A/N – sorry for all the swearing, and all the Christian oaths…can't be helped, they're the Marauders, you know. Do whatever they please, those chaps. And thank you to Nemiflower and bellatrixez powerz for reviewing! I made these other chappys 4 them. . Now, on with the story!
James was thudding his head against the wall, and stopped to look at Remus expectantly.
"Er…ten minutes to go. She's absolutely fine," Remus said awkwardly. Then, "Guess what? Prongs, your wife said the 'f' word!"
Sirius caught on. "Jesus Christ!" he screamed, and passed out. Peter entered, chewing on yet more butter cookies.
"What are we doing here, again?" he asked. James commenced banging his head against the wall again.
"Lily's having her baby," Remus explained patiently. They heard another gut - wrenching scream from the op room.
"Oh, Christ," James whispered. Sirius sat up, and everyone looked at him. "I thought you had passed out," James said bitterly.
"Nah, that got boring. Oh yeah! Tracin said, sorry she couldn't be here, she's on patrol duty for Inferi. And Sylvia is at school, but sends her best wishes, and Katie is here. So, now that we know where everybody is…let's…"
"Don't even think about it!" James warned.
"Too late," Sirius said. "But for your sake, Prongs, old pal, I will not voice my splendid idea." Remus smiled. A very harried looking Healer stumbled out of the room.
"Your baby is born, Mr. Potter. And your wife is fine. They are both doing beautifully. "
Everyone looked at James. James looked at everyone. Then he passed out for real, with a noise that can only be described as, "Meep."