Disclaimer: This a Stephanie Plum FanFiction Story. All recognizable characters belong to the fabulous Janet Evanovich. I am just borrowing her amazing characters for a while. I'm grateful she allows us to play.
Summary: Stephanie takes a temp job at RangeMan for some extra holiday cash. A little mistletoe mayhem ensues. Canon divergent – Steph is a bounty hunter for Vinnie with the same cast of characters, but Steph only knows Ranger as the enigmatic owner of RangeMan. This is a short six chapter story.
Warning: Adult language and adult situations.
A/N: A short story in response to Janet Evanovich Fan Fiction Facebook group's December Writing Challenge.
Activity: Mistletoe
Trope: First Kiss
Dialogue: Fix it! "It's a ransom note." "I don't care about grammar." "There is no excuse for bad grammar."
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Mistletoe Mayhem
Chapter One
Stephanie rolled up to the bonds office in her current POS car that wheezed and sputtered to a stop, a plume of toxic blue smoke curled out the tailpipe, suspended in the air. The thing burned a quart of oil a day, and she had a sneaking suspicion that might be edging closer to two if the amount of smoke pouring out was any indication.
She tugged her coat tighter to ward off the frigid December air as she jogged across Hamilton Street. Cranked on high, the ancient heater in her POS blew out lukewarm air, but it knocked off the worst of the chill, and she immediately missed the warmth. A shiver went through her as little snowflakes floated and danced in the air. Her breath joined the choreography with each exhale. Everyone was predicting a white Christmas, but Stephanie didn't feel much Christmas cheer.
If things kept going in their current direction, forget holiday cheer. She'd be homeless by New Year's. She didn't even have enough money to get a cup of hot chocolate, let alone buy presents or pay rent.
Stephanie spotted Les Santos' Escalade parked at the curb. Les did the occasional high-bond skip for Vinnie and other business that Stephanie didn't care to think too much about. They helped each other out occasionally. Well, OK, mostly Les had saved her ass, and she distracted a few bad guys in return.
She liked Les. He was easygoing and drop dead gorgeous. Both qualities made him a hit with the ladies, and Les liked to spread his particular brand of charm around. Les had a lot of first dates and not many second. While he flirted shamelessly with her, Stephanie didn't need to be another one of Les' first and only dates. They'd settled into an easy friendship punctuated with flirty banter and the occasional heated glance.
Les worked for RangeMan and that's where things really got interesting. RangeMan was owned by Carlos Manoso, mostly known as Ranger. Every time she saw him her heart stuttered, her panties got wet, and the hair on the back of her neck stood straight up. He was equal parts gorgeous and terrifying.
The few times he had been at the bonds office, his dark, assessing gaze made her weak in the knees. Other than a couple of 'babes' thrown her way in that silky, rumbly purr of his that sounded like spectacularly sinful sex, they'd never spoken. Mainly because Stephanie was so tongue tied around him it was impossible. Mostly she just watched and thought about what he might look like naked while Connie fanned herself with a file and he fought to extract himself from Lula's wandering hands.
Stephanie was convinced Ranger barely knew she existed, and a part of her suspected he called her babe because he didn't actually know her name. He was one of those men you lusted after and had fantasies about from afar.
Connie Rossoli, Vinnie's office manager, was at her desk filing her nails when Stephanie stepped in, shaking the snow off of her coat and out of her curly hair that had tipped over into a wild tumble. Connie looked up and gave Stephanie a wave.
Connie was a couple of years older than Stephanie, a couple of inches shorter, and way curvier. Her nails were painted blood red, and her dark brown hair was teased within an inch of its life. Connie definitely subscribed to the higher the hair, the closer to God philosophy. Stephanie had no idea how she managed it in hat weather, and chalked it up to a combination of Catholic devotion and divine intervention. Stephanie had kept the Catholic guilt but lost the rest.
The door to the inner office was closed, and Stephanie assumed Les was inside with Vinnie.
She motioned with her head to the door. "Les in there?"
"Yeah," Connie responded. "They're talking business."
"Do I want to know?"
"Probably not. Les did some clean-up for Vinnie." Connie replied.
Stephanie's lip curled back at that statement, and she staunchly refused to speculate what clean-up and Vinnie in the same sentence might entail.
"Anything new?" Stephanie asked hopefully.
If no one skipped bail, Stephanie had no chance of paying her rent and Christmas was going to be a bust. Stephanie barely had enough money that she'd scraped from under the couch cushions to get a candy bar. Times were getting desperate.
"Sorry," Connie shrugged. "Nothing."
This was turning out to be a bummer of a day. So much for holiday spirit and good will towards men. Stephanie was a pet parent, and Rex needed hamster crunchies. This called for drastic measures, or at least desperate ones.
She decided she didn't need any witnesses to her latest example of bad judgement, so Stephanie waited for Les outside the bail bonds office. He emerged five minutes later, and she was temporarily distracted by his drool worthy body, which was second only to his perfect face. Despite being December, he was wearing a black t-shirt that fit him like a tattoo and black cargo pants tucked into black bates boots. He looked every bit the bad boy player he was.
"Hey," she said, realizing she sounded as lame as she felt.
"Hey yourself." Les replied as he surveyed her over the top of his shades and pulled on his jacket, obscuring the view of his impressive abs outlined under his painted-on shirt.
She'd mentally named his abs after Santa's eight reindeer. What man had an eight pack? Well other than Ranger anyway, and she wasn't entirely sure he was human. She realized she was blatantly staring at Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen, and quickly yanked her eyes away, but not before Les gave her a knowing grin.
"Connie said you were talking to Vinnie." Stephanie mumbled trying to get her thoughts back on track, now that the eight little reindeer were back in the barn.
Les gave a snort. "Not hardly. Transacting business. I don't talk to Vinnie."
"Fair enough." She looked down and toed the ground. "That's kind of what I wanted to talk to you about."
"Business?"
"Yeah, well the truth is the bounty huntering hasn't been going all that good."
"No one jumping bail?"
"That too." She scrunched up her nose and shrugged.
Les' lip tipped up, and he crossed his arms and leaned up against his SUV. "And?"
"I've been thinking about diversifying." Stephanie hedged.
"And?"
"I thought maybe you could help me."
"Are you talking about investing money, because I've got a guy."
Stephanie held up her hand. "No, I'm talking about making money. I need some extra cash for Christmas. Well that, and rent."
"What did you have in mind?"
Stephanie shifted her weight from her left foot to her right and back again. "Something legal."
She knew this was a slippery slope. RangeMan operated in the space between not quite legal and downright illegal sometimes. They made apprehensions other agents only dreamed about. Sure, they could get a little creative sometimes, but hey, that's the way it was with genius, right?
"Legal?"
"OK, mostly legal." Stephanie figured there were all kinds of legal, and being homeless wasn't on her top ten list for the new year. Legal, near legal. Stephanie could color outside the lines.
"You sure about this?"
"Yes." Um, no, not at all, but she kept her face blank. Les didn't look fooled.
"OK, let me talk to Ranger. We have some searches and distractions that we could probably use some help on."
Stephanie almost missed the second part of that sentence. She was back on the Ranger part. The mention of his name caused fire to streak through her. Ranger was six feet of pure yum that smelled like heaven and redefined hot-as-fuck. Ranger had never given any indication he even noticed she was alive, but that didn't stop Stephanie from enjoying some remarkably vivid thoughts about Ranger. He starred in a lot of her shower massager fantasies, her battery-operated-boyfriend fantasies, and well, really all her fantasies. Even the ones she had while standing in line at the tasty pastry.
He'd done a lot more headlining lately. She was in the off phase of her on-again, off-again relationship with Morelli. This time she wondered if Morelli broke up with her just so he didn't have to buy her a Christmas present. Maybe he thought she expected an engagement ring. An involuntary shudder worked its way through her at the spectre of Christmas with Morelli's family and his crazy Grandma Bella. She felt like she'd dodged a bullet, which probably didn't bode well for the whole marriage and family thing.
She blew a curl out of her face.
"Thanks, Les. I appreciate it."
"Sure thing bomber." Les winked at her and she flipped him a classic Italian salute.
One little bomb and a not so little fire, and she was branded for life. That didn't seem fair. Stephanie watched Les' very fine ass walk away. If her dry spell between Morelli break-ups lasted too much longer, she might need to rethink the whole Les thing.
Surely, he was good at it. A man that dated that many women had to be, right? Or gawd, what if he wasn't? What if he had so many first and only dates because he sucked at sex? Maybe he had a tiny little member. An involuntary snort erupted from her at the prospect. Surely fate wouldn't be that cruel. But then again, a man that fine had to have a flaw somewhere. Stephanie chuckled to herself. Maybe he was a crier.
Stephanie was mumbling and calculating the odds when she heard a voice behind her.
"Babe?"
Stephanie yelped and jumped like she had been electrocuted. Ranger was standing behind her, arms crossed over his massive chest, with an amused expression on his face. His dark eyes twinkled with laughter as he assessed her.
Oh shit, she'd been talking to herself again. Out loud. Her face flushed red all the way to the tips of her ears.
Stephanie made a vague pointing gesture towards the way Les had gone. "I suppose there's no hope you didn't hear all of that."
"No" Ranger confirmed. The corner of his mouth tipped up like he was thinking about smiling.
She couldn't help but admire the view. The sheer maleness of his form was impressive, with his muscular arms crossed over his broad chest, drawing her eyes to his perfect body. Her eyes scanned a little lower, to the V that trailed down to the low-slung black cargo pants that showcased powerful thighs. She studiously avoided looking at his crotch, but she knew from the times she ogled him from afar, the ones where he hadn't noticed she was even alive, she reminded herself. Everything about Ranger was big.
Stephanie's lip drew back. Oh gawd, what if he was like that kid Tommy Peterson from high school and just stuffed things down his pants to fool people? Her eyes snapped down before she could stop them and her brows knitted together as she looked solely in the name of science. Her eyes whipped back to his face, and from his expression, she would swear he read her mind. He seemed like he might be a little offended, and now the substantial bulge was like a flashing neon sign drawing her eyes south.
She forced herself to focus on his face. That's when she really went down for the count. Stephanie was hit full-force by his perfection. Up close he was even more beautiful, with that flawless skin and features that belonged to a god, not a mere mortal. He assessed her with his captivating brown eyes fringed with thick dark lashes and that sinful mouth tipped up in a smirk, as he read her every thought in real-time. Awareness surged through her and her panties got embarrassingly damp and her nipples were hard enough to cut glass. Thankfully, her ratty winter coat hid that fact. As his eyes darkened ever so slightly and his nostrils flared like a predator scenting the air, she got a bad feeling her coat wasn't the armor she had hoped.
Stephanie crossed her arms and mirrored his stance. She scrunched up her face and toed the ground. If her face got any hotter, she would glow like Rudolph's nose.
"When can you start?" Ranger asked.
His question confused her addled brain, that was back on mentally undressing him. "Start?"
"As a contractor. Les said you were looking for some side jobs." Ranger clarified.
His rich, silky voice sent shivers up her spine. Stephanie gave him credit; the look he was giving her didn't suggest she was daft even though she was stammering and babbling. No, he was looking at her like she might be a tasty snack. One he could really sink his perfect teeth into. That little whimpering sound came from her. Ranger waited, and it felt like her body was about to go up in flames.
Stephanie realized he was waiting for her to answer. "Oh, right. Anytime." Her response came out in a rushed tumble of words.
She gave him a weak smile and wondered how he already knew about her conversation with Les. A part of her suspected he had been standing there the whole time.
"Can you do a distraction tonight?"
"Sure."
"I'll pick you up at six. Wear something sexy."
"Office worker sexy or club sexy?"
"Office." Ranger graced her with a small smile.
Her heart stuttered; eyes glued to that perfect mouth. Everything about him was hard, except for his lips. Those just looked soft and inviting. Lips she'd like to get seriously acquainted with.
Stephanie would have sworn she heard the sound of tires screeching in her head as her brain caught up and she processed his words.
"Wait," she practically shouted. "You're picking me up. Not Les?" Her voice was high-pitched, panic evident. All the air had left her lungs and a steel band constricted her chest.
Ranger nodded, which she assumed meant yes, and then he was gone. How did Ranger even know where she lived?
Get it together, she told herself, you need the money. Stephanie pried the door of her POS open and cranked over the engine a few times until if finally caught. Blue smoke poured out forming a cloud around her. She threw the car into gear and chugged off, hoping no one called the fire department again. Time to head home and make herself look sexy. She figured she had a better chance of winning the lottery, and she might even buy a ticket if she had enough money.