Chapter 2: Send Help, Freshmen
First day of classes, which also means club recruitment, and meeting a bunch of freshmen ready to cause havoc.
The first thing people ask Levi when they see him the next day is, "Why are you limping?"
He merely rolls his eyes and tries to avoid the question, but when they pressure him more out of concern, he tells them he slipped off the stairs after mopping it. But nobody's really buying it.
"What, you fell because of your cleaning habits?"
"Yeah, like a fucking idiot, Mike," he sips his breakfast tea. Tubthumping is playing loudly inside the master's bedroom while Nanaba is doing her morning yoga. Chumbawamba is a religion on its own.
Levi's blond friend chuckles, "Ironic."
That's the version if Hange's not there. The story all changes when she's around. Beaming, she would flail with her hands and say, "That's not true, Levi saved me and my dead tarantula!"
"Why the hell would Mr. Clean Freak save a dead tarantula? He'd rather bury it in the garden."
She then tells the full story with her theatrical gestures and they all burst out laughing. Hange's one of those people who cannot lie, and the more the truth gets out, the more he feels stupid.
"Should have never helped her in the first place," he grumbles, staggering away. Or, he should have just let her fall—clothes, luggage, dead spider, and all.
The start of a new school year is always interesting. It's the first day of classes, filled with pesky freshmen bumbling along the corridors, lost and too full of energy. They walk around like herds of cattle and block the paths of the upperclassmen who are running late. Then they hog all the cafeteria tables with their oversized bags and start simping for the good-looking students on campus. That's exactly the reason why Levi wants to skip it. But it's also the day when clubs start recruiting members for the school year, and that's what drives him to actually show up. There are posters everywhere of the different clubs and the perks of joining them. Even Darius Zackley, the principal of their university, is motivating them to at least participate in one.
"It's part of college life," he announces through their public address system. "I assure you, you won't regret it."
"Four years in, and I'm starting to regret being in a club," Levi mutters as he walks to the room of his last ever first class as a senior. Imagine not being paid for all the work that he's done. Not to mention the countless times he has to pay for stuff months in advance before being reimbursed. Clubs are just a way of exploiting free labor from students.
Zackley then gives a long speech about his days as an undergraduate ("Back in my time…" is their cue) and then everyone starts dozing off. It's worse than him speaking about the three female founders and the school's mission-vision.
The freshmen are exhilarated, though. They're fresh out of their naivete, or from whatever high school they came from. The moment they see a group of upperclassmen distributing posters for their club recruitment, dancing like crazy as part of their promotion, they end up flocking together to sign up. While he's walking along the corridors, Levi even overhears them joining five clubs at the same time. "Tch, pathetic," he tells himself. No stupid person would participate in no more than two clubs. It's a death sentence.
However, one thing Levi really, really doesn't understand is why people keep on putting on a fashion statement on the first day. Expensive sneakers and labeled polos? Imported leather bags and fancy shades? Fur coats and high heels? What is this, a runway? He almost wants to hit someone in the head when he sees a student wearing a pair of pajamas—Versace brand.
"Levi! Fancying that sleepwear?"
He stops and turns his head around to see a girl walking towards him. "Ah, it's just you."
Petra Rall is a junior, also from the Engineering department like him. There are three others in her year, namely Oluo (who imitates him for reasons unknown), Eld (who acts as his secretary), and Gunther (who's efficient with everything as always, including cleanup time)—varsity players for their university sports team and hence, elites. After Levi created an automatic floor sweeper for his class project last year, they started looking up to him like he's a saint.
"Are you joining a new club this year?" Petra asks with a smile. She's wearing her cheerleading outfit, having hyped up the entire student body with an introductory cheer rally for the school year just a while ago. There's a rumor that her laughter can brighten up anyone's day but Levi has already debunked that for them.
"You're kidding, right?" He snorts. "I'm already neck-deep in work for our club. I don't even know how we're recruiting this time around."
Getting new members to join is always the toughest part. Both he and Petra know that. The last time they did recruit, they had Mike show up in a Casper costume, handing out leaflets about their club to people walking around the campus. The Friendly Ghost did not like it when he could smell himself inside his sweaty attire all day. Mike had to shower the moment he got back to his apartment because everyone wanted to hug and take photos with him.
"Maybe we should try handing out freebies or something. That's how other clubs attract members," Petra suggests with a hopeful look on her face. Perhaps they could partner up with stores and establishments for privilege discounts and all. That could work.
"Freebies?" He hisses. "We don't even have funds for that."
Petra is determined. "We'll have projects."
"Which we can't also start on, because we do not have new members yet." A knot forms on his forehead.
"Well then, what do you suppose—"
"Uhm, excuse me," someone taps Levi's shoulder.
"What?" he spats. He checks if he's blocking the corridor, but there's enough space for five people to pass through at the same time.
Which means that somebody has the nerve to talk to him.
A boy with bright green eyes is staring at them. A freshman, based on the color of his ID. There's a group of wide-eyed students right behind him, too. He then continues, "I can't help but overhear, but which club are you guys from?"
"None of your business," Levi starts to turn away, but Petra stops him.
"We're from a special club called the Survey Scouts," she explains and the freshmen's eyes widen all the more in surprise.
"Survey Scouts, what's that?" The boy scratches his head. "Is that a frat or something?"
"No, frats are cults with booze and money, stupid," says the short guy who has neither booze and money, but has a mean temper of a boiling teapot. Their university doesn't allow fraternities and sororities, anyway. Levi crosses his arms and puts on his bored face.
As much as she wants to laugh, Petra shoots him another disapproving look. "We're a member-funded club that tries to explore supernatural myths and urban legends around the school." It's the description that she had written for their promotional pamphlet last year.
"Oh, like Ghostbusters? I've watched the movies!" A freshman with blond hair and blue eyes catches interest. Levi isn't sure if it's boy or a girl, and frankly, he doesn't care.
There's a girl behind them who butts in. "Or you mean… like a third eye?" Aside from the odd fashion statement of a red scarf around her neck, she has a deadpan face and has the demeanor of an assassin. Levi immediately recognizes her as Mikasa, his third cousin once or twice removed from his mother's side. They've never really spoken to each other before, and frankly, he hopes they never have to. Mikasa continues, "Are you guys paranormal or something?"
"Something like that. We're giving out iced coffees if you attend our first meeting," Petra winks at the freshmen.
'Iced coffees? The fuck?' Levi mouths an inaudible whisper to her as she nudges him on the chest with her elbow. He is going to throw a fit if his club plunges into deep debt during the first month of the school year. But he doesn't notice that the freshmen's eyes are already beaming in anticipation.
"Oooh, free coffee? We'd love to go!" They all seem eager, giddy, excited at the prospect of the freebie. Anything for free is a good sign.
Levi attempts to say something, but Petra grips his arm and gives him one final look with a smug smile, mouthing the words 'I told you so.' He finally shuts the hell up.
"You promised me lunch, Four-Eyes." He plants his hands firmly on the cafeteria table and looks at Hange with disdain.
"But I don't have enough money right now," she pulls a face at him. It's only the first day and Hange is already buried deep in textbooks and lab reports. She's smart when she wants to be, but often laziness gets in her way.
"Tch. It figures." He rolls his eyes. It's a good thing he bought some fruit this morning on his way to school. "You still owe me one, though."
She looks up and drops her pen. Her handwriting is a disaster. "Look, I'm thankful you saved me and Tara—"
"Who the fuck's Tara?"
"My dead tarantula." Hange gives him an estranged look. "However, the economy is going down the drain, and destitution is almost like a crime in these trying times."
"Nice of you to care for the current state of our nation." He rubs his temples. Mike and Nanaba have classes right now so he's stuck with Hange and her ramblings for their hour-long break.
"I don't do politics. It's the epitome of evil. Also, I do not have enough brain cells for that," Hange tells him. "But speaking of which, they say there's an interesting bunch of students running for the student council this year. We'd better go watch."
"I am not hearing another spur of lies, Hange." Which is pretty much all he's ever heard from the student council nominees.
She cracks open a textbook and starts working on her lab report. "Suit yourself, Levi."
The student council is pretty much a bunch of self-serving assholes who try to establish their power and influence over the student community. At least, that's what it seems to Levi. He tries to stand on tiptoes but there isn't much he can do with his 5'2" stature. It's a hopeless case craning his neck from the back just to see the stage. Hange is doing a better job with her height, but the last thing he would want is to have her hoist him up like a lion cub into the crowd.
"You might wanna hold on to this." Petra appears out of nowhere, and hands Levi a thick roll of cartolina. "It's for our meeting agenda with the new members," she explains to his questioning look.
"Sweet, we're wasting paper."
His words are drowned by applause from the students and Rico Brzenska from the Community Clean-up Crew comes up to the podium to give out her short speech. Her words are straightforward and honest, even a little bit too honest when she claims that she'll have everyone sweep the entire school building if she wins. Levi might end up voting for her because he's also a member of her club. Clean-freaks will surely rule the world.
When she's done, a girl named Historia Reiss makes a passionate speech about community-building and perseverance, and after her comes another guy called Jean Kirchstein who tries to win people over through his leadership credentials. They're not that bad this year, Levi thinks. They just don't have that 'oomph' he's been looking for.
He spoke too late when a familiar face climbed up on the podium.
The boy who tapped his shoulder awhile ago happens to be Eren Yeager, also running for the student council. Eren looks at the crowd, and in one swift motion, jumps off the stage in the most dramatic manner. He lands on his feet and combs his hair with one hand in a sweeping motion.
"The fuck is he doing?" Levi asks the two girls beside him who are currently in awe. "This isn't theater." He watches as Eren remains standing in front of the whole student community in silence.
"What do you know about making a statement?" Hange challenges him.
Levi can only grit his teeth.
There are 'oohs' and 'aahs' when Eren bravely makes his way to the middle. There's also some booing and jeering from some students. The other candidate named Jean is shouting something along the lines of 'suicidal maniac.' The boy then takes a deep breath, and yells from the top of his lungs: "Everyone, just shut up and vote for me!"
Principal Zackley, as well as the other professors, Erwin, Pixis, and Nile included, are in shock. One of them mutters, "Oh no, he didn't…"
In a flash, Levi quickly divides the crowd, running up to where Eren is. And in one swift motion, he hits the boy with the thick roll of cartolina right on the head with a Whack!
The crunching sound of paper echoes throughout the entire hall, followed by silence.
"That's not how you're supposed to ask people to vote for you, idiot." Levi has no idea what got into him.
Eren stands flabbergasted at the suddenness of the senior's action. "B-but I j-just want to…"
Another Whack! "No talking back," Levi reprimands him.
"B-but!"
Whack! "No buts."
"Okay, well—" Eren stammers as Levi kicks him in the ass. The freshman gathers his remaining dignity to speak again. "J-just vote wisely!"
Those are the most inspiring words he thinks they'll ever get from him. But at least he knows now that a roll of cartolina could sting so much.
The boy finally zips his mouth, full of awe and fear at the same time for the senior who just whacked him repeatedly. The rest of the crowd just leave their mouths open as Levi exits the convention hall, his roll of cartolina still on hand.
He's already late for class.
"No shit. You did it, boss!" Gunther remarks the moment Levi comes out of the classroom.
"Did what? He just made a statement." Hange appears behind them. They just got out of their final classes for the day.
"We've got people applying to our club," Gunther announces. Oluo and Eld nod in agreement. They're sitting by the benches along the corridors right by the classrooms.
"Haaa?"
It's been three hours since he kicked that freshman in the butt. The onlookers thought it was a very well-rehearsed skit, albeit nobody would believe it was all impromptu. Because of Levi's stunt at the student council pitch, a huge group of freshmen is now looking to join his club upon Eren's insistence. That guy just pulls people with him wherever he goes. Maybe he can start a cult.
"Well, first off, we need to buy some supplies," Eld tells him. "Iced coffees, for one."
"That's easy," Levi rolls his eyes. It seems that Petra has already made the freebies final for them. "Hange can take care of that."
"Me? Why me?"
"Because you have a car, and more importantly, you're the leader."
"Right, sometimes I forget Erwin appointed me for that. It just freaks me out," Hange complains. She then rubs her fingers together in front of Levi. "Got some ka-ching ka-ching so I can buy the stuff?"
He takes out his wallet begrudgingly and slaps a hundred-dollar bill into her hand. There goes his allowance for the week. "You better ask for receipts."
"You bet." She winks, giving him a one-hand finger gun, and walks away.
Levi then turns to the juniors. "Okay, so where are we meeting?"
They look at each other, not wanting to break the news. Eld finally kicks Oluo under the shin. The poor boy eyes Levi and mumbles, "At your place." The creases form on the sides of Oluo's mouth as the colors drain from Levi's face.
Unlike the self-important groups that are fully-accredited by the university, they don't get priorities when it comes to reserving classrooms for meetings. It's one of the downsides of being a member-funded club. However, they can plan unlimited parties and gimmicks for as long as they have enough finances to back those up. That single pro always outweighs the rest of the cons.
Levi didn't expect that there's enough space to fit at least 30 people in the common room of their apartment. That is, if he accounts for the windowsills and the staircase as seats.
Before Erwin graduated, he used to be the leader of the Survey Scouts. He then passed on the responsibility to Hange, with Levi and Mike supporting her.
"Are you sure they're coming?"
"Free stuff gets people, Levi," Petra huffs, unfolding the last chair they borrowed from several amenities stores. "That, and making a statement."
After a few more minutes, the students start trickling in like ants who found a piece of candy on the ground. They target the seats at the back, just in case they need to make a quick getaway. When Eren arrives, there's about a dozen people that he managed to string along with him. Without hesitation, he beelines straight for the front row. His friends follow him awkwardly.
They start right on the dot. Hange goes up in front and thanks them for attending. Levi and Mike are on her side each, while Petra holds up the cartolina with their agenda for today. There are three things written on the huge paper: 1. Opening Remarks 2. Ground Rules 3. Pay Up.
"Have you ever wondered what's beyond our school?" Hange starts her speech, her arms opening wide as if in ritual sacrifice. "And I don't mean like outside, but rather, within the solitary confines of our campus walls." There's a few nods from their audience. She goes on, "Then we at the Survey Scouts Club share the same sentiments!"
Someone raises a hand among the audience. "Do we get our money back if we don't like it?"
Hange thinks about it. "Well this isn't a grocery store, but I can assure you that you'll stay until the end—"
"Fuck it, I thought so!" The kid crushes the empty iced coffee in his hand. "Clubs are just a scam!"
"But at least you get freebies." There are murmurs of 'extortion' and 'double-crossers' from those in their seats.
The yada-yada goes on for a few more minutes until Levi has had enough.
"This is going to drag," he mutters under his breath. He shoves Hange to the side and starts, his tone commanding as if he were Tyler Durden from Fight Club. "Alright, if you wanna leave, you can haul your ass out of here. For those who are still intent on joining us, listen up. Ground rules: we do not talk about the Survey Scouts in public unless it's necessary. Two, find a cover-up club. No one must know you're part of this secret club. Three, you must attend all meetings as much as you can. Three strikes and you're out. Projects are also called expeditions and will go on as long as they have to. One expedition at a time. Understood?" He finishes their code of conduct like a death sentence.
There's a hush from the crowd.
"What Levi means to say is…" Hange puts a hand on his shoulder. "If it's your first time, you'll just have to enjoy the ride." She smiles. And then arms akimbo, she flashes them a stupid grin. "So who's with us?"
The kids start lining up, paying their initial fee to join the club. They don't know if it's out of inspiration or out of fear.
After they're done socializing with the new members, the apartment common room is a mess. Levi takes it to himself to clean it all up, eyeing leftover pizzas and empty cans of iced coffees disdainfully. It's disgusting how people do not understand the idea of clean-as-you-go. They should all get sent back to kindergarten for that.
Eld, Gunther, and Oluo are racking up the expenses, tallying their attendance for today, and re-counting all the money they received. After verifying everything, Petra can only manage an "Oh."
"What now?" Levi sighs, gripping his broom. "Please don't tell me I have to pull out my savings for us not to be in debt."
"No, that's not it," Petra hands him the paper. He eyes it as she continues, "It's a breakeven this time. Actually, way, way more than that."
Levi cannot believe what he's seeing. The numbers are accurate; they have enough funds to start on their projects. And if they get lucky, perhaps they'll even have some left in the end.
"Cheers to free iced coffee, then!" Oluo raises up his half-empty can. "Maybe we should get sponsors next time."
Levi gives him a scowl. "Next time, we are buying tea."
END OF CHAPTER
Author's Note: Okay, how did you guys find it? I want to introduce all the characters and remain true to their personalities as much as possible. But I need more ideas and headcanon brainstorming. If you guys have some suggestions or feedback, I'd love to hear them!