WOO! It hasn't been as long as I thought since I last updated! Ten points!

Lil Smartass: I'm sorry! Don't hurt me. Please? I know it was mean, but…I really don't know. It was just mean…perhaps I was angry when I wrote that…? Who knows.

Laillyn: Well, Lily sort of has already noticed James, but she won't give him a chance because of his recent behavior. In my little mind, I see Lily and James getting together in their seventh year. So I won't be writing that. This story is just the sixth year. Sowwy.

Kute Anime Kitty: How would you know if they don't really kiss? Haha, j/k. They don't really do it. Ooh! Yes, blackmail is fun. But even though Snape is a meanie head, I like him, so we shall blackmail Peter to moving to France. He can go there because I don't like France. I don't like France and I don't like Peter. It makes sense, yes? Sorry if anyone reading this is French or something…some French people are cool.

EsScaper: No! It's okay. He wasn't physically hurting himself! I promise. I sort of considered it, but if figured there's enough to this story already, and I'm trying to wrap it up. I don't need to add another problem to the mix.

Everyone else: I love you. Ok…read now.

Chapter 19

Tensions were high strung around the sixth year Gryffindors. Lily, who normally avoided James unless he was doing something wrong, almost never took her emerald glare off him. Her face seemed permanently changed to the color of her hair. Remus, although he knew that James was sorry for his behavior and was planning to apologize, was irritable that James had yet to do so, and Peter was torn between agreeing with Remus and showing friendly gestures to James again.

For the next few days, Sirius Black walked around the school like a zombie. That is, on the few occasions he was seen. He was never at meals and rarely seen in lessons. Lily, on each occasion that he was seen, had run up to him with tears in her eyes, begging him to show some sort of emotions. She was worried. Sirius hadn't said a word to anyone for over five days now. No one had even seen him for two whole days after the Potions incident. That had terrified Lily. She hadn't known where he was, what he might have been doing. She only hoped that Sirius hadn't done anything harmful. It was a possibility. James had shattered him.

Lily could have killed James after what he did in Potions. She had tried, but they had pulled her off him. There was no excuse for what he said, none! And to think, she had begun to like him. She had been considering what it would be like to date him. She had promised Sirius to give him a try. She had been ready to go on a date with James after years of turning him down. But he had ruined it. She couldn't imagine how James would treat her if he could say such things to a person he called his best friend—his brother, as they always put it. She had told James that. He had seemed rather shocked, let down, and angry. Good. He deserved any and all negative feelings that came his way.

For his part, James had been trying to get a chance to talk to Sirius for days. He hadn't seen him for almost three days after the Potions class, and even after that, Sirius had been like a ghost. He seemed to disappear if James took his eyes away for a second. The closest he had gotten was four days after the incident. James had called out to Sirius, but the other boy had disappeared behind a tapestry. Now, it wasn't that James didn't know that there were passages behind that tapestry, it was just that there were passages, plural, behind it. Sirius knew the passages as well as James did. It wouldn't take much effort for Sirius to loose him.

Everyone was angry at James. It hadn't taken long for the argument they had had in Potions to become the top gossip of the school. Everyone knew the details within before dinner. James was the bad guy this time. Lily hadn't stopped glaring at him. Remus was on her side. James had even seen Narcissa Black giving him the evil eye. James had no doubts that if Sirius had still been acceptable to his family, Narcissa would have taken him out a long time ago.

James sighed in defeat. He leaned his forehead up against the cool glass of one of the common room windows. The glass felt wonderful on his hot skin, and his glasses were slightly askew on his face. His breaths caused the momentary fogging of the window.

He wanted to find Sirius. He wanted to talk to him. He wanted to tell him that he had forgiven him and beg for his forgiveness. He wanted things to return to normal.

Normal?

Things hadn't really seemed normal since Christmas Eve. It was always on the back of his mind. James never really stopped thinking about it. Sure, Sirius had physically recovered. He could do pretty much everything he could before. But James had never stopped worrying. He had made sure that he or Remus did everything that was slightly physically demanding during their adventures. Sirius had to have known what James was doing, but he never said anything against it. James just hadn't wanted him to hurt himself somehow. He had been hurt enough.

James swallowed thickly. He hadn't ever noticed. The level of seriousness the whole thing had escalated to was James's fault. If he had been a proper best friend, he would have noticed. He would have come to the correct conclusions. He would have stopped it.

But he hadn't done any of those things. He had brushed off the nagging feelings. He hadn't taken out the Blacks. And even worse, he had told Sirius that he should have sent him away. He had called Sirius one of them.

Damn.

James deserved hell for that. The bottom level. Where the lowest of the low go.

James drew in a shuddering breath, striving to hold in a sob. He couldn't believe himself. How had he let this overcome him? Remus was right. Everyone made mistakes. Who was James to deny anyone forgiveness? He had tried, and look where it got him. James had probably lost Sirius forever. He could try to make it up all he wanted, but James wouldn't blame Sirius if he never wanted to see James again.

James stared out over the grounds of the school. The sky was golden with the setting sun, turning the few clouds in the sky a pale shade of orange. The light glittered across the lake and reflected off the far off goals of the Quidditch pitch. The Forbidden Forest didn't seem so foreboding and dangerous in this light. Everything just seemed peaceful. James wished he could be that peaceful again.

A movement in the corner of his eye caught James's attention. Someone was walking out of the castle and towards the forest. The person held himself in a manner so incredibly familiar to James that he almost gave it no thought. Then, remembering current events, James shot up. He sped out of the tower, ignoring Peter, who he had nearly run into jumping out of the portrait, calling after him. James made it to the front doors of the castle in record time and without tripping once, which, looking back on, he thought should have gone down in some record book. He burst through the heavy doors and ran towards the forest. He stopped just short of the trees.

James could see the figure he was following if he squinted properly. He was about fifty yards off, weaving through the trees.

James drew in a deep breath. He needed to follow. He needed to talk to him. But if he knew that it was James behind him, he would just disappear again somehow. James had to be able to sneak up on him and get him cornered. He had to force him to talk. They both needed it.

Without another second's hesitation, James transformed into Prongs. The great stag bounded through the trees in odd patterns so not to look as though he was tailing anyone. He kept at least twenty yards between him and the dark figure at all times.

Prongs wondered what the other was doing. He couldn't recognize anything in this part of the forest, and he had been in it a fair few times. His quarry disappeared behind a large brush. Prongs frowned, debating on how to cross that obstacle. He walked around the edge until happening upon an opening. He peered forward and into a beautiful sight. It was some form of clearing with a stream running through. It was very out of place in this dark, dangerous forest, but somehow, that made it seem all the more magical.

The stag's brown eyes scanned the clearing and saw Sirius sitting under a willow tree beside the stream with his back turned to him. A golden ball that proved to be a fairy floated lazily by the stag's head. She landed on his antlers and giggled. It sounded like little bells.

For some minutes, Prongs could only stand in the threshold of the clearing, the golden sunlight slowly depleting, and the numerous fairies becoming the chief source of light. What was this place? Had Sirius known about it, or had he just discovered it as well?

The great stag took a few small steps forward but stopped as Sirius threw a small stone into the stream. It hit with a quiet plop. "You can stop now," said a voice so small that the stag was sure he had imagined it. But then, louder, Sirius said, "I know that's you, James."

Almost in shock, James returned to his natural form with a pop. "H-how?"

"Don't you think I've seen it enough times? You'd know my Animagus form anywhere, just like we'd all know Peter's," Sirius explained before falling silent again.

Duh, James thought. He stood rooted to his spot. Now that he was here, he didn't know what to say or what to do. A simple "Sorry, mate" wouldn't cut it. James brought his thumb to his mouth and began to chew on the nail. If his mother had seen him doing it, she would have slapped his hand away.

His mother…

What would she have said if she had heard of the way he reacted to Sirius? She would have killed him! She would have absolutely ripped him to pieces and buried them in the deepest, darkest corners of the globe. She would have disowned him and never spoken to him again. She would have cut him off from all of the family.

Kaelin Potter would have been angry.

James ran his free hand through his hair wildly. He needed to say something. He couldn't just track Sirius down and then stand there like a statue. It was pointless to do such a thing. But what was he supposed to do here?

He opened his mouth to say Padfoot, but quickly snapped it shut. No. No, he didn't have the right to use that name right now. He had forfeited it. The Marauder names were more than just nicknames. They were symbols of what the four boys shared and had done together. They couldn't be used lightly. James had told Sirius that the Black child could no longer use them, at least not towards James. He had been wrong. It was James who didn't deserve the privilege of using those names.

James took a step forward. "Sirius," he finally said. The former Black heir did not respond. He just sat there with his back to James. "Sirius," James tried again. He heard the other sigh. "We need to talk."

"You've said all you need to, James," Sirius said. "I get it. You hate me. There's no need to rub it in anymore."

"No, you need to listen, Sirius," James insisted.

"I have been," Sirius said. "You told me to stop calling you Prongs. I did. You told me to stay away from you. I have been. You told me I wasn't worth saving. I already knew that."

Ah, the straw that breaks the camel's back.

James ran around Sirius and grabbed him by the shoulders. He shook him roughly. "Don't ever say that," he yelled. "Don't ever say something like that again. I know I said that to you, but I was wrong. I was angry and wanted to hold a grudge. You know how I am. I didn't mean anything I said."

Sirius just looked up at him with wide eyes.

James dropped to his knees in front of the other boy. "I was wrong," he muttered. "Sirius, you—you're the most important person in the world to me, and you have been for so many years. I never want to see you dead. I don't want to see you hurting and in pain."

He drew in a deep breath. "But I did that to you. After we brought you to the hospital on Christmas Eve, I swore that I would never let you get hurt again. I swore that I would kill anyone who ever tried to do something like that to you again. But I haven't been very good at keeping that promise. There was that duel with your brother, and the tower thing, and when you got sick. They kept getting to you, and I wasn't fixing it."

"Then I went and did this," James continued. "I pushed you away from us and said things that I never meant. Things I had no right to even think."

He dropped his hands from Sirius's shoulders. "Sirius," he said in a low, ashamed voice, "A simple sorry can never make up for the way I've been acting to you since the full moon. It can't, and I wouldn't let it. You're my best friend, my brother, a part of my life that I can't go on without. I would be willing to spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you, just to get you to look at me again. I—I'm so sorry." He trailed off and hung his head.

Silence hung in the air like a thick winter cloak. It was heavy and uncomfortable. It was suffocating. If James had had asthma, he surely would have been having an attack by now.

The two boys sat for a small eternity in that overpowering silence. Neither moved. James didn't dare to look up at Sirius's face. He dreaded seeing hate or unwillingness. Sirius might have had it with James. James didn't think he would be able to stand it if Sirius really and truly was no longer his friend. Yes, he had been a jerk. He had said hateful things. But James had a temper. He held onto grudges. It was a part of his personality that he didn't know how to overcome or change.

If Sirius decided that James wasn't worth the effort or pain anymore, that would be it for James. He would throw himself off the Astronomy Tower.

"Do you mean that," Sirius finally broke the silence.

"Every word," James muttered. "You're my best friend. I just haven't been a good best friend to you."

"You saved my life. More than once, if I recall," Sirius said.

"How are you supposed to go on without your best friend? As people grow, they get new best friends all the time. One day this bloke's it, the next that bloke is. But there's a person out there for everyone that is just meant to stick with them through everything. I was lucky enough to find you at eleven years old. And because I'm a mental prat, I might loose you," James said, still not able to bring his eyes to meet Sirius's.

It was quiet again. The fairies had stopped humming and giggling. One of the bright creatures floated into James's line of vision. He could just make out her tiny face. Her eyes were wide and full of concern. She looked ready to cry.

James could have mimicked her. He needed Sirius to say something. Yay or nay. Just say it and get it over with.

"You didn't need to bother apologizing," Sirius said. James cringed. There it was, the rejection, the fuck off, the last instant he'd ever get to think of Sirius as his friend…"Just smiling at me again would have been enough."

James finally looked up at Sirius. The former family heir was smiling softly at him, his eyes moist. "I wouldn't have cared if you never apologized for anything you've ever done. Just as long as we're friends, I don't care," he said. "I told you before…you're the reason I'm still alive, if not by my parents' hands, then by my own."

James lunged forward and wrapped Sirius in a tight hug. He pressed the smaller boy to his chest. "Please, Sirius, please," he begged, "don't ever say something like that. Please…"

Sirius gripped James's shirt as he cried onto his shoulder. "I—I'm sorry," he sobbed.

"No, no," James said softly as he smoothed Sirius's hair. "You have nothing to be sorry about. You didn't do any of this. It was me, it was your parents, and it was Snape. It's just that I can't bear to think of a life without you. These past couple of weeks, yeah, I was angry, but they were hell. Remus and Peter, they're great. They're my brothers too, and I love them, but they aren't you. No one else is." Sirius nodded.

They sat together for some time. James didn't know how long they had been out there. He had gotten out of the habit of wearing a watch some years ago. But it was dark. The fairies were the only source of light left. When Sirius's sniffles finally died down, James said, "We should get back up to the castle. It's dark." Sirius nodded again. James stood and reached down to pull the other up.

They walked through the forest in silence, James's wand lighting the path before them. "You know," James said pensively as the trees began to thin. They could just make out Hagrid's Hut in the limited light. "That was the first fight we've had since our four month showdown in first year."

Sirius let out a dry laugh. "Let's not do it again," he requested, a hint of desperation in his voice.

James nodded and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Agreed," he said.

Ok, so…there it is: the make up chapter! Yay, I finally got it out of the way. This actually was kind of hard to write. I mean, there were lots of days that I tried to get it out, but could only get in a sentence or two. Frustrating, yes? Yes indeed. Well, sorry about the lack of Sirius POV here. James is the one with the thoughts going through his little brain right now. Sirius has sort of just been in zombie mode, like just being and not really thinking at all.

Also: this story is almost over. I expect only one or two more chapters to wrap everything up. Sorry if this is upsetting. I love you all. Anyways, I want to get this one over with 'cause I'm thinking about posting another. Pretty much Sirius centered again, of course, but Harry will be the main secondary character instead of James. Let me know what y'all think! Please! And REVIEW!