Chapter 9: Getaway Break

The gang goes on vacay.

For some reason it's way too quiet whenever Hange is not by his side. Sure, her not being around lets him clean their apartment in peace, but the fact that they haven't spoken to each other for a week is deeply unsettling for him, with both of them often choosing to avoid each other ever in every chance they get.

It also doesn't help that Levi's really bad with words. He thinks giving Hange space is enough retribution. And it's probably for the best—Levi couldn't stay one minute being in her presence without saying something offensive, and Hange cannot stop blabbering about how Moblit is so good at this and that, or how Moblit can be amazing here and there, now and then, forever and ever, the end.

And so as a pacifying act, the first thing Nanaba brings up in the morning is an out-of-town excursion for this year's Friendsgiving. She edges through the dining table, her eyes gleaming with excitement. "You guys wanna escape for the long break?"

"I wanna escape for an entire year," Levi sighs into his tea. Hange would have sided with him on that, but their mad scientist friend has already gone ahead to check up on her vials in the lab.

That, and she still doesn't want to see his face.

Sensing his frustration, Nanaba rubs his back. "Cheer up, Levi, we're almost done."

He does not want it to be done. In fact, he wants more time. He wants to make amends with his best friend, straighten up everything including his feelings, and maybe even become a slightly better person. But he's an asshole who has a harder time opening up than a clam so instead, he asks, "Where to?"

Mike shrugs his shoulders. "Just some beach hopping. Booze drinking. Guitar jamming."

Levi sets down his cup and frowns. "You mean, we're just changing the scenery?"

"Yeah, together with some of the Survey Scouts, plus Erwin." Nanaba tells him as she bites into her egg waffle. "Gotta give them a break."

Levi's voice is deadpan. "Ah, so we're vacationing with a twist."

On campus, Hange is raging all the more after finding out that Sawney and Bean aren't, in fact, Sawney and Bean. Their brown and gray colors washed away right after she gave them a bath, revealing their skin to be whiter than white. Moblit took all the blame after admitting that he was also responsible for accidentally killing their original lab mice. Obviously, she didn't take it nicely. But the deed was already done, and the good thing, her lab partner reminded her, was that they already got replacements.

"Tch, you should have told her they were shedding skin," Levi chides Moblit as the shorter guy props his textbook open in the library. "She probably would have believed you."

"No thanks, man. I think I've already learned my lesson." Moblit lets out a short laugh. And then he clears his throat when he sees the distant gaze in Levi's face. "By the way, I'm sorry about what happened between you and Hange. I didn't mean it, really."

Levi wishes he didn't have to be reminded of their quarrel. He rarely gets to see her since she's been working so late in the lab. And by the time she gets home, Levi would have already slept by then. Even though he hates to admit it, this guy can take better care of her.

Sighing, he tells him, "Moblit, you're the one who's with her every second in the lab. The least you can do is make sure she doesn't forget to eat, that she remembers to attend her other classes and also, that she showers once in a while."

Hange's lab partner is slightly touched. "That's tough. I'll try my best." Moblit's about to walk away when he remembers something. "Also, just wanna let you know that she, uhm, turned me down."

Levi stops reading and looks up. "Why?"

Moblit merely shrugs his shoulders. "She said something about waiting for someone to admit their feelings. And then she cursed that particular person with a barrage of insults. Sucks to be that guy, if you ask me."

The changing of the scenery seems interesting while inside a rented van. It's 90 degrees outside, no hint of winter nor of the cold that freezes anyone or anything. They're taking turns driving across states, with Mike and Nanaba taking selfies with every borderline they crossed. Erwin has arranged their weekend getaway as a members-only expedition beyond campus, which means they're stuck with each other's faces inside a van for almost 24 hours, ordering take-outs from several drive-thrus along the way.

Surprisingly, nobody has complained.

When they arrive at the resort, all they can smell is freedom and sunshine, with Mike enjoying the scent of the ocean. The freshmen gaze at the water as if they have never seen the beach their entire lives.

After an hour or so, Petra arrives with her fellow juniors, her father having dropped them off. Apparently, they were visiting her brother who's studying in a nearby town.

"To the island!" Oluo charges and then stumbles into the sand, and his friends all burst into a fit of laughter. Levi just rolls his eyes, unamused.

Petra is hauling the food and supplies out of the car when Mr. Rall comes up to him. "Are you Levi? I just figured 'cause you're the shortest in the group."

He hears Eld and Gunther snort from afar, giving them the middle finger behind his back. The old man continues, "My daughter keeps talking about you all the time at home. She actually has a lot of photos of you hanging on her wall."

"Haaa?" Levi lets his mouth drop.

Mr. Rall smiles at him. "She's completely starry-eyed, saying she'll devote herself to you but I keep on telling her she's still too young to marry—"

"Alright, that's enough, Dad! Off you go." She shoves her father back inside his car. Her father tells her he'll be back to pick her up in the afternoon. When he's finally gone, she heads toward Levi and nervously chuckles, "Dads and their dad jokes, huh?"

"That's cute."

She blushes, her face turning into the same shade as her hair. "Y-you think so?"

"Either you're an FBI agent in the future or a psychopath in the making."

Oluo comes running up to him, all covered in sand, and exclaims, "Boss, I have posters of you on my wall, too!"

After lunch, the freshmen finally insist to head straight for the waters with Ymir and Historia chasing after Sasha who is running around with three watermelons. Connie is inflating the huge banana boat together with Jean. The four juniors are hanging out together, with Eld, Gunther, and Petra making sandcastles on top of Oluo who's buried deep in the sand. Armin is picking up the seashells, along with Mikasa and Eren, who has finally recovered from rehab.

The juniors then take out the beer and liquor, bottle caps being popped here and there, and they rejuvenate themselves by taking a long drink under the sun. Even the underaged freshmen take this as their chance to let loose without any supervision. They look old enough to be adults anyway, so long as nobody cards them on the spot.

Levi's never liked the water, being mysterious and containing all the danger beneath its surface. Hange's still avoiding him, often spending more time with the freshmen or with herself. All eyes were first on Erwin being so jacked and second on Mike being so tall and ripped. Even Mikasa and Eren have a 6-pack and Armin who is delicate as a daffodil is just as well-built.

And then there's Levi who slowly unbuttons his shirt and shrugs it off.

The thing is, nobody was expecting him to be so muscular—hard pecs, rock-solid abs, and all. It's as if the second coming has finally dawned upon them all as everyone stares at him in shock. Armin's ice creams fall out of its cone. Even Petra has to lift her sunglasses.

When he sees all the gaping faces, he scowls. "Why the fuck are you all staring?"

"Nothing. We just didn't expect you to be so..." Petra's mouth has dried up like a well.

"Tch, what?"

She swallows hard. "So chiseled."

Nobody objects to her statement.

"He still looks like a rat on steroids," Hange scoffs, adjusting her snorkel before she goes in for a dive.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" he calls out, but Hange pretends not to hear him anymore. The tension between them has intensified so much that none of their other friends choose to intervene. They'd rather keep all their limbs intact, thank you very much.

A hermit crab the size of his entire hand walks on Levi's foot. Clicking his tongue, he forcefully kicks it back into the water. Unintentionally, it lands right where Hange is. All the land and sea creatures wake up from her shrieking.

Beach volleyball is fun when you're not grouped with the shortest person. Levi surmises that's what Nanaba is thinking about when she lost to Mike on their rock-paper-scissors game. Obviously, Mike chose Erwin as his teammate, leaving Nanaba to be partnered up with their midget friend. The two towering men who were both more than 6-feet-tall definitely had the advantage.

She finishes her beer and heads towards the net. "Well, here goes nothing."

Nanaba tosses the ball and Levi spikes it. Unfortunately, it doesn't go past the net. They look at each other in silence, with Levi's sour face enough to block the sun.

"Oi, is this the lowest this thing can go?"

Mike tells him, "Levi, if we bring the net any lower, we might as well be playing soccer."

Levi clicks his tongue. The tall guy has a point.

"This isn't fair," Nanaba whines. "We're at a height disadvantage here."

"Just jump a little bit higher," Erwin advises, as if a 5'2" person hasn't thought about that before.

Out of nowhere, they hear a loud snort from Hange. "Being short should be illegal. People should just grow the fuck up."

They all look at Levi's direction nervously to hear him mutter, "I've tried."

The game resumes when Mike hits a straight shot and Levi receives it perfectly, with Nanaba returning it to the court with a dump. Erwin manages to dig the ball before it hits the sand, having predicted his opponents' movements. The ball flies up into the air right above the net, waiting for a jostle between the two teams. Nanaba smirks, ready for a kill, and Mike, being 200 pounds worth of muscle, accidentally bumps into Erwin while they're blocking Nanaba's attack. The ball hits the sand on their court and the two men groan in dismay.

A few minutes later they score another point against Levi and Nanaba when their smallest friend does a jump spike.

The ball hits Nanaba at the back of her head.

There's a croo-croo sound of an owl from nowhere amidst the snickering from Mike and Erwin. The sun immediately disappears for five seconds or so, and even Levi wants to hide for a while.

"Alright, that's it," Nanaba shouts, balling her fists tightly. "We're calling it quits—"

"Woah, you didn't tell us you were having a face-off!"

The four seniors quickly whip their heads around and see the freshmen sprinting towards them, more beer cans in their hands. Eren's eyes are as wide and bright as ever, and his group of friends are grinning.

Levi murmurs, "A beat-down's more like it."

"Think you guys can win against us freshmen? We've got a battalion here," Jean boasts, smug and proud. He pops another can open and drinks from it.

"You want us to beat you to a pulp?" Mike raises an eyebrow.

"If you can, yeah. What do you think, Mr. Erwin?"

Erwin is hesitant. "I mean… the Survey Scouts are supposed to promote sportsmanship and camaraderie…"

"Come on, it's just a friendly competition," Eren tells them. "An intense game shouldn't hurt that much. The juniors can join you guys to make the numbers even."

The seniors look at each other before shrugging their shoulders. "Okay, what do you guys have in mind?"

"Three syllables! A person? No, an object!"

"Uh, a miracle?"

"Barbecue! That's an object, right?"

It's a game of charades between the freshmen and the rest of the upperclassmen. Actually, a game isn't really how to describe it. A war is a more appropriate term. They're sitting down on mats by the sand, the sweltering heat dancing on their skins. At this point, most of them are drunk and ready to call it a day.

Armin is keeping the timer on his phone, giving each team five minutes to act out the word they've randomly picked from a bunch of words everyone pitched in. The seniors are now apprehensive about this entire idea, but it's too late to go back on their word.

Earlier, Jean was trying to impersonate Keith Shadis just by grumbling a lot and pretending to be a stubborn and grumpy old teacher. Sasha was able to guess it within a minute after Jean banged his forehead against Eren's. ("Good times, good times!" "That hurt, horseface!")

Oluo is now waving his hands like cooked spaghetti, and all their faces are warped in confusion. Either he's doing a very poor job of playing charades, or the rest of them are just too dumb.

"An onomatopee—onoma?—onomatopow?" Gunther is guessing wildly, trying to figure out the right pronunciation. "Ah, onomatopoeia!"

Eld elbows him on the ribs. "That's not three syllables."

Gunther counts with his fingers to check the syllabication, murmuring silently with his lips before repeating the entire ordeal. "I can't even pronounce it properly, how am I supposed to count the syllables?"

"You can't even count in the first place."

They're about to raise their fists when Levi gnashes his teeth. "Oi, concentrate, you brats."

The entire theatrical movements of Oluo are still baffling their minds nonstop when he accidentally bites off his tongue. Armin then signals them that they have finally run out of time.

"You gotta be kidding me!" Nanaba blurts out, her fists shaking in frustration.

When they ask him what the word is, Oluo tells them it's 'lingerie.' There is still blood dribbling down his chin.

Petra scratches her head. "How did that even come close?"

Connie picks up a piece of paper from the small canister and starts acting out the word written in it. He keeps on prancing and holding out his arms like he has wings.

"Something that flies? A plane?" Mikasa is picking her lips with her fingers. "Oh, wait. Not a thing. Someone?"

"Superman? Batman?"

Sasha's eyes are determined. "Giraffe!"

The seniors snicker at the randomness of her answer.

"Giraffe?" Jean raises an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Why not?" Sasha shoots back, offended.

"Next time let me know if they can swim too."

They keep making hilarious answers (fairies, Wonderwoman, volleyball players), none of them hitting it right. The time runs out. Turns out the word was 'Satan.'

"Huh?" Connie grabs the piece of paper and squints at it. "That's not what I've been acting out! I thought it was Santa."

"Are you dyslexic or what?" Jean calls out to him.

"Is it me or is the game getting wilder and wilder?" Erwin chuckles in amusement, tilting the beer in his hand. They all seem to be having fun playing charades while getting drunk.

Except for Levi.

"Tch, if I have known that I have to take care of your sorry asses from getting wasted, I should have just gone straight home."

Erwin arches a thick eyebrow. "We are literally 500 miles away from your apartment."

"I meant home, home. My town's not that far away."

It's finally the seniors' turn. Nanaba has to keep herself from laughing out loud upon she reads the word. The rest of the seniors are intrigued, hoping to get a clue from her expression, but she doesn't give them any. Finally, she composes herself and begins with the basic parts of the charade.

Erwin starts with a few guesses. "Uh, a concept? No? An object?"

Nanaba nods. She starts gripping an invisible stick with one hand. The juniors are quick to come up with creative ideas. So creative that their answers sound stupid.

"A flagpole! Huh, what?"

"Ehrm, an umbrella?" Erwin suggests again. "Wait, a fishing rod?"

"Oh, a punch! A mug! A revolution!"

Gunther whacks the back of Oluo's head. "Which part of your mind are you getting those answers?"

There's no acknowledgement from Nanaba who keeps on gripping said invisible stick, raising it even higher for everyone to see.

Mike finally shouts, "A tree!"

"How can she hold it like that if it's a fucking tree?"

"I don't see you trying to guess, Levi."

"Okay then," he huffs, crossing his arms. "A twig."

Nanaba shakes her head. Left with no choice, she starts licking the invisible grip, and that's when Hange blurts out, with full confidence:

"A blowjob!"

Everyone stops and stares at her for five seconds. The four juniors then burst out laughing, tears coming out of their eyes. Armin waves his phone, noting that time is up.

Nanaba finally breaks her silence, "Hange, the word is 'popsicle.'"

"What do you mean our reservation is gone?"

"It means, it didn't go through."

Erwin has just called the concierge at the hotel they were supposed to stay at for the night to confirm the directions, only to find out that he has not properly booked it the other day. He's been cursing nonstop, muttering that technology is supposed to be on their side. Petra has offered to let her fellow juniors ride back with her and her father, which leaves the Erwin, the freshman trio, and the seniors without a room for the night.

Everyone has had too many drinks. Empty beer cartons lying around are enough proof, and Levi's not sure if he's more disgusted by the litter or by the fact that they just spent more than a hundred bucks on beer and liquor alone.

"Well? Anyone got plans?"

"We could camp inside the van? Or just sleep in a gas station's parking lot?"

There's a lot of murmurs, most of them a no.

Then Nanaba suddenly remembers something. "Levi…" She tugs the sleeve of his shirt, her words slurring from the drunken stupor. "Didn't you say... you live close by…"

It's been an hour of this inside the van with everyone (except Hange who's driving because she seems to be the least intoxicated among them, and by that, it means she's acting like herself) convincing him to let them stay the night at his house. And all they can muster from Levi is a solid "Absolutely fucking not."

"Why not? Your uncle should be able to understand."

None of them will ever understand how his crazy gangster uncle can kick all of their asses in one go. But despite having explained this to them five, six (or was it seven?) times, his friends wouldn't listen to him. To make things worse, heavy rain has started pelting down and the road has become a misty apparition in front of them.

"Can't you at least fucking keep the wheel straight for five seconds?" Levi rasps at their designated driver who's been driving in zigzags for quite some time now.

They miss their exit and now they have to make a detour to get back on the highway.

"It's raining and foggy. I can't see anything!" Hange whines at Levi who's riding shotgun and grumpily navigating the way for her. All of this because none of the other passengers are capable of doing anything useful to society as of the moment. Hange is squinting at the rearview mirror. "Jeez, there's this weirdo that's been following us for quite some time."

They all crane their neck to see the unsuspecting vehicle behind them, eyes trying to see through the fog and the rain.

When he makes a shape of the driver, Levi finally realizes something. "Oi, Four-Eyes, that's a cop."

The sirens start blaring the moment he says this. Blue and white lights start flashing from behind them, sending them to a panic, and they can feel that very moment when Hange is tempted to floor the gas.

"Hange, don't even think about it!" Erwin, being the smart guy, calls out to her. "We are not doing a wild-goose chase in the rain."

Thankfully, she eventually does pull over the emergency lane. While waiting for the police car to follow suit, the entire temperature inside the van seems to have dropped a few degrees lower.

"What happens if they arrest me?" Hange is now wringing her hands in apprehension. "I didn't do anything wrong!"

Levi bites his lower lip. He has thought of this. Hange will have to spend a night in a cell until they can bail her out in the morning. Or until they all have enough cash combined, however long that may take.

And then he remembers they're still mad at each other. "Well, just take one for the team."

"Why you little—"

"Excuse me, Miss." The officer taps on the window. She rolls it down. "We noticed that your van seems suspicious. We'd just like to check if you've been under the influence of alcohol or drugs. Would you mind stepping out of the vehicle?"

"Uhm, Officer, why did you decide to pull us over?"

"You were driving 25 at 60."

"Is that worse than driving 95 at 60?" Frowning, Hange turns around and faces everyone in the back seat, whispering, "Hey, guys, they think I'm drugged or drunk."

"I won't be surprised if either of that is true," Erwin says. He's scrunched up in between his other two other blonde friends. "Mike, go take a sniff of her."

"I can't, my nose is stuffed." Mike takes a long wheezing whiff and exhales through his mouth. Nanaba is conked out on his lap, snoring loudly. He's texting his mother about the symptoms so she can give him some remedies. And then out of nowhere, he blurts out. "Is the S or the C silent in scent?"

"What the fuck?" Levi hisses. "Are you high?"

"I wish I were."

The cop taps the window once again. "Is everything alright here?"

Hange finally steps out of the van nervously. They're pulled over on the side of the highway, other vehicles passing them by and drivers looking at them suspiciously as if wondering what they have done wrong.

It takes another few seconds for the cop to return to her. "You may have to blow this."

"Oh." Hange looks down at the officer's pants and Levi catches her gaze. "I'm not sure—"

"He meant the Breathalyzer, dipshit."

But the cop has heard their conversation. "If you're not comfortable doing that, we can always do a different test."

Hange is all the more confused but doesn't ask questions, probably because she's both tired and nervous, and she's had enough yapping from Levi. The cop then asks her to walk in a straight line, one foot after another, and then turn around and head back to her starting point. Her friends are all watching, and Mike almost lets out a high-pitch yell when Hange lands on her butt from all her lopsided walking. The cop is now suspicious.

"Sorry, she just doesn't have a sense of balance," Levi comes to Hange's defense with a backhanded insult. "Her brain is probably just so big that her body weight can't handle it."

"I don't see your brain making up for your lack of height," Hange snarls.

They have another round of glares at each other, this time with the cop in between them. Finally, the cop lets Hange blow the Breathalyzer, explaining how it works and what happens if ever she does fail. Hange's teeth are chattering by now. Levi doesn't do anything except watch her twiddle at the hem of her shirt with her fingers as the cop administers the Breathalyzer test on her.

"God, I hope she passes," Levi mutters with bated breath. He has never been this nervous for another person before, partly because, well, their lives depended on her.

"If I took that test, I'm pretty sure I'm going to fail," Erwin sighs. "My head is still spinning right now."

"What about you, Mike?"

"Uhm, it's a no-go. My driver's license has expired."

Nanaba wakes up, her long limbs stretching in the middle row, accidentally hitting her boyfriend. "What's up? What did I miss?"

"And I suppose none of you three are able to drive?" Levi cranks his neck towards Mikasa, Eren, and Armin who all nod in unison. Levi rolls his eyes. "Fuck it. So much for a vacation trip."

Hange hands the Breathalyzer back to the cop who checks the reading. It seems like forever before he finally lets them off.

"Hah! I told you I'm not drunk!" Hange exclaims when she hops back into the driver's seat.

"Hard to believe."

The cop drives away and leaves them in peace. However, they still have one more problem for the night. Crickets are now chirping in the background.

"Levi, none of us is sober enough to continue driving," Nanaba tells him, already desperate, and still nursing her hangover. "Please, please… just ask your uncle if we could stay for the night."

They're all looking at him with pleading eyes and finally, he sighs. "Fine, if that's how you want to die."

Levi is hoping to all the gods above that Kenny doesn't shoot him the moment he steps foot inside the house. It's partially his, anyway. Kenny and Levi's mother Kuchel inherited the house from their grandfather when he passed away. But his mother is currently working overseas so Levi unfortunately has to share the house with his shitty uncle during the holiday break. He's been planning to spend Thanksgiving alone in his college apartment, which is why his crazy uncle wasn't expecting him at all.

"Son of a gun," Kenny almost trips when he sees a van right parked right in front of the house. He has been out smoking by the tool shed and doing whatever unscrupulous thing he has in mind. "Whaddya want, shorty?"

His nephew is standing by the porch, arms folded, with a tall, muscular, and thinly-bearded guy posing as his bodyguard. Little does Kenny know, Mike is already shit-scared of him.

"We just need a place to stay for the night," Levi explains, pointing his thumb towards his friends inside the van.

Kenny throws his cigarette into the ground and steps on it. "What do you think this is?" He asks, twisting his foot to snuff the light out. "A charity inn?"

Levi turns to look at his friends. It's hot out but he can see them getting chilled to the bone. "More like a crime lord's den to me."

"That's easy, I can arrange that for you."

Walking sideways, Mike whispers to Levi, "...We can still camp inside the van." The last thing he wants to end up chopped into pieces and left for dead in the woods.

But Levi is determined to convince his uncle. Well, mostly because he has no other choice. It's hard being homeless with a group of idiotic friends on a chilly night. "We won't make a mess, I promise."

"Hard to believe. You're a mess on your own, kiddo."

"Please, we'll behave." Levi has never used the word 'please,' as far as everyone knows, and that's how his uncle can tell that they're drop dead desperate.

Kenny's eyes narrow as if thinking deeply. He seems hesitant to shoo them away. "One night only. You hear me?"

"Absolutely," Levi confirms. He then signals to his friends that they are good to stay.

As Hange attempts to parallel park the van, she accidentally revs back into Kenny's pickup truck. They hear a long screech of metal scraping against metal in the dark of the night, plus Hange's defense that goes something like, "Hah, I'm still not drunk!"

Everyone grits their teeth as Kenny retorts, "You gotta be fucking kidding me."

Levi slams his palms into his face. It's going to be a long, long night.

END OF CHAPTER

Author's Notes: Hah, that's three glasses of wine for all of you! ('Write drunk, edit sober,' a mentor once told me.) I cross-posted this on AO3 for those who cannot access it here, but I'd still appreciate any reviews on either site. Thanks for reading~!