Author's Notes: Warning there is torture in this chapter, anyways I just wanted to say only three more chapters of this story and it is finished XD Please review ^^ I always enjoy reading comments, thoughts and so on. Sorry about the slow update distractions are always so distracting XD :P

Chapter 10 – Tears of Despair

Warmth travelled down his body, in thin lines. He was aware of it. It was there. But his mind kept focusing on not acknowledging it. For if he did give into it – it would be a form of weakness, a reason to bring satisfaction to this man, a reason for his captor to feel as if he was winning.

Leonardo, kept his mind calm, separating it from his body. As long as he kept concentrating on this, he knew he would not give in. His training had taught him how to ignore it. Leo had been taught to ignore all distractions in the heat of battle and pain was always a huge distraction.

But his captor kept at it, carving into his green flesh, digging deeper each time he brought the sharp cold steel against his skin. The frustration seemed to only grow on Derius, until..."you are strong." He finally said, moving back to his desk behind him.

Leonardo took this time to survey where he was, he was chained to a stone cold wall and a few candles where burning casting a faint glow along the walls. Golden browns took a chance to look down, dark red puddles gathered around his feet. They were small puddles but Leo had a feeling they would grow more.

He did not understand why his captor was trying to torture him. There were no questions asked. There were no demands. There was only a hint that it had something to do with Raphael and the symbol now tattooed on his arm, "very strong just like your brother."

The mention of his brother caused Leo to look back at Derius. He was now dipping the dagger in a bowl, "oh Raphael was strong...I can see now how you're both related." Derius chuckled mostly to himself, "but I am quite stubborn, and if I could make your brother scream in agony – I am sure I can do the same to you, Leonardo."

Leo felt something grip his heart. Those words breaking his control ever so slightly – scream in agony – echoing in his mind over and over again. "Hmm..." Derius said a smirk spreading on those haunting features, "well, it seems I hit a nerve..." He walked up bringing the dagger close to Leo's face, silver eyes twinkling, "this is a special liquid, very useful in the art of causing pain. Let me show you." With that he traced a thin line with the dagger along his arm, only breaking the skin gently.

It was not the cut itself that hurt; it was the burning sensation along his skin, as if the very thing was eating away at his flesh. But when Leo looked down all that was there was the cut. Almost like a phantom pain. A pain that caused Leo to squirm against his binds, tears well up in his eyes. He pulled, he tugged but he never screamed.

"Ah I guess you are stronger, but of course your brother being only thirteen at the time could have been a huge factor..." Leo glared at Derius who only laughed as he brought the dagger against Leo's skin again...

Memories...he had always kept them at bay, locked in a place inside himself, where he could only peek and choose ones he rather see and ones he didn't. It had always worked for him. Days, months, years...all of it kept away for a specific reason. But Raphael had learned quickly how easy these memories can be awakened. How easily they can come back to haunt him...almost like a circle, he can run but eventually he will always end up back in the same spot.

So when the pain came...it shattered that place within himself, it shattered the walls he built around those forbidden images of the past. All he could remember now was a dark place, chains, screams, laughter, a woman telling the man to stop...

He faintly heard the concern voices of Mikey and Don but Raph knew that they could not stop this pain. The pain that was burning into his very flesh...

After all...a connection was made.

A bound beyond that of physical. A bound that connected them to death itself.

Their spirits were now one. Which meant that if one dies the other would only soon follow.

This pain was what Leo was feeling.

The fear was his.

Fear. Leo could not understand why it was gripping him, but it was. Sweat trickled down his face as he once again tried to tug at the chains. He was not sure how many cuts had been made in his body but the burning sensations from them were no longer in a localized place. The pain was connected and all over, his entire body ached.

"Oh, you should have seen your brother..."

But it was not the physical pain that Leo felt himself starting to panic over...

"His screams – they were like yours hidden within grunts and growls – well..." Derius had paused twirling the dagger in his hands, "...at first."

The desire to hurt the man before him was only growing. The pain was nothing – the pain was only a faint afterthought in his mind as Leo felt something in him snapped. The anger he had felt when his family had almost died...it was awakening again.

"Of course the physical torture was ineffective...he decided to take things up a notch..." Derius said with a smirk.

That was when Leo finally decided to speak, "he?" He whispered his voice barely audible. It was dry from the lack of moisture and the amount of blood he was losing he had a feeling dehydration was starting to take its slow effect on him.

There was a pause, Derius moved in closer. So close in fact that Leo could feel his hot breath tickle his neck making a sick feeling start to settle in his stomach. Raphael had called these creatures demons and he had a sinking feeling Derius was exactly that, "yes...he." There was a longing in his captor's voice, a painful tone...

"A lover?" Leo asked, his voice was still raw and he found the pain was not subsiding. Whatever this liquid was it was not dying down on the pain. And Leo knew there was only so much he could block out.

A growl suddenly came from Derius and a punch instantly went to Leo's head making it snap hard towards the side, "Don't you even dare ask questions, especially you being related to him!" Leo took a few deep breaths; he felt the steel of the dagger press against his neck, "I would have killed you already but that would be too easy! He deserves to suffer!"

"Why?" Leo whispered keeping his breathing stable.

"Why?" Derius growled now pressing the dagger so that it nicks his neck, "why you asked? Have you ever wondered how your brother escaped? He killed him! Raphael will suffer for the life he took from me!"

He then took the dagger and stabbed it into Leo's thigh. The pain caused Leo to actually yell out, his eyes watering with tears as the pain only intensify the liquid working its deadly magic at spreading the burning sensation all over. It felt as if his very blood was burning him inside.

"I wonder what makes you keep going. This pain would have caused anyone to collapse by now..." Derius muttered seeming to have calmed down at the sight of Leo's pain, "wait..." A smirked had spread on his features and he moved close to Leo twisting the dagger in his thigh to make it dig deeper – Leo yelped in agony, his body shaking and black spots started to cloud his vision.

"I know why. I know your type. As long as your brothers are safe you don't care what happens to you..." Derius chuckled. "Well, well...I have a little secret for you water-dancer..." He leaned in his mouth was hovering over Leo's ear. "Everything you feel – Raphael feels also."

"...no..." Leo whispered.

"Yes...the symbol on your arm you both are connected. Everything I do to you, Raphael feels it...every cut, every wound, every emotion..."

Everything that Leo did to block out the pain was useless. Sure he may be able to block it out, but Raphael had never been the best at controlling himself. Leo felt panic gripping his heart, he felt guilt at putting Raph through this, anger at the man who was torturing him, angry that he could not do anything...everything he worked so hard to build up seemed to shatter and the pain manage to sweep through. No he needed to keep fighting, he needed to stay strong...

"What kind of leader are you Leonardo. You know nothing. All you do is cause Raphael pain. Did he ever tell you about his time within our grasps? Did he ever tell you how my lover decided to use him like a little toy?"

Those eyes, something in them, something dark – his brother was injured in a way Leonardo did not understand.

"You know he screamed for you," Derius said with a laugh.

Leonardo watched slowly as those eyes soften, the darkness seeming to leave them. Slowly a weak smile spread on the darker turtles face, "ya know what Leo, I think I'll do just fine."

"It was like music to my ears. His cries. His pain. Ah, the haunting melody of a mortal in agony."

That once flowing aura with jumbled emotions was like a weak stream – fading.

Fear, loneliness, shame and anger...

"But you know what he kept on fighting. No matter how much times we hurt him. No matter how many times we used him. Raphael kept on going..."

Leo knew that his brother was still struggling. Leo could have felt it just as easily as if Raph had painted a picture in front of his eyes; a picture that was painted with dark shadows and colours mix in a chaotic swirl, where the lighter colours are lost – it was the very aura that was radiating around Raphael.

"He thought you would come rescue him. It was so nauseating his belief in you...but you didn't did you?" Derius said with a laugh.

"I didn't know..." Leo whispered.

"Didn't know? What kind of leader doesn't know? What kind of brother are you Leo? You failed. You did not protect him. You were not there for him. You're nothing but a failure."

Despair...Leo felt it eating at him, consuming him.

You're a failure. Whispering like a broken record in his head, over and over.

The walls had shattered. The pain came like a wave over his body. He no longer was able to block it out. No longer could prevent it from consuming him. He felt himself drifting off into unconsciousness...the laughter of Derius seeming to fade as Leo was trapped within his own thoughts...

"I didn't know...I didn't notice...Raph...I'm so sorry. I failed you. I'm so sorry..."

It was too much. The pain consuming and destroying. Raphael stood up though, determined despite the agony to do what was needed to be done. He finished tracing the runes on the ground...until...

Despair.

A consuming emotion to just give up. To just give into everything. What was the point of fighting anymore?

"Leo..." Raphael whispered shaking as the pain was now blinding him.

"I didn't know...I didn't notice...Raph...I'm so sorry. I failed you. I'm so sorry..." Echoed in his mind. Taking deep breaths, Raph pushed the pain away. He sorted through his head...

"Leo...can you hear me?"

"Raph?"

"You can't give up..."

"Oh god Raph, he told me...how could I have not notice? I should have been there to help you...I should have said something..."

Oh no...Raph thought, he knew what happened. "Leo...listen. You were there for me...remember when we got home after visiting the Ancient One?"

"How could I forget?"

"You came to my room when I was crying."

"You were screaming in your sleep, I couldn't just ignore you."

"The nights when I crawled into your bed?"

"You clanged onto me."

"It may not seem like much bro, but it helped. I was able to move on because of you. I kept on fighting. I stayed strong cause I knew I had to."

"But everything he says..."

"Probably true. Derius was never a liar."

"Why didn't you tell me? Or Master Splinter?"

"Because of the way you're acting now. Please Leo I knew you couldn't save me..."

"But he said you called out my name..."

"Thinking of ya, helped me through it. Because Leo...I love you."

"I love you too Raph..."

"No...Leo not in a brotherly way."

"I know. Same for me."

Then nothing. Raph opened his eyes and looked around. The connection was no longer there...which meant...Leo found enough strength to block it...or...

He did not want to think of the latter.

Something felt different. Those memories were there; no longer able to ignore them but somehow Raphael no longer cared. He did not care about what had happened all he could think about was those words...I know. Same for me.

Leo loves him. Leo loves him more than a brother should. His heart fluttered and he felt as if nothing could take him down anymore. Standing up he looked to Mikey and Donnie who were watching Raphael with worried eyes. "I'm fine." Raph stated and walked up to the runes he had managed to draw in his pain like state.

With that Raph walked to the middle of the symbols and closed his eyes. Raphael glew, and the symbols starting to glow the same golden red glow that represented his colour.

Donnie had to blink for a moment for he thought he saw Leo standing beside Raph. A bright flash of light caused both Mikey and Don to look away and when the light subsided they blinked as they stared at a swirling doorway of light.

"Heh, almost like the Battle Nexus," Mikey muttered, "which by the way...I am the champion of!"

Raph groaned as he looked at Mikey and hit him in the back of the head earning an ow from the younger, "we get it already! Geez Mikey."

"Raph?" Don asked.

Smirking Raphael faced the doorway, "well guys. I say it is time we get Leo and Master Splinter."

Hang on Leo. We are coming.