"Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens; bright copper kettles and warm, woolen mittens; brown paper packages tied up with strings: these are a few of my favorite things."

- The Sound of Music

Chapter 22

ZIM'S TRIUMPH, DIB'S UPCOMING HUMILIATION OF DOOM!

Zim awoke as dawn broke outside. The sunlight wafted through the curtains of the upstairs bedroom. Since Gaz had moved in, she'd "insisted" that she sleep in a normal bedroom and that Zim sleep with her. Their first night together, Gaz had tried to stay in Zim's room, but she wasn't much for the cramped, almost U-boat-like, conditions. Some people just can't sleep on a bed that's only four feet long and has no sheets or blankets that lies in a room full of humming wires and blinking lights. It also smelled funny.

And so, Zim had become accustomed to sleeping in a human bed with human sheets in a human room. It had been awkward at first, but Gaz "sweetened the deal" as far as that went and since that night, he didn't mind it that much.

Zim lay there wrapped in the warm sheets for a few minutes with his eyes closed. He was awake, but, being Zim with such infinite wisdom, decided to keep them shut for a couple of minutes. Gaz lay there next to him; nestled in his loving arms. He gently stroked her shoulder with his thumb. He loved waking up with her even more than going to sleep with her. He loved having her be the first experience of his morning and he loved the way she smelled. She was, to him, as perfect as a human stink-best could be. She slightly shifted her position in the bed and Zim instantly stopped rubbing her shoulder. He remembered what happened the last time he's accidentally woken her up THIS early in the morning. Those bruises were just now fading.

He would have begun his morning, like he usually did, by kissing Gaz on the cheek, but something was different today. Something was awry. But what was it? Had he left the Sub-atomic Automatic Particle Disruptor running all night, which, if unattended, could cause a disruption in the time stream continuum rendering reality as we now it completely twisted into a nightmarish taco nightmare of taco doom? No. Maybe Gir had set the bed on fire in a spontaneous, impromptu battle to the death with forces far darker than himself? No, it wasn't that either. What was it then? Maybe it was the large, yellow post-it note stuck between his eyes that distracted Zim? Yes, it was definitely that. And the fact that he'd drooled in his sleep.

He snatched it off his face and quickly read it.

----------------------------------------------------------------

"Dear Zim,

DO NOT PANIC! I had to leave on an urgent matter.

I'll be back from McMeaties' as soon as I can. Trust

me, this is very important. As for Dib, carry out our

plan for him as if nothing has changed. And lastly,

please try to be nice to Sora, she is our 'Ace in

the hole', after all. Again, do not panic!

Byron

P.S. We're out of Post-it Notes."

-----------------------------------------------------------------

"What?" Zim said in a very loud tone of voice. "How can this be?"

Gaz stirred next to him," Zim, what did I tell you about ranting this early in the morning? If you know what's good for you, you'll either go back to sleep, or get out of bed and leave me alone."

"Apologies, my beloved Gaz-mokey, but Byron's run away to McMeaties'. He didn't say why. It's an 'urgent matter' he said." Zim told her as he got up from bed and put his pants on. He gave an itch on his ass a quick scratch and walked out of the room. Gaz rolled over and went back to sleep.

"It is no worry of Zim," he said as he walked down the hall. "I am so AMAZING, I shall complete The Plan before Byron returns!" He paused for a moment and waved his claws in front of his face, "AMAZING!"

Zim, after getting his breakfast burrito, marched his way down to Dib's holding cell and opened the door quietly. Dib was, like the beast he'd become, curled up in the corner sleeping. Every so often, Dib would make a groaning sound and twist around in his spot.

Zim very quietly tiptoed over to the sleeping monster-boy with the monstrously colossal head and declared, "WAKE UP, DIB-STINK! Today's your big day. You're going into the 'show business' thingy," he said and tazed Dib with his tranquilizer.

Zim expertly put on his not so expert disguise and carried Dib off down the hall. Just as Byron had asked, Zim was carrying out "the plan" and within a few hours, Dib would no longer be a threat, much less a problem. Zim dragged Dib into the backyard to a conveniently placed tool shed that had been there the entire time. THE ENTIRE TIME!

Zim wrapped the unconscious Dib-creature in a tarp and tied him up with several yards of twine. Then, for authenticity, Zim bashed his head into the wall a couple of times and walked back out of the shed with his new "brown paper package tied up with strings". Zim hoisted Dib over his shoulder once more and, with the assistance of his spider-legs, walked off while whistling a merry tune and scratching his ass as the sun rose higher into the sky. In the distance, a dog barked as robot-squirrels dance on a neighboring rooftop.

In a few hours, it would all be done and Byron would be back from McMeaties' to find a triumphant Zim waiting for him.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Sorry I've been away so long. I've been a bit on the depressed side, and I haven't been sure where I want this plot to go. If you have ANY ideas, email me so I can steal them. Especially plans for destroying the world. Anything will do, maybe. Anyway, I hoped you liked and please review. More is coming!