Disclaimer: After so many chapters if you still don't get what I want to say about this, I'll kill you in the middle of the night when you're sleeping. So, beware of me.

Gravity

Chapter six: Shuichi's Last Hope

Shuichi held his breath like he never did it before. Yuki was there, but not looking at the boy. The blonde lay on the couch and continued to drink his can of beer when Shuichi gazed at him.

"Yuki san, I'm leaving." Shuichi murmured. He couldn't say anything more. He was leaving; leaving Japan, leaving Yuki. He held onto his luggage tightly and bowed to the blonde. "Thank you."

The cold blonde merely nodded and sent the boy out.

"Good bye, Shuichi."

(Shuichi's POV)

I stepped out of the apartment, my heart filled with anguish and guilt. I may not be able to see this man for another three years. Will I miss him? I don't know, I just don't know. What if he blames me for everything I've done to him? What if he hates me for it?

Although he stood at the door looking at me as if the departure was nothing, I could see that his eyes were downcast and there was a lump in my throat. I felt like crying so much but I calmly turned away with my back facing him. I walked towards the lift and press the button. We never had eye contact. Not until when I stepped into the elevator, he gazed into each other's eyes for merely that 2.43 seconds until the elevator's doors closed up and I left the building.

…

The bus was moving fast, how much did I wish that it could just slow down. My eyes made its way out of the window and scanned the scenes that passed by. What am I hoping for? My heart shook with fear yet excitement, warm salty tears flowed down my face uncontrollably as I bawled. Ryu spotted my despair and allowed me to lie on his shoulders. It felt warm but is it what I want?

Hiro and the other guys soon noticed me crying. All because of me, the rowdy bus quieted down to suit me emotions, only my whining was heard but no one did anything to stop me.

Yuki. What is he doing now? Is he safe? Does he have enough food to eat? Can he take care of himself? Questions and more questions without any proper answer.

My pondering sent myself to sleep. Although I felt so unsecured, I fell deep into dreamland. My body couldn't hold any longer. Days without proper sleep turned me into a piece of rag.

"Yuki…" a name was called out. Who is calling out for him? A vague image appeared before my eyes. Who is it? The figure slowly formed itself; lines, shadow, and then a familiar smile appeared. It was the one beautiful face I lavished upon. What was his name again? Ah…yes. Yuki Eiri isn't it? That was the name of the person my heart was scar with. I recalled his love for me when he brought me out for a date for the first time. I was so happy then, I was the happiest person on Earth. The two of us never lose sight of each other, guarding our love. Then Yuki told me about his past, all about Kitazawa Yuki.

He killed him.

I accepted his confession. I never blamed him for it. In fact I was glad for his honesty with me. In fact I was delighted, although I was stunned for a moment, I felt happy. Then I turned around for a moment. When I turned back, a sudden snowstorm covered the view and then he was gone.

"YUKI."

But, I love Ryu. Ryu loves me. Yuki will have to go. I don't love Yuki now. He's in the buried past. I can never know about it anymore. This is fate, destiny. His Shuichi is gone; he's not going to return. I'm not him. I'm not like him.

"NO! I'm still Shuichi you'll see. I am Shindo Shuichi!"

You betrayed me, Shindo.

"I did not!"

It doesn't matter anymore, Shuichi.

"It does!"

Your betrayal may be able to help me to move on without you.

"YUKI!"

Maybe I'll find a new koi with blonde hair like me and start a family or something…

"Please Yuki, don't leave me. I need you! We were married remember? There's no way I'll file a divorce…please let me love you again…"

I reached my hands out…

"YUKI!"

Another image appeared, this time the image was different. Did it ever happen in my life before? I can't remember.

Touma and Mika were there with Hiro, Noriko, Ryuichi and Suguru. And Yuki was frowning. Why?

" Eiri san, daijoubu deska?"

Eiri turned around to look at Touma. Then clinged onto Touma and cried.

" Iie…Iie…I can't live without Shuichi…a few moments ago he…he…"

Yuki could not finish his sentence. Touma looked at him, he never looked so vulnerable before; Yuki was shivering, then a doctor came into the scene.

" Shindo san is okay already, he just woke up. You can go in to see him now but he's…"

Yuki couldn't wait for the doctor to finish his sentence. He rushed into the ward in lightning speed. Who was he going to meet?

There I saw me. Sitting up on the bed and looking outside the window.

"Who am I?"

Then, I saw Yuki rush to my side. He looked worried, very worried. What happened to me?

" Shuichi are you all right, what the damn fucker you made me worried so much!"

Then I spoke something that seemed to crush his heart.

" Anata dare? "

Yuki was too shocked to react or to say anything. He couldn't say anything.

" What the? "

"Anata dare? "

" What are you talking about, you baka."

I stared at the scene. Is that what I saw…the truth. I hurt Yuki.

My eyes shot opened. Only finding it to be filled with overflowing tears. Ryu stared at me and sighed. I could see that he had been crying too while I was asleep.

"Go shu chan."

I stared at him in disbelief.

"Return to Yuki, be by his side. You don't belong to me. I stole you from him."

What I saw was too strong, too great for me to handle. I pulled him into a kiss and embraced him.

"I'm so sorry."

I stood up and darted out the bus by the window and into the busy night traffic. Even K's magnum took no effect on me. All I knew I had to see someone really important before I actually lose him again.

The silver moonlight shone onto my mind, flashing all the memories that matter a lot to me. This would be me final chance to see him again for I knew he would die if I leave him.

"YUKI!"

(Yuki's POV)

Shuichi should have left the country by now, on the plane and going away. Should I have stopped him? That 2.43 seconds of love was not enough.

My watch reads 11.47 pm, it's almost midnight and I'm all alone. I stared at myself into the mirror, what I saw was a pale looking face with a piercing golden eyes that seemed to penetrate into my heart. Maybe that's why the old Shuichi fell in love with me, I looked so beautiful like an artifact from a museum; beautiful and forgotten.

Yuki will have to go. I don't love Yuki now. He's in the buried past. I can never know about it anymore. This is fate, destiny. His Shuichi is gone; he's not going to return. I'm not him. I'm not like him.

I buried my face into the towel.

"Shuichi…are you really gone?"

Dear diary,

I lost my first kiss today…to Yuki Eiri (he's the one who pissed me off). I found out his name when Hiro told me…he's a novelist of the most popular love stories. Hiro somehow convinced me that I had fallen in love with a guy. But truly I was as what Yuki said I was really happy when he hugged me in front of that woman. Anyway I never intended that kiss. I was supposed to set down a challenge against him. And somehow leaving the scene to find me trapped in a corner of the lift with his lips on mine.

This also resulted in me falling in love with this really cool guy…

I MUST BE OUT OF MY MIND!

But honestly I do like him…

"Really?"

Your betrayal may be able to help me to move on without you.

"That'll never happen."

Maybe I'll find a new koi with blonde hair like me and start a family or something…

"Another blonde huh. Would the other love be like you, Shuichi?"

I don't know if Yuki loves me anymore. He never told me that he loves me…

"I love you, Shuichi."

I threw the damn mirror on the floor and stepped out of the room and to the balcony. The city was quite cold in the winter night. It was uncomfortably quiet without that brat, then I began to sing for the first time and the last time in my life…just for him…

I'm sorry that I've lost hope in all

To be lost in your love

Blindly falling into the traps of life

I couldn't see me in me

With my lost soul

Wandering in space

I do love you I guess

But it's not the one you see before you does

I'm not what you see to be

I'm not to be found by you

Nor if I could find it myself

I see that you're crying

But I can't do anything

I'm not the one before

I'm sorry but I'm gone

Please let me off

Not that you can't bring me back

It's that I've given up myself to fate

I love you

I love you not

I don't know cause I'm lost

I'm sorry that I've lost hope in all

To be lost in your life

Calling out to nothing really hurt

You absolutely do not know how I feel

With my lost soul

Wandering in nothingness

I see that you're in pain

But I can't do anything

I'm not the one before

I'm sorry but I'm gone

Please let me off

Cause' you really can't bring me back

It's that I've given up myself to fate

I love you

I love you not

I don't know cause I'm lost

I'm not to be seen

I'm already gone

The old me have really died

Find me in hell or heaven

Find me there…

"That was your song, isn't it?"

I continued singing this one verse on and on hoping that the boy would somehow hear it.

I'm not to be seen

I'm already gone

The old me have really died

Find me in hell or heaven

Find me there…

"Would you ever forgive me?"

I stepped onto the cold dead railings that bounded me from the space outside. I will be gone in seconds before the world will cheer 'Happy New Year' without me.

"I love you, Shuichi…"

End

The story's gonna end soon…

What will happen to Yuki and Shuichi?

Did Shuichi's memories returned too late?

Will they ever meet again?

You know what? I've not typed it out yet…

Muahahahaha…

It all depends on you readers if the story will end or not,

And how it will end…

It all depends on you…

I need reviews…write how you feel about the whole story

And how you think it will end. Write anything you

Want as long as it has to do with the story…

Write your feelings and thoughts of everything.

Be prepared that I already had in

Mind two endings for the story.

So, let me see how you readers would end it

Or I'll never end it…Muahahahaha…

(Anyway, Eddie chan. For your Info please

Check up on the dictionary for the word 'rape'.

It means having sex with an unwilling party

Without his or her permission,

Which the unwilling party would be Shuichi.)