Gilderoy Lockhart
Disclaimer: Don't own none x-cept Brian, Gauntlet, and Lucien
When they returned to the Gryffindor Table, Harry and Yugi saw that Ron was holding a scarlet letter in his hands and he looked ill. "What's that?" Harry asked, pointing to the red letter. "He's been sent a Howler," Tea answered for Ron. "Go ahead and open it, Ron. It'll only be worse if you didn't," Neville told him before sticking his fingers in his ears. Ron slowly open it up and the Howler flew out of his hands and floated in the air. The envelope distorted itself to look like a large mouth with pointed teeth. Suddenly, a screaming voice echoed throughout the Great Hall.
"RONALD WEASLEY! HOW DARE YOU STEAL THAT CAR! I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF THEY'D EXPELLED YOU. YOU WAIT TILL I GET HOLD OF YOU. I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU STOPPED TO THINK WHAT YOUR FATHER AND I WENT THROUGH WHEN WE SAW IT WAS GONE-"
Mrs. Weasley's yells, a hundred times louder than normal caused the plates, utensils and goblets on the tables in the Hall rattle against the wood. Everyone in the Great Hall turned around to see who had gotten the Howler, and Ron began to sink beneath the table from embarrassment.
"-LETTER FROM DUMBLEDORE LAST NIGHT, I THOUGHT YOUR FATHER WOULD DIE OF SHAME. WE DIDN'T BRING YOU UP TO BEHAVE LIKE THIS, YOU, HARRY AND YUGI COULD'VE DIED-"
Harry and Yugi were wondering when their names would pop up, and they tried very hard to pretend not to notice the voice, but it was impossible considering it made their eardrums throb.
"-ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED-YOUR FATHER'S FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK. IT'S ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT AND IF YOU PUT ANOTHER TOE OUT OF LINE WE'LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT BACK HOME!"
The letter then turned to Ginny who was sitting next to her brother and seemed to smile.
"By the way Ginny, congratulations on making Gryffindor, your father and I are so proud of you,"
And, with that said, the letter tore itself apart and the pieces fell to the table. "Ok, you know, I was in that car, and so was Mokuba, why doesn't anyway say they're happy WE'RE fine?" Brian complained. Hermione looked over her book and raised an eyebrow. "What? That's the second time no one's bothered to see if I was ok!" he said defensively. "Second?" Hermione asked. "Yeah, remember last year in the Forest? When we ran into Quirrell? Firenze seemed to not even notice I was there! It's like I'm freakin' invisible!" he said throwing his hands up in the air. Tea patted her boyfriend's shoulder. "I have a question, Brian. Can you see out of that eye?" Hermione asked pointing to the synthetic eyeball. "Yeah, why?" he asked. "Well, electronic items are not supposed to function anywhere near Hogwarts. So how can you see out of it?" she wondered. "I sent a letter to Dumbledore for help on that," came a familiar voice. They looked behind Tea to see Kaiba standing there, with his trademark smirk.
"He gave me written instructions on how to make the eye using magic and technology. So I combined them and poof, functioning synthetic," he explained. Brianlooked up at him, "You said it was a leftover," hetold him.Kaiba raised an eyebrow, "And you told Tea that that nosebleed was a side effect. L:ooks like we both lied," he said walking off. "What did he mean by that?" Tea asked Brian, who started to look nervous. "Nothing important," he said shakily."So, Harry, Yugi. What did Malfoy want?" Joey asked them. "Nothing, just some questions he had about the Key," Yugi lied. Harry shot a look at him, but Yugi shook his head. "C'mon, we have Herbology first class this morning," Mokuba said wiping his mouth.
They left the castle and headed down to the greenhouses for Professor Sprouts class. They saw her coming up to them with Lockhart trailing behind. "Ah, hello everyone! I was just showing Professor Sprout how to properly bandage a Whomping Willow!" he said in an overly cheery tone. Yugi and Harry looked in the distance to see the dangerous tree have it's branches in slings. Immediately, they began to feel really guilty. Professor Sprout didn't seem to happy to have Lockhart there at the moment, but turned to her class and smiled. "Greenhouse Three today everyone!" she told them. Whispers buzzed around the large group, on account of they've never been to Greenhouse Three before because only the most dangerous plants known to them.
Inside Greenhouse Number Three, the entire classsurrounded a long table that had soil bags, pots and a large of fuzzy earmuffs of different colors. "Well, class. Today we will be learning how to repot Mandrakes. Now, can anyone tell me what a Mandrake is?" she asked. No one was surprised at all when Hermione's hand shot up into the air. "Alright Miss Granger," Sprout said pointing to her. Hermione cleared her throat, "Mandrake, or Mandragora, is a powerful restorative. It can cures whoever has been Transfigured or Cursed back to their natural state," she recited from memory. "Very good, Miss Granger, ten points to Gryffindor. Now, while it is an essential ingredient in most potion recipes, it is INCREDIBLY dangerous. Can anyone tell me why?" she asked looking at her class. This time, Tea's hand shot up, nearly knocking off Harry's glasses. "Miss Gardner," Professor Sprout nodded. "The cry a Mandrake emits, can cause anyone in hearing range to die," she said loud and clearly. "Excellent! Take another ten points to Gryffindor. Now, our Mandrakes are far too young to kill you with their screams, but they will manage to knock you out for a few good hours.Now everyone grab a pair of earmuffs and make sure they are on your head tight," she instructed.
Everyone reached for a pair of earmuffs, but unfortunately, Joey was stuck with a pair of pink earmuffs, and Professor Sprout took the other pair of pink earmuffs. Yugi and the others had a good laugh at Joey as he made sure they were on tight. Professor Sprout pulled up her sleeve and clutched the top of a plant and pulled as hard as she could. She pulled out a hideous creature, that looked like a disfigured baby made of roots and dirt. She placed the Mandrake into a new pot and covered it with fresh soil, muffling its screams. She took off her earmuffs and looked at her class. "Your trays, tools and soil are in front of you, you are going to yank them out, put them in a new pot and place fresh soil on and around them, so that they may be comfortable and grow healthy. Four people to a pot, off you go," she said before placing the earmuffs back on her head.
Soon, the entire greenhouse was filled with cries of Mandrake as everyone pulled out the de-formed creatures. Malfoy and his friend's were messing around and he got his finger bitten by his Mandrake. Neville's eyes rolled into the back of his head and he fell to the floor unconcious. "Longbottom! His earmuffs weren't on tight enough!" Professor Sprout said shaking her head. Seamus Finnigan looked Neville over and back at the Professor Sprout, "No ma'am, his earmuffs are on, I think he's just fainted," he said. The Gryffindors shook their heads and smiled, right when Mokuba fell to the floor unconcious. "Ok, he...didn't have them on tight enough that time around," Brian said pointing at the fallen Kaiba brother.
Transfiguration class didn't go as easy as they expected, most of the stuff they learned seemed to have died away in their grey matter. Ron had a lot of trouble with his wand, it had snapped into two when they crashed into the Whomping Willow. He crushed the beetle he was trying to transform, with his elbow, and when he asked McGonagall for another, she wasn't very pleased.
Lunch finally came, and everyone but Kaiba, Tea and Hermione who seemed not at all tired from the extensive work and frustration. Ron tried to fix his wand with Spell-o-Tape but it was no use. "You should write home for a new one," Yugi suggested. "Yeah, and get another Howler. It was your fault your wand broke," he mimicked his mothers voice. "So, what class we got next?" Brian asked anyone who heard him. "Defense Against the Dark Arts," Hermione told him. Ron leaned over and looked at a sheet of paper she had. "Why...do all of Lockharts classes outlined with hearts?" he asked. She just glared at him and put away her schedule.
They finished their lunch and spent the rest of the lunch period outside in the large courtyard, either talking or playing Duel Monsters. Harry got the distinct feeling that he was being watched.and he looked up to see a small mousy haired boy with a Muggle camera. "Hey Harry!" he said excitedly, snapping a picture of him. "Um...do I know you?" he asked. "My name is Colin, Colin Creevey, I'm a first year Gryffindor," he introduced himself, quickly shaking Harry's hand. He turned to Yugi and shook his hand as well, "And I know about you too! You're Yugi Motou, the King of Games from Japan!" he said with a big grin on his face. "I know someone who says she knows you personally, hang on let me wave her over!" he said turning around and waving his hand frantically.
"Uh..Yugi, we're uh...gonna go back in now," Joey said hurriedly. Yugi turned and frowned "What, why? What's wrong?" he asked. Brian and Tea dragged Hermione and Ron inside with them, "We uh...have something to do, CMON YAMI!" he screamed yanking the Pharaoh away. "What's with them?" Yugi wondered. He turned around and got his answer. A small girl in pigtails practically knocked him over and wrapped her arms tightly around Yugi's body. "YUGI! I didn't know you went here too!" she said happily. Yugi recovered himself and looked down, "R-R-Rebecca? What are you doing here?" he stammered as he plucked Rebecca Hawkins away from him.
After lunch, the gang filed into Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom and waited for Lockhart to come in. "Sorry, Yugi. We had to leave you there, better you than us," Joey apologized, rubbing the back of his head. Yugi moaned and banged his head against his desk. The door opened and Gilderoy Lockhart walked through to greet the class. "My name is Gilderoy Lockhart. Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming-Smile Award-but I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!" he said showing his pearly whites. "So, seeing as everyone has bought the entire set of my works, let's have ourselves a little quiz shall we?" he said handing out parchment.
Everyone looked at the test and saw the list of questions:
1. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favorite color?
2. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition?
3. What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest achievement to date?
The list went on and on and on until the last question whichread:
54: When is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday, and what would his ideal gift be?
"You have GOT to be kiddin' me," Joey said shaking his head. Bakura leaned over and whispered to them "Hey, you guys wanna mess with this idiot? Write the answers in Japanese and Egyptian," he said smirking. They nodded and at the end of the test, when Gilderoy was looking over the answers he shook his head. "Tut tut-hardly any of you remembered that my favorite color is lilac. I say so in Year with the Yeti. And a few of you need to read Wanderings with Werewolves more carefully-I clearly state in chapter twelve that my ideal birthday gift would be harmony between all magic and non-magic peoples-though I wouldn't mind a bottle of Ogden's Old Firewhiskey!"
He gave them a roguish wink and held two papers up. "However, TWO students in this class got every single answer correct. Miss Hermione Granger and Miss Tea Gardner knew my secret ambition is to rid the world of evil and market my own range of hair-care products! Full marks to both of you! Where are you, by the way?" he asked looking over his class. Tea and Hermione raised their hands, blushing at their appraise. "Excellent, both of you! Take ten points a piece for Gryffindor! Now, there were some...individuals that had some fun in answering these quizzes. I will not say their names aloud, but I since I cannot translate Egyptian, Japanese and...what looks like Sumerian or Aramaic, I will have Professor Dumbledore translate these for me," he said putting them away. Hermione and Tea looked back at the boys and frowned. They just looked off into space, pretending not to notice.
"Now, I am here to teach you how to protect yourselves from the most dangerous things known to Wizard kind! Here I have, in this cage, underneath this cover, are freshly caught Cornish Pixies!" he said dramatically as he whipped off the sheet to reveal a cage filled with blue creatures with wings and large black eyes. "Now, ready your wands everyone!" he yelled as he let them loose. About half the class ducked underneath their desks, as the pixies flew around the room, knocking everything down. "I got the feeling this aint good," Brian said to Bakura. "We'll be fine, the prick's an idiot though," he muttered as he batted away three pixies with his fist. "AH!" Joey yelled as four pixies picked him up by the hair and flew around the room. "GET 'EM OFF! GET 'EM OFF!" he pleaded as he was dragged around.
"Don't worry everyone! I'll get them back into the cage simple as that!" Lockhart yelled over the noise as he pulled out his wand and waved it around "Peskispiksi Pesternomi!"he yelled right before two pixies stole his wand. "Uh...well I will leave this to you students as an assignment," he yelled before leaving and slamming the door behind them. Hermione and Tea stood up on a couple of desks and pointed their wands at the pixies "Immobilus!" they screamed and with a bright flash, all the pixies stopped in mid air and floated through the air. Bakura began to move out from under the desk when Brian stopped him "I wouldn't go out there...," he warned. "Oh please, Guardian, they're taken care of," he said scooting from the desk, and looking around.
"AH!" Joey and Neville yelled when they fell from the light fixture that the pixies had stashed them. They fell directly on top of Bakura who broke their fall and possible something of his own. "Warned ya," Brian said moving to the other side. Harry and Ron started to help Hermione and Tea put the pixies back in the cage. "Well? What do you say now you two?" Ron asked them. "He just wanted to give us hands on experience," Hermione told him as she moved three pixies into the cage. "Hands on? He had no clue what the bloody hell he was doing!" Ron snapped at her. She shook her head, "Rubbish, you've read his books, you've read about what he's done," she pointed out. Harry and Yugi looked at each other then back at the two girls. "We've read what he says he's done,".
Kilnorc: dere ya go! chappy update! for future victims and weirdness in story i will happily look at suggestions to those who have them. R and R!