Chapter 24
Rogue could feel Kurt hit the ground in her head as she teleported to Ororo's loft. She knew the others would've tried looking for her in either her room or Remy's first. The roof or anywhere outside would've been too cold since she wasn't wearing any socks or shoes. The early February snow would've just been slightly too cold for her. Ororo's loft was the place she could go and expect complete solitude until she wanted to be found.
Her head swam with Kurt's thoughts, his power, his body attributes… That part was new. She felt as if a prehensile tail wanted to poke out of her jeans. Frightened, she found a mirror among the many plants and examined her bottom. Luckily, she felt no writhing bump underneath her pants. Just to be sure, she checked her eyes, ears, teeth, anything that would've made her look like Kurt.
Sighing with relief when she found nothing, she sat down on Ororo's bed and tried to sort out her head. She could sense things through his eyes almost – more than she could before. Right now though, he was still unconscious by the table, Hank preparing to take him to the Med lab.
After she sensed that, she began feeling Xavier searching for her. With a snarl, she began building her walls. She knew they wouldn't be perfect without the aid of some sort of psychic powers that she would have to borrow eventually, but they would be shields nonetheless. Once she felt secure, she lay back on the bed and continued to process the images and thoughts in her head.
Kurt was still upset about their mother, no doubt, but it was more than he let on. With her eyes closed, Rogue envisioned him from the night before, by his bed praying and talking to their mother.
"I miss you," he had said, small streams flowing from his golden eyes.
With a second thought, Rogue was there with him. "Ah'm sorry," she told the Kurt in the memory. "Ah didn't mean ta hurt ya when Ah touched ya." All her guilt from the minutes before poured out, even though the Kurt in the memory couldn't hear to see her and wished only for their mother.
Slightly jealous over the lack of attention, even though she couldn't figure out why, Rogue thought long and hard about their mother. Determined, she remembered back on that fateful night how she had taken her mother into her. She refused to let that final fragment leave her. She couldn't have let Xavier take that away from her during one of his cleaning sessions.
Then she was there. Raven was there. Rogue extended her hand and grabbed a hold of her mother gently and pulled her into a hug. "Don't let Kurt forget," she whispered into Rogue's ear. Rogue nodded and held her mother tighter. Then she felt strange, as if she was melting.
"Momma?" she called out. The sensation reflexively made her close her eyes.
"Don't be afraid. This is the best way I could be with you forever – to give you a piece of me to last."
"Ah'm scared though." Her voice had become small and frightened. "Ah can't help it."
"I will help you, Beth. Just let me."
Rogue nodded shakily and shut her eyes even tighter. In a minute moment, she was solid again. But her arms were empty. She looked to her hands.
Blue.
She blinked. Without thinking, she fingered her hair. It was still waist length, but it was straighter. "…What?"
Kurt was still praying, so Rogue once again moved in front of him. "Kurt?"
He looked up and connected eyes with her. "Mom?"
She blinked again. "Okay. Too weird." And then she woke up out of her trance. "Umm…" she shifted, feeling a lump underneath her butt. She rolled over, noticing the bump squirming about. "You've gotta be kiddin' me." Sighing, she got up from the bed and found the mirror she used before. When she saw her reflection, she didn't know whether to scream or faint.
------
Hank carried Kurt off with everyone watching again. Kitty was especially worried as they were best friends. She insisted upon dragging Bobby to go with her down to the Med lab with Hank.
Remy stood in silence, unsure of what to do next. Rogue was gone, obviously, so there was the matter of finding her. Xavier was in the process of scanning the area psychically, but when he let out a final sigh, Remy knew the professor hadn't found her anywhere.
"Did she build her shields at all with you, Remy?" he asked, his eyebrows knit in thought.
"Not in de last week, non. Kurt was de first one she absorbed since dat night an' she usually needs a psychic t' build dem."
"Usually?"
Remy shrugged. "Anyt'in' could be possible now, I t'ink."
"Hmm… this is true. Any place she could have gone?"
"Her room, my room… y' don' t'ink she went t' de place she was nabbed b'fore, do y'?"
"Any place is possible. I'll send Logan out there. Any where else?"
"Little places. Y' might wan' try de Danger Room, too."
"I wasn't planning on ruling anything out. We'll end up searching the entire institute until she turns up."
"Oui. I'll head upstairs an' check de rooms." Remy bounded out of the room.
Xavier cleared his throat. "It seems we've lost one of our guests of honor," he said lightheartedly, addressing the dining room audience. "Just go about eating and I'm sure she'll reappear soon. Thank you." Then he rolled out of the dining room, leaving everyone to whisper about what had just occurred. A few left the room to help in the search, such as Paige, Jubilee and Piotr. They agreed to meet up in 15 minutes at the main staircase.
Remy was well up the staircase already and racing down the women's wing. He stopped for a moment in front of Rogue's room, but sensed no one inside. He thought of going straight to his room to check there for her, but thought better of it.
Instead, he tried for Kurt's room, which was the next likely. She had absorbed him, so maybe she was drawn to there for comfort. Unfortunately for him, when he got there, he knew she wasn't inside.
He knew he had to narrow down which of the possible rooms she could be in, or he and the rest of the search team would spend all night looking for her. The roof could've been some comfort to her, but in his head he knew it was too cold that she would not last long out there. Shrugging, he headed towards Ororo's loft, hoping he could quickly sneak through there and cut up to the roof, just incase she was there.
As he was striding there, he heard an all too familiar scream. It wasn't out of fear, mainly shock, and it was followed by a thump. "Merde," he mumbled, quickening his pace even more towards Ororo's loft. He knew the shriek had to have come from in there.
The door was luckily unlocked, momentarily thanking Ororo for her undying trust in everyone. He swung the door open and dodged the many plants in his way until he found Rogue. Or… who he thought was Rogue.
On the hardwood floor laid a girl, oddly appearing like a female Kurt. She had fallen on her side, and it was obvious there was something hiding beneath her jeans that longed to be free. Her skin was blue and slightly furry, though she still had ten fingers and ten toes. Her hair was still long and curly, although it had turned midnight blue. The only way Remy knew it was Rogue was because the distinctive white streak still contrasted with the dark color of her hair and skin.
Without thinking, he ran over to her side, and propped her up on his lap. "Chere? Rogue? C'mon, p'tite, talk t' me." He rubbed her shoulder, trying to rouse her out of her sudden unconsciousness.
"…remy?"
"Dat's right, chere. It's me. What happened?"
She glanced wearily to the mirror in front of them. "Ah turned inta Kurt…" She turned to him slowly, tears glistening in her now golden eyes. "Momma melded with me in mah mind…"
"We gotta get y' t' Hank, chere. He'll figure dis out. Maybe dis is de t'ing 'bout y' powers mutatin'."
"Ah don't want anyone ta see me like this!" she suddenly shrieked with a burst of energy. "They cain't know, Remy. Tell me ya won't tell 'em."
He looked at her sternly. "How are dey not gon' know? Dis pro'bly won' happen jus' once. If y' absorb anyone, den y'll start takin' some of deir physical appearance. Dat's not somet'in' y' c'n hide easily, 'm sorry t' say."
"Then Ah won't absorb anyone anymore. It's not like it's necessary that Ah hafta do it. Ah'm not in danger anymore so what is the point of usin' mah powers?"
"Rogue," he said, trying to get through to her and hoping that since he was using her name instead of a pet name, she would truly listen to him. "Y' know y' can' fall out of usin' y' powers. Y' never know what may happen. An' how are y' gon' explain missin' out on danger room sessions?"
"People are gonna be so careful around me, Remy!" She got out of his lap and stood up. "They're not gonna expect anythin' from me foh the longest time because of what happened-"
"So y' gonna use people's pity t' keep y' secret hidden?" He almost spat the words. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "I can' believe y' takin' advantage of people's compassion like dat, Rogue!" He was standing up now and glowering down at her.
She suddenly realized what she had been saying. The delight fell from her eyes and was replaced by guilt. "Oh mah gawd… Ah cain't believe Ah was sayin' that." As she came to her senses, her skin began to pale and her eyes slowly filled with their natural green shade. In her mind, the shadows were crawling over Kurt and hiding him in the depths of her mind like tentacles. Tears sprang to her eyes as she felt Kurt wake up and leave her.
In her mind, she rushed to the door. It was still broken. She attempted to push it shut in hopes of catching whatever she could of Kurt, but it swung open limply after her furious attempt to keep it closed.
"Rogue?"
Her eyes slowly opened, allowing her tears to fall. "He's gone."
"Who's gone, chere?" He took a step closer to her.
"Kurt… there's none of him left like befoh. Ah remember his memories, and Ah can tell the difference between his an' mah own." She looked at her hands. They were back to normal. "There's none of him left besides that."
"Y' mean y' won' be able t' teleport days from now?"
She shook her head. "Ah don't think so. Unless Ah can find out where he went in mah head. He didn't go to the closet where Ah kept all the things Ah'd absorbed."
"Do y' want me t' get Jean or somet'in'?"
She shook her head quickly. "No!" She caught her tone of voice. "Ah mean… they just let me out, ya know? Ah still don't wanna show this sort of weakness. Ah know Ah can figure out what happened on mah own."
He nodded, understanding her explanation. He stood up next to her, and pulled her into a hug. "Whatev'r y' want, chere. I'll be here no matter what."
She buried her face against his shirt, trying to swallow any other tears that threatened to appear. "Thank you, Remy," she said against his chest. "Ah don't know why Ah acted that way."
"Maybe it residual feelings from y' maman. Y' said she could act smug towards y' when y' were younger."
Rogue nodded, though her forehead never lifted off his shirt. "That makes sense. What if Ah start actin' coldly every time Ah absorb someone? It's like my powers are workin' with hers now, an' Ah can't control it."
Remy smiled gently as he pulled away from her. She looked up, confused why he had ended the embrace, but her expression melted when her eyes connected with Remy. "Chere, y' be one of de strongest people I know. Y' gon' figure dis out, even if it means y' gon' have t' stick wit' de way t'ings are. Maybe dis is how y' powers mutated."
She sighed, though her eyes met up with Remy's once again. There it was again: the glimmer of hope and happiness that Remy adored about her gentle green eyes. "You'll be there ta help me, raht?"
His smile grew into a smirk. "'Course, p'tite. I'll always be dere f'r y'."
Her heart soared with his words. It wasn't as if he had never spoken them before. Quite the contrary, actually. He'd said them so many times to her in the last four years, she was sure they would become meaningless. How he managed to put so much feeling behind the simplest words was beyond her, but she knew she would be eternally grateful to have someone like him in her life. Sure, she was confused about what her actual feelings were towards him at that exact moment, but then again, none of it mattered. No matter what, they would be there for each other until the end. And given their pasts and what they'd overcome already in their short lives, it was like nothing could stop them.
"You're the best, Remy," she managed to whisper with her voice under control. She didn't know why she bothered to hide any emotion she was feeling. She knew Remy's empathy was slightly rusty due to the whole incident, but she could tell it was growing back to normal levels. His face brightened as she radiated with optimism and happiness. His eyes blazed in a way that would've scared anyone else, but Rogue was just so used to it. It was almost crazy to her how much she knew about his reactions and was still comfortable around him as if nothing had happened and nothing was said.
"Y' ready t' go back t' the party?"
She giggled. "Ah don't seem ta have all that much luck stickin' around at mah own parties," she mentioned, obviously referring to her 11th birthday party.
"We'll get it right one of dese times, I know it," he laughed, extending his hand towards her. She took it, grinning. In a deft movement, and as a surprise to her, he carefully but deftly swung her around so she was on his back. She clung on for a moment before relaxing, as she wasn't expecting the action. He boosted her up in a position so she could hang her clothed arms around his neck, and her legs were hooked in his crooked arms.
"Let's get goin'. Ah wanna make sure Kurt's okay," she said, allowing the guilt she was feeling to seep into her voice. Remy nodded and began the trek downstairs with her bobbing behind him with each step.
They didn't bother to stop at the dining room to let everyone know that Rogue was found and safe. Remy managed to easily maneuver around the mansion and avoid everyone until they made it down to the med lab.
Kurt had fully woken up only seconds before they entered the room. Rogue quickly climbed off Remy's back and ran to Kurt's bedside. "Ah'm so sorry, Kurt!" she cried in a hushed tone.
He looked up at her with understanding golden eyes. He did not smile though. "Are you okay?" he asked. Remy smiled briefly to himself. Always like Kurt to check on his sister's well being before worrying about his own.
Rogue's hand found her ponytail and she unconsciously began petting it in a soothing manner. "Ah am," she answered softly.
Then he smiled, as softly as his sister had just spoken. His hand reached out and found her gloved hand. "How are your powers?"
She bit her lip and looked quickly to Remy. He only nodded, encouraging her to tell Kurt. She gnawed her lip a tiny bit more before turning back to him. "They've changed."
"How?"
"Ah have Momma's powers, Ah think."
Kurt blinked, confused. "You mean, you shapeshifted?"
She nodded the faintest of nods. "Mah skin turned blue an' my eyes turned gold an' mah hair was dark blue like yoah's," she whispered.
Kurt blinked again. "Wow. I, um, I guess that makes sense."
She shrugged. "It's gonna be weird. Ah never took on the physical appearance of people Ah absorbed befoh. Oh, Ah forgot ta mention. Ah grew a tail."
His eyes widened and did not blink for once. "A tail?" She nodded somberly. "Where did it go?" He crooked his neck so he could see behind her.
She turned around so he could see her bottom, tailless. "Ah don't know. It didn't feel like it shrank into me, but it just disappeared. Luckily, it wasn't forceful enough ta poke a hole through anything," she giggled half-heartedly. She could feel Remy smile behind her. That would've been awful if that'd happen! Remy walkin' in on me like that! She fought the blush that threatened to rise up her neck.
"Thankfully," Kurt smiled. He turned to Hank, who appeared to be looking over some data papers. "Do you mind if I go?"
"Actually," he glanced at Rogue. "I was hoping if the young Southern Belle would mind if I examined her very quickly." His face was sincere, and Rogue could never say no to him when he addressed her like that.
"Ya promise it'll be quick?"
He held up his paw and crossed his fingers. "Doctor's honor."
Remy chuckled. "Ain' dat de sign for de Boy Scouts, Henri?"
The blue man smiled. "I could not lie and say I was a Scout. How could I earn your trust by lying to you so blatantly?"
Rogue thought about it for another moment. "All raht. Very quick. Then we're all goin' back up ta eat."
"Deal." Hank pulled out his equipment and had Rogue sit down on the bed adjacent to Kurt's. His examination was brief but thorough enough to see that all her physical statistics were average: heart rate, blood pressure, breathing, etc. "You seem healthy to me," he stated, after checking her skin tone and the roots of her hair.
"Do Ah have a clean bill of health?"
"Actually, I was wondering if I could… check for that tail you mentioned."
The blush she had from the examination brightened about three shades. "Ah guess…" she trusted Hank when it came to his professionalism, of course. But that didn't mean she could get embarrassed about someone looking at her bare bum.
Hank smiled and extended his hand. She took it and he explained they were going to the other side of the room behind a curtain.
"We'll wait here for y', p'tite."
Rogue nodded and followed Hank behind the curtain.
Kurt sat back in bed and sighed. "Y' okay?" Remy asked.
"Just a bit worn out. She barely touched me and it was like she held on for a full minute."
"Y' should've seen her… it was like she was your twin."
Kurt laughed, but it wasn't happy. "I wonder what other surprises are in store for her."
"It's just a matter of gettin' her to open up. She's not gon' wan' to talk about it wit'out bein' prompted."
"It's probably really embarrassing for her. And remembering our mom in such a way can't be good at all, either."
Remy sighed. "We say all dese t'ings as if we weren't expectin' it."
"I know what you mean. We knew there was the possibility of her powers being screwed up due to the serum Victor used."
"Hey, has Henri said anyt'in' t' y' 'bout de people dat helped Victor?"
Kurt shook his head sadly. "Not a thing. Though honestly, I've been too preoccupied with making sure Rogue's all right and not going insane to think about who was there."
"Didn' y' see them?"
Kurt was silent for a moment. "I was so blind with anger and fear, I couldn't tell you if I was fighting a man or beast."
"Oh."
"Maybe it'll come back to me. Anyone that helped Victor is obviously, without a doubt, an enemy of ours."
"Definitely."
"Hey, maybe Rogue has the answer!" he suddenly exclaimed, although in a whisper so his voice didn't travel across the room.
"Quoi?"
"Since she absorbed me, maybe my lost thoughts somehow made it to her through the transfer."
"That's stretchin' it, don' y' t'ink? An' her mind isn' workin' de way it was before."
"Oh… wait. What do you mean?"
Remy briefly explained what Rogue had told him about not being able to call back the power. Kurt was about to comment, but Rogue came out from behind the curtain with Hank. Her face was bright red, but Hank appeared puzzled.
"What happened, Rogue?" Kurt asked.
Hank glanced to Rogue, who nodded the go ahead. "There is a small bruise in the area, but Rogue insists she feels no pain when it is prodded." Her blush deepened at the word 'prodded.' Hank continued though. "However, it should be completely healed in no time at all."
Rogue walked over to Remy with her head down and interlaced her gloved hand with his. She noted her other hand was still bare and looked at Kurt guiltily. Hank took note of the dilemma and handed Rogue an extra rubber glove. "I don't recommend you use your powers just yet, Kurt."
Kurt nodded and after Rogue joined hands with him, the trio began their way out of the med lab and upstairs.
"Ah wanna go to mah room really quick an' grab another pair of gloves," Rogue stated when they made it to the main landing once again.
"Do you want us to come with?" Kurt asked.
She shook her head smiling. "That's all raht. Ah'll just be a minute." Without another thought, she quickly, but casually ran up the stairs to her room.
Remy and Kurt shared a glance. "Should we t'ink twice about dat?"
Kurt thought for a moment. "Probably not. There's nothing wrong with wanting a minute to be alone."
"Y' got a point. I still wan' follow her dough."
"Me, too. It'd be better if we respected her space right now though."
Remy sighed. "Let's go tell Xavier we found her in case Hank hasn't spread de news yet."
"Actually, do you mind if I wait here for Rogue? I'm starting to feel tired from walking up here and I want to take a quick break."
"Sure," Remy said, concern lacing his voice. "Y' sure y' okay?"
Kurt smiled. "Yeah, just need a second."
Remy nodded and began walking in the direction of the dining room again. He ran into Piotr on his way back. Not literally, thankfully, or Remy would've become a mark on the floor.
The two exchanged quick greetings before Piotr anxiously asked, "Did you find her?" His usually clear blue eyes were cloudy with concern.
"Oui, she ran upstairs t' her room real quick. Kurt's waitin' f' her at de bottom of de steps."
"Are they both okay?" The same concern darkened in his eyes once again.
"Dey're both alright. Rogue's a li'l shaken up, an' Kurt's a li'l wasted but he's movin' around."
"That is wonderful to hear." He smiled warmly and his eyes became clear again. "I need to find Paige and Jubilee to tell them the good news."
"Do y' know where de Prof is? I'd like t' let him know dat t'ings are okay if he didn' know already an' t' call off de search team."
Piotr thought about it. "I saw him last in the foyer, directing Logan and a couple others to check outside. I imagine he may have gone to his study to attempt locating her telepathically again but away from the noise."
Remy nodded, thankful for the tip. "I'll go get him if he's still dere. If I see eit'er of de femmes on de way, I'll give 'em de heads up an' tell 'em y' lookin' for dem as well." He waved goodbye to Piotr, who turned back to the dining room, while Remy began down the hall to Xavier's study.
----
Rogue made it to her room and dug into her glove drawer for a new pair of short black cotton gloves. She had several pairs of that kind, so locating the desired type wasn't difficult. She tugged the gloves on and was ready to leave her room. She stopped short of the door in front of the mirror. Quickly, she scrutinized her appearance. Everything needed as if it were 'normal' – there were no blue marks on her skin, nor random dark blotches in her hair. However, she was still surprised every time she saw the extra white forelocks in her reflection. She looked so much… older. The hair represented a woman of sixty, unlike the fifteen-year-old face hiding behind the seemingly bleached strands.
Then again, she didn't feel fifteen anymore. Had she ever felt fifteen? Some days she felt like she'd jumped from five to about eighteen or twenty – but how could she place an exact number on her age?
Sighing, she turned away from the mirror and out of her room in the direction of the staircase. "Kurt?" She called when she saw her brother sitting on the steps. He turned and smiled, his fangs showing. "Ah thought ya would've gone an' gotten somethin' ta eat."
"I was feeling tired so I decided to wait around for you."
She quickened her pace down the steps until she was by his side. "Are ya okay?"
"I'm fine. Just a bit worn out, but it's nothing unexpectedly, ya know."
Rogue appeared slightly appeased. "If you say ya're all raht…"
"I wouldn't lie to you, Rogue. You know that."
A smile found its way to her face. A small smile, but it practically made Kurt beam with joy with how much a simple expression brightened up her entire face. It wasn't long before the smile tickled her eyes and made the emeralds dance in her irises once again.
"Are you ready now?"
She nodded and extended her newly covered hand. "Let's go."
----
Remy rapped gently on the door to Xavier's study. "Come in please, Remy," he heard from inside. Remy ignored the fact of how the professor had known it was him. He'd been doing it to everyone for as long as Remy had lived there and even before. He'd heard stories, oh yes.
He pushed the massive door open and stepped inside, leaving the door slightly ajar. "Did y' hear 'bout Rogue?" he asked as soon as he stood in front of Xavier.
"Hank informed me as you entered the med lab with her. I was keeping a mental tab on both him and Kurt since I couldn't find Rogue herself."
"Oh. So y' know everyt'in's okay?"
Xavier smiled, but it wasn't happy. "Things are far from okay, Remy."
He sighed. "I know. I jus' wish it was an' t'ings could go back t' whatever's considered normal around here." Remy began to notice then how weary the professor appeared. He realized he barely recognized him from the man he met some four years prior. But then again, he rarely actually met with Xavier for any sort of one-on-one discussions. Most of it was because of Remy's distrust of psychics, but Remy had always felt another sort of intimidation from Xavier too. He just always seemed like a guy that was at a much higher level than everyone else at the institute that made him unapproachable in Remy's eyes. Looking at him then though made Remy realize he was just like everyone else. Usually his empathy helped him realize that with other people quicker, but the avoided contact with Xavier put that conclusion off.
"Are you all right, Remy?"
"Hmm… what?"
Xavier smiled again, this time it was warm and full of unconditional patience. "I've asked you several times how Rogue seems to be."
"Oh. She's… strange." Remy glanced to the door, noting how it was slightly opened. "Dere's somet'in' strange dis time around."
"Due to the mutation?"
Remy nodded gravely. "She asked dat I not share what's happenin' wit' her, dough."
Xavier leaned forward and placed his elbows on his desk. He steepled his hands together and rested his nose behind them. "I see. Out of all my students in the past, the two of you seem to be the least trusting, and I hope you understand that I mean that in the nicest way possible."
"I do." Remy began to feel miniscule guilt at being figured out, but then he realized that his and Rogue's outlooks on spooks and just all around trusting were widely known. Remy really only trusted Rogue with everything, while Rogue opened up to basically him, Kurt, Jean to an extent, but most of all, her journal. Xavier wasn't the type of man who didn't ignore little facts like this. Maybe it hurt him to admit it to Remy after so long. "It's just in our nature, I guess," Remy added, shrugging nonchalantly.
"I've noticed that as well. I'm half inclined to ask you to just trust more, but that request would be absurd."
Remy smirked despite himself. "Dis is very true."
"Why do you feel the need to keep to yourself and Rogue though?" The question was sincere. Xavier was truly curious of why Remy found it difficult to open up with others. He knew of Remy's back story about the orphanage and past relationships with his peers. Xavier found himself a failure when it came to Remy though. He did not believe in not getting to know his students. Every student that came through the school was like a son or daughter to Xavier. His goal was to make all relationships between he and his students as equal as he could. Granted, he was pretty sure he would never have Remy and Rogue on the same level as Scott, Jean or Ororo (as he didn't with most of his students), but he was determined to have the young Southerners on some level unlike the barely familiar one they were on now.
"I don't know," Remy answered after a moment. He was silent after that. He thought about it for a second. "Sometimes it jus' seems easier t' just not let anyone in," Remy said softly. "Trustin' Rogue an' only Rogue is jus' comfortin' t' me."
"She loves you unconditionally, you know."
Remy looked up and smiled, the red in his eyes dancing. "I do. She tol' me."
Xavier smiled as well. "By the looks of it, you feel the same way."
"I t'ink I do…" he once again glanced to the door. "Can I ask y' about somet'in'?"
The same smile remained on Xavier's face, though he was inwardly grinning with delight. Is Remy voluntarily opening up?
Remy knew he was giving Xavier what he wanted, but this was a good chance to get some answers on the whole "loving Rogue" thing. He got up and suddenly felt Xavier's anxiety, but then it calmed when Remy shut the door and instead of remaining standing, he opted for the chair in front of Xavier's desk. "Okay, if I tell y' dis, y' promise not t' tell a soul?"
"Of course, Remy. You're taking a huge step here and I wouldn't insult your courage like that." The words themselves almost seemed insulting, but Remy could tell Xavier was being calm and sincere.
Remy adjusted himself in the chair so he was more comfortable and tried to decide how he was going to ask about his feelings for Rogue. "Sir, do y' have any sort of empathy?"
"I think I have it slightly due to my telepathy, but not to the extent that Jean does. Why do you ask?"
"I've had it for awhile… least I t'ink I do."
Xavier didn't look overly surprised, even though Remy had kept that additional power of his a secret from a lot of people for the most part. "I always felt a different psychic aura from you. There's just something about how mutants with psychic abilities can seek out fellow psychics."
"I ain' a spook," Remy hastily reminded him.
Xavier smiled patiently again. "I didn't say that Remy. I've just sensed it on you from day one but couldn't pinpoint it. Empathy is most definitely on a mental level, but it in no way makes you a telepath. It's just usually an additional power that psychics tend to have instead of a mutant with your sort of abilities."
Remy was about to mutter "good" but decided against it. Instead, he decided to continue on the question at hand. "I t'ink I've had it f' awhile. An' in de beginnin', being around Rogue brought me my happiness, because she was happy. After awhile, I gained my own, but knowin' she was happy jus' boosted me even more. Sometimes it wasn' just de empathy helpin' out though. Havin' her dere was enough because I knew she would care 'bout me forever. An' the same with me f' her… Am I makin' any sense?"
Xavier nodded. "Please, go on."
Remy sighed. "Den everyone started tellin' me dat I was in love wit' her. Suddenly too. I'm not sure if people have been hintin' on it all dis time an' I've jus' picked up on it, but after listenin' t' so many people tell me, it didn' seem like dat crazy an idea. Den after she was gone… I hate t' say dis, but it was like I took f' granted what she meant t' me. She was always dere. Even when I did dat shit wit' Sarah." Remy expected a reaction from the professor due to his language, but he showed no exterior one. He probably didn't even recognize it since he was used to hearing every word in the book from Logan. So Remy continued. "When I felt like I was gon' lose her… I didn' know what t' do. An' dere she was on top of me, holdin' me tight an' makin' sure I was okay, even dough she was a mess herself." He paused for a moment.
When he didn't start again, Xavier inquired, "What's wrong?"
"I remember lookin' at her den, an' realizin' she wasn' fifteen. I mean, of course she's fifteen, but I looked at her, straight in de eyes an' saw dat it didn' matter. De shit dat people had been pummelin' in t' m'head didn' matter. What I saw was Rogue."
Xavier smiled. "I think you just answered your own question."
"Did I?"
"You were questioning your feelings about her."
"I know dat, but how did I answer it?"
"You've probably had all these thoughts swimming around in your head for the last week." Remy was about to get angry for Xavier flat out predicting his dilemma, but then how could Xavier not? It wasn't as if Remy was the only person in the history of humans and mutants alike to figure out the meaning of love. "I think once you had the chance to actually verbalize it into real statements without pausing like you did answers your question."
Remy shrugged. He had a point. "De t'ing wit' Rogue is… it's not as if I wan' have sex wit' her. I could hold her, but she's still got dis innocence 'bout her dat I couldn' ruin."
"That's your mind unconsciously thinking about her age."
"Is dat wrong?"
Xavier shook his heard vehemently. "Of course not. You're right. Rogue is still fifteen, no matter how the rest of us may see her. She's grown and is still growing into a young woman, even if her mind is years past her time."
"So… it's okay t' feel de way I do 'bout her?"
"It's only natural, Remy. I know you're not particularly fond of the comparison, but how do you think Jean and Scott fell in love?"
Remy thought about it and remembered Rogue had told him the story of the two senior students-turned-teachers.
His mind flashed back to a moment from no more than two months before. They were sitting on her bed, eating chips and salsa and enjoying a movie. Rogue didn't seem to be as into it as Remy figured she would have been, considering it was one of her favorites. "What's wrong?" He asked her.
She looked at him, looking startled as if she wasn't expecting him to speak to her. Once their eyes connected, she blushed and giggled. "Was Ah spacin' out that much?"
"Y' were. What's up?"
"Jus' thinkin' of mah session with Jean from earlier this week." She picked up the remote and paused the movie so she could turn and face Remy. "Did ya know her marriage with Scott is somethin' outta a fairytale almost?"
Remy smirked. "Not'in's dat perfect, chere."
"But they are, Remy! She told me way, way back on our second day here about how they met an' how they fell in love an' everything. An' it's like Ah pick up a new piece about it every time Ah have one of these sessions with her." She sighed dreamily. "It's so great."
"How did dey fall in love?" He wasn't too interested, considering Scott was one of those wonderful people who liked to get on his case about everything, but he figured he would keep the conversation going since Rogue was so enthralled by it.
Another blush settled on Rogue's cheeks. "They were best friends for the longest time an' then something just clicked between them, she told me. It was like they were made foh each other an' they were lucky enough t' meet here."
Remy smiled despite the content matter. "Oui, dat is nice." Then he frowned. "What has it on y' mind so much?"
Rogue's smile dropped. "Ah think it's just sweet. The movie musta brought it up in mah mind."
"… Chere, we're watchin' Last Action Hero. Dere's no conceivable romance in dis movie 'cept f' Arnold hittin' on Danny's mom."
She smiled. "It's jus' on mah mind. Ah don't know why. Maybe mah powers are playin' funny tricks on me an' makin' me think of it." Remy could see right through her fib, but decided to let it go at that.
"Y' want some more lemonade b'fore y' start de movie up again?" He asked before any awkward silence could settle between them.
Rogue nodded. "You bet." She handed him his glass and watched him leave the room, sighing sadly as the door shut behind him.
As the memory faded, he mimicked the sigh unconsciously. "Yeah… I'm a fool."
"What was that?" Xavier asked, as Remy had muttered his comment under his breath.
"I said I'm a fool. I didn' see it comin' at all."
"You can't be hard on yourself because of something like this. Feelings like the ones you are experiencing are not presented the same for each and every person, Remy. The confusion is the only reoccurring part of love."
"It's not fair t' her dough. She was tryin' t' hint it t' me de whole time. She probably didn' realize what she was doin' since she's as shy as can be, but she did."
"Are you sure she feels the same romantic love that you do?"
Remy gave him a strange look. "It doesn't seem right when y' put it dat way."
"Think of it this way with my train of thought, I'm going back to my university days. Would you say that you trust Rogue's good judgment?"
Remy blinked at the professor. "Of course I would."
"Good. Now, would you be miserable if you couldn't be with her?"
"Be wit' her how?"
"Just answer the question to the best of your ability, Remy," Xavier said patiently.
Remy tossed the question over once in his head. That was all it took. "Mais. oui." Out of everyone else he had met, he couldn't most definitely live without Rogue. Of course, he would be sad if he didn't have some people in his life, like Ororo and Kurt as well as they had become very close when it came to their mutual bond with Rogue. But if Rogue wasn't there… he would be so lost. It wasn't even that he trusted only her. It went beyond that. She was there to make him smile with the smallest laugh or giggle. He loved watching her eyes dance when she had some juicy institute gossip to tell him. Even though she was a hermit for the better part of four years, she still had so much life in her and proved it through every movement she made, and every word she spoke. She probably wouldn't agree with him if he told her, but she'd grown so much from the little vulnerable girl she was. Yes, she was afraid of her own shadow at most times, but she would be able to take charge in any danger room session. The way she would glide between people with ease and touch a cheek here, tap an exposed arm there. And then with uncanny control, she'd be able to use whoever's power she wanted, whether it was from absorbing in that single session, or from her own supply of powers in her head.
Not everyone could deal with what she dealt with day by day, between her childhood and her unique powers. But she did without complaint. She didn't want to talk about her past, so she didn't bring it up. If she had a headache because of her powers, she'd ask Hank for some medication and that'd be the end of it. She had unknowingly and unselfishly become one of the strongest people Remy had ever had the honor of knowing. And that's what it came down to. He admired her for it. He loved her for it.
"What are you thinking about, Remy?"
Remy looked up at the sound of his name, his red eyes focusing on Xavier. "Of how much I wan' tell her dat I figured it out."
Little worried lines appeared across Xavier's forehead. "While I do agree that this is important to share with her… do you think it's a good time?"
Remy sighed. "She did say she didn' wan' talk about what was said."
"What was said?"
"We told each ot'er dat we loved each ot'er… but until now I t'ought we did it in the heat of de moment… like we weren' gon' see each ot'er de next day or any day after dat."
"She's probably just as confused as you."
"I know."
"And with her mother's death-"
"She jus' wants t' deal wit' one t'ing at a time."
"I see this was discussed already?"
Remy nodded. "But now dat I've got it sorted in m'head, I wan' tell her."
"I know, Remy. And while this is a very important thing to share, you have to consider her best interests. If she wants to take the time to deal with her mother's death and her relationship with Kurt, which we cannot forget might I add, then I believe we should let her. The best thing you can do for her is to be there, because it's apparent with all of us how much she cares for you. Instead of telling her what you've discovered for yourself, show her. That will mean the most to her in her time of grieving."
Remy nodded again, his eyes faraway as he thought over what Xavier was telling him. "Dat makes sense." He made eye contact with the professor and smirked. "Merci, sir. Dis really helped." Remy stood up from the chair to motion he was leaving.
Xavier smiled as bright as he could without coming off as creepy. Remy noted that it brought years back to his age when he did that, and he also realized he didn't know exactly how old Xavier was, but oh well. None of it mattered.
He extended his hand across the table to Xavier, who graciously accepted it. "T'ank y' again."
"Please, don't mention it. It's what I'm here for. Thank you for trusting me."
Remy smirked. "Don' mention it." He let go of Xavier's hand and walked out of the room, the smirk still on his face. All he had to do was show Rogue how much he cared. And what better time to start then the present?
To be continued…