The title comes from "The Old Witch Sleep and the Good Man Grace" by the Amazing Devil.
"You haven't even apologized," Jaskier spits, and he's not quite sure how this argument started, but he's not backing down now. Geralt has been acting like, well… Geralt for too long, and frankly, Jaskier is sick of it. "Have you ever apologized to me, since we first met?"
"Jaskier-"
"After everything you've said to me, everything you've called me, everything you've done to me, you'd think the least you could offer is a little 'Sorry, Jaskier.' If you want to be fancy about it, you could try, 'Sorry I'm such a massive shithead, Jaskier, sometimes I forget that other people have feelings and don't just exist to be my emotional punching bags-"
Geralt glares at him. Jaskier, to be frank, doesn't give a shit. If anyone should be glaring right now, it should be Jaskier, because again, just to rub it in, Geralt's never actually apologized to him.
The glare does mean that Geralt is getting angry now, instead of just vaguely annoyed. That probably means an apology isn't forthcoming, but it also means that he'll probably start yelling back. That'll make things more interesting, and maybe it'll make it feel a little bit more like he's actually listening instead of just sitting there and ignoring every word that comes out of Jaskier's mouth.
"Are you done?"
"Am I done? No, I'm not done. You do remember what you said on the mountain, right? About me being the source of every bad thing in your life? Have you ever considered maybe apologizing for that? Or at least saying that it's not true? Because you haven't even managed that, Geralt. You've done nothing at all to show that you're even the littlest bit sorry."
"I got you out of your cell," Geralt counters, and oh, oh no, he did not just say that. Fury rises in Jaskier, white-hot and untamable. Geralt didn't just word that like a favor, not when-
"And how do you think I ended up in that cell in the first place?"
Geralt is silent. Jaskier ignores him, his fury still burning brightly in his chest.
"What, did you think I sang the wrong song and the Nilfgaardians tossed me in a cell? Not likely. They wanted information about you." He takes a step forward, jabs his finger into Geralt's chest. "They figured your pet bard might know something, and no matter how many times I told them no, he's actually an ass who left me at the top of a mountain and hasn't spoken to me since, they just kept-"
The words falter in his throat. Jaskier's not used to that, but then again, he's also not used to being tortured the way the Nilfgaardians tortured him.
"Jaskier," Geralt rumbles, his voice a bit softer this time.
"I didn't tell them anything," Jaskier says, slumping and taking a step back. "Not that I knew much anyway. Not the sort of thing they wanted to know, at least. I could have told them all about how you hate my singing and communicate mostly in grunts, but they just wanted to know about you and the princess of Cintra. I didn't say a word about that."
"Jaskier-"
"I can tell you what they already knew," Jaskier adds. "And everything else I picked up. I picked up a lot, actually. They let a lot slip. Not very smart of them, but then again, no one's ever accused Nilfgaardians of being smart-"
"Jaskier," Geralt says again, with just enough emphasis to make Jaskier shut his mouth with a quiet click. For a moment, he just looks at Jaskier, and there's something in his golden eyes, some tenderness…
"I'm sorry."
A few minutes ago, Jaskier would have given anything to hear Geralt say that. Now, he wishes he hadn't, because the words worm their way through his crumbling walls and past his failing defenses, and to his horror, Jaskier finds himself crying.
At first, Geralt just looks wide-eyed and shocked. Then, tentatively, with a hesitation he rarely shows, he reaches out and puts a hand on Jaskier's shoulder. That only undoes Jaskier more, and he finds himself lunging forward, pressing against Geralt's armor like he can melt into it if he tries hard enough. He doesn't expect Geralt to let him stay there, but he does, and he even gently (if awkwardly) pats Jaskier on the back. Jaskier buries his face in Geralt's neck and sobs.
They stay there until Jaskier's tears subside, until he feels wrung-out and exhausted instead of keyed-up and furious. Geralt only lets go of him after Jaskier lets go first. Jaskier doubts he can expect this to happen frequently, if ever again at all, but it was nice, just this once. Geralt's embrace is strong and warm, and it makes Jaskier feel safe for the first time in far too long.
Now that it's over, though, the whole thing is a little embarrassing.
Jaskier coughs awkwardly as he pulls away. "I just want you to know, I won't always be this easy. Next time, you'll need a bigger apology than this."
"I'll keep that in mind," Geralt says, a hint of fond amusement in his tone. "I think it would be better if there weren't a next time. I'll try to be less of a… shithead."
"And… you didn't mean what you said on that mountain, did you?" Jaskier asks, a bit hesitantly.
"No," Geralt says. "I'm sorry."
"Then you're forgiven," Jaskier says. "And… thanks for the rescue."
"I should have come earlier," Geralt says. "I didn't know what they were doing."
Jaskier doesn't like to think about what they were doing. "It's fine. You came, that's what matters. And I did learn some things about the Nilfgaardians that you should probably know."
"They wanted to know about Ciri?"
"Yes, but luckily, I have no idea where she is, so I wasn't even lying when I said I couldn't tell them," Jaskier replies. "But Geralt… they really want to find her. Like, really want to find her. Wherever she is, I don't think she's safe."
"I know where she is," Geralt says. "And she's safe there. But I should get back to her."
"Oh." That makes sense, of course. The princess is Geralt's child of surprise, and the Nilfgaardians want her badly. Of course Geralt should go back to her.
Of course he's leaving again.
"It's a long trip," Geralt adds. "Do you have a horse?"
"Do I- You mean, you want me to come with you?"
"I still need your help," Geralt says. "And you'll be safe from Nilfgaard here too. Unless you don't want to come."
After the mountain, Jaskier thought he'd never see Geralt again. He convinced himself he never wanted to see him again. He convinced himself that part of his life was over.
He's never been more happy to be proved wrong.
"I'll go get my horse."