Yay! Update! Sorry for the long wait. It's almost been a month!
Kute Anime Kitty: Oh, well, I'm very glad they have a fun filled day for fireworks. As many people can probably guess, I'm rather ignorant of English customs, despite the fact that I have a British friend. I'm silly! Oh well, it keeps me learning new things. So thank you!
Paige-Rossi-Black: haha it is fun to mess with Lily a bit. Haha, my guy friends act just like that too! One of them just got a new girlfriend and since she had been around all of us before, it scared the pants off her. I just laughed, of course. It's normal to me. I've started to think that guys who don't pretend to be gay with each other are strange. Dang my friends! They've screwed my perspective!
Lil Smartass: Hooray for the man whores!
And thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday! And to everyone who keeps reviewing, and to you new reviewers too! I love yall! Ok, since the last chapter was fun, you know what this means…
Chapter 16
It had been some weeks since the Astronomy Tower episode and Sirius's recovery in the Hospital Wing. Sirius had spent much of his time forcing Lily into what she would consider very awkward situations involving James. James seemed rather confused about it all. For his life he couldn't understand why Evans was turning the same color as her hair around him or why Sirius was cackling so often. The former heir took twisted pleasure watching her squirm.
Sirius had to correct himself. It wasn't just Lily that he like to watch squirm. It was fun watching James do it too. He found it highly amusing to whisper things to Lily that he knew James would kill him for saying, knowing how red she would turn when her eyes darted over to James. And James, who would be staring at her as always, would be left clueless when Sirius refused to share what he had said to young Miss Evans.
Sirius was pretty sure that Remus had an idea what he was doing, but Peter was clueless as always. Sirius justified his actions to himself by telling himself that it was about bloody time the two got together. Not that he would ever tell James for fear of re-inflation of the messy haired boy's head, but he agreed with James that he and Lily were meant for each other. They had to be they way they went on about each other. Sirius would see them dating before their time at Hogwarts was through.
Sirius frowned as he threw down his quill. He still had another essay to write for tomorrow and the moon would be rising in a couple of hours. Oddly, James had already finished, and Peter was nearly done. Even if Remus hadn't finished his essay, which of course he had, the teachers would have easily excused him and given him an extra day to complete it. But Sirius figured that telling Professor McGonagall that he hadn't finished the essay so he could run around the Forbidden Forest in his illegal Animagus form with Hogwarts's local werewolf was not a plausible excuse.
Sirius rubbed his forehead, and James asked distractedly, "Done yet?"
"No," Sirius muttered darkly. "I still have good and well over a foot left."
James finally tore his hazel eyes away from Lily. "What have you been doing all week?" he asked. Sirius just looked at his friend, one dark brow arched towards his hairline. "Okay," James said with a whistle, "forget I asked." Sirius smirked as James tried to get images out of his head that most parents found completely unsuitable for children under fifteen.
Sirius got up from his chair and stretched. He then walked away from the table. "Where are you going," James called after him. "Get back here and finish your work. We have a job to do tonight!"
"I'll be back in a minute, Prongs," Sirius called back. "I want hot chocolate."
"Isn't it a little warm for that," asked Peter as he walked into the common room.
"Possibly," Sirius answered, "but I want some." Peter laughed and went to join James at the Marauders' regular armchairs. Sirius hopped out of the portrait hole and made his way down the corridors. He grinned as he thought of his finished essay and of the full moon tonight. He had finally—after months—convinced James to allow him to go back out with the rest of the Marauders to keep Remus company.
Sirius felt he could have been going out for at least two months now. None of his injuries from the Christmas holiday had bothered him for some time now. James was just acting like his mother, as Sirius had forcefully reminded him.
Sirius hopped over the vanishing stair and continued on his stroll down to the kitchens. He tickled the pear and stepped inside. Immediately, a number of house elves appeared at his feet. One tiny female squeaked, "How may we help young master Sirius?"
"A cup of hot chocolate," Sirius asked with a grin. Within seconds, a warm cup of coca was pushed into his waiting hands. Sirius smiled at the candy cane sticking out of brown liquid. He turned his smile down to the elves and thanked them. "You know just how to make it right, Honkey," he said.
The little elf's face lit up like the sun as she bowed and thanked Sirius for his complement. She asked if he needed anything else. Sirius looked down into his cup and shook his head. "No," he answered. "Besides, I need to get back up to the common room. Paper to write."
"Of course, young master," Honkey said, but she pressed a bag into his hand. "But young master should take these cookies back with him. He will like them as they are his favorites. Honkey made them herself." She blushed fiercely as Sirius grinned down at her.
"Thanks, Honkey," he said. "I know they'll be superb. They always are." If house elves had been capable of flying, Honkey would have surely been up somewhere around the ceiling. Sirius smiled to himself as he left the kitchens. All Hogwarts house elves were astounding cooks, but little Honkey was one of the best. Although the house elves were always more than happy to make anything for anyone who wandered into the kitchens, Sirius always got the best, thanks to the crush the elf had on him. James, who loved food on a level Sirius could never hope to reach, found it all rather unfair.
Sirius walked back down the halls toward the Gryffindor Tower sipping at his cup. He turned a corner and nearly ran directly into his little brother. The Black brothers both quickly repositioned themselves and glared at each other. As always, the sight of Regulus brought Sirius's mood down a few pegs. Regulus scoffed at him.
"Get over it, Reg," Sirius said, stepping past the younger boy.
"Don't call me 'Reg'," the other snapped. Sirius turned around to look at him. Regulus continued, "Family members call me that. You aren't part of the Black family anymore."
Although Sirius relished in the fact, it still made his heart constrict when someone brought attention to it. Sirius narrowed his eyes. "Like it or not, we have the same blood," he hissed. "So no matter what Mother did to the Tree, by blood, you're still my family."
"A fact you've made us all ashamed of," Regulus said crossing his arms. "Would it really have been so difficult, Sirius, to be an acceptable child and go to Slytherin where you belonged? But you just have to be different!"
Sirius's eyes narrowed more as he took a step closer to the other boy. "You weren't there when I was Sorted," he said. "Ask anyone who was. I tried to make them put the hat back on my head. Dumbledore wouldn't let me do it."
"But you changed, Sirius," Regulus said. "You are a Gryffindor now. You fight the Slytherins, you befriend and defend mudbloods—"
"Don't say that word," Sirius snapped.
Regulus blinked at him. "See? You used to say it all the time before Hogwarts. Now you're a Gryffindor and have become friends with a dirty muggle girl."
"Shut up, Regulus," Sirius yelled. "Don't you dare talk about Lily that way! You don't know a thing about her!"
"I know that she's a Muggle," Regulus said. "And Mother and Father taught us better than that."
"Mother and Father were wrong," Sirius said. "Hopefully you'll come to see that too."
"I think not," Regulus said. "I, unlike you, understand my duty to our family. Because you walked out, I have to take your place as the heir. You messed a lot of things up, Sirius. Narcissa was beside herself, and I've never seen Mother so angry and hurt. Father locked himself away in the study for days. I'm sure I don't have to tell you how Bella reacted."
Sirius was breathing in short spurts from his nose. Through his teeth, he growled, "You know damn well what they treated me like, Regulus, you know God damn well! Bullshit they were hurt! Bullshit!"
He was practically on top of Regulus as he hissed, "I was in a fucking wheelchair because of them. I haven't had a proper broom ride in months. I've lost half a year of Quidditch. The only dueling I've done was when you and your little band attacked us. Mother and Father don't give a rat's ass about me. All they care about is silencing their mistake, and you know it."
Regulus said nothing as Sirius stormed away. Sirius slammed the portrait of the Fat Lady behind him, blood pounding in his ears so loud he couldn't hear her cry of protest. He stomped over to the table where his Charms essay was still out and threw the bag of cookies down. He slammed his half empty coca cup down and dropped into the chair. Everyone else seated at the table immediately grabbed their belongings and ran to the other end of the common room.
Lily was the only soul in the room brave enough to come over. "Sirius," she asked tentatively. Sirius snorted to show he'd heard her. She slowly lowered herself into the char next to him. "Something wrong?"
Sirius's face darkened even more, but he did not answer. "Anything I can help with," she tried.
Sirius let out a cynical laugh. "Not quite, Lily," he said. "You're a Muggle, remember?"
Lily rolled her eyes. His family again. "Don't worry about them, Sirius," she said. "I know they're jerks, but the best thing you can do it to ignore them." Sirius looked up at her. "Harder said than done," she admitted with a nod.
Sirius shrugged. He wouldn't reproach her for such advice or tell her she didn't know what she was talking about, like he would have with the Marauders. Lily did know. She dealt with Petunia every time she went home. Of course, her parents hadn't ever beaten her within an inch of her life, but she got the basic concept more than the others could.
Lily gave his hand a quick squeeze, and her green eyes flashed to the parchment in front of them. "Oh, Charms," she said, changing the subject. "Want a hand?" Sirius almost smiled at her. She would never have offered if he hadn't been so angry with his family. But with Lily, the resident Charms messiah, he would be done with the essay in time to get to the Shack before anything happened.
So, about an hour later, Sirius rolled up his 24-inch long essay and shoved it into his bag along with his books and quill. He gave Lily a hug and tore from the common room. James and Peter hadn't been in the common room since he had returned from the kitchens, so Sirius assumed they were already at the Shack. Carefully checking around corners, Sirius snuck down to the entry hall of the castle and out the doors, all the while forcefully pushing the recent encounter with his brother to the back of his mind.
He quickly scanned the grounds and was just about to transform into his Animagus form when a cold voice from behind said, "Well, well, well." Sirius spun around to find himself face to face with Severus Snape. Sirius narrowed his dark eyes in hatred of the boy before him. "Out after hours, Black," Snape asked.
"I could say the same about you, Snivs," he mocked.
Snape shrugged and said, "I have a note from Professor Slughorn giving me permission to collect an herb. What's your excuse, I wonder?"
Sirius frowned. He knew good and well that Snape had no note. Not tonight, not on the full moon. All the teachers knew about Remus, and none of them would risk a student out on the grounds while there was a werewolf so near. But Sirius couldn't say something that would make Snape even more suspicious. "Whatever my excuse, I have no need to share it with you," he said.
"In other words, you are merely out causing trouble," Snape said. "But where are the other members of your circus?"
"Circus? Oh my, no," Sirius said. "We don't perform tricks nearly as well as you Slytherins. We also try not to wear little tu-tus as often as you."
Snape sneered. "A feeble comeback, Black."
Sirius snorted. "It looks to have gotten your grease cooking a bit. Could fry an egg on that head, you could. Have you ever tried it?"
Snape's sneer dropped into a frown of utmost loathing. "I'm not an idiot, Black. You and your little friends are up to something, and I intend to discover what."
"Good luck," Sirius said casually.
Snape crossed his arms. He studied Sirius for a moment before saying, "I must agree with your mother's decision, Black. To blast you off your family's tree. You were a waste of effort. Such an ungrateful child, to do such a thing to your own mother."
Sirius balled his fists. "Shut up, Snape. You have no idea what you're talking about."
One of Snape's dark brows rose up closer to his hairline. "You think not? Surely even you could have figured out that the women of our—well, yours previously—society gossip. It's nearly all they do. So, despite your limited intelligence, could you not also deduce that your mother would speak of your shame to her friends, who would pass it onto their husbands and possibly children?"
Sirius tightened his jaw, and his nails were cutting into the skin of his palms. He was breathing in short spurts through his nose and felt that at any second he would jump Snape.
Snape smirked. "Perhaps not," he said. "Obviously your intelligence level is lower than I had previously thought. A shame your poor mother had to deal with that forsixteen years. I would have thrown you out a window. And to see what you did in repayment."
"Shut up," Sirius hissed. "Don't talk about things you know nothing about. You aren't a member of the Black family and never were. Don't pretend to know their business; you'll only embarrass yourself."
"Indeed," Snape scoffed. "I remind you that I am still a part of my family." Sirius was nearly seeing red. What he wouldn't give to wrap his hands around Snape's neck…"But as the entire Wizazrding world knows what a failure and embarrassment you are, I see no reason to continue this conversation." He smirked at Sirius. "Now a better question: where are your little friends?"
"Obviously they aren't here," Sirius snarled.
"Indeed," Snape said. "But where could they be? What rules are they off breaking without you? What are they doing that they aren't sharing with the rest of the school?" Snape looked up towards the sky. Sirius wasn't sure if the other's black eyes landed on the moon or not, but suddenly something inside of him snapped.
"You really want to know," Sirius asked barely over a whisper.
Snape turned to face him again, dark eyes holding a hungry gleam.
Sirius pointed out past Hagrid's hut. "See that tree over there, the Whomping Willow?" Snape nodded. "There's a knot on the truck. If you hit it, the tree won't move, and you'll be able to see the entrance to a passageway. Follow it and you'll see where we sneak off to."
The greedy, hungry gleam in Snape's eyes was even more apparent as he dashed past Sirius and out along the grounds. A few minutes later, after the Willow had stopped thrashing, Sirius heard footsteps behind him. There was a rustling of cloth, and suddenly James and Peter appeared beside him. Sirius knew it was them without looking.
"Sirius," James asked when the other boy did not turn to the new arrivals but continued to stare out onto the dark grounds. "Sirius, what are you looking at?"
"The Willow," Sirius answered vaguely.
"Any particular reason," James asked warily.
"I'm waiting to see if Snape comes out alive," he whispered.
"What!" James roared. "You sent Snape down there?"
Sirius didn't register James's frantic tone. "He's always snooping about, insulting us, trying to find out what we're up to. So I told him. He won't mess with us after this."
"Because he'll be dead!" James screamed. "Peter, hurry and go get Dumbledore! Sirius, stay there!" James took off for the Willow at top speed, his long legs getting him there in record time.
Peter had scrambled back into the castle before Sirius muttered to no one, "I have no intention of moving."
A few minutes later, James came back into view, dragging a pale and shaking Snape after him. Snape's black eyes landed on Sirius and he screamed, "What the hell is wrong with you, Black? Are you trying to kill me?"
"Possibly," Sirius answered.
"Sirius," James snapped.
"You filthy blood traitor," Snape snarled. "Your parents were right to do what they did. They should have finished you off."
Before James could turn to Snape, Sirius had sprung. Both boys slammed to the ground fists and legs flying and crashing into anything they could reach. Sirius didn't register any of the hits, he couldn't hear James screaming for him to stop, couldn't feel his friend trying to pry him of the Slytherin. He just wanted to pound Snape into the ground.
Just after Snape's fist connected with Sirius's eye and Sirius got his elbow lodged under Snape's chin, both boys suddenly found themselves hovering in the air some feet away from each other, despite their desperate attempts to reach the other. "Stop this immediately," a deep voice boomed.
"Professor," James cried. Sirius knew it was Dumbledore but did not take his hateful glance away from Snape.
"Both of you will cease this behavior immediately," Dumbledore commanded, all light-heartedness gone from his voice. Both boys stopped moving, but the venom in their gazes never decreased. Dumbledore slowly lowered them to the ground. Snape straightened his robes and wiped blood from his face. Sirius turned and stormed a few feet away.
His heart was thundering in his chest, and blood was pounding in his ears so loudly that he could barely hear a word that was being said around him. It took a few tries before Dumbledore was able to get his attention. "What," Sirius asked. Peter sucked in a breath at Sirius's disrespectful tone.
Dumbledore overlooked it. "Is this true?"
"Is what true," Sirius asked. He had honestly not heard a word of the conversation.
"Did you knowingly and deliberately send Mr. Snape down through the passage under the Whomping Willow to the Shrieking Shack, where you knew a transformed werewolf currently resided?" he asked with a hitched voice. Sirius could tell that the old headmaster did not want to know the answer Sirius had to give.
"Yes," Sirius muttered.
The grounds were silent for a few moments. "All of you follow me," Dumbledore said and turned back abruptly into the castle. The four boys followed him. Sirius could feel James's eyes on the back of his head. Although the blood was still boiling through his veins, he was suddenly starting to regret telling Snape anything.
They reached Dumbledore's office, and he spoke to them all one at a time. Peter went in first and was out within a few minutes. He quickly ran down the stairs after he was dismissed. Snape went in next. He was in there much longer. All the while, Sirius could feel the burning gaze of his best friend on him. But Sirius couldn't turn to face James.
James went in after Snape, and he was in just a bit longer than Peter. Sirius hurried inside after James exited. Once again, he did not bring his eyes up to meet James's. The door clicked shut behind him, and Sirius finally lifted his eyes to meet Albus Dumbledore's. There was no twinkle in those blue eyes as there had been nearly every other time Sirius had been sent to this office. Even when he and the others had pulled off an enormous prank breaking over ten school rules or McGonagall had so lost her temper with them and they had been sent to the headmaster, the old man's eyes were always twinkling. But this had been no prank. Sirius was in real trouble this time.
He took a seat in front of the old wooden desk. After a few minutes, Dumbledore said, "I can ask you to explain yourself, Sirius, although I fear no excuse can be presented for what you have done. However, I will allow you to tell your side of the story."
Sirius swallowed thickly before saying, "I have no excuse, Headmaster."
"Will you not tell me the story from your own perspective, then?"
"I—I just lost it, sir. I was still angry from a conversation with my brother. And then Snape was snooping around in our business and insulting me, and I just snapped, sir," he said and lowered his head.
"Sirius, I cannot express with words the gravity of the situation. Mr. Snape could have been killed or turned to a werewolf himself. You did not think upon the consequences of your actions at all. You failed to realize the serious amount of trouble this would have caused Mr. Lupin," Dumbledore said.
Sirius winced.
Dumbledore sighed. "While I understand that something horrible happened to you over the Christmas holiday—something you refuse to share with anyone other than James Potter—and this event surely caused you trauma, that cannot excuse your actions."
"I don't expect it to, sir," Sirius said.
"Can you tell me, Sirius, what exactly Mr. Snape said to provoke you," Dumbledore asked. "I understand that you have quite a temper, but even one such as yours would not allow you to put the life of another being in danger for petty insults."
Sirius looked up into Dumbledore's eyes. Swimming in the blue, he could see all the disappointment and worry and willingness to understand. Sirius broke down.
With a sob, he grabbed at his dark hair. "I—I'm sorry, P—prof—ffesor," he cried. And before he could stop himself, Sirius spilled everything. He told the old headmaster exactly what his life in his parents' home had been like. He told him why he had run away to the Potters' and why he had not come back to school with the rest of the students.
Sirius sobbed into his hands, unable to look at Dumbledore for his shame. He had finally spoken it allowed. He had finally spoken the truth. Sirius had shown the headmaster just how weak he was. And crying certainly wasn't making it any better.
Sirius felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up through tear flooded eyes. Dumbledore was kneeling at his eye level. As soon as they locked eyes, Dumbledore pulled Sirius into a tight hug. Sirius clung to the older man like a frightened child. This wasn't right, Sirius thought. He had sent Snape to his near death, and he had told Dumbledore about what his parents had done to him for so many years. He had nearly killed someone and spilt his most dearly guarded secret. But Dumbledore was comforting him. This wasn't right. Sirius did not deserve such kind treatment. He pushed away from the grandfatherly embrace.
"I—I don't deserve this," Sirius muttered. "I should be in trouble."
"Indeed you are, Sirius," Dumbledore said, "but this is just as grave a matter. I am tempted to say more grave." He was silent for a few seconds. "I should have done something about this." Sirius looked up at him with wide eyes. Dumbledore was muttering, more to himself, "I suspected, yes, especially after this Christmas, but Itook no actionsas you said nothing. I should have done something."
"No, Professor," Sirius said. "I didn't want anyone to do anything. I didn't let the Potters." He drew in a deep breath. "And I won't let you either, sir." Dumbledore looked taken aback.
"My parents are too powerful, sir," Sirius said. "They're dangerous enough thinking only the Potters know. It can only get worse if someone else knows." Dumbledore tried to say something but Sirius cut him off, jumping out of his seat. "Don't you understand? I'm a mistake. I'm a failure! They can't have that. Andromeda got away, but she wasn't important to the family. I was the heir. They can't let me get away with this."
"Sirius," Dumbledore said, "do you not see that they are the ones who have made the mistake, who have failed. You have done nothing wrong. If we bring this to the attention of the proper people at the Ministry, they can be brought to justice."
"You're too trusting, sir," Sirius muttered. "That isn't how the real world works. My parents have half the Ministry under their thumbs. They have money and fear to get exactly what they want. I doubt even you could bring them down. And I don't want you to try."
"Sirius," Dumbledore began.
"Can I please just have my punishment, sir," Sirius asked quietly.
Dumbledore sighed and sank back into his chair. "Detentions, two weeks." Sirius nodded and quickly left the room. He barely registered that James was still waiting for him. Sirius sped off down the hall, ignoring all attempts James made to speak to him. They walked into the dorm room, and Sirius climbed into bed and pulled the curtains closed, not bothering to even remove his boots before dropping onto the bed.
"Sirius!" James yelled. Sirius did not answer, but held his breath until James swore loudly and kicked at something. Sirius squeezed his eyes closed and buried his face in his pillow to hide any escaped sobs. The lights in the room went out and the door shut. Sirius didn't know if James had left or climbed into his own bed. Sirius lay in bed the rest of the night, not sleeping but lost in dark thoughts.
Hmmm….Honestly, didn't plan on having Dumbledore know right there. Amazing how these things write themselves sometimes.