The Truth Hurts
Slogan courtesy of Hellsing-agent-Alucard, her review of Chapter 60.
'Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.'
Marik smiled slowly and nodded. "You know, this bumper sticker has a point," he mused thoughtfully.
"Like the one on your head?" Malik deadpanned.
"Hmm?" Marik turned his gaze on Malik. "What about Tristan's hair?"
Sighing in disgust, Malik said, "Never mind. What is it you were saying about this bumper sticker being right?"
"Well, there is that whole 'not lying under oath' thing in the court system, but pleading insanity will get you out of anything," Marik replied readily.
Malik blinked. "Yeeeaaah, but then you get thrown into a mental institution for the rest of your life, instead of jail."
Marik blinked back. "Oh," he said finally.
Rolling his eyes, Malik said, "So who do you think we should get next?"
Discarding the bumper sticker – and with it his thoughts on how neatly Malik had turned its insult upside down – Marik asked, "Well, who haven't we gotten in a while?"
Malik tapped his shin with one finger as he thought. "Well, a few weeks ago we got Mako, and then we got hit the next day by Mai and Téa…"
"Didn't they also get Bakura and Ryou?" Marik interrupted to ask.
Malik nodded. "And Kaiba and Wheeler, too. Kaiba then went after Bakura alone, and Ryou went after Rebecca…"
"Who?" Marik asked, confused.
"That little blonde girl that carries that stuffed bear around?" Malik offered. "She's supposedly the American Duel Monsters Champion."
Marik nodded in slowly dawning comprehension as he remembered the irritating little urchin. "Oh, yeah…"
"She didn't get anyone back, but Bakura went after the Pharaoh's twerp, who went after Noah, who went after Bakura…" Malik listed.
"Well, that decides it right there," Marik said.
Malik turned uncomprehending eyes on his yami. "Huh?"
"Bakura and Ryou have been hit a lot lately, so it's not going to be them," Marik explained.
"Yeah, okay," Malik agreed.
"So Noah went after Bakura, but who did the tomb robber get that time?" Marik prompted.
Picking up where he left off, Malik said, "Bakura got us, remember? And then we went after the Pharaoh…"
"So it's not him, either. Since we got him last time," Marik explained at his hikari's questioning look.
Malik just shrugged, unconcerned with his yami's rarely seen – and even more rarely exercised on behalf of anyone not in their family – sense of fairness. "Anyway, the Pharaoh went after Kaiba…"
"Another one to take off the list; he's been hit a lot too," Marik interjected, a grimace still on his face at the thought of not being able to take revenge on the Pharaoh this round.
He consoled himself with the thought that there was always next time.
Malik just waved him off. "…and Kaiba went after Duke, who went after Mokuba, who went after Yugi and Yami, who went after us and Kaiba and Wheeler. Kaiba went after Taylor, and now, apparently, horn head has gotten us again."
Thinking back over his list of 'To Hit' and 'Not To Hit – Until Next Time,' Marik smiled.
"What are you smiling about?" Malik asked acerbically, perturbed by his yami's seeming nonchalance.
Marik grinned wider. "I just realized that we get to hit two people."
Malik blinked and then his own lips curved up. "I do believe you're right, koi," he purred.
"Let's make sure those insults hurt," Marik agreed.