Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or Labyrinth...I shall however be attempting to re-make it in my underground studio just so soon as I can find a way to blackmail Bowie.

LABYRINTH...FMA STYLE

Prologue

"I HATE EVERYTHING! I hate you, and you, and you, and you, and especially you!" yelled Envy.

Ed opened the door and peeped in. "Envy, can you keep it down? And you need to stop talking to your stuffed animals anyway – it's not like they can hear you," he said, rolling his eyes.

"Not that it's any of your business, but they need to know I hate them," said Envy, crossing his arms and sitting down on the bed (with Spongebob sheets) in a huff. "And I hate you too – how on earth did I get stuck babysitting again?"

"You agreed to baby-sit when Father threatened to unhook the Cable if you didn't."

"BUT AREN'T YOU OLD ENOUGH TO LOOK AFTER YOURSELF?" screamed Envy. Edward was fifteen after all.

"Not really. I'm not allowed to use the stove and I'm still scared of the dark so…sucks to be you, buddy!"

"Don't push me," Envy threatened, that murderous glint in his eyes, "or I'll say the words!"

Sighing, Ed came right in and sat down on the floor. "Not this again…you really need to get over that movie."

"That's the last straw!" Envy yelled.

"Don't be so dramatic," said Ed, opening his can of soda and putting the straw in. "I'll get Father to buy some more tomorrow."

Envy screamed into his pink frilly pillow before looking up and glaring at Edward. "I wish the military really would come and take you away…right now!"

At that very moment, Envy heard a loud crash and looked through the window to see what was going on. "Looks like Greed crashed his station wagon into another tree," he said, but when he looked back, Edward was gone. "Well well, surprise of the century…" he said sarcastically. "Hey – like you really needed to add that it was sarcastic!" Sorry Envy, do go on. "Alright, alright."

Luckily, the window was conveniently open and placed close to the ground so the mysterious stranger who was trying to get in didn't need to resort to vandalism.

"You're him, aren't you?" asked Envy, taking a few steps back. "You're the Goblin King!"

"Actually that's Military King, but please – call me Colonel Mustang," the man said.

"…Can I call you Roy?" Envy asked.

"Fine – be like that, ruin the atmosphere!"

"Just listen, Roy," said Envy, "I want my brother back."

"He's not your brother – he's your-"

"Yes, yes, I know but that takes longer to say," Envy explained. "I just need him back or Hoho's going to unhook the Cable!"

"Cable? Oooh! You think I could watch the fight? Just for a little while?" begged Roy.

"Then will you bring Ed back?"

"…What's said is said," said Roy, obnoxiously.

"But-"

"Envy………………………………………………………."

Envy checked his watch – boy was that a long pause. "WHAT? Envy-what?"

"……………………………………..don't defy me."

"Yeesh. Someone needs to get over themselves…" said Envy.

"By the way, I've brought you a gift," said Roy, magically making a crystal ball appear in his hand, and doing fancy tricks with it.

"What is it?" asked Envy.

Roy started passing it from one hand to another and almost juggling it. "It's a crystal – nothing more, but if you turn it this way, and look into it, it will-" as can only be expected of one wearing gloves who happens to be clumsy anyway, Roy dropped it. "Oopsy…" he tried to pick up the pieces (in a way that seemed suspiciously like the 'bend and snap' technique) but it was hopeless. "Darn – this is that pottery exhibition all over again…"

"Just tell me where he is, already!" said Envy.

"You know very well where he is," said Roy, and suddenly they were outside in the wilderness. "He's there – in my castle," Roy pointed to some sort of shack in the distance. Unfortunately there was a Labyrinth between them and Roy's so-called castle.

"It doesn't look that far," said Envy.

"Turn back, Envy! Before it's all too late…" said Roy dramatically.

"What do you mean 'turn back'? I'm still right here."

"Whatever! You have thirteen hours to get to him, or he becomes one of us forever!" said Roy, fading into nothingness.

Something didn't seem right. "Hey wait – Ed's already in the military," said Envy.

Roy suddenly appeared again. "I'm going to turn him into a goblin, you fool!"

"But I asked if you were the Goblin King and you said that you weren't…"

"I know," said Roy, "but just because I'm not the Goblin King doesn't mean I don't rule over a hoard of goblins now does it?"

"Fine."

Roy disappeared once more, leaving Envy to find a way to conquer the labyrinth on his own.

To be continued...possibly.