Blake called several times over the next few days. Her hopes grew every time she summoned the courage to dial Yang's number only to be dashed by Yang's voicemail message. She left messages. She apologized. She tried to explain her actions and motivations. She knew she deserved the silence, just like she knew Yang deserved better. Still, she tried and tried and tried.

The irony of the situation didn't escape her. She flew too close to the sun when she wasn't meant to be there. Through a lie - a made-up connection - she'd conned her way into Yang's inner circle. She hadn't earned that place in any way other than taking advantage of Yang's trust.

Because Yang still trusted, even though everyone used her in some way, shape, or form. Even though she had every reason not to believe anymore, she believed in the good of others. Blake took advantage of that trusting nature in the worst possible way. It hadn't been her intention, but...once she learned the type of person Yang was, she should have immediately said something.

She should have done a lot differently, but that knowledge was useless now. The sun had pulled her in, showering her in warmth unlike anything she'd felt before. And the sun had pushed her away, casting her into a cold, lonely abyss that grew lonelier with every painful second of silence.

"And don't forget to turn in your papers by the end of the week," her professor said as yet another class ended - yet another hour where she learned nothing other than the depths of her imperfection.

While classmates packed up their belongings, she checked her phone and suffered a fresh wave of agony upon finding a blank, empty screen. Still no messages. If she had to guess, Yang probably blocked her number by now, which seemed...fitting.

After rubbing her subtly achy eyes, she packed up her things and left. Not in the mood to talk to anyone, she kept her gaze trained on the ground while making her way home. Still, she felt the curious glances following her wherever she went.

Maybe they knew; maybe they didn't. Maybe they still thought she was the girl Yang Xiao Long liked. Or maybe they realized she was the girl Yang used to like. Why else would she be walking alone? Why else would she look so down?

She felt their stares but didn't care what they thought about her. She didn't care what they said about her. She cared about the hole in her heart. The gaping, still-widening hole left by Yang's absence. She cared that someone she liked so much believed that she used their relationship for personal gain.

Maybe she had, in a way. She lied so Sun would stop badgering her, but she had never thought of Yang as a stepping stone to a future job or career. Yang was someone she loved spending time with. Someone who made her happy. Someone she'd hoped to make happy in return.

She did the opposite, and that knowledge ate away at her heart. She loved making Yang smile, laugh, and escape the pressure of being Yang Xiao Long. She loved the moments when Yang could be herself - those were the moments when she shone the brightest. Those were the moments when Blake's heart beat with a word much stronger than 'like.'

But it wasn't meant to be. As much as Blake thought it could have worked, their beginning assured an end.

The worst part was that she couldn't blame Yang for thinking she'd been used. She couldn't blame Yang for thinking Blake was no better than everyone else. Even though she frowned and shook her head at Yang's friends and acquaintances, who took liberties to a faultful degree, she was no better. If anything, she was worse.

She deserved the silence. Even though it hurt, she deserved it. Even though she wanted to explain herself, to defend her decisions...

Well, she shouldn't have done what she did, plain and simple. But she hadn't used Yang for her capstone. Yang might have inspired the idea, but Blake never considered getting closer to her to better understand how popularity worked. She got closer to Yang because she wanted to. Because she loved every second they spent together. Her project was just...work. Yang was so much more than that.

Hearing a burst of laughter, Blake looked up and saw a group of boys playing soccer on the quad. Her gaze then moved to The Patio and, upon finding that there was no line, she decided to grab a sandwich before heading home.

Heartbreak was, apparently, an effective diet, but she knew she had to eat even though she wasn't hungry. Everything tasted bland, but hopefully her favorite tuna fish sandwich wouldn't let her down. Even if it did, she wouldn't be surprised. That was just how life was going at the moment.

"Hey, what can I get you?" the boy behind the register asked after she walked up.

"A tuna sandwich please," she ordered while handing over her card to pay.

"Here or to go?"

"To go."

Nodding, he returned her card and went to pick up her order from the window filled with prepackaged sandwiches and salads. From the quantity of food available, she beat the lunch rush today, which she wouldn't complain about. The fewer people around the better, as far as she was concerned.

"Here you go," he said while setting the sandwich on the counter. When his eyes narrowed in recognition, however, she realized she should have gone straight home instead.

"Hey, aren't you dating Yang Xiao Long?"

A parade of responses marched through her mind, ranging from mild indignation to surprise. Ultimately, she settled upon sadness while grabbing her sandwich and shaking her head.

"No, I'm not."

He didn't need to know anything related to her personal life, but she offered the truth regardless. He would believe it, because who was she anyway? Just a normal, average college student trying to make it through the last semester of school. Yang was...Yang.

Walking outside, Blake sighed and wished that her crushing guilt and remorse would go away. If not go away, at least...dissipate a little. It sat like a rock in her stomach right now, making it impossible to enjoy anything. Even the warm weather, which had finally lost winter's bite, meant very little when it reminded her of the warmth she lost.

As her thoughts inevitably returned to Yang, she shook her head and made her way across the outdoor patio. A familiar laugh drew her attention just as she reached the sidewalk, and she glanced that way only to immediately wish she hadn't.

Melissa and her group of sorority sisters stood outside the nearby building, chatting about whatever struck their fancy while blocking the doorway. As usual, they looked perfect and unapproachable, but their presence bothered Blake more than normal today.

She quickly turned away, but she wasn't fast enough to avoid Mel's gaze. Mel immediately smirked - a smug, self-satisfied smirk that reflected her true nature. She felt vindicated that she'd kicked Blake to the edge of the cosmos where she belonged. There was only room for so many in Yang's inner orbit, after all, and those who made it that far protected their position with impunity.

Blake hadn't understood that unspoken danger. She worried about saying the wrong thing or slipping up, but she hadn't accurately gauged the threat from those whose positions she'd cut in front of. Mel, and people like her, would defend their hard-fought status by whatever means necessary.

In this case, Mel had been quite effective in her defense. And she won - Blake had to hand her that. But winning wasn't enough - Blake realized that when Mel separated from the group of girls and sauntered over.

Recognizing a confrontation when she saw one, Blake stiffened and mentally prepared to have her wounds reopened. That was the only reason Mel would ever interact with her again - to gloat. To point out how badly she messed up and why she deserved what happened. No matter what Mel said, Blake couldn't cry. Crying would give away how much the brutal truth hurt, and she didn't want anyone seeing that.

"Mel."

Both of them froze at the firm command. When Blake turned towards the speaker, whose voice she would recognize anywhere, tears sprang into her eyes.

Yang stood not twenty feet away, her bag slung over one shoulder while her gaze remained steadfastly on Mel. As usual, she looked...perfect. Gorgeous, breathtaking...a walking beauty.

Blake wanted nothing more than to call out to her, or walk over to her, or use this opportunity to repeat the countless messages lost on her voicemail. At the very least, she willed Yang to look at her. Just a glance, anything to prove she was still worthy of acknowledgment. Anything to prove that what they once had still existed, somehow. Instead, Yang pointedly shook her head at Mel and walked away.

Surprisingly, Mel heeded the order - there would be no confrontation today - instead, she shot Blake another smirk before flipping her auburn curls over one shoulder and catching up with Yang near the building. There, she looped her arm through Yang's and leaned into Yang's side, the overly friendly gesture sending white-hot fire racing through Blake's veins.

The fire turned on her when Yang didn't pull away. Instead, her posture looked...resigned. Accepting. And that hurt more than anything Mel could have said.

Suddenly more nauseous than hungry, Blake stuffed the sandwich in her bag and hurried home. She used to work in the library, watching hours slip away while finishing papers or assignments, but she sheltered in the privacy of her room these days. At least there she wasn't constantly reminded of Yang through something as simple as a stranger glancing at her for a second longer than necessary.

Home was her sanctuary now and for the foreseeable future. When she reached her building, however, she wasn't happy or relieved. She was...tired. Exhausted, actually. The pressure behind her eyes reminded her that she was on the verge of tears at all times, but she probably couldn't even cry anymore.

After trudging up to her apartment, she let herself in with a sigh. Dropping her bag on the floor and kicking off her shoes, she left everything to be dealt with later. Right now, she just wanted to sleep. She should work on her capstone but lacked the energy. It didn't help that her capstone caused even more pain. What had started as an interesting, enjoyable report had turned extremely painful, especially as she unraveled the depths of her foray into social constructs.

When every word reminded her of Yang, she didn't know how she would make it through the semester. Changing her topic seemed like the only answer, but after receiving Dean Caldwell's blessing...she couldn't bring herself to do it. Not only because it was already approved, but because she felt she owed it to herself to see where she went wrong.

And part of her believed she owed it to Yang to be this miserable. Penance, in a way, for what happened. The hours she would devote to completing the project would be agonizing, and that, in a way, made it feel like she was atoning for something.

Hoping to clear her head, she grabbed the sandwich out of her bag and put it away in the fridge. Once that was done, she stared at the refrigerator door while her thoughts returned to Yang.

Why hadn't she told the truth? That question popped up time and time again, yet she couldn't decide on an answer. What kept her from being honest? Had she been so worried that Yang would take it badly? Or was she that determined to see how close they could become before they 'inevitably' drifted apart?

Why had she been so convinced it wouldn't work? Because when they were together...that wasn't something she would ever tire of. And, based on how she felt now, her heart wouldn't heal for quite some time, if it ever did at all.

What if it could have worked? Not just long-term but...for even longer than that? What if Yang was, as cheesy as it sounded, 'the one,' and Blake squandered their chance to be together?

Yang would find someone else - Blake was positive about that. Selfishly though, she hoped Yang never dated Mel. Yang was smarter than that, especially when Mel's intentions were as clear as day: date the most popular girl on campus, use Yang's fame to increase her own popularity and ambitions. That would be a slap in the face Blake didn't want or need, but who knew what would happen...

Finally turning away from the refrigerator, she looked around the relatively tidy living room and tried to decide what to do next. There was always homework or studying, but her mind didn't feel up to the rigors of schoolwork. Other than that, she could clean, sleep, or try calling Yang again.

Her eyes flitted to her bag, but then she remembered that she just saw Yang heading to class. Calling now would only be an interruption, but maybe that's what she'd become now. Nothing more than an interruption.

Hearing a door open, she hardly had time to move before Sun bounded out of his room.

"There you are!" As soon as she heard the cheerful greeting, she sighed and looked down at the counter. "Haven't seen you in forever," he said while walking behind her to grab a soda from the fridge. "You out having fun with Yang? Or maybe staying in and having fun?"

The question hurt, as did the knowing wink he gave her while opening the can of soda and taking a sip. As far as he knew, she and Yang were still dating. Still spending all their time together. Still...happy.

"No," she replied in a dull voice, trying to find a way out of this conversation before her emotions spilled over. "I've been...busy."

"Busy...not with Yang?"

"Can you please stop saying her name?"

As soon as she made the request, he tilted his head.

"What's wrong? Why are you upset?"

"I'm not upset."

"Yeah, you are."

Feeling her emotions slip from her control, she tried to make a quick retreat. But he gently grabbed her elbow to keep her from leaving, and she didn't have the energy to pull away.

"Did she do something?"

Blake nearly laughed at the question, which only made her feel worse. Of course Sun assumed Yang was at fault. He was Blake's closest friend, and he'd always been there when she needed him. It was sweet of him to take her side, but she wasn't the victim here. She almost wished she was because then she could be angry at someone other than herself.

"Blake?"

Guilt and sorrow returning, she sighed and hung her head. If she could get away with it, she would hide from him until she got her emotions under control. Then she could make up some excuse for why she and Yang were no longer together and pretend she was fine with it. They weren't meant to be...they decided to go their separate ways...they were too busy for a relationship…

Considering how much she'd struggled through the past few days, reaching that place of harmony would take a long time - longer than she could possibly hope to avoid him. Plus, he deserved to know what was going on, and it was only a matter of time before he heard it through yet another rumor.

"She didn't do anything wrong," Blake finally replied, meeting his gaze as sadness brewed in her heart. "I did."

While the admission hung in the air, his expression changed from confusion, to surprise, before settling on concern.

"This sounds like a sit-down type of talk."

Still holding her elbow, Sun led her over to the sofa, where she sat with another heavy sigh. Meanwhile, he perched on the edge of the armchair and motioned for her to spill her thoughts. "I can sit here all day," he added when she didn't immediately speak. That was his way of saying she had his full attention for as long as she needed it, but…

Actually, after making herself miserable keeping this locked up inside, maybe it was time to talk. Not just talk, but come clean about everything. After all, Yang wasn't the only person Blake lied to.

"Do you remember the morning after the back-to-school party, when you asked me what happened?" Once Sun nodded, Blake took a deep breath and continued. "Do you remember what I told you?"

"Uh, yeah, you said you hooked up with Yang, and I was super stoked."

That wasn't true, but she understood why he remembered it that way. She'd ensured he remembered it that way. Now, however, she looked at her hands and shook her head.

"I said I hooked up with someone blonde, you said Yang, and I...never corrected you."

"No, you definitely -" When Blake looked up, Sun trailed off and frowned. "...what're you saying?"

Tears stung Blake's eyes again, and her heart started aching just like before. Sun, like Yang, believed her. Even though it was ludicrous to think she hooked up with the most popular girl in school, who was a complete stranger at the time, he'd wholeheartedly believed her. Why wouldn't he? She'd never lied to him.

"That wasn't true, Sun," she admitted, watching the truth slowly sink in before continuing. "I didn't hook up with Yang at the party. I didn't hook up with anyone at the party. After you left, I hung around for about five minutes then went home."

"Oh."

"I'm sorry," she pressed on, tears welling in her eyes as sorrow got the best of her. "I'm really, really sorry. I shouldn't have lied to you like that, and I feel horrible about it." Looking down, she clenched her hands in her lap. "You both deserved so much better."

The first tear splashed on the back of her hand, but she quickly wiped it away and sniffled. That didn't stop the second tear from falling, but she focused on rubbing it away rather than look up when Sun sat beside her.

"Hey..." he said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close. "It's ok. I'm not mad."

"You should be."

"Why? If you think about it, it's kind of my fault."

Finally looking up, Blake wiped her eyes and shook her head. "Sun -"

"It is! I'm the one who pushed you to go out and do something crazy. I'm the one who brought up Yang, and I told Neptune about it -"

"This isn't your fault," Blake repeated more firmly. "In no way is this your fault. I shouldn't have made something up just to make you happy. Or I shouldn't have kept up the lie. I shouldn't have started dating her without telling her the truth. This is my mistake and my responsibility."

From the look in his eyes, he wanted to argue. Thankfully, he didn't. Instead, the two of them sat there silently, the truth finally out in the open.

"...I'm guessing she found out?"

"Yup."

"And she didn't take it well?"

"Would you?"

Again, silence filled the apartment, giving Blake another opportunity to think about how she'd feel if someone did this to her. How would she feel if Yang lied about how they met, then started dating her without telling the truth? How would she feel knowing that someone she spent so much time with, that she kissed and held and...had been with...kept something like that a secret?

The initial lie wouldn't bother her as much as the continued secrecy would. And that's why she should have said something at the onset.

"I can talk to her," Sun suddenly offered. "I can explain that I'm the one who brought up her name - or that I started the rumor - or -"

"Sun…"

Before he went too far down that road, Blake shook her head.

"But I'd do that for you," he said while settling back into his seat.

"I know, and I appreciate it, but...I think we should just leave her alone."

He frowned at the response but didn't protest when Blake leaned into his side. "I don't like it when you're sad…" he mumbled and, this time, she managed a brief smile at the sweet words.

"I don't like it either."

The idea of leaving Yang alone - of letting her go - twisted the knife in Blake's heart. But after countless unreturned phone calls and messages, it was time to accept Yang's decision. What else could she do...badger Yang for the rest of the year? No, she had to let go. She had to stop trying to win Yang back when Yang didn't want to be won back.

If there was any silver lining, clearing the air with Sun was a relief. Avoiding him had been difficult, but Blake had worried that he would also be upset when he found out. A pointless worry, as it turned out. For that, she was grateful. Upsetting him too would be more than she could handle.

"Thanks for not being mad at me..."

"Hey, no problem. I mean, I make up stuff all the time."

"Really?" she asked, looking up at him and raising one brow.

"I mean, can I do anything for you?" he asked, but she chuckled and shook her head.

"Not right now. I think I just...need some time."

"Take all the time you need," he said, squeezing her shoulder before motioning towards the television. "Want to watch a movie?"

"As long as there's no romance in it."

"Zombies it is."

When he got up to find a movie, she leaned back against the sofa and sighed. Healing from this would take time but, eventually, she would feel better. She would move on. She might still look back every once in a while and wonder 'what if?' but those should become fewer and further between with time.

There was only one thing she had to do before she could ever completely let this go - she needed to apologize in person. Hopefully, one day, Yang would listen to an apology. Blake didn't expect forgiveness, nor did she deserve it, but she would feel better if she could at least apologize face-to-face.

Who knew how long it would be before that happened. Weeks? Months? What if they graduated and Yang still refused to talk? Would Blake have to track her down somewhere across the globe?

She would wait that long if she had to. Maybe Yang would start dating someone else, someone who made her happy, and then Blake could apologize. Yang probably wouldn't care as much then. She probably wouldn't even remember. Blake would become nothing more than an unfortunate footnote from the last semester of school. Not exactly what she'd hoped to be, but...those were the circumstances.

"Ok," Sun said after starting the movie and sitting beside her again. "I know there's no romance in this because - well, you'll see."

While he settled in to watch, Blake looked at the screen and felt her mind already drifting back to Yang.

"I hurt my knee last year falling off my skateboard," he suddenly said. "Not escaping a jealous ex-boyfriend through the window."

From his tone, that was some huge secret he was coming clean about. Blake, however, smiled and said, "I know."

"Really? How?"

"Because how does someone jump out of a fourth-story window and scrape their knee? Plus, you wouldn't even look at your skateboard for like a week afterward."

After looking briefly taken aback by her observations, Sun eventually chuckled. "Guess it was pretty obvious..."

"Just a little," she agreed before returning her attention to the television. As the first preview ended, she sighed and slumped further into the sofa.

Talking to Sun made her feel a little better, but she was still, in a single word, defeated. Her life had been turned upside down in a matter of weeks. One minute, she followed her routine like normal - studying, preparing for the end of school and the beginning of her possible career. The next minute, she was heartbroken, remorseful, and wishing that she could have a do-over.

If she could try again, she would never make up that horrible lie. She would seek out Yang instead. She would brush past the sorority girls and introduce herself. She would hope that Yang liked her for being herself, not for some instant connection they supposedly shared.

"You really liked her, huh."

Sun said it as a statement because he already knew the answer. He'd never seen her like this before because she'd never been like this before. She'd never liked someone the way she liked Yang.

"I did, yeah," she whispered. Trying not to be obvious, she reached up and wiped a tear from her eye. "I still do."

This time, Sun sighed and pulled her closer, offering support in any way he could while she came to terms with what happened. Eventually, it would get better. It had to, right? Hearts broke all the time. People said or did things they didn't mean. Relationships fell apart, sparks faded, romances drifted apart. It happened all the time, and people found a way to move on.

Blake would have to be one of those people, even though she didn't want to be. She didn't want to get over Yang. She didn't want to forget the time they spent together.

Unfortunately, it wasn't her choice. She already made her choice, which was spending time with Yang without telling the truth. That was her choice, her decision. And this one was Yang's.