Chapter 6: Shenanigans United

Levi and Hange try to understand a troubled Eren. They end up bullying a bully amid a much-awaited sports game between Eldia and Marley.

"You're coming to the game, right? It's going to be wild!" Petra exclaims to Levi, waving the tickets that she got after waiting at the booth for three hours. "It's not every day we get to play against the Warriors."

Levi is finishing his homework at the cafeteria because the library is packed. Everyone happens to be cramming a lot of stuff lately so they can all watch the game this week. "Where is it again?"

"At the Shiganshina Coliseum. It's not too far from school," Petra tells Levi as she hands him one of the tickets. "We should be able to go right after lunch."

The University Athletic Association has scheduled the much-awaited rivalry match between the Marleyan Warriors and the Eldian Hunters for this Friday. Marley's a rich-kid school, with all their fancy uniforms, posh accents, and all, which is why Eldia hates them with a burning passion when it comes to sports.

The students there are so wealthy that if you were to leave your phone, laptop, and umbrella unattended, chances are, only your umbrella is going to get stolen.

"I'm not cutting class just to watch a game." He proceeds to the next page of his problem set. Levi solely believes that cuts should be used wisely. One time he chose not to attend the lecture on Hydraulics, he had to finish his Operations Research paper at a bar with a faster WiFi. "The Trost Tavern always tunes in to the live telecast, anyway."

"But this will be different! If we go there in person, we get to buy the merchandise, cheer with those cute finger foams, and support the players. Eld, Gunther, and Oluo will definitely appreciate it."

He has forgotten about that. Apparently, aside from being Survey Scouts, those three are also student-athletes, occasionally representing their university team for interschool matches. They've been working themselves to the bone lately and Petra, much to her annoyance, has been carrying the load that they passed on to her for the club. She's their cheerleader and their biggest fan, too.

"I'll consider," Levi says. "The trash-talking is the one I'm looking forward to. The backs of those three must probably be hurting by now from carrying the entire team."

Petra blows a strand of hair from her face. "So much for the school spirit."

They are not expecting visitors so late when there's a sharp knock on their door.

"Can we talk to you? It's about Eren," Armin confesses. It's almost midnight, and he and Mikasa are right outside their apartment. When Nanaba lets them into the common room, Armin proceeds to tell them that their friend has been acting strange lately, always in a daze. "We think he's going through a phase. He keeps on saying he's feeling like 'ten, twelve feet high and bulletproof.'"

Not the slightest fazed, Levi crosses his arms. "That's puberty for you."

"That's pretty late, isn't it?" Hange looks at him curiously. She's thinking of acne, body hair, voice cracks, and of course, wet dreams.

Levi is not in the mood to explain, so he lets Mikasa continue by telling them that Eren keeps on avoiding her and Armin, as well as their other friends, often choosing to be alone and leaving the classroom once the lecture has ended. He's never been like this, ever, thinks Mikasa, since Eren has always been one to hang out with them regardless of his disposition. After telling everything she knows, she scans the room for their expressions. The four roommates are livid.

"We can't just let him on his own, can we?" Nanaba looks at them.

Mike asks, "Why not? Delayed adolescence will be a learning experience for him."

"You can't just expect everyone to pull themselves together when they're already in a pile of shit," Levi tells him. Besides, they're all part of the same club, after all. Even though they don't know much about the freshmen, it's their responsibility as the upperclassmen to keep an eye on them since they took them under their wing.

"So, what now?"

They are still pondering about what needs to be done when Levi finally speaks, "We'll see what we can do. Something that doesn't involve kicking him in the gut."

A prayer circle was definitely not the first thing in their mind. Mike, apparently being a firm believer of faith (which is totally unexpected coming from him), has convinced them to tell the campus minister, Pastor Nick, about it. "Faith and prayers heal depression, you guys," he smiles at his friends who are in utter surprise.

They're waiting for the punchline, but it doesn't arrive.

The minister agrees to speak with their friend if they agree to accompany Eren. "I take it you're asking for divine intervention for his peace of mind?"

"Actually," Hange clasps her hands together as if in prayer and forces a smile, "It's for our peace of mind."

When they attend the prayer meeting, Pastor Nick asks them to gather together in the center first with the other students. The room is plain, its walls a stark white, save for the grey plastic folding chairs forming a circle. Mikasa and Armin are unfazed as the minister starts chanting a hymnal praise, inviting them to join when he gives them the church songbook. Eren is just standing there trying hard not to laugh, wondering how humanity ever survived all these boring rituals. The song gets to the chorus "Praise to the Heavens Above," and the voices drone on.

When Hange starts singing off-key, Levi whacks her on the head with the songbook.

"Ow! What was that for?" She hisses, rubbing the back of her head. He had to do it to keep her from destroying everyone's eardrums. Pastor Nick eyes them both but says nothing.

However, Eren bursts out laughing like a hyena. He then catches himself, snorting and apologizing with his teeth tuck inside his lip like a donkey's.

The entire thing is pathetic, Levi thinks; if they want to help out Eren, they have to figure out the main root of the problem, not involve themselves in some shitty spiritual remediation.

He can tell that the boy doesn't want to be here as much as Mikasa and Armin. Nevertheless, he agrees to cooperate when Pastor Nick asks him to start talking about what's bothering him. Joining them are other students whom they do not know; devout kids who gather together on a weekly basis to talk about religion and stuff. The boy looks around the room first, worried and quivering when he speaks, "Hi, my name is Eren."

The entire group goes "Hi, Eren." They sound like a dying horse, their voices dragging, bored, and definitely not helping. Levi just wants to disappear.

"Uhm, my father wanted me to be a doctor but now he wants me to enter the military to cancel my student debt." Eren laughs at the absurdity of the situation and then continues, "My mom is against it. She'd rather have me accumulate the interest. So now, I don't know what to do with all the tuition bills coming in..."

Pastor Nick sympathizes with him, "I'm sorry to hear that."

And then Eren bites his lower lip, trying his best not to cry but ends up whimpering and gasping for air, as if his head is underwater. "Oh no… I'm so-sorry… m-my family... my tears w-won't stop…"

"It's okay. Breathe, Eren, breathe," Pastor Nick keeps on urging him as Mikasa repeatedly rubs Eren's back while Armin is uselessly fanning his friend with his hands. The minister holds up his hands once again. "Let Ymir, Our Most Venerated Mother, lighten up your weary heart."

Levi snorts, not buying any of this, but Pastor Nick once again pretends the annoying midget wasn't present in the first place.

Hange whispers to Levi, "Do you think he has daddy issues or an Oedipus complex?"

He does not respond to that. Levi can feel his eyes getting heavy from sleep. It's these long-ass ceremonies that make him drowsy.

Pastor Nick starts with another prayer, mentioning to them to hold hands in a circle while sitting. He explains that he will be asking for guidance from the goddesses Rose, Sina, and Maria, as well as from their mother, Ymir. Then he continues with a scripture reading from a small black book.

At this point, Levi's head is now lolling, no longer able to fight the sleepiness, the sounds around him hushing as if he were in a dream.

Out of nowhere, Hange slaps him on the face. It echoes throughout the room and everyone stops what they're doing. Levi jolts up right away.

"What the fuck was that for?" He rubs his left cheek to ease the sting. It's as red as a tomato.

Hange puts her hands on her hips. "Payback."

Levi's about to whack her with the songbook the second time when Pastor Nick speaks, "You two," he points at them, "For the love of the world, leave."

The two of them were more than thankful to have been dismissed from the prayer meeting. They regretted being there in the first place anyway.

Hange orders some mocha frappe for her afternoon classes and almost flips when the newest barista-in-training misspells her name.

"You have to be more specific if you want them to get your name right," Levi tells her as he picks up the black tea he has ordered. It's too bitter for his taste, the barista having steeped it for too long. A complete waste of his money.

"My name's not that uncommon."

"Did you spell it out in the first place?"

"I told her it's 'Angie' with an 'h,'" she pauses and takes a sip from her drink. "The barista wrote down 'Angeh.'"

They can hear the cheerleading squad prepping the entire student body for the upcoming match, rallying them to attend and support the university team in person. Lunch break goes by as usual, with Hange cramming her lab reports and Levi reading his study notes while eating, which is why they are not expecting it when Nanaba comes up to them. "You guys, I learned something about Eren."

Hitch and Marlowe, two sophomores, have told Nanaba everything after she overheard them talking about Eren.

"Apparently he's being bullied by this person named Djel Sannes," Nanaba retells what she has heard from the sophomores.

This guy keeps on cornering him for money. Levi and Hange can imagine poor, scared Eren defenseless and unable to fight back for fear of retaliation.

Nanaba finishes her story. "We need to catch him in the act and report him to the authorities."

"No," Levi objects, catching the two girls off-guard. "We're going to give him a taste of his own medicine."

Nanaba's lips quiver nervously. She knows Levi is always true to his words, his protective instinct heightened at its peak when someone is in danger. "I'm not sure that's the best idea. Knowing you, Levi, there's a high chance of bamboozling that will occur."

"No one is going to get bamboozled," Levi tells her. "And you don't have to come if you're not up for it. Hange and I will make sure he doesn't come near Eren again."

"Oh, we will?" Hange asks incredulously. "I am so in!"

Defeated and resigned, Nanaba then turns around and leaves, hoping to the heavens above that her friends who are prone to bamboozle others are indeed in their right minds.

Their afternoon classes went by so fast, with their minds completely focused on how they make this big-ass bully pay back for threatening Eren. Marlowe and Hitch gave Sannes' address to Nanaba who in turn passed it on to them.

"Please, please, please don't do something atrocious," Nanaba texts him.

Levi can imagine her biting her nails in worry so he simply replies with "K." He and Hange will just give this guy some spiritual healing.

Before heading to where this Djel Sannes is, the two of them head to the grocery store to buy three dozen eggs. The girl at the cashier eyes them suspiciously on why they needed that many. They look like either they were about to raise a chicken farm or they're ready to offer eggs to the goddesses in desperation.

"Oh, this brings back memories," Hange chuckles as they load the egg cartons in the backseat of her car. "I remember the time I chucked eggs at the people who bullied me in high school for wearing braces."

"Braces?" Levi is secretly amused. "Like the one in the mouth or the one for your back?"

"Does it matter? I had both."

"That's hideous. I would have chucked eggs at you, too." Although the cute image of a younger Hange with a metal mouth and in a body frame seems to appear in his mind, he swats the vision away.

Djel Sannes also lives off-campus like they do, but unlike them he's staying with his parents, which makes him a sheltered brat. His family resides in a rich area with all the fancy houses and huge lawns surrounded by fences. The neighborhood is surprisingly quiet, as if waiting for a crime to happen.

"Maybe we could be great parents someday," Hange sips her iced coffee behind the wheel. Levi almost chokes at the statement. They are parked in an alley opposite Djel Sannes' house (Hange had to attempt to fit her Toyota Prius several times in the narrow space), waiting for him to come home. "...bathing, feeding, taking care of children, and making sure no harm comes to them by pouncing on their bullies. What do you think?"

"Maybe we'll make the world a better place without that imagination of yours." He looks away and pretends not to care.

Hange rolls her eyes and slumps back on her seat. There's some stillness in the cold air wafting through the rolled-down window. Levi snugs into his winter coat tighter around himself.

The sky is already jet black by the time Sannes arrives. After three hours of waiting, they finally hear a car revv into the front of the house, prompting the two to prepare themselves as they hide in proximity.

"Ready?" He whispers to Hange after putting on a pair of shades and a beanie for his disguise.

Hange puts on hers. "You bet." She looks like a Funko Pop version of Where's Waldo?

Everything is dark because of the tint in his sunglasses, but he can distinguish Hange's outline. Quietly, they climb out of the car and hide behind a dumpster, having to hold their breath and swat flies every now and then.

Djel Sannes comes out of his car, and heads for the front door. From what Levi can tell from a distance, he's a tall guy with beady eyes and a gaunt face—the image of a bully.

They wait, with bated breath, crouching low, hair prickling at the back of their neck, and senses on high alert as ever.

Just as Sannes is about to shove the keys into the lock, humming a tune to himself, something flies up in the air like an angry bird.

And then it lands with a loud splat.

He stops humming. "What the—?"

"Hange! I told you to fucking wait," Levi hisses, an egg still in his palm.

His amazing friend just threw an egg on the windshield of Sannes' car.

She had one job. "You told me until he reaches for his key!"

He's fighting the urge to wrangle her neck. "I told you until I count to three."

There are worse things that are currently on his mind, now that they have given away their presence and location, thanks to Hange. It's time for their back-up plan.

"Hey! I know you're out there…" Sannes shouts into the void. He's attempting to go into a weird judo stance, waving his hands around himself like a constipated octopus or an imposter of Bruce Lee. "Come out, you coward…" His voice trembles upon the last word.

Getting up from behind the dumpster, Levi prepares himself for a fight as he hears the crunching sound of footsteps getting louder and louder. In one swift motion, Levi throws the egg onto the taller guy's face as a diversion.

When the poor guy yelps, Levi takes this as the opportunity to knock Sannes to the ground and wring his hands behind his back. "Speak. Why do you keep on harassing Eren Yeager?"

"Ack! What?" The egg yolk is running down his face. "I didn't—no—you got it all wrong!" He tries to wriggle himself free but it's futile to resist Levi's iron grip. "Let me go and I'll tell you!"

Levi puts more force into the man's wrists. "Not until you explain."

The man wipes his yolk-drenched face with his shoulder. "Eren is the menace here!"

"The fuck are you talking about?"

"He's the one causing trouble! I swear! I'm just doing my regular routine, selling my stuff and all..."

Before he can explain, the lights inside the house flicker on. With Levi's attention diverted, Sannes wrenches himself free from the midget's clutches.

He is about to deal a blow on Levi but gets distracted when Hange splats another egg into his face. "Hah! Take that!"

Levi then grabs her as the two of them then scamper to the car and head off, knocking down the entire dumpster and almost running over a cat.

Hange is flooring the gas, trying to evade anyone and anything on their way. Levi keeps looking back, checking to make sure no one's on their tail. "Don't head home, someone might be following us!"

Panicking, Hange keeps on swerving through the highway as if she has no idea where else to go. They're driving at 85 mph at this point, her car tires screeching and smoke belching. "So where to?"

"The bridge over the river," Levi tells her. "There's a spot right by it."

She follows his suggestion, speeding through trucks and numerous cars. They eventually reach a secluded area with bushes around them. Once she finally parks near the muddy banks, Hange takes a deep breath.

And then she breaks into laughter, her head tipping backwards in glee. The melody of it is enough to heat up Levi's cheeks. There's so much relief in it that he could probably just listen to it forever and forget that they have just bullied a bully who's probably going to bully them back.

"That was fun!" Her big brown eyes gaze back at Levi's cool gray ones. "We looked like partners in crime!"

That's not what he was gunning for. He just wanted to scare the guy a bit. But there was something about Sannes that he wanted to believe in; people under a state of mental pressure don't lie. "Well how do you think about being on the run? 'Cause he might be telling us the truth."

"What, about Eren being the bad guy?"

"Seems believable to me."

She rubs her temples. "I don't wanna think. I just wanna drink. Luckily we brought some booze here with us."

"Are you serious?"

To prove her point, Hange opens the glove compartment, takes out two nips of whiskey that she stashes there, and hands one to Levi. "Cheers to you and me against the world."

They fall asleep beside each other inside the car. It's morning, which means they are fucking screwed. Levi has his face slumped against the side window which he rolled down before sleeping. Hange has herself stretched across the front, her head on his lap, drool dribbling down her chin as always.

She looks peaceful, every bit of beautiful, even with her messy hair covering a part of her face. Brushing the strands away, he starts gently shaking her. "Oi, Four-Eyes, wake up. We should go."

Hange wakes up after a while and wipes her chin instinctively. She cracks her back, feeling the discomfort of sleeping in that position for hours.

After making sure they're both completely sober and Hange is good to drive, they head straight to school and sprint for their classes. Two people are waiting for them by the corridor.

"Where have you been?" Nanaba rages like a mother hen, storming towards them with Mike right behind her. "We've been worried sick!"

Apparently, she and Mike have left them 23 text messages and 18 missed calls combined.

Levi looks around, stunned. "Where are the students?" The campus is mostly deserted, as if everyone has also decided to make a run for their lives.

"It's a university-wide free cut," Nanaba explains. "Most of the professors have let their students leave early so they can watch the game. Even Erwin has done so and he doesn't even like basketball."

They're in the Shiganshina Coliseum watching from the general admission seats. Levi would have opted out, but Hange dragged his ass all the way to the car. The tickets were almost sold out and they had to fight some people by the ticket booth who were scalping the desperate ones at absurd prices. Eventually, Nanaba, Hange, and Mike were able to get some off-priced ones. It's a poor view from where they're sitting, but thanks to the huge screen hovering in the middle of the arena, there's not much to complain about.

"Go Warriors!" Half of the crowd cheers, stomping their feet, as their players come into view together with the Warrior Hawk mascot holding out their flag. The Marleyan students are all-out wearing their school uniforms, brandishing their LED banners, several pompoms, and huge plastic megaphones. There's even a gigantic poster of their star player with his face on it. Their ostentatious paraphernalia makes the Eldians pale in comparison with their DIY flags and cardboard signs. It's nice to be reminded of how poor they are once in a while.

After Petra texts him her location, he eventually spots her in the box opposite theirs, screaming from the top of her lungs and throwing her fist into the air: "Dedicate yourselves!" Historia is right beside her, also in her cheerleading uniform, shouting, "Dedicate your hearts!"

Levi is not in the mood to join them for the school chant.

A few minutes more and then the Hunter Eagle mascot comes running from the dugout, flapping its wings and trying to claw at the Warrior Hawk. Finally, the players from Eldia are being called one by one, giving high fives to the coaches and waving at their fans. Petra shrieks when Oluo, Eld, and Gunther are called. Levi recognizes one of the freshmen rookies as Bertholdt Hoover.

When they see the referee position himself on the court, they know that the trash-talking is about to commence. Levi reminds them, "Now's a good time to leave if you can't handle the bullshit sprouting from both teams."

They hear a whistle that signals the start of the game and the entire arena roars. The battlecry has begun. Even Pastor Nick is there, praying hard from his VIP seat. Meanwhile, Erwin is right beside his freshmen students, grading their papers, totally not interested in the sport.

The rally goes on for a while and Eldia misses their first attempt. "Go Hunters!" Hange shouts, running high on coffee. She hears some laughter from the Marleyan crowd. "Wow, I could get used to this!"

A groan escapes the Marleyans when one of their players makes an error. "Oh come on, Calvis! What was that play all about?"

Nanaba is banging her fists on the seat in front of her. "That's a foul! Why didn't they give him a penalty? This is fucking bullshit!"

Levi scoffs, "Maybe you can replace the referee."

The Eldian team makes a comeback and the other half of the arena cheers. Someone's making analytical comments in the background. It's Mike. "All the holes in the game even though the odds are 5 to 1! He could have made that pass to Jinn before Grice got to him. He had an 85% chance! And shit, Bozado got intercepted!"

Hange attempts to join him. "Yeah, Gunther, grab the ball and throw that thing to the other side!"

"Sit down," someone from the Marleyan crowd shouts. "You don't even know the rules!"

Levi hides his face in his palms. There's another shrill sound of a whistle. The referee calls for a violation. "What, again?" Mike whines. "Let the fucking players play!"

It goes like that for the first ten minutes with Eldia leading. And then Levi's attention gets focused somewhere else when he sees a familiar face in the crowd in the box to his right. It's Sannes. He passes by a row where the freshmen are, obviously looking for a particular person.

"Hange," Levi taps her back. "I need you to tail Eren when you see him."

"Huh? Why?"

"Something's not right."

She looks at him with a worried face for a few seconds before shrugging her shoulders. "Whatever you say." Her attention is back to the game. "That's it, Schultz! That's the fighting spirit!"

The commentators keep on describing how terrible of a play it was. "Oh, what a layup! And now Hoover makes a dunk!" Then right after that, Marley grabs the ball and proceeds to pass by all the defenses, earning themselves another point.

"Hah! Take that, Eldia!" Another Marleyan fan yells. Beer cups are being thrown into the air. "Imagine having a stupid bird for a mascot!"

Hange shouts back, "Hey, our bird is bigger than yours!"

Levi grabs her by the back of her shirt. "Oi, stop yelling and whooping. You're bashing them."

"It's psychological warfare! Helps build camaraderie."

"Yeah, but as you may have noticed, we're on the side of the enemy."

And that's when all of them realize one thing: they're sitting on the side of the enemy which makes them vulnerable targets for trash-talking. No wonder that bastard at the front sold them the tickets at a much lower price.

It's half-time and he hears the cheering squad lead their school as he heads for a bathroom break. The Coliseum is huge, housing multiple venues for sports competitions. When he was still in high school, Levi and Furlan once watched Isabel compete in swimming for the junior nationals. However, he still hates the food being sold by the vendors here because for some reason the smell of hotdog franks and popcorn keeps on clinging to his shirt. There's a lot of vandalism in the restroom that unsettles Levi but he doesn't know which one is more annoying: "The hope of the future is in your hands," or "If your team can aim for a spot, then so can you."

His phone vibrates from his pocket. It's a call from Hange. "Levi! Someone's following you!"

He can hear the cheering commence in the background. "Hange, what do you mean…?"

"Be careful! He's—"

Levi hangs up the call. Two men are waiting for him right by the door. It's Sannes. And he's with a pal of his, most likely his bodyguard.

"Hello to you," Sannes growls with a devilish smile. "Thanks for riling me up last night, you fuckin' midget. Too bad your disguise couldn't do anything about your height." He comes closer to Levi and realizes something. "Didn't you just wear the same clothes yesterday?"

Levi glances down at his egg-stained shirt. "Yeah, we ran out of things to wear."

"Poor you. Well, tell you what, my friend Ralph here and I will let you go… if and only if, you help us get that Yeager kid. You see, he owes us a lot of friggin' money for his addiction, and we just want him to pay for it… you know how these friggin' idiots are, right? They never stop yapping and keep on asking and asking..."

Levi's thoughts are already distracted when he notices a kid wearing a fez behind the two of them.

When the little boy swipes something from Sannes' back pocket, Levi knocks out Sannes and Ralph with a kick so he can sprint after the kid.

"Aw man, let us out!" They start banging at the door but Levi has already jammed the lock to the bathroom. He catches up and picks the brat up like a hog.

"Let me go, please!" The boy wails, trying to free himself from Levi's iron grip. He looks no older than ten. "I just want my falafel sandwich!"

"Shut up, I'm trying to save you!" He has no idea what the context behind the falafel sandwich is. But he knows what the kid just took from Sannes. And he's not liking it one bit.

Together, they barge into one of the lower box seats and then back out quickly when he sees all the fans. Running once more, they bump into the two mascots clawing at each other along the corridor, using their schools' flag poles as wooden lances.

The Marleyan Hawk is pissed. "Hey, watch where you're going, asshole!"

"...Wait, Levi? Ramzi?" The guy in the Eldian mascot takes off his humongous Eagle head.

It's Eren.

However, he looks more disheveled than before. He hasn't shaved in a while, which explains the beard and the moustache, and he smells like he hasn't showered for days way more than Hange ever did.

Levi clicks his tongue. "You look like you fell into a pile of shit, Eren."

"Yeah, well, I've had worse," Eren scoffs and then he faces the kid, holding out a hand while gripping his flap pole tightly on the other. "Ramzi, you got the coke, right?"

The little boy is now visibly upset. "Where's my falafel? You promised you'd give it back!"

"Oh, your chickpeas? I'll give that to you when you give me that stuff I asked you to get."

The kid hesitates, the small pouch in his hand behind his back. "This isn't even Coke! I've never seen Coca-Cola in powder form!"

"Oi, Eren, what did you do this time?"

Ramzi looks up at Levi, eyes watery and large as a puppy's. "He took my falafels as blackmail."

And that's when Levi realizes something. He moves in front of Ramzi, protecting the child from Eren. "This kid's not giving you anything, dopehead. He's not going to be your fucking drug mule—"

Someone jabs Levi right in the stomach with a flag pole as if he were a battering ram. Levi flew back five feet away, sliding into the cold floor.

"You don't speak to my brother like that," Zeke spats, revealing his face underneath his Marleyan Hawk costume.

Ramzi, in a panic, goes to Levi to help him out. Eren's laughter is now shaky, his eyes red by the rim. Levi should have noticed the signs before. He can't believe that he's done so much shit from taking him to a priest to bullying a bully. And then this freshman ends up becoming a bully himself, together with his dopehead of a brother. They should have just exorcised him right from the very start.

"I can't help it," Eren says, coming up to him. "I just wanna feel like I'm on top of the world all the time!"

Groaning, Levi nuzzles the throbbing pain in his stomach while kneeling and holding out a hand to shield Ramzi. "Yeah, well that's what you get for getting high. Sannes was your dealer, wasn't it? And now you can't even pay him. So you start stealing while in hiding—"

Zeke pokes him hard with the flag pole right in the chest, making Levi stagger back. "And your point is? What are you gonna do about it?" He says coolly, pointing the wooden stick to Levi's face. He's about to strike once again.

Eren makes a speech. "This world is fucking stupid, and my brain keeps telling me that I am better off than everyone else, so you can't boss me around just like that—"

His sentence gets cut off with a splat. Something runny and sticky hits him on the face.

"What in the—?" Before Zeke can crane his neck, he also gets splattered by the same stuff, dropping the flag pole in surprise.

Levi looks up to see who saved him. "Thank fuck."

Ramzi follows the direction of his sight and see Hange, Mike, and Nanaba on the upper box, the egg cartons in their hands. "I knew these eggs would be useful!" Hange grins.

Nanaba puts a hand on her hip, her eyes glaring at Eren. "That's not how you treat your seniors." Mike snobbishly nods in approval.

Zeke then roars out in anger to attack Levi and the boy but not before the three seniors hurl more eggs at him. Wiping the egg yolk from his face, Eren cusses just in time for Sannes and Ralph to come running in, having escaped from the bathroom. "There you are, you son of a gun."

Ralph, Sannes' bodyguard heads over to Ramzi and instantly pries the pouch from his tiny hands. "I'll take that back, thank you very much."

Levi lets them and carries Ramzi to join Hange, Nanaba, and Mike. They watch down below as the two men are headlocking Eren and Zeke when they start shrieking, flapping their useless bird wings, their costumes now stained and filthy. The scuffle has finally begun.

"So what are we going to do? We can't just let them brawl at each other right here." Nanaba calls out to him. They can hear the chants go "Let's—go—Marley—let's—go! Clap—clap!" in the background.

"Shut up, I'm trying to think—"

Just then, cops barge into the coliseum, and head towards them. "Alright, so who called 911?"

They all freeze as Ramzi puts his hand up nervously, a phone in the other. "I d-did, Mr. P-Police Officers." He then points out to Eren, Zeke, Sannes, and Ralph. "Those guys took my falafel sandwich in exchange for their Coke."

END OF CHAPTER

Author's Note: I miss rivalry sports games and cheering and yelling and bashing the opponent. Also, don't do drugs, kids.