Coping
Chapter 4: Free
Buttamellow
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is owned by J.K Rowling, Warner Brothers, and its various publishers. No money is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.
I finally saw Ron the other day. It was so…awkward. It's almost as though he's too lost, too confused to actually accept the fact that Harry's gone. He denied it. Said it was all a lie. Said that Harry would show up and say that it was all a mistake, all a farce and that life would go on again. That we would be happy again and everything would be fine. I…wish. Oh, how I wish.
But, it isn't true. It…it isn't. And it doesn't help to go on believing in something that isn't true. We…we have to accept it. We have to…to quit playing games. I told Ron. I told him that he had to stop. He couldn't keep…it didn't help…it wasn't…he had to stop. Stop believing in something that would never come true. Harry was gone. He was gone and we had to…
I broke. I had to leave. I couldn't stand there with him any longer. I couldn't stand there and listen to him. I couldn't see the determined hope on his face. The…the...
Choking on a breath of air, I turned around. I don't know. I guess part of me hoped that he would, he'd grab me and hug me and tell me that it'd be okay. Part of me wanted him to…care. I paused. I waited for a moment before beginning to walk off.
And he never called.
I'm not sure if Ron even notices that I'm there sometimes. It seems that the only time he truly pays attention to me is when I'm either extremely emotional or correcting him- which he hates. Harry was always the one who kept us together.
I still haven't come to grips with everything yet. It's so difficult to when I am still unwilling to fully accept it as truth. I've always been level headed and reasonable. I've always known the difference between fact and opinion, true or false, wrong and right. Why can't I come to a valid answer for this?
I haven't seen Ginny around anywhere either. I wonder how she's taking all of this. She and Harry were…
But, I just don't want to do anything anymore. I don't see the use in it. Studying seems like such a waste of time. So, I wander the halls aimlessly hoping that eventually I'll get lost. That I'll find a way back to the past. That I'll find Harry and he'll be standing opposite me with that look on his face.
Merlin! It's just not fair! He was only seventeen years old! He'd never gotten to have a real chance at life. Why, oh why, was it taken away from him? He who deserved it most of all!
I knew something astronomical was going to happen this year, I could just feel it. But, I didn't expect it to be this.
My only consolation is that he can finally be happy. Be free. Be with the family he never knew and the godfather he missed so dearly. Maybe he's in a better place now.
Maybe he's free.