Title: How Did Ansel Made Haji Agree To Marry Diva

Author: koyuki-san

Rating: PG

Warnings: Unbeta-ed, OOC-ness everywhere

Genre: Crack, humour

Main Character(s): Ansel, Haji, brief appearances of Nathan, Diva, Saya

Ship(s): Hinted SayaxHaji

Summary: How the engagement between Diva and Haji happened. One shot.

Disclaimer: Blood+ is copyright to Production IG and Aniplex.

Author's Notes: CRACK! I blame this on the orange gummy sweets and the excitement of going to the Euro Theme Park tomorrow. XD

"Haji, you will marry Diva," said Ansel in his booming I-am-the oldest-so-listen-to-me voice.

"... but I don't like her. She's kooky."

"She may be kooky but she's pretty and young and immortal. Where can you find someone like that? Tell me."

"Uh, Saya? She's pretty, young and immortal. Plus, she can teach me music." Haji had that dreamy look in his eye whenever he or someone mentioned Saya. Was that drool at the corner of his mouth? Ansel made a note to have Solomon teach the younger to be more suave, less drooling. Makes bad impressions for vampires everywhere.

"Saya is off limits to you, brat! She's mine, mine, mi– !" Ansel coughed, looking vaguely embarrassed. "Er, I mean, she's ours."

He thought he heard Haji muttered something like 'perverts' and 'orgy' under his breath. He chose to ignore it.

"You will marry Diva, or else."

"Or else?"

"Yes, or else I will burn that cello of yours!"

"... is that a threat?"Damn that boy and his blank expression and his lack of fear for the elders. Namely, him, Great Eldest Brother Ansel.

"No, it's a proposal. Yes, it's a threat, you ninny. Now, do I hear a Yes from you?" Ansel snapped his fingers. The curtains drew back (how it did without anyone pulling it, Haji will never know) and right in full view behind the glass window was Nathan.

Holding the cello over a bonfire.

"Now, what did you say just now?"

"... I hate you."

"What's that?"

"I'll marry her!" Haji looked cross at being forced. "It doesn't mean I will like her. She's crazy."

"Doesn't matter. Now that's settle." Ansel made a gesture to Nathan who looked disappointed that Operation To Burn The Cello and Make Haji Cry was over. He slung the cello over his shoulder like one would sling a bag and jogged off from view. "We shall discuss the banquet and the guests!"

"Why?"

"Why what?" Ansel was too busy grinning over his victory to noticed the bland tone. Which in Haji speak was I-am-going-to-annoy-you-until-you-wish-you-were-dead.

"Why invite any guests at all? We don't need to eat or drink."

"... are you trying to make my blood pressure rise?"

"Will you head explode if it does?"

Ansel ground his teeth, resisted to bash his head over with the pewter doorstop and counted to ten. He looked like ten might be a too low number for him, from the way Haji could hear his teeth grinding.

The bearded Chevalier lifted up an arm, calmly pointed it to the double doors leading outside of his office. "Out now," he said. "Before I decide to make your head explode."

"Oniisan is always so violent. That's why Diva doesn't want you because you're a violent, old fogey."

"... who said that?" Ansel's eyebrow twitched. He will break their necks when he finds out who says that.

"Diva herself. I overheard her telling Nathan." Haji had the sense to run to the door and out of the room as soon as he saw the expression on Ansel's face.

The supersonic howl broke all the windows of the chateau.

In the courtyard, Diva giggled.

Saya looked at her sister curiously, wondering what mischief imp had gotten into this time.

Owari.