you gotta' go and ruin the funny panic!" She got up and dusts herself off. "That floor sure is dusty, and maybe germy."
Gaz and Byron both flinched at the mention of the germs. They both knew what was coming next.
"GERMS, in MY base? IMPOSSIBLE!" Zim yelled and dashed off to get his germ goggles.
Gaz watched Zim run away and then looked over at Sora. "You really shouldn't have said that."
"What? About the germs?" She gave Gaz a puzzled look before getting up from the floor and continuing to consume the contents of her new favorite drink.
"Yeah, Zim's very touchy about germs." Gaz said.
"He's a grade-A, O.C., clean freak. You'll see. And then you'll be sorry!" Byron added.
"What's the big deal? They're just germs? How bad could he…"
"Ha! Vindication!" Zim yelled and reentered the room with his goggles and his usual germ fighting uniform. Sora gazed over at the little alien in the tissue box shoes, green waders, rubber gloves, and shower cap. She couldn't help but smile. Zim, on the other hand, was amused for a far more contrasting reason. "HA! Human-stink, I WAS right about the soda and I was right that there are no FILTHY Germs in my...Ahhhh!" He screamed and pulled out a can of disinfectant spray. "They've come back for my Squeedly spooch!" He held the can like a gunfighter and defiantly declared, "I bested you once, Germs! And it would seem as though I'll have to…"
"HOLD IT MISTER!" Sora yelled and held up a stern finger. She walked over and opened a few windows. "That spray-shit is evil on my nose and I can taste it in the air! Don't bathe in it okay?"
Just as Zim poised for his next assault on the horrible Germs, Gaz yelled, "Zim, quit trying to annoy Sora! You and I both know that you and Byron have been inoculated! Go take that stupid shit off THIS instant!"
"Fine!" He said defeatedly and trudged off, dragging his tissue box shoes as he went.
Sora groaned and leaned against a wall. "Well, this has been entertainment gone down the drain. I'm so bored; I'm willing to do just about anything. I need something to follow. So... Bored! " She said and grasped the sides of her head as she slumped onto the floor.
And so, the evening turned into night. And the tension between Zim and Sora turned into sheer and unbridled LOATHING, mostly on Zim's part. The four had finally found something decent to watch and were happily distracted from the gathering storm outside. That is, until the proverbial levee broke.
With a brilliant flash of light and a deep and heavy rumble, the the room went black and the power went out.
Sora looks up from a comic. "Oh crap... please don't tell me another rain storm... "
Zim cringed at the thought of more rain. "Curse you, weather minion! Again you have attacked Zim!"
The auxiliary generators kicked in and power was restored to the living room. This now revealed Zim standing in his chair with a stupid look on his face and his first, yet again, in the air.
"I'm going to bed," Gaz grumbled. "Sora, you can spend the night here if you want. No arguing, Zim!"
"Fine!" He huffed. This tone then took on a more gentle aspect as he continued speaking, "I guess I'll be to bed a little bit later, Gaz. I have something to take care of. Night."
"Good night, Zim," She said. Then, Byron saw something he'd never seen before; Gaz GENTLY hugged Zim and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He tenderly returned the affection. Gaz smiled at him and then walked off down the hallway.
Sora shrugged. "I guess I'll take the couch. It's not like I have to be anywhere tomorrow." Sora lay down on the couch and wrapped herself up in her coat like some terrible Earth-bug in its coat-cocoon.
"Byron, come with me, IMMEDIATELY. We must use the phone." Zim said and motioned with his claw for him to follow.
"Why do I have to come?" Byron asked. "You're smart enough to use a phone on your own." Byron protested. "My show's about to start," he said.
Then the TV said, "Coming on next: When Animals Attack Fat People On Flaming Bicycles As They Plummet Helplessly Off Of Cliffs! Then, do I really have to say this? Fine! Then get ready for the side splitting humor of Seinfeld!"
"Ooh, animal attacks!" Sora exclaimed happily. Sora then added, as another bolt of lightning illuminated the sky, "Just don't use a ground line when you call! You could get electrocuted… never mind!"
"YOU!" Zim yelled and pointed at Sora, "Be silent!" Zim then looked over at his comrade and added, "Byron, it's the BIG phone!"
"Oh," Byron said with wide-eyed realization. "I'm coming!"
"Stay here, human!" Zim ordered the girl and pointed at the couch.
"Ah huh, whatever," she mumbled. She laid her head down on one of the couch pillows and pretended to go to sleep. As soon as Byron and Zim had left the room, she quickly sat up and put her coat back on. After a quick glance over to straighten out any wrinkles, Sora walks off in the direction the aliens went.
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A/N: Well, another chapter down and a new character introduced, finally. Just so you all know, any chapter that features "Sora" is to be considered co-authored by DarkShadow1818! Or else! And also, "Sora" is © to her too. Also, Seinfeld is © (and stupid. Lol) Please review. And don't flame me about Seinfeld, please. lol!